I told you, when I get that stone,
我们就无敌了
we’re gonna be unstoppable.
我真受够了
I have had enough!
人老”恶”衰的老坏蛋真可悲啊
There’s nothing sadder than an aging villain.
后会无期 老混♥蛋♥
So long, old man!
别走 伙计们
Guys, come on.
我们可是一个团队
We’re a team.
我上天堂了吗
Is this heaven?
我刚刚炒了我的马仔
I just had to fire my henchmen.
你知道为什么吗 因为他们没有完成任务
You know why? ‘Cause they weren’t getting the job done.
我现在给你解绑
Okay, I’m just gonna untie you now
因为我
because I-I, uh…
我需要你帮我做点家务活儿
I-I need you to do some stuff for me around the house.
而且 如果能稍微陪伴我一下
And it might be, you know, uh, kind of nice to have a…
就更好了
a little company around here.
哦 好的
Oh. Oh, yeah.
两个坏蛋沦落到做家务了
Two villains just doing some chores.
我们能给自己找点什么麻烦 谁有想法
Who knows what kind of trouble we could get into?
刚刚那是什么 你练的反派笑声吗
What’s that? That’s your evil chuckle?
当然啦 -真烦人
Obviously. -Well, it stinks.
你听起来像是个把卡祖笛吞下去了的小丑
You sound like a clown who swallowed a kazoo.
真的吗 你看起来像是
Really? Well, you look like a wizard
一个垂垂老矣的巫师
going through an end-of-life crisis.
滚进去 唐·里克斯
Easy there, Don Rickles.
唐·里克斯是谁
Who’s Don Rickles?
宝石啊
Stone-a.
宝石啊
Stone-a.
宝石啊
Stone-a!
宝石啊
Stone-a…
哥们
Dude.
刚刚差点以为你不行了
Ah, I thought we lost you there for a minute.
嘿 冷静 冷静 冷静点
Hey, chill, chill, ch-chill, ch…
你想要试试这条项链吗 小兄弟
Hey, you want to try this on, little dude?
得到宝石啦
La stone-a!
嘿 小老弟 你要去哪里
Hey, hey, hey, soul brother, where you jettin’ off to?
旧金山
…San Pan-pisco.
哈 旧金山
Ha! Frisco disco!
哇哦 -你今天走运了 孩子
Wow. -It’s your lucky day, kid.
我正要去那
I’m headed up the coast.
我可以顺路把你捎过去
I could drop you off on the way.
呀嘿
Yee-haw!
就是这个宝石呀
…la stone-a!
哦 看呀
Oh, look-a!
哈嘿
Huh? Hey.
从打扫泳池开始
Start with the pool.
给我打扫得一尘不染
This place has got to be spick-and-span.
你在干什么呢
What are you doing?
你晒得就像我妈在感恩节
You look like the overcooked turkey
烤糊了的火鸡
my mom makes on Thanksgiving.
我的天
Oh, God.
哦对了 我忘记说了
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention,
泳池里都是我的宠物鳄鱼
the pool is filled with my pet crocodiles.
好吧 好吧 我才不怕呢
Yeah, well, well, doesn’t scare me.
小心点 我可不想让你没了胳膊
Be careful. I can’t have you lose an arm,
一会儿还需要你换几个灯泡呢
because I need you to change some light bulbs after this.
看着 我来教教你怎么做
Here, let me show you how it’s done.
贝琪 不许这样
Betsy, knock it off.

Hey!
喔 哦不
Whoa! Oh, no.
马文 不 停下来
Marvin, no, no. Stop that.
喔啊 救命 哦不
Whoa. Help! Oh, no.
把抄网伸过来!
The net!
我拉住你了 拉住你了
I got you! I got you!
我没拉住你
I don’t got you.
拉住我的手
Take my hand.
喔哦
Whoa. Whoa.
我抓住你了
I got you!
你本来能一走了之 但是你没有
You could’ve run, but you… but you didn’t.
我跟你说过 你是我全世界最喜欢的坏蛋
I told you, you are my favorite villain in the world.
我不能让你被鳄鱼吃掉
I could not let you get eaten by crocodiles.
虽然说那个场面应该挺酷的
Even though that would’ve been kind of cool to watch.
所以你真想成为一个出色的坏蛋吗
So… so you want to be a great villain, huh?
我一直都非常想
That’s all I ever wanted.
你愿不愿意… 比如说听我
You want, uh… I don’t know, you want me…
教你点东西
you want me to teach you a thing or two?
嗯嗯嗯
Mm-hmm-hmm!
许多习武之人都问过我
MASTER CHOW Many fighters have asked me,
我是如何成为一代宗师的
how did I become a great master?
嘿 看呐
Hey, look-a!
哪怕是最渺小的个体 也可以成就大事
Even the smallest of us are capable of great things.
你只需要深入挖掘自己
You just dig down deep,
找到自己内心深处的猛兽 之后…
find your inner beast, and…
你还好嘛
Uh… gesundheit?
轮到你们了
Now you try.

Uh…
找到心中的猛兽
Find your inner beast!
防住我这一脚
Stop this kick.
要学的还有很多
We have a lot more work to do.
呃 呃
Eh? Eh?
凯文 斯图尔特 鲍勃 你们出师了
Kevin, Stuart and Bob, you are ready.
等会 等会
No, no, no, no, no!
你们的功夫入门奖章还没拿呢
Ready for your junior kung fu achievement badges.
死定了
They’re dead.
抢劫守则一 永远保持角色
First rule of heists: always stay in character.
明白 爷爷
Got it, Grandpa.
您好 我们想用一下卫生间
Say, do you mind if we use the john?
波因德克斯特有点内急 憋不到回家了
Poindexter here can’t hold it in till we get home.

Uh-huh.
邪恶银行
The Bank of Evil.
看着点 孩子
It’s showtime, kid.
跟着我 别忘了你的任务
Follow my lead, and don’t forget your cue.
你好 我要换一下零钱
Hello. I, uh… I just need to cash this.
我的天啊 好大一个银行
Oh, wowie zowie! What a big bank.
这儿有多少保安啊
How many security guards are in here?
这小孩是谁
Who’s this little guy?
是我还不懂事的孙子
Well, that’s my grandson, who still has not learned
还没学会乖乖听话少出声
that children should be seen and not heard.
小孩子嘛
Kids.
我自己也有个小孩
I actually have a son of my own.
他长得真奇怪
He looks weird.
别听他瞎说
Oh, don’t listen to him.
你儿子真可爱
Your son is very, uh, cute.
哦 不
Oh, no!
救救我 我眼前有白光
Oh, help! I’m seeing a white light.
海伦 我来找你了
Helen, I’m coming for ya!
海伦 我来找你了
Helen, I’m coming for ya.
救我
Oh. Help!
救救我爷爷
Help my-my pop-pop!
来人啊
Somebody help him!
救我爷爷
My grandpa!
找医生来
We need a doctor!
我病还挺重的
This is the big one.
哦 -不
Whoa! – Oh.
你听到了吗
You hear that?
是天使那甜美的声音
It’s the sweet sound of angels.
救我
Help!
快做些什么
Do something!
我的生命在流逝
My life is flashing before my eyes.
不不不 另一个方向
No, no, no. The other way.
另一个方向
The other way.
好了 所有人退后

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