疯狂店员2（2006）

你告诉我有哪个33岁的女人
You show me one
33-year-old chick
在床上
who’s as buck-wild in bed
会像17岁少女一样狂野？
as her 17-year-old
counterpart.
现在的17岁少女了不得
17-year-olds
nowadays are crazy.
什么事情都愿意干
They’re up for anything.
就算你要玩“ATM”她们也毫不含糊
（直接从肛♥门♥出来进嘴而不擦洗）
They even like it when
you go ass to mouth.
我的老天
Oh… my… God.
什么？
What?
你说真的吗？
Are you serious?
“ATM”的事情我可不会开玩笑
I don’t fuck around when
it comes to ass to mouth.
怎么能那么恶心呢
DANTE:
You never go ass to mouth.
不是我要的
It’s never my idea.
那些年轻小妞可淫♥荡♥了
These young girls today
get all horned up,
她们会要你“ATM”
and they tell you
to go ass to mouth.
不能那么做 蓝道！
You never go
ass to mouth, Randal!
你跟我妈似的
You sound like my mom.
贝琪 你有没有搞过“ATM”？
Becks, do you ever
go ass to mouth?
从来没有
You never go ass to mouth.
从来没有过吗？
You’ve never gone ass to mouth?
不能搞“ATM”
You never go ass to mouth.
我从来没搞过“ATM”
I’ve never gone ass to mouth.
一次都没有？
Not even once?
一次都没有
Not even ever.
你俩都太压抑了
You’re both so repressed.
好吧
All right, look,
我晓得你给人吹过箫 是吗？
I know you’ve given
a blow job, right?
我包都还没放下呢
I haven’t even put
my purse down yet.
这就是有了
That’s a yes.
我也晓得你给女人品过玉
And I know you’ve
gone down on chicks.
你要说什么？
What’s your point?
呃
Well,
当你把嘴巴放下爱人下面的时候
when you’re done chowing down
on the no-no parts
你吻过他 是吗？
of your lover,
you kiss him, right?
那个跟“ATM”就是一样的
That’s just like going
ass to mouth.
你把阴♥道♥比做肛♥门♥
Okay, I’m pretty sure you just
compared a vagina to an asshole.
怎么？
(chuckles):
And?
你有没有把纸巾架装满了？
Have you restocked
all the napkin holders yet?
那是伊赖亚斯的事
That’s an Elias job.
你刚才的那个类比
That comparison
of pink and brown eyes
让这工作变成你的了
just made it a Randal job.
哈！
ELIAS:
Zing!
闭嘴 机器人
Shut the fuck up, GoBot.
我可以起诉公♥司♥对我性骚扰
I could probably sue
this whole corporation right now
for sexual harassment.
因为我坚决赞成“ATM”
You’re just making me
restock the napkin holders
你就让我装纸巾
because of my firmly held
beliefs
on the subject of ass to mouth.
不能搞“ATM”！
You never go ass to mouth!
你怎么还不长大？
Would you grow up?
好吧 咱们是朋友
(quietly): All right,
I’m gonna tell you this
我就告诉你…
’cause we’re friends…
有时候在兴致来了的时候
but sometimes,
in the heat of the moment,
“ATM”也是可以原谅的
it’s forgivable
to go ass to mouth.
(Randal chuckles)
我就晓得
I knew it.
(disgusted groan)
我太闷了！
I’m fuckir bored, man!
再这样下去我就要再吸上了
And boredom’s the first step
on the road to relapse.
(“Goodbye Horses”playing)
Oh!
# #
你要干我吗？
Would you fuck me?
我愿意干我自己
I’d fuck me.
我愿意使劲干我自己
I’d fuck me hard.
# Ooh, ooh… ooh, ooh… #
(long sigh)
(“Goodbye Horses”plays
faintly from outside)
该死
Shit.
你好啊 史考特小姐
Well, hello, Miss Scott.
哈 逃跑艺术家来了
Well, here he is,
the escape artist.
我还没走呢
I’m not gone yet.
拜托 你上个月一直都不在
Please. You’ve been
gone for the last month.
你们什么时候走？
When do you guys leave?
明天一早开车出发
Well, we start driving
tomorrow morning.
我在日历上给你留了我的收信地址
Oh, uh, I left you
the forwarding address
你把我的最后薪酬寄给我
for my last check
on the calendar there.
没错
So you did.
那是她们家父母的地址吧？
That’s her parents’s house,
right?
是的 但结婚后就搬出去住了
Yes, but only until the wedding.
据我所知
And then, from what I hear,
她父母打算给我们一套房♥子
her parents
are giving us a house.
不错啊！
Nice!
看来现在又流行给嫁妆了
So I guess dowries
are making a comeback.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
她爸爸还另外给了我们
两头肥牛和一只羊
Her dad sweetened the pot
with two fatted calves
and a goat.
(laughs)
我会想你的 希克斯
I’m gonna miss you, Hicks.
我也会想你的
Yeah, I’m gonna miss you, too.
我还是不敢相信
I still can’t believe
你居然把我一个人留在这里…
you’re just gonna leave
me alone in this place…
面对跟蓝道·葛雷夫斯等人
with Randal Graves,
of all people.
辞工啊
Quit.
去佛州
Move to Florida.
来我的洗车店工作
You could work
at the car wash with me.
太诱人了
Wow, you make it
sound so tempting.
我怎么忍♥心拒绝呢？
How can I say no?
是啊… 佛州的洗车店
真了不起啊
Oh, yeah… ’cause it’s a
fucking car wash in Florida.
难道比这个地方还糟糕吗？
Like it’s any worse
than this place.
好啊 你继续说这些恶心人的话吧
Hurl the insults
all you want, buddy man.
等我叔叔病好了以后
As soon as my uncle’s
on his feet again,
我才不会呆在这里呢
it’s not like I’m
gonna be staying here.
– 嘿 他现在怎么样了？
– 好多了
– Hey, how’s he doing?
– A lot better.
治疗了两年 长♥期♥的化疗
It only took two years
and a shitload of chemo,
… 但他的红细胞指数恢复了正常
but… his red cell count’s
almost back to normal.
太好了
That’s great.
是啊 对我来说也是好消息
Yeah, it’s great for me, too.
本来是说暂时帮忙几个礼拜的
Couple of weeks
in this crap shack
居然一晃就是两年多