Yeah.
好吧,我去找地方放它
All right, well, I’ll find a nice place for these.
– 进来吧,关还在准备,还有… – 非常好
– Come on in. Gwen’s getting ready, and… – Great.
– 就… – 房♥子很漂亮
– Yeah, do… – Nice house.
这里满漂亮的
Beautiful place.
– 谢谢 – 小心
– Thanks. Yeah. – Look out.
– 那是你的小孩吗? – 没有,真的小孩我放在冰箱里
– Is that your baby? – Nah, real kid’s in the fridge.
这只是我放来吓人的东西
It’s just a screaming decoy.
他…叫什么名字?
What’s… What’s the name?
昆恩
Quinn.
– 好 – 他好可爱
– Yeah. – He’s adorable.
其实她是女的
No, it’s a she.
我们用《荒野女医情》的主角替她命名
We named her after Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, you know,
因为…当时我们觉得这样很有趣
because… ‘Cause it seemed like a funny idea
– 当时 – 满好的,我觉得挺妙的
– at the time. – It’s good. I think it’s clever.
当时我们没想到未来…
You don’t really think that far ahead and then…
– 那出秀不错看 – 孩子的名字会跟着她一生…
– Yeah. It’s a good show. – It’s the kid’s name forever, but…
– 对 – 你想喝啤酒还是…
– Yeah. – Yeah. You want a beer, or…
– 啤酒 – 好
– I’d love that. – All right.
– 谢谢你 – 没问题
– Thank you so much. – You got it.
她还好吗?
Now, is she okay?
– 她看起来心情挺糟的 – 她很好
– ‘Cause she seems upset. – No, she’s good.
哭对小孩的肺功能有益
The crying’s actually, like, good for kids’ lungs.
让他们更强壮之类的
It makes them strong or something, you know.
好吧
All right.
我可不信那套
Well, I don’t think that’s true.
对吧?
Right?
你好吗?
Hi. You okay?
– 你好吗? – 她喜欢你
– You okay? – She likes you.

Hey.

