I’m having a child.
和别人吗
With another person?
对 和别人
Yes, with another person.
等下 怎么回事
Wait, what?
抱歉 什么…
Sorry. What…?
说什么呢 和谁
What the fuck? With who?
你见过她 几天前在书店
You met her, actually, the other day at the bookstore.
可这说不通啊 才过去两周
But that’s not even physically possible. That was two weeks ago.
是啊
Yeah.
事实上 我三个月前就和她上♥床♥了
Truth is, I slept with her like three months ago.
该死 好吧
Shit. Okay.
我都不知道
Well, I didn’t know about that,
不过现在不重要了
but that’s not important right now. Okay.
你需要我做些什么呢
What do you need me to do?
不 你什么都不用管
Oh, no. You don’t have to do anything.
我真的想和她好下去
I really wanna make it work with her.
失陪一下
Excuse me one second.
你好
Hello.
-有事吗 -我刚才在和你打招呼
– What? – I said, hello.
你好
Oh. Hi.
-你练得怎么样 -我练得怎么样
– How’s your practice? – How’s my practice?
-挺好的 -我帮你拿瑜伽垫
– It’s fine. – I’ll get that mat for you.
-谢谢 -我见你常来这儿
– Thanks. – I see you here a lot.
你的勇士二式很到位
You’ve got a great Warrior 2.
四柱式做得稳极了
Your Chaturanga is, like, incredibly balanced.
我还在练那个姿势 你是单身吗
I’m still working that position, but are you single?
你这是在勾搭我吗
Are you really doing this right now?
看来是了
You’re really doing this right now.
我是在勾搭
I know. I’m doing it.
我斗胆一试 我不是故意的
I’m gonna go for it right now. I don’t do this.
而是情不自禁 我要…
It’s just happening. I’m gonna…
-抓住时机 -我正在尝试
– Gonna jump right in there. – I’m jumping in.
搭讪专家
Captain Conversation.
你… 我是保罗 握个手吧
Do you… hey, I’m Paul. Put it there.
-西莱斯特 -西莱斯特
– Celeste. – Celeste.
好名字 这是我的名片
That’s a great name. Ok, so here’s my card.
这是我的号♥码 电邮 传真也行
That’s my number, e-mail. If you need to fax me.
你练瑜伽还带名片
You bring cards to yoga?
你好吗 过来吧
Hi. How are you? Come on in.
今天练得全身舒畅
Great flow today.
我不是很擅长这个 给个面子呗
I’m not good at this. Little help?
金融分♥析♥师 厉害
Financial analyst. Cool.
没有 也没多厉害 还好吧
Not really. It’s not that cool. It’s all right.
-你告诉过我你的工作吗 -没有
– Did you tell me what you did for a living? – No, I didn’t.
你是做什么工作的 我想知道
Well, will you? I’d love to know.
我是时尚预测师 预测潮流趋势的
I’m a trend forecaster. I forecast trends.
时尚预测师 是嘛
Trend forecaster. Yeah.
你没开玩笑啊 我以为你刚是逗我的
You serious? I thought you were fucking with me.
你卖♥♥了保时捷 换购了奥迪
You traded in your Porsche for an Audi
因为你怕将来失去工作
because you’re afraid you’ll lose your job.
你买♥♥安卓手♥机♥
You bought a Droid cellphone
是觉得它能衬托你的商务气质
because you think it makes you seem business-oriented,
不像苹果手♥机♥ 都是小姑娘玩的
unlike the iPhone, which is for teenage girls.
你练瑜伽是因为你毕业于准常青藤盟校
You go to yoga because you went to a sub-lvy League school.
过去的十年里你一直埋头加班
You spent the last 10 years working long hours,
周末还得应酬
drinking on weekend.
你觉得是该丰富一下精神生活了
You thought it was time to do something spiritual.
幸会 保罗
It was nice to meet you, Paul.
早上纽约打那边来电♥话♥时你在哪儿
Where were you on the New York call this morning?
我以为你能处理好
Oh. I figured you could handle it.
是的 好吧 柏林的艺术品到了
Yeah. Well, anyway, the artwork came in from Berlin.
-这很好 但… -爆♥炸♥性新闻
– It’s good, but it… – Breaking news.
杰西和某个女孩有了孩子
Jesse is having a baby with some girl.
你知道他和别人约会吗
Did you even know he was seeing someone?
不知道 几个月前他和别人睡了一觉
No, it’s somebody he slept with once months ago.
