伯尼（2011）

太…荣幸了
Oh! That… would be my pleasure.
高中时 我想成为一名福音传教士
In high school I wanted to be an evangelist
去拯救同学们的灵魂
to save the souls of my fellow students.
他们中好多人都开始抽烟喝酒
A lot of them were starting to drink and smoke
飙摩托车
and ride motorcycles
以及发生婚前性行为等
and have premarital sexual experiences and all that.
-好的 谢谢 -来 伯尼
– Oh, yes please! – Here you go, Bernie.
谢谢 埃斯梅拉达
Thank you, Esmeralda.
有一次…
When…
玛乔丽女士?
Miss Marjorie?
有一次 我帮助四个十几岁的孩子
One time I got four teenagers
重新皈依我主
to re-dedicate their lives to Jesus,
不过 最终我意识到
but eventually I realized
我有其它要紧的使命
I was meant for other equally important things.
不是吧 伯尼
Oh, please, Bernie,
拾掇那些冰冷浮肿的尸体 得了吧
touching all those cold bloated bodies. Please!
你不觉得你应该做些更有意义的事吗
Don’t you think you were meant to do something more?
不 不是的 纽金特夫人
No, no, no, no, Mrs. Nugent.
这没有什么不好的
It isn’t bad at all.
我参与其中时 他们的灵魂已经与主同在了
Their souls are already with the Lord by the time I’m involved.
这就是我服务大众的方式
It’s just my way to serve
向他们的一生表达敬意
and show respect for the lives they led
并且抚慰他们身后那些
and comfort all the loved ones
深爱之人
that they leave behind.
好吧
Well.
如果我够幸运的话 有一天 许多年以后
And some day, if I’m lucky, many many years from now,
我也能给您办一场这么棒的葬礼
I will give you such a beautiful funeral
用上东德克萨斯的所有玫瑰花
with all the roses in East Texas.
到时候肯定会是迦太基镇当季的盛事
I know it’ll be the event of the season in Carthage.
说实话 我认为是伯尼
You know, I think that Bernie was the one
让玛乔丽在丈夫死后 重返教堂
that got Marjorie back to church after her husband died.
我记得圣经上说
Well, I know the Bible says
耶稣变水为酒
Jesus turned water into wine,
但书上没说是酒铺里的酒
but it didn’t say liquor store wine.
肯定是不含酒精的酒
It had to have been non-alcoholic wine,
因为没时间发酵
because it didn’t have time to ferment.
如果耶稣能够在水面行走
If Jesus could walk on the water,
那么他就能变出任何一种他想要的酒
he could make any kind of wine he wanted to.
不管是发酵的还是没发酵的
Fermented or not.
而且立刻就行
Right on the spot.
早安 女士们
Morning, ladies.
抱歉打扰一下
Sorry to interrupt.
玛乔丽女士 很高兴您今天早上能来
Mrs. Marjorie, it is so good to have you with us this morning.
我就是想跟大家透露个消息
I just want to put a bug in your ear now.
你们好多人都知道 我们有望
Many of you know we’re hoping to
不久就开始建造新的祷告室
start construction on our new prayer wing soon.
我希望你们中有人
Well, I’m hoping I can count on a few of you
加入资金筹备委员会 好吗
to join the fundraising committee. Okay?
考虑一下吧 上帝保佑你
Think about it, now. God bless you.
这是我信 这是我歌♥
This is my story This is my song
赞美我主 心欢畅
Praising my savior All the day long
这是我信 这是我歌♥
This is my story This is my song
赞美我主 昼夜不分
Praising my savior All the day long
完全顺服 我灵欢喜
Perfect submission Perfect delight
天堂荣耀 显于我心
Visions of rapture Now burst on my sight
圣洁天使 从天降临
Angels descending Bring from above
显现主慈 撒播主爱
Echoes of mercy Whispers of love
这是我信 这是我歌♥
This is my story This is my song
赞美我主 心欢畅
Praising my savior All the day long
不 咱们还是坐我的车吧
Uh-uh, no, we’ll take my car.
不 还是我的吧
No, I insist.
别傻了 伯尼
Don’t be silly, Bernie.
好吧 周六下午见
Good, I’ll see you Saturday afternoon.
我…我也很期待
I’m… I’m looking forward to it, too.
