癌细胞已经进入了安迪的肺部…
The cancer started in Andy’s lungs…
扩展到他的左臂
and spread to his left arm.
我们采取了侵略性的放射治疗
We’ve initiated an aggressive radiation program.
– 看看是否能够根除受感染的细胞 – 沙利文医生 一线有电♥话♥找
– See if we can eradicate the affected cells. – Dr. Sullivan, line one.
对不起,失陪一会儿
Excuse me. I’ll be right back.
胡说八道
What a crock.
你怎么能轻视呢?
How dare you make light of this?
当我看到他的坏脖子时 我哭了,他再也不能感动我了
I cried when he broke his neck. He’s not getting me again.
天哪,卡罗尔,他得了癌症
Jesus Christ, Carol, he’s got lung cancer.
他想让我们焦头烂耳
He wants us scratching our heads,
问我们自己“这是真的吗?”
asking ourselves, “Is this real?”
当然是真的,我们在医院
Of course it ‘s real. We ‘re in a hospital.
妈妈,这是雪松医科学校
Mom, it ‘s Cedars-Sinai.
这是实习医院
It’s a show biz hospital.
安迪工作室的朋友 可能掌管这个地方
Andy’s studio friends, they probably run this place.
他策划了这些事, 并雇了演员
He plans these things. He takes over and hires actors.
我个人来讲, 医生的话没有说服力
Personally, I don’t think that doctor guy was very convincing.
– 他穿错了鞋 – 他穿的甚至不是医生鞋
– His costume had the wrong shoes. – Didn’t even have doctor shoes.
不,不,不,一派胡言
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That’s bullshit.
不要相信考夫曼的谎言 他骗了我们很多次
No more Kaufman stories. He’s burned us too many times.
可靠消息告诉我 他确实得了癌症
A very reliable source told me Andy Kaufman has lung cancer.
别说了,他不会死的
Oh, please. He’s definitely not dying.
现在大白细胞正在袭击癌细胞
Now those big white cells are attacking the cancer cells.
袭击
Attacking.
袭击
Attacking.
我看见了,我看见了白细胞
I see them. I see the white cells.
– 袭击 – 袭击
– Attacking. – Attacking.
– 袭击 – 袭击
– Attacking. – Attacking.
他是个演员
He’s an actor.
我从他服饰上认出来的
I-I recognize him from The In-Laws.
是啊
Yeah. That’s true.
他也是正个医学受命的
But he’s also ordained in holistic medicine.
Oh.
乔治,我应该怎么做?
George, what am I supposed to do?
我病了,我想好起来 可他们都以为我在开玩笑
I’m sick and I’m trying to get better, but everybody’s looking at me funny.
我好象被一种 负面情绪所包围着
I feel like I’m being surrounded by negative energy.
是你自己所造成的局面
You’re surrounded by what you create.
– 好笑 – 安迪,你是负面情绪的制♥造♥者
– Great. – Andy, you’re the king of negative energy.
– 这必须停止 – 安迪
– And it’s gotta stop. – Andy.
如果这些负面因素传出去
‘Cause if these negative vibes get out,
每个人都会谈论我有多严重
everybody’s gonna be talking about how sick I am,
变成了一种本身 自然会实现的预言
and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
我怎么帮你?
How can I help you?
我想回去工作
I wanna go back to work.
– 你想在俱乐部巡回演出? – 不,不是俱乐部
– You wanna tour the clubs? – No. No clubs.
我想到最上等的地方
I wanna reach the top.
卡内基音乐堂!
Carnegie Hall!
我想把这个演播间修建
I want this show to build and build.
我想让它成为 世上最大的演播间
I want it to be everything that’s joyful in the world piled one on top of the other,
直到观众坐不下 带着他们的孩子在我面前
until the audience can’t stand it and they turn into children right in front of me.
– 我甚至可以有圣诞老人 – 是
– I might even have Santa Claus. – Oh, yeah.
你可以说,今年圣诞节我有什么礼物?”
You can say, “Santa, what am I getting for Christmas this year?”
– 他说“癌症” – 不,那…
– And he says “Cancer.” – No, that…
不,那… 我不要那样做 那太糟糕了
No, that’s… I don’t wanna do that. That’s a bummer.
好,正经点,正经点,好…
Uh, okay, positive, positive. Okay…
看,这真的是…
Look, this is really, um, great…
– 圣诞老人和雪… – 是的
– Santa and snow and… – Yeah.
会化很多的钱
But it’s gonna cost a fortune.
别担心,没问题
That’s okay. Not a problem.
