过往人生（2023）

他知道怎麽玩？
He knows how?
他玩得可好了
He’s good.
他韩语也很好吗？
Is his Korean good, too?
不好
No.
只会说一点点
But he can say a few things.
是吗？
Oh, yeah?
他最爱吃的是辣牛肉汤
His favorite food is Yook-Gae-Jang.
辣牛肉汤？看来他很懂嘛
Yook-Gae-Jung? He’s not fucking around.
那当然
He’s not fucking around.
你和女朋友…
Do you and your girlfriend…
也吵架吗？
fight?
不啊
No.
她现在已经不能算我女朋友了
She’s not really my girlfriend right now.
你该结婚了
You should get married well.
你是在担心我妈？
You’re worrying about me?
你这样的理想主义者很难走入婚姻
Getting married is hard for idealistic people like you.
我还没那麽老 不用操心
Hey, I’m not so old that you should worry.
海成
Hae Sung. Hmm.
你当时为什麽要找我？
Why did you look for me?
-12年前？ -嗯
-12 years ago? -Hmm.
你真的想知道吗？
Do you really want to know?
我只是想再见你一面
I just wanted to see you one more time.
我也说不清
I don’t know.
你当时离开得太突然了…
Because you just left so suddenly…
我有点生气
I was a little pissed off.
对不起
Sorry.
有什麽好对不起的？
What are you sorry about?
对 没什麽好对不起的
You’re right. There’s nothing to be sorry about.
你突然从我的生活里消失了 然后…
You disappeared from my life, and I just bam…
我又突然找到你了
found you again.
你为什麽要这麽做？
Why would you do that?
不知道
I don’t know.
大概因为…
Just because…
我服兵役的时候会一直想起你
You kept entering my mind when I was in the military.
知道了
I see.
我们那时候都还小
We were babies then.
是啊
Right.
我们12年前重逢的时候
And when we met 12 years ago,
也还太小了
we were babies then, too.
我们现在已经长大了
We’re not babies anymore.
-嗨 -嗨 亲爱的
Hi. Hi, my love.
怎麽样？
How was it?
你说对了
You were right.
是吗？
I was?
嗯
Yeah.
他是来见我的
He came here to see me.
这感觉太不真实了 他变成了成年人
It’s so crazy to see him be this grown-up man
有正常的工作 正常的生活
with a normal job and a normal life.
太韩国了
He’s so Korean.
他还跟父母住在一起
He still lives with his parents
这也特别韩国
which is really Korean.
而且他的想法也很韩国
And he has all these really Korean views
所有想法
about everything.
跟他在一起的时候 我觉得自己不太像韩国人
And I feel so not Korean when I’m with him.
但同时
But also,
却好像变得更像韩国人了？
in some way, more Korean?
太奇怪了
It’s so weird.
我在这裡有很多韩国朋友
I mean, I have Korean friends,
但他不是韩裔美国人
but he’s not, like, Korean-American.
他是标准的美国人
He’s Korean-Korean.
他很有吸引力吗？
Is he attractive?
嗯
I think so.
他是非常有男人味的那种
He’s really masculine in this way
我觉得这也很韩国
that I think is so Korean.
你有被他吸引吗？
Are you attracted to him?
没有吧
I don’t think so.
不知道
I don’t know, I mean…
我觉得没有
I don’t think so.
很长时间以来
He was just this kid in my head
他在我心裡都是当年那个小男孩
for such a long time.
然后他就变成了视频里的一个画面
And then he was just this image on my laptop.
但现在他是真实的人
And now he’s a physical person.
所以我有点激动
It’s really intense,
但我觉得这不算」吸引「
but I don’t think that that’s attraction,
我只是很想他
I think I just missed him a lot.
想念首尔
I think I miss Seoul.
他想你吗？
Did he miss you?
他想念的应该是那个儿时玩伴
I think he missed the 12-year-old crybaby
那个12岁的爱哭鬼
he knew a long time ago.
你以前是个爱哭鬼？
You were a crybaby?
是啊
Yeah.
我只要一哭 他就得站在旁边看着
Most of the time, he’d have to just stand there and watch me.
他什麽时候回去来着？
When is he leaving, again?
后天早上
The morning after tomorrow. Mm-hmm.
你生气了？
Are you mad?
没有
No.
我觉得你生气了
It feels like you are.
我没有权力生气
I don’t have a right to be mad.
为什麽这麽说？你当然有权力生气
What do you mean? Of course you do.
不 我…
No, I…
那傢伙坐了13个小时的飞机来这裡
That guy flew 13 hours to be here.
我不会告诉你
I’m not gonna tell you
你不能见他之类的
that you can’t see him or something.
他是你小时候的初恋
He’s your childhood sweetheart.
而且你又不会跟他跑了
And it’s not like you’re gonna run away with him.
你要跑吗？
Are you?
当然了
Definitely.
我要扔下这裡的一切…
I’m gonna throw away my life here and run away…
…跟他回首尔
…with him to Seoul.
你难道不瞭解我吗？
Do you even know me?
我才不会为了一个男人缺席排练
I’m not gonna miss my rehearsals for some dude.
我知道
I know.
我瞭解你
I know you.
怎麽了？
What?
我在想这真是个好故事
I was just thinking about what a good story this is.
-我和海成的故事？ -对
The story of Hae Sung and me? Yeah.
我竞争不过
I just can’t compete.
什麽意思？
What do you mean?
儿时的初恋在20年后重逢
Childhood sweethearts who reconnect 20 years later
然后意识到彼此才是天生一对
only to realize they were meant for each other.
我们可不是什麽天生一对
We’re not meant for each other.
我知道
I know.
我知道
I know.
在故事里
In the story,
我肯定是那个
I would be the evil white American husband
棒打鸳鸯的溷蛋白人老公
standing in the way of destiny.
闭嘴吧
Shut up.
再想想我们的故事就太无聊了
What do you not like about it? Our story’s just so boring.
我们是在艺术家驻留计划认识的
We met at an artists’ residency.
我们上♥床♥是因为当时两个人都单身
Slept together because we both happened to be single.
然后发现都住在纽约
We realize we both live in New York,
所以为了省房♥租就同居了
so we move in together to save money on rent.
结婚是为了让你拿绿卡
We got married so you could get a green card. So…
这麽一说可真浪漫
Oh, you make it sound so romantic.
对吧 我就是这个意思
Right, that’s what I’m saying.
在故事里
I’m the guy you leave in the story
你前任来找你的时候 我就是那个被抛弃的角色
when your ex-lover comes to take you away.
他不是我前任
He’s not my ex-lover.
如果你当时在驻留计划里认识了别人呢？
What if you met somebody else at that residency?
如果当时有其他的纽约作家
What if there was another writer from New York