疯狂店员2（2006）

这哼哼唧唧的小子
真♥他♥妈♥是个怪胎
What the fuck kind
of songbird Jesus-freak dealer
你怎么带我来找他买♥♥货？
did you bring me to?
我喜欢他们 他们很有趣
(laughs): I like them, man.
They’re funny.
他们是他妈的蠢货
They’re fuckir stupid.
你们应该多读圣经 先生们
You should read your Bible,
sirs.
那里面什么怪事都有
You’ll find all types
of weird shit in there.
你们晓得不晓得耶酥是个犹太人？
Like, did you know
Jesus was a Jew?
晓得
Yeah.
(chuckles)
给我拿两个鸡蛋松饼
I need two Egga-Mooby Muffins,
还有马铃薯煎饼快没了
and we’re almost out
of hash browns.
等等
Hold on.
就现在 蓝道！
Now, Randal!
(chuckling)
你在那边写什么呢
What are you writing
over there, anyway,
写回忆录吗？
your memoirs?
我在干架呢
I’m battling
跟一个杂碎在他的部落格上干架
this jackass
on his blog’s message board.
干的什么架？
About what?
我说他时间太多 活得没有意义
On how he’s got
too much free time and no life.
跟他干架的人也是如此
So does the guy who’s
flaming him on his Web site.
这家伙太让我生气了 我受不了
I can’t help it.
The guy pisses me off.
那鸟人坐在轮椅上
It’s this fuck in a wheelchair
整天强求别人的同情
that’s always preying
on everyone’s sympathies,
写些长长的谩骂文章
抱怨自己再也无法走路了
writing these long diatribes
about how he’ll never walk again
而那些能够用腿走路的人
and how walkers should
appreciate the blessings
应该学会珍惜
of their functioning legs.
你说的所谓“谩骂”
That diatribe, as you call it,
似乎仅仅是个可怜的残疾人
sounds like
some poor crippled guy
在倾吐内心的感受
pouring out his heart
and feelings.
哦 去他妈的
Oh, fuck him, man.
他自己是个瘸子 我有两条好腿
我就应该觉得有罪吗？
Trying to guilt me
into walking around more
because he’s all gimped out?
这是他妈的什么思维方式啊？
What kind of mind-fuck
is that shit?
所以我咬住他不放
So I’ve been getting
into it with him,
狠狠回击这瘸小子
throwing it back
in his stupid crippy-boy face
我说我有多喜欢坐着
about how I love
to just sit around
走几十步就到的地方
我宁愿开车也不愿意走
and how I’d rather drive to
the end of the block than walk.
他是坐轮椅的
The guy’s in a wheelchair.
是啊 所以我才叫他瘸小子
Yeah. That’s why
I called him crippy-boy.
慢用
Have a good one.
你这该死的怪物
You fuckir freak.
(door buzzer moos)
我都不打算指出讽刺的地方
I’m not even gonna point out
the irony here.
你搞什么啊？
What’s the matter with you?
我又怎么了？
What’d I do now?
他不过是个瘸子 感到与世隔绝
There’s a crippled guy
who found a way
所以用自己的方式说出内心感受
to reach out to a world
he feels isolated from,
你却想方设法跟他较劲
and you somehow found a
way to take issue with him.
你倒站在他那边了
Sure, take his side.
你是不是觉得苦大仇深
Have you become so embittered
以至于要找个残疾人发泄？
that you now feel the need
to attack the handicapped?
什么残疾啊？
What handicap?
那家伙不过是坐轮椅罢了
The guy’s
just in a wheelchair.
他再苦会苦得过安妮·法兰克?
It’s not like
he’s Anne Frank or something.
安妮·法兰克？
Anne Frank?
是啊安妮·法兰克
一个女的 她那什么了…
Yeah, Anne Frank,
the chick that was all…
(moaning)
…直到“奇迹缔造者”出现
…till the miracle worker
showed up
她才稍微懂点事
and knocked
some smarts into her.
你说的是
(snickers):
You’re talking
海伦·凯勒
about Helen Keller.
不 不是的
我说的是安妮·法兰克
No, I’m not.
I’m talking about Anne Frank.
她又聋 又哑 又瞎
She was deaf, dumb and blind.
她才不是呢
No, she wasrt.
海伦·凯勒才是又聋 又哑 又瞎
Helen Keller was
deaf, dumb and blind.
真的吗？
Are you sure?
嗯
Yup.
那安妮·法兰克又他妈是谁？
Then who the fuck’s Anne Frank?
安妮·法兰克是个犹太小女孩
Anne Frank’s
the little Jewish girl
她藏身于家中的一个密室
who hid from the Nazis
以躲避纳粹的残害
in a secret room
with her family.
她写了本日记
She wrote a diary.
对哦
Oh, yeah.
我猜那家伙就像安妮·法兰克
Well, then, I guess
this guy is like Anne Frank,
他也写日记什么的
what with the diary, you know?
不 她像海伦·凯勒
因为他也是残疾人 混♥蛋♥！
No, he’s like Helen Keller
with the handicap, you jerk!
你每次都要正确 是吗？
(computer beeping)
You always got to be right,
don’t you?
你这个纳粹贱♥货♥
You Nazi douche bag.
什么 你要什么？
What? What do you want?
早晨不供应大牛堡
No, we don’t serve Cow Tippers
in the morning.
可以换法式烤面包
Freedom Toast is a possibility.
# #
哦 我们真的很喜欢
Oh, we totally do.
(scoffs)
好了 一共12.6♥4♥美元
All right, that’ll be $12.6♥4♥.
(door moos electronically)
(gasps)
(sighs)
别看了 变♥态♥
Avert your eyes, you perv.
我不过是要说
That’s not very hygienic.
这样不太卫生
That’s all I’m gonna tell you.
(door moos electronically)
艾玛 你为什么要这么做
Emma, are you like this
是因为你有硕大无比的阴蒂吗？
’cause you have an
unnaturally large clit?
(sighs)
你什么事都跟他说吗？
You just had to tell him,
didn’t you?
我说漏嘴了
It kind of came out one day.
他说你阴蒂非常大
He says it’s so big,
跟个小老二似的…
it’s almost like
a little cock…
而他竟然还喜欢
which says all kinds
of weird things about him
原因我想都不敢想
that I don’t even want
to think about.
你难道不喜欢阴蒂大的女孩吗？
You wouldn’t want
to be with a girl
with an oversized clit?
不喜欢 再大一点
就赶上老二小的男人了
No, ’cause the next stop is
a guy with an undersized dick.
(door moos electronically)
# #
你下面小帐篷支起来
You’re a little hard.
因为你贴得太紧了