惊声尖笑

喂
Hello.
想找乐子吗
Wanna have a little fun?
你是谁
Who’s this?
你先说你的吧
Tell me your name and I’ll tell you mine.
我才不要
I don’t think so.
什么声音
What’s that noise?
我放屁了
Oops. I farted.
没想到你听得见
I didn’t think you would hear me.
不 那噗噗的声音
No, that popping noise.
我在做爆米花
Oh. I’m making popcorn.
准备看片子
I’m getting ready to watch a video.
什么片子
Ooh. What is it?
只是部恐怖片
It’s just a scary movie.
-你喜欢恐怖片吗 -嗯
-Do you like scary movies? -Mm-hmm.
你最喜欢哪一部
What’s your favorite?
不知道
Mm, I don’t know.
想想嘛
Think.
有了 是精灵也疯狂
Oh, I know. Um, Kazaam,
侠客欧尼尔演精灵的那一部
the one where Shaq plays a genie.
那不是恐怖片
That’s not a horror movie.
那是你没看过欧尼尔的演技
Well, you haven’t seen Shaq act.
你的声音很甜美
Hey, you have a nice voice.
谢了
Thanks.
你没告诉我你是谁
You never did tell me your name.
你为何想知道
Why do you wanna know my name?
我想知道我现在正在看的是谁
Cause I wanna know who I’m looking at.
你说什么
What… What did you say?
大♥波♥霸
Nice breasts.
你想干嘛
Look, what do you want?
我想看看你里面有没有料
I wanna see what your insides look like.
那就翻到55页
Well… Well, then, turn to page 54.
好耶
Hey, nice.
混球 你闹够了
Listen, asshole, you’ve had your fun,
你最好就此打住
now you better stop or else.
不然呢
Or else what?
我男友随时会到
Or else my boyfriend’s gonna be here any minute,
他是黑人 可以扁死你
and he’s black and he’ll kick your ass.
是吗
Oh, really?
对
Yeah.
你是指打扮成女人的那个
You mean the one who wears makeup and dresses like a woman?
你怎么知道
How did you know?
把阳台的灯打开
Turn the porch lights on.
救命 救命
Help! Help!
不是他啦
Oh, that’s not my boyfriend.
我不过就跟他上过几次床而已
I mean, I’ve fucked him a couple of times, but that’s it.
我要报♥警♥了
Look, I’m calling the cops.
去啊 去报♥警♥啊
Go ahead. Call the cops.
但你最好先查看一下后门
But you might wanna check the back door first.
你忘了上锁了
You forgot to lock it.
接招吧 大变♥态♥
Take that, you psycho!
我的脚没知觉了
I can’t feel my legs.
我的手断了
I think my arm is broken.
抱歉
Sorry.
我要跟我妈讲
I want my mommy.
你好 茱儿
Hello, Drew.
天啊
Oh, God!
天啊
Oh, God!
活路 死路
不
No
爸
Daddy!
爸
Daddy!
爸
Daddy!
爸
Daddy!
爸 不 不
Daddy, no! No!
什么声音
Did you hear something?
我没听见什么声音
No, I didn’t hear anything.
巴比 你干嘛
Bobby, what are you doing?
我爸就在隔壁
My dad’s in the other room.
我想起
It just occurred to me.
我从未从窗户爬进来过
I never climbed through your window before.
现在你满足了吧
Now that you got it out of your system,
你快走吧
Bobby, you have to leave.
为什么
Why?
小心
Shh. Come on.
里面怎么了
What’s going on in there?
老爸的头卡住了
Ow! Daddy’s head is stuck.
快松开
Unstick Daddy’s head.
爸 拜托你先敲门嘛
Dad, can you knock?
敲门
Knock?
我听见里面有人尖叫
I thought I heard screaming in here.
没有人尖叫啊
No. No, you didn’t, Dad.
可能是我刚嗑药的幻觉吧
Well, it could’ve been that crack I smoked earlier, I guess.
没错
Yeah, that’s what it was.
我要离开镇上几天
Listen, I gotta leave town for a couple of days. O.K?
别担心
No big deal.
我跟那几个哥伦比亚人的生意
Just that new business I started with those Colombian guys?
你是说艾斯可叔叔
Oh, you mean Uncle Escobar.
对
Yeah. Yeah, that’s right.
出了问题
Well, there’s a problem.
有些钱不见了
Some money went missing.
看来有些人会完了
And apparently, some legs are gonna get broken.
我最好还是躲个几天吧
It’s just better if I lay low for a couple of days.
如果警♥察♥来查
If the cops raid the place…
我根本不认识你
I never heard of you.
别忘了
And don’t forget…
湮灭证据
To flush your stash.
你真棒
Oh, you are my little girl.
我爱你
I love you so much…
我在咖啡罐里留了点好料给你
that I left you a little something in the coffee can.
-爸爸 -卖♥♥之前记得要掺点料
-Dad… -But you have to remember to step on it before you sell it.
你要拿什么掺进去
Now, what are you gonna cut it with?
苏打
Um, baking…
苏打粉不是发粉
Baking soda. Not baking powder.
放发粉
Because baking powder
帅哥就会发了
guys will have muffins growing out of their nose.
你就喜欢这样 对吧
You love that joke, don’t you, honey?
你两岁时就喜欢这样掺了
You’ve loved that joke since you were two years old.
好吧
Okay, well…
我爱你
Okay, I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
一路顺风
Have a good trip.
-拜 -拜
-Bye. -Bye.
安全了
Is the coast clear?
辛蒂这件睡衣
Oh, Cindy, that nightgown.
真惊险 天啊
That was close. God!
我本来在家看大♥法♥师
I was, uh, home watching The Exorcist,
那片子却让我想起你
and it got me thinking about you.
若你是想起我吐绿黏液
If this is about the time I puked green slime
还用十字架自♥慰♥的那次
and masturbated with a crucifix…
那是我第一次参加饮酒大会
It was my first keg party, Bobby.
不 不
No. No.
那是电视版
Uh, it was edited for TV.
精彩片段都剪了
All the good stuff was cut out.
那你是想爬上来
So you thought you would just climb through my window…
跟我玩耍
and we would play bump-bump?
我是希望有人能舔我蛋蛋
I was kind of hoping to get my balls licked,
但我决不会动你内♥裤♥
but I wouldn’t wanna break your little underwear rule,
好吗
now, would I?
也许我能跟你隔着睡衣玩玩
So maybe just some on-top-of-the-clothes type stuff?
好吧 就一下子
Okay. But just for a minute.
搞什么