现在嚷嚷着要认真♥相♥处 玩大了
Now he’s gonna try to “Make it work.” Plane crash.
我也不知道说什么了
I don’t even know what to say.
很抱歉 西莱斯特 你还好吗
I’m so sorry, Celeste. Are you Okay?
斯科特 我很好 真的
Scott, I’m totally fine. Yes.
-是吗 -是的
– Are you? – Yes.
我又不会给他生孩子
I wasn’t gonna have his baby,
所以这对他而言很好
so good for him.
好吧
Ok.
我再也不爱他了 这样就好办多了
I’m not in love with him anymore. Actually it makes it easier.
-事实上 我今晚有个约会 -好啊
– You know, I have a date tonight, actually. – That’s great.
出去约会并受人喜爱的感觉不错
Feel like it might be nice to go out and be admired.
同意 去爱个够吧
I agree. Go be admired.
谁知道呢 你难得也会装得跟真情流露似的
Who knows? You may actually simulate human emotion.
-谢谢 -谢谢
– Thank you. – Thank you.
实际上我的脚内翻
My foot actually pronates,
跑的时候髂胫束抻得特别疼
so my IT-band is strained when I run, which is painful.
这方面的专家
The foot specialist
专门给我定做了矫正器
made me these really great customized orthotics.
跟我脚型完全吻合
They shape around my foot.
跑的时候感觉好多了
They make it so much better when I running.
这种感觉难以言表
I cannot explain how amazing it feels.
事实上 我是一名…
Well, actually, I’m one of those people who…
天啊 天啊 我的前任在这儿
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My ex is here.
他看到我了
Oh, we made eye contact.
好吧 没准他没看见我
Alright, maybe he didn’t see me.
应该没有 没事了
I think it’s, it’s Okay.
-不 他看见我了 -没事
– Nope, he saw me. He saw me. – It’s Okay.
他现在朝这边来了 你该走了
Oh. He’s coming over here now. Know what? You should leave.
-什么 -你该走了
– What? – Yeah, you should go.
-我不走 -你最好走
– I’m not gonna leave. – It would be better.
-晚了他来了 你好
– It’s too late because he’s here now. -Hey.
-你好 最近怎么样 -挺好的
– Hey. How’s it going? – Good.
自我介绍一下 我是杰西
Thought I’d say hi. I’m Jesse.
那是麦克
That’s Mac.
-是麦克斯 -麦特
– Uh, it’s Max. – Matt.
-不 是麦克斯 -好吧
– Nope, Max. – Nice. Cool.
我们在吃饭 我在约会
We’re just eating. I’m on a date.
我们在约会 我约会呢
We’re on a date. I’m dating.
好啊 秘制意面是这里的招牌菜
Oh, cool. The puttanesca special is the bomb here.
-好极了 我就点的这道菜 -好的
– Oh, good news. That’s what I ordered. – Nice. Cool.
你和谁来的
Who are you here with?
就我自己 来看湖人队比赛的
Oh, I’m just rolling solo, watching the Lakers game.
-是科比对勒布朗吧 -没错
– It’s Kobe-LeBron, right? – Yes.
-太激动了 -是啊 哥们 大赛事
– So psyched. – Yeah, man, epic.
-录下来了 -那就好
– TiVo’d it. – Nice. Cool.
-幸会 -幸会
– Well, very nice to meet you. – Nice to meet you.
赛 很高兴见面 祝愉快
C, good to see you. Have fun.
他人不错
He’s cool.
-谢谢 -谢谢
– Thank you. – Thank you.
-你没事吧 -什么 没事
– Are you Okay? – What? Oh, nothing.
你爱吃面包吗
Do you like bread?
真好吃 我们改天再约吧
Ah. That was great. Should we do it again?
周三 去吃寿司吧
Wednesday? Sushi?
我想我们没必要再约会了
I don’t think we should.
因为汞中毒吗
Because of the mercury poisoning?
我的针灸师说那都是假的
My acupuncturist said that’s a total myth.
不是 我是觉得
No. I think that,
你还需要些时间
I think you could use a little more time
从离婚的阴霾中走出来
to get over your divorce.
你看 我也是离婚后好久
I mean, look, it took me a long time
才开始约会的 我理解你
to start dating after mine. I get it.
感谢你的体贴 不过我没事
Heh. I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.
我想我们还是不合适 所以…
I guess you’re just not a match for me, so…
好吧
Yeah. Well, um…
晚安
Have a good night.
谢谢 好吧 祝你好运

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