好吧 纽金特夫人 再见
Okay, Mrs. Nugent, bye.
真是好人
Oh, so sweet.
刚刚就是伯尼·提德 殡仪副总监
That was Bernie Tiede, the assistant funeral director.
他人很好 很关心我
He’s very sweet and very nice to me.
50多年来 没人对我这么好过
Can’t think of anyone who’s been that nice to me in 50 years.
好了 你
Now, you!
现在给你两分钟时间 给我解释清楚这些账
You’ve got two minutes to explain these accounts to me.
要不三分钟之后
Or three minutes from now
我可能要换一个股票经纪人了
I just might get myself another stockbroker.
我能全部解释清楚 玛乔丽女士
I can explain everything, Miss Marjorie.
就是一个简单的
It’s a very simple case of them
变更会计报表的情况
changing their accounting statements.
他们修改了格式 格式被变更到
They changed their formatting, it’s re-formatted…
另外一种格式
in a different format.
听着
Hey, listen.
我禁不住听到了你刚才的电♥话♥
I couldn’t help but hear the end of that conversation.
我得说 伯尼
I gotta tell you, Bernie,
你绝对是镇上最勇敢的人
you have got to be about the bravest man in this town.
她并不像大家说得那么刻薄
She isn’t all that mean like everyone says.
你确定吗
Now you sure about that?
她一个亲人也没有了 唐
Well, she doesn’t have anyone, Don.
她很寂寞 需要人陪
She’s a very lonely person. She needs someone.
我求她这周六陪我
I’ve asked her to accompany me this Saturday
去看沃斯堡市范·克莱本的钢琴比赛
to the Van Clyburn Piano Competition in Fort Worth.
玩得愉快
Well, have fun.
她不是镇上最富有的寡妇么
Ain’t like she’s the richest widow in town.
或许她会包揽一切开销的
Hell, maybe she’ll even pay for everything.
-唐 -还有
– Don! – Hey…
如果她真提议包揽一切花销
And if she does offer to pay for everything,
点上几瓶培里侬香槟王
order up a couple of their bottles of Dom Perignon.
把她灌醉了
You get her liquored up,
你的好运就来了
You might get lucky.
别说了 唐
No, Don!
他发自内心地相信
He sincerely believed that…
给予比接受好
it was better to give than to receive.
伯尼不善于理财
Well, Bernie had a problem with money.
他很慷慨 一些人说他过分慷慨
He was generous. Some folks say overly generous.
他确实是个购物狂
What he was was a buy-aholic.
知道不 他每到一家商店
And, uh… hell, he’d walk into a store,
看见有喜欢的东西
seen something he liked,
就会全部买♥♥回来
he’d buy the store out of every goddamn item he wanted
然后再送人
and give the shit away.
这真是太疯狂了
And that’s crazy.
不过伯尼就是喜欢逗人们开心
But that Bernie, he liked to make people smile.
他想要交朋友
He wanted friends.
也就是所谓的被人接受吧
Acceptance, I guess, is what you call it.
伯尼是个万事通
And Bernie could do just about anything.
他帮人糊墙纸
I mean, he could hang wallpaper in people’s houses,
我可从来没见有谁这么做过
and I’ve never seen any man do this,
还给大家做窗帘
but he could make curtains for people
还是商会中
and he was the head honcho
圣诞装饰委员会的
for the Chamber of Commerce
一把手
Christmas decorating committee.
这在迦太基也算是个很重要的职位了
That’s a big thing in Carthage, too, a big thing.
伯尼非常聪明
Bernie was really smart.
他曾帮别人做纳税申报单
He helped people do their tax returns, you know,
提供财务咨♥询♥
financial counseling…
你为工作花了钱
Anything that you pay for on the job
而石油公♥司♥并没有给你报销
that the company, the oil company
这些钱就是免税的
doesn’t reimburse you for, that’s a tax deduction.
比如说 托比 这些工装
So, for instance, Toby, these work coveralls,
公♥司♥付给你钱了吗
did the company provide you with these?
没有 我们自己买♥♥的
No, we got to buy our own.
对了 这就是税收减免的部分
Bingo. That is a tax deduction.
还有你的午餐桶
And how about your lunch buckets
你的安全靴呢 他们付钱了吗
and your steel toe workboots, they give you those?