– 那么谁付钱呢,安迪? – 托尼·克利夫顿
– Well, who’s gonna pay for it, Andy? – Tony Clifton.
Oh.
安迪,你知道 托尼没那么多钱
Andy, you know, Tony doesn’t have that kind of money.
别担心,乔治
Don’t you worry about that, George.
我比你了解托尼 他再工作十年就可以付清了
I know Tony better than you do, and even if he has to work another ten years to pay it off,
他会的
he’ll do it.
Abu-dabi Abi-dabu-ah
Abu-dabi Abi-dabu-ah
Abi-dabi-dabu-eh
Abi-dabi-dabu-eh
– Abu-day – Abu-day
– A-ki-chay-wah – A-ki-chay-wah
– Yaken-bu-day – Yaken-bu-day
– Ichen-di-bich – Ichen-di-bich
Yaki-di-shika-tala- ga-bola-ga-deba-ga-dili- ga-bohhhhhhhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Abu-dabi Abi-dabu-ah
I got spurs that jingle-j angle-j ingle
As I go ridin’ merrily along
And they sing Oh, ain’t you glad you’re single
女士们,先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
这是个幸福的夜
we are so very fortunate tonight,
因为我们和…
because we have with us…
l931年出道电影界 现在仍健在的女牛仔一起共度今宵
the last surviving cowgirl from that 1931 film.
她今年94高寿
She’s 94 years young.
埃莉诺·科迪·古尔德
Eleanor Cody Gould.
– I got spurs that jingle-jangle-jingle
As I go ridin’ merrily along
你好,埃莉诺 你来这真是太好了 这是我们的荣幸
Hi, Eleanor. It’s great to have you here. It’s a real honor.
谢谢你,安迪 我很高兴来这 对我来说真是太激动了
Thank you, Andy. I’m delighted to be here. It’s overwhelming to me.
还有更好的事
Well, it ‘s gonna get even better,
因为我们从您的电影里找到了一匹原始马
because we found one of the old original hobby horses from your movie.
你能为我们表演一下吗
Do you think you could grace us with a couple of steps from “Jingle, Jangle, Jingle”?
– 好的… – 好,开始
– Oh, I don’t think… – Okay, hit it!
“Jingle, Jangle, Jingle
快点,来
Faster! Come on!
快点,快点
Faster! Faster!
快点,来
Faster! Come on!
快点!快点!快点!
Faster! Faster! Faster!
快点!
Faster!
Oh!
安迪,停下。安迪
Andy, stop! Andy!
现场有医生吗?音乐停下
Is there a doctor in the house? Stop the music!
我们需要医生
… Uh, we need a doctor.
有吗?请上来
Anyone? Please?
你可以叫我们叫救护车?
Can you call us an ambulance?
感谢上帝
Praise the Lord!
她活了,哈利路亚
She’s alive! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah
女士们,先生们
Ladies and gentlemen, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!
Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus
天啦
– Right down Santa Claus lane – Oh, my gosh!
简直不敢相信
– Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer – I can’t believe this!
太精彩了
It’s the Rockettes!
Are pulling on the reins
Bells are ringing Children singing
All is merry and bright
Hang your stocking and say your prayers
‘Cause Santa Claus comes tonight
孩子们,你们不会相信
– Here comes Santa Claus – Boys and girls, you’re not gonna believe this!
圣诞老人来了
Here comes Santa Claus!
He’s got a bag that’s filled with toys
For the boys and girls again
Hear those sleigh bells jingle-jangle
What a beautiful sight
Jump in bed Cover up your head
因为你们都是好孩子
Since you’ve all been such good boys and girls,
我要带所有的观众出去…
I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out…
喝牛奶吃点心
for milk and cookies!
外面有车 大家跟我来
There are buses outside! Everybody follow me!
别急,人人都有份
Don’t worry, folks! There’s enough milk and cookies for everyone!
我们走。我们走
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas!
现在我们要放上蓝色水晶
And now we’ll place the blue crystal.
有很高的振动
Very high vibrations,
对治疗…
and it’s wonderful, wonderful…
有神奇的疗效
for its healing powers.
好,我们试试两个
Okay. Let’s try two of those.
再试一个粉红的
And another pink one.
好的
All right.

Hah!
看起来象我的狗呕吐的东西
Looks like somethin’ my dog puked up.
我和美女出去吃顿饭怎么样?
How ’bout me and you dolls go out and get some real food?
当然
Sure.
炸薯条和上等腰肉排骨
French fries and a porterhouse steak.
或者我们不吃肉 直接去蒙太奇

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