如何死亡：西蒙的抉择（2016）

– Really? – 21 people.
这是我们见过陪同人数最多的一次
That was the most… the highest number that we ever had.
我会打破这个记录的
感觉十分温馨
And it was so nice…
我会有22个人
你要按自己的想法来
You must do it your way.
11月2日
是我的生日
-你希望在生日那天去世吗 -是
– You would like to die on your birthday? – Yeah.
我有点担心
I’m a little bit afraid
你太执着于要选在生日当天
that you hang on to your birthday so strongly
会让你不愿意延期
that you are not willing to postpone it.
如果十月底 你的身体和现在一样好
If you were as well as you are now on the end of October,
你愿意推迟吗
would you postpone it?
-身体状况完全一样 -愿意
– If you were exactly like you are now? – Yes.
-你会推迟吗 -会的
– Then you would postpone it? – Yes.
我需要知道这一点
For me, it is important to know this.
我不希望你走得太匆匆
I do not want you to go too early.
我想预约一下
11月2日吗
The 2nd November?
你可以接受安乐死 这是肯定的
You are welcome to have an assisted dying, for sure.
你就喜欢让我遭罪
The things you bloody put me through.
日期定下来之后我松了口气
安心了很多
现在我对11月2日十分满意
我觉得我们向前迈了一步
但还需要继续努力
没错
这个决定非常重大
It is a big step to take, isn’t it?
而他选择在生日当天进行
And he is doing it on his birthday.
-你会去吗 -会去
– Are you going to go, too? – Yes. I am.
他出生的时候我就在场
I was there when he was born.
我不鼓励他这样做
I don’t encourage him,
但我会支持他做的一切决定
but I will go along with whatever he wants.
只要他活得还开心 就不会选择离开
He will stay as long as he’s enjoying himself, won’t he?
大概吧
I think.
我不知道有没有人去了瑞士
I don’t know if anybody ever does go to Switzerland
又回家了 改变了主意
and come home, change their mind.
不知道会不会有 你知道吗
I don’t know if they’ve ever done. Do you?
新消息 来自西蒙·宾纳
给大学同学们的短♥信♥
Text message to College Boys.
我预约了11月2日周一的安乐死
I am booked to die now on Monday, 2nd November.
感谢你们为了我 将基♥督♥学院年度聚会提前举♥行♥
Thank you for bringing the annual Christ College reunion forwards on my account.
39年了
39 years now.
某种程度上我们就像亲兄弟
In a way, we’re like brothers.
他是最幽默的
He was the funny one,
总是逗我们笑
he always made us laugh.
我们经常一起大笑
We have always laughed a lot.
宾纳的笑话是我听过最好笑的
Binner told the best jokes that I’d ever heard.
我们一起干过不少傻事
We used to do ludicrous things.
我跟宾纳曾经试过72小时不睡觉
Binner and I used to try and not go to bed for 72 hours.
当时就整日整夜地熬着不睡
So, we would stay up for days and nights
想产生幻觉
cos we’d try and hallucinate.
世事难料
Nothing was predictable.
有时候出去玩
There was some holiday
一路上他会与同行乘客攀谈
where he managed to tell people all the way through,
因为一些莫名的缘由
for some bizarre reason,
他会说自己是葬礼策划人
that he was a funeral director,
而且会一直假扮这个身份两周甚至更久
and maintained this fiction for two weeks or something.
我是个坏小子
-干杯 -致敬
– Salut! – Salute!
好好喝一个
Get it right, man!
干杯 是干杯还是致敬
Salut! Is it salut or salute?
我们其实都很悲痛
We are actually all feeling distraught, you know?
这么多年了 我们之间的友谊非常深厚
We have sustained a very close set of friendships all this time
安迪·英格拉姆 = 杰里米·科尔宾[反对党领袖]
他是这个圈子的核心
and he is utterly central to our group.
我可能比其他人更多愁善感
I know I am probably more sentimental than many other people,
前几个月
and I have cried every time I’ve seen him
我每次见他都会哭
for the last few months!
上周六我见他的时候 嚎啕大哭
So, I saw him last Saturday, I cried pathetically.
