婚礼傲客 Wedding Crashers（2005）

Isn’t my Willy doing a wonderful job there in Washington?
妈妈 – 你们知道的威利的父亲，我的丈夫…
Mommy. – You know, Willy’s father, my husband
富兰克林 罗斯福总统的…
was the Secretary of State
国务卿
for President Franklin Roosevelt.
在罗斯福总统手下工作， 一定会很紧张吧
That must have been so thrilling… FDR.
喔，他是个受人尊敬的总统
My gosh, FDR was a wonderful President.
那可是个美男子！
He was a doll.
可他的妻子，埃莉诺…
The wife, though, Eleanor…
是个搞女同性恋的！ – 噢，天那！
big dyke! – Oh Lord.
大搞特搞女同性恋！ 一个真正的女同志!
Huge dyke! A real rug muncher!
看起来就像一只 搞同性恋的母骡！
Looked like a big lesbian mule.
奶奶，在这样的场合， 你不应该这样说话
Grandma, you can’t talk like that, okay? It’s not right.
有人…有人能给我杯威士忌吗？ 看在上帝的份上！
Somebody… somebody get me another Scotch for Christ sakes!
我想回卧室休息了
I think I’m gonna go to bed.
甜心，你还好吗？
Honey, are you okay?
是的，当然，就是有点累…
Oh, yeah, I’m fine. You know, I’m just a little tired. Thanks.
好吧 – 你没事吧？
Okay. – You all right?
别担心，我没事
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
多么强壮的运动员啊！
What an athlete. A tremendous competitor.
是啊
I know.
托德，你怎么什么都不吃啊
Todd, I noticed that you haven’t even touched your food yet.
我不吃鱼和肉！ – 他是个男同性恋！
I don’t eat meat or fish. – He’s a homo.
妈妈，别再说这样的话了
Mommy, let’s not go there again.
事实上托德是个很好的画家
Actually, um, Todd is an amazing painter.
他收到了罗德 艾伦 设计学院的录取通知书
He’s going to the Rhode Island School of Design.
喔，那个学校很有名啊！ 恭喜啊，托德
Oh, that’s a great school. Congratulations, Todd.
这可很不寻常啊！RISD(罗德艾伦设计学院简称)
That’s really impressive, “Rizdee.”
是的，爸爸…爸爸以前常认为我是 他在政坛上的负担
Yeah, Dad… Dad used to think I’d be a political liability,
当他要竞选总统的时候
you know, in case he ever ran for President.
别说了，托德！ 实际上，说真的…
Now, Todd! Actually, truth be told,
投票表明，大部分的美国选民…
polling shows a majority of the American people
会同情并理解我们的情况
would ultimately empathize with our situation.
什么情况？爹地？！ – 你是个同性恋
What is our situation, Dad?! – You’re a homo.
噢，看在上帝的份上，威廉， 带她回房♥休息吧
Oh, for God sakes, William, put Mommy to bed already.
好了，妈妈， 今天你一定很累了吧
Okay. Mommy, we’ve had a long day.
我自己会走的，白♥痴♥
I can do it myself, asshole.
哇…
Wow.
我要回卧室作画了
I’ll be in my room painting.
同性恋主题的
Homo things.
走吧，托德
You just go right ahead, Toddy.
嗯，绝佳的扇贝！ – 当然，棒极了
Mmm, wonderful scallops. – Absolutely. Wonderful.
大家，嗯…
You know, um…
我想出去吸点新鲜空气
I think I’m gonna get some air.
我也去，如果你要人陪的话
Oh, I’ll get some air if you want some company.
当然 – 那等我去换下鞋子
Sure. – Let me just change my shoes.
失陪了 – 好的，可我，似乎离不开这些…
Excuse me. – All right. I’m gonna… can’t walk away
美味的食物… 我就不去了
from the delicious food that we got here.
我的乳♥房♥♥怎么样？
I just had my tits done.
你喜欢吗？
You like ’em?
这个…看起来是很不错的胸部啊
Those… seem like lovely tits.
可惜威利(部长)一点都不懂欣赏
William doesn’t give a shit about my tits.
那么, 他真该死
Well, darn him.
但是,克里瑞夫人 这个…有点突然啊
But Mrs. Cleary, this is pretty sudden.
从你到这来之后 你就开始挑逗我
You’ve been playing cat and mouse with me ever since you came here.
克里瑞夫人,我没有… -叫我“猫”吧
Mrs. Cleary, l don’t– – Call me Cat.
好吧，猫
Okay, Cat–
叫我“猫咪”
Call me Kitty Cat.
好吧，猫咪
Okay, Kitty Cat,
我觉得这种不恰当的行为 快要越线了,而且…
this feels borderline inappropriate, and–
摸摸他们 -什么?
Feel them. – What?
我说摸一下 – 克里瑞夫人
l said feel them. – Mrs. Cleary–
猫咪
Kitty Cat.
我很抱歉,猫咪 你疯了吗？
l’m sorry, Kitty Cat. Are you out of your fucking mind?
你不摸
l’m not letting you out of this room
就别想出这房♥间
until you feel them.
手感很不错啊, 这种球状感 真是很奇怪,你能够有球状…
Wow, they feel really nice. Real orb-like.
变♥态♥
Pervert.