Hey.
你看起来很美
You look… Beautiful.
我看起来不一样
Well, I look… Different.
你还好吗?
So, how are you?
还可以,只是回老家有点不习惯
Good. Good. Little weird to be home, you know?
你的小孩真的很可爱…
You have an amazing-looking child…
– 你老公就在厨房♥里 – 反正这婚姻没救了
– Your husband’s right in the kitchen. – Yeah. It’s not working out.
但他随时都能走进来…
But, he could come in, and any moment…
– 我好想你 – 我也很想你
– I missed you. – I missed you, too.
你应该打给我
You should have called me.
我知道
I know.
你读过这本书吗?
Have you ever read this?
它是我最喜欢的书
Yes, that is my favorite one.
– 我就知道你会喜欢 – 对
– Yeah, I thought you might like it. – Yeah.
真的吗?我认为那本书还满忧郁的
Really? I think that book’s depressing.
什么事对你来说都很忧郁
You think everything’s depressing.
你有看过《火线追缉令》吧?
Well, you’ve seen Seven, right?
– 我有看过 – 随便
– I have, yeah. – Whatever.
你怎么让昆恩不哭的?
How did you get Quinn to stop crying?
不是我,是约翰做的
Oh, I didn’t. John did it.
你是哪来的婴儿大♥师♥…
What, are you, like, some kind of baby whisperer guy, or…
没有
No. No.
杰森从没办法让她不要哭
Jason can never get her to stop crying.
真的吗?应该只是运气不好
Really? Well, that’s probably just bad luck.
对…
Yeah, I mean…
我只是运气不好
It’s just bad luck.
– 你饿了吗? – 超饿
– You hungry? – Starving.
– 我们开动吧 – 太好了
– Yeah, let’s eat. – Okay, great.
– 给你 – 谢谢
– Here you go. – Thanks.
小朋友,你要睡觉觉了,你想…
Okay, kiddo, it’s bedtime for you. You want…
你在闹我吗?
Are you kidding me?
太好吃了,谢谢你们
It was really good. Thank you very much.
你女朋友怎么了?
So, what’s the story with your girlfriend?
她怎么没跟你回来?
Why didn’t she come back with you?
女朋友?
Girlfriend?
– 我没告诉你吗? – 没有
– Yeah, I didn’t tell you? – No.
他们小孩都要生了
Yeah. No, they’re gonna have a kid together and everything.
– 恭喜 – 谢谢你
– Congratulations. – Thank you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
– 预产期是什么时候? – 就快了
– So, when’s she due? – Soon, very soon.
他们甚至没结婚
They’re not even married.
你们也懂,我们…
Well, you know, we…
真的很想要生私生子,我们就上了
Really wanting a bastard, so we got it.
我在垃圾桶里找到验孕棒的当下,马上就向关求婚
I proposed to Gwen the second I saw the pregnancy test in the trash.
一刻都不等,因为我不想…
I jumped on it, ’cause you don’t want to, you know…
太浪漫了
That’s romantic.
– 对 – 你们怎么认识的?
– Yeah. – So, how’d you meet her?
在漫画店
At a comic book store, actually.
所以她是宅女还是?
She like a… Like a nerd or…
不是,她…很惹人爱
No, she’s… Adorable.
好吧
Okay.
她做什么的?
What she do?
其实她有自己的公♥司♥
She has her own company, actually.
干什么的?
Doing what?
她设计宠物的衣服
She designs pet clothing.
像是领子、帽子还有毛衣之类…
So, just collars and hats and sweaters and…
真好
Nice.
在纽约当宠物服装设计师就能养活自己?
You can make a living designing pet clothing in New York?
– 实在是… – 其实不算是
– That’s… – No, not… Not really.
我不太懂
I don’t understand then.
她父母算满有钱的吧
Her parents are rich-ish.
多有钱?
How rich?
他们送她一栋房♥子当毕业礼物
They bought her a brownstone for graduation.
好吧,我现在知道为什么你不想跟她结婚了
Okay. Well, now I see why you don’t want to get married.
为什么?
Why is that?
有什么意义?搞这么多名堂
Well, it’s like, what’s the point, really? Going through all that, you know?
结果到最后还是让她照顾你…
Getting everything you want out of it, and she’s taking care of you, so…
– 杰森 – 怎样?
– Jason. – What?
不是这样的
Well, no, no, it’s not… It’s not like that.
我们没有共同帐户…
I mean, we keep our money separate, so…
但你又没钱
But you don’t have any money.
你醉了
You’re drunk.
所以呢?
So?
所以你要去洗碗,可以吗?
So go do the dishes, okay?
可以
Okay.
当然可以
Right. Okay. Sure.
– 你没有钱吧? – 杰森
– You don’t have any money, right? – Jason.
好吧
Okay.
约翰!我的天啊
John! Oh, my God!
我已经有两天没有你的消息!我好担心
I haven’t heard from you in, like, two days! I’ve been worried!
蕾贝卡,我刚见了关
Rebecca, I just saw Gwen.
我去她家吃晚餐,她老公也在场
I went over to her house for dinner, her and her husband, he was there.
然后,甜心,我就直说了吧,她亲了我!
And okay, honey, I’ll just tell you, she kissed me!
好吧
Okay.
所以…你亲了她?
Okay, so… You kissed her?
不,是她亲我
No, no, no, she kissed me.
差别可大了
No. Major difference.
差很多
Major.
我以为你说自己对她已经没感觉了
I just thought that you said you didn’t have feelings for her anymore,
还有她有小孩
and she just had a kid.
我没有感觉,她有小孩
I don’t. She did.
对了,她看起来还是很漂亮
By the way, she still looks great!
我只是想跟你说这些,你没什么需要担心的
Meant to tell you that, so, you have nothing to worry about.
什么?
Dude, what?
约翰,你听起来像个疯子
John, you sound like a basket case.
不,我发誓我知道自己在讲什么
No. No, no. I know exactly what I’m saying, I promise.
你现在真的让我很没有安全感
You’re not making me feel very secure right now.
我知道,我会让你有安全感
I know. I know, but I will.
就从现在开始
I will, starting right now.
你喝醉了吗?
Are you drunk?

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