这次来聚会的一些人
Some of these people here,
可能是最后一次跟他见面了
this will be the last time they see him.
很高兴能再次见到你
Really good to see you.
我当时真的很震惊
I was sort of shocked and surprised
听西蒙说他已经定好了日期去…
to know that Simon had set a date for his…
该怎么说呢 是叫安乐死吗
What’s the appropriate term? Assisted suicide?
他似乎选择了提前离开这个世界
He seems to be checking out ahead of his time.
我对他的决定并不是很满意
And I am not entirely comfortable with his decision.
我们都很难过
We’re all crushed.
谁都无法接受
How can one be reconciled to someone
这么好的人 却在58岁时远赴异国他乡
who is so great taking themselves off at the age of 58
选择自我了结
and killing themselves?
我觉得他定的日期太早了
I think he’s chosen a date which is too soon.
发件人：西蒙·桑德伯格
收件人：西蒙·宾纳
宾纳 我知道你意已决
Bins, I know you feel strongly about it
但我真的认为提前安排死亡时间
But I do feel that setting a date in advance is
会间接带来很多问题
potentially deeply problematic.
黛比对你安排的日期充满了不安
Debs has real Qualms about you choosing the date in advance
这也让我很担忧
and that worries me, too.
黛比有权参与你的决定
Debbie has rights in this.
决定去瑞士安乐死
Taking yourself off to Switzerland
某种程度上可以算是自私
could be seen as selfish.
宾纳比较强势
Binner is very forceful,
但他也很讲理
but he is arguable-with.
如果黛比很强硬地说
If Debbie was more resolute in saying,
宾纳 不行 不能这样
Binnie, no, you can’t do this,
我不允许你这么做
I forbid you from doing it.
这样事情可能会变得 更加困难
That would make it a much more difficult matter for all of us.
九月
下周会有看护来帮我洗澡和穿衣服
太讨厌了 很丢脸 很无助
最重要的是 不像个男人
他的性格也在变化
He is changing as a person.
我能感觉到 他渐渐流露出的疏离
I sense his, kind of, creeping isolation.
我帮他做的事越来越多
I am doing more and more,
他也因此越来越暴躁 但是…
which he gets increasingly cross about, but…
连想象一下我都烦得很
我不喜欢他觉得因为自己生了病
I hate the fact that he thinks because he has an illness,
就好像不该继续活着一样
he is somehow less worthy of being able to live,
不该享受生活 没有继续活下去的权利
enjoy things and have the right to stay alive.
我完全没有觉得他是累赘
I feel very, very strongly that he is not a burden.
生活中的琐事能让他开心一点
It’s those little practical things that can help.
拉尔夫每天要出去遛两次
Ralph needs to be walked twice a day.
麦克
西蒙的朋友
他现在不能遛拉尔夫了
He can’t walk Ralph now.
山地骑行
-什么 -山地骑行
– What? – Mountain biking.
山地骑行
Mountain biking.
-“憨豆旅行” -不是 山地
– “Moneymaking”? – No! Mountain!
骑行…
Biking…
知道了 山地骑行
Oh, yes, mountain biking.
三个月前
So, I mean, three months ago,
不到三个月前吧 我跟宾纳
less than three months ago, Bins and I
还去在意大利阿尔卑斯山上骑自行车了
were cycling in the Italian Alps, cycling up mountains.
病情恶化的速度已经加快
The speed of change, it’s accelerated.
一切都在快进
We are all in fast-forward at the moment,
哪怕你试着去拖延时间
and you want to try and stall it,
试着去抓住每一分每一秒
you want to try and capture every moment.
也是徒劳
And you can’t.
你对他定的日期什么看法
How are you feeling about the November date?
我感到非常恐惧
I am dreading it.
某种程度上来说 我不愿相信
And I am disbelieving it, in a way,
我不想承认它的存在
I don’t want to believe it,
因为…
because that’s…
可能不只是我这样 但我是这么想的
I’m probably not the only one, that’s my way of coping.
我今天过来的路上
As I was coming over here today,
想了想还剩多少天
I was figuring out how many days left, you know,
还剩几周
how many weeks left.
然后发现…
And it’s… And it’s…
时间过得太快了