妈妈让你–摸了她的胸部
你说什么了，托德
妈妈让你摸她的胸部
托德，你在这干吗
什么都别告诉我爸爸
我姐姐的朋友
她对我父亲很多年前说过这些
现在，我爸爸住在关岛的一个快餐店里
这不是闹着玩的
别和我开玩笑了
你差点真唬住我了
约翰，我有事要跟你说 -不，现在不行
John, l need to talk to you. – No, not right now.
你怎么了？你脸上的 表情看上去为什么那么奇怪?
What’s wrong with you? Why you got the weird look all over your face?
克莱尔的妈妈刚才 要我摸她的胸部
Claire’s mom just made me grab her hooters.
振作点, 怎么了 一个又老又辣的女人
Well, snap out of it! What? A hot, older woman
让你摸她的咪♥咪♥? 别表现得像个小女孩一样
made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.
我可没有表现得 像个小女孩一样
l wasn’t crying like a little girl.
你为什么不试试 在着这个该死家庭面前
Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front
的桌子下手♥淫♥ 搞点真正的麻烦? 蠢货
of the whole damn family and have some real problems? Jackass.
无论如何,他们怎么样 看起来不错吧,是真的吗?
What were they like, anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real?
感觉刺♥激♥还是舒适 你怎么做了? 玩”摩托艇”了
Are they built for speed or for comfort? What you do with ’em? Motorboat?
你玩”摩托艇”了? (把头埋入双乳之间,左右摩擦)
You play the motorboat? Ppppt!
你这个玩”摩托艇”的混♥蛋♥ 你这个老水手!
You motorboatin’ son of a bitch. You old sailor, you!
她在哪儿? 她还在房♥里?
Where is she? She still in the house?
你发什么神经?
What is wrong with you?
什么我怎么了？你怎么了？
What do you mean what’s wrong with– what’s wrong with you?
你怎么了？ -你怎么了？
No, what’s wrong with you? – No, what’s wrong with you?
你在影响我的想法 省省吧
You’re projecting. – Drop it.
你省省吧 你别继续影响我的想法
You drop it! You stop projecting on me.
你干吗不去寻寻快活 我还要去冷却蛋蛋,再吐吐♥血♥
Why don’t you go enjoy yourself while l go ice my balls and spit up blood?
省省吧 -真是个“合作伙伴”啊！
Drop it! – ”Team player.”
嗯。
哦，总统先生
你想干什么？
你在我的房♥间。
哦，天啊
嗯，我喝醉了走不动
把我抱回房♥间
抱你？
好吧！
你和女儿与祖母都交往？
你太离谱了
离谱？听我说
家里的狗在楼下睡觉
如果你想的话，我可以叫醒它。它叫史努其
你一定是搞错了
对她温柔点，好吗？
毕竟她快90了
上帝！
嗨!幸好我没有屏住呼吸等你出来
Hey! Good thing l didn’t hold my breath.
对不起，我, 嗯…
Yeah, l’m sorry, l just, uh…
对不起，我来晚了,我只是–
Sorry l’m late, l just–
你没事吧？
You okay?
不，我没事,只是–
No no, l’m fine, l just–
我只是被别的事耽搁了
l just got, uh, held up.
我的家庭有点怪吧！
Hmm. My family’s a little strange. – A little strange?
一点儿?
说真的,克莱尔
Come on. Claire.
你们家… 就是群疯子
Your family… are totally nuts.
而且你猜怎么着? – 怎么?
And guess what? – What?
我喜欢这样 – 是吗？
l love it. – You do?
是啊, 感觉很好 – 真的?
Yeah, it seems great. – Really?
是啊! – 我可感觉有点难为情
Yes! – l get a little self-conscious.
这是个家庭啊 家里面各种各样的人混杂在一起啊
lt’s a family! You’re mixing it up.
有个非常可爱的老奶奶
You got the sweet little grandma who’s really sweet
小小的个子,满头白发 可说话又很刻薄
with her, like, little, like, white hair, but then she’s kinda mean.
但是你又感觉 真♥他♥妈♥的…但是她又
But you’re like, ”Well, fuck it, she’s so old,
已经那么老了 没法改变了
and she’s not gonna change now.”
噢 – 妈的, 还真不错啊
Oh. – Shit, it was great!
我反到觉得开得那个玩笑很难堪
l just hope l didn’t embarrass myself with that stupid joke l told.
怎么会呢，很好笑啊
Are you kidding? That was so funny!
不可能的吧,你说真的吗? – 是的!是的, 你就像一个
No, really? Really? – Yeah! Yeah, you’re like that
疯狂的客人, 已经把自己 当成了家庭的一部分…
crazy guest who thinks he’s part of the family already, it’s–
你觉得那样很好吗？ 我觉得很可怕
Doesn’t sound that great. That sounds horrible.
那样很不错啊 – 疯狂的客人,
No, it’s cute. – The crazy guest who thinks he’s
已经把自己当成了家庭的一部分 还说那些不合适的话, 这都是什么啊?
like a part of the family who’s gonna say inappropriate stuff? What is that?
是啊,你看, 你把气氛搞活了 – 是吗
Yeah. You know, you break the ice. – Yeah.
家里有时候真的是太死板,太无味了
lt can be so stuffy sometimes in there.
克莱尔?