老妇杀手（2004）

不是每个人都这样的，当然， 那就为什么ＩＢＳ是最大的挑战．
Not everyone is, of course, which is why the biggest challenge of l,B,S,
就是教育公众．
is educating the public,
折磨着２００万人♥民♥， 而我们从中很多人从没有听说过这个．
Afflicts over two million people, yet most of us have never heard of it,
这个不论年龄，性别，种族
And it strikes without regard to age, gender or race,
哦．操， 我不想听这些垃圾．
Oh, fuck, man, I don’t wanna hear about this shit,
好吧，那正是我们看法不同而吵架．
Well, that’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re fighting,
我猜我从来没有告诉过你我和曼腾美女 是怎么和我遇上的．
I guess I never told you that’s how Mountain Girl and I met,
他们在戈劳辛革有个ＩＢＳ周末， 最近在凯特斯基尔（纽约的一个乡村）
They had an l,B,S, weekend at Grossinger’s up in the Catskills,
当然，那里的旅游业受挫．
Of course, the tourist business there has suffered
随着保谢尔．贝特的下位．
with the demise of the Borscht Belt,
所以他们有很多促销， 混频器，等等这些．．．
so they have various promotions, mixers, so on,
这个周末是给ＩＢＳ们见面还有互相支持的．
This was a weekend for lrritable Bowel singles to meet and support each other
还有分享故事． 兄弟，看这里．
and share stories, – Man, look here,
我不想听他们任何人的故事，ｏｋ？
I don’t want to hear a single one of them stories, OK?
现在，他们有些很感人． 不要讲他妈的故事！
Now, some of them are very moving, – Not one fucking story!
看，我不是选择得ＩＢＳ． 闭上臭嘴！
Look, I didn’t choose to have l,B,S, – Man, shut the fuck up!
没得治疗，你知道． 只能控制，是终身的．
There’s no cure, you know, Only control, Lifelong condition,
是的，你知道吗？ 也做一辈子屁♥眼♥吧！
Yeah, you know what? Bein’ an asshole’s a lifelong condition, too,
就扔下他妈的工具
Just drop the fuckin’ tools,
我不是在抱怨， 我遇见了曼腾美女．
I’m not complaining, I did meet Mountain Girl,
兄弟，回洞里去！
Man, get back in the fuckin’ hole!
哦！奇迹．．奇迹，奇．．． 这边！这边！先生们！
Oh! (laughs) Marvel,,, Marvelous, Marv,,, This way! This way, gentlemen!
哦，太棒了！太棒了！ 毫无瑕疵，太棒了．
Oh! Excellent! Excellent, Flawless, flawless, Thumbs up,
不停的大便． 不停的谈大便．
Can’t stop shittin’, Can’t stop talkin’ about shittin’,
先生们，为我们几个，我们是一起分享 每个人的陪伴，
Gentlemen, to we few, We who have shared each other’s company,
每个人的照顾，每个人的快乐．
each other’s cares, each other’s joys,
我们如今的共同努力有了收获，
and who shall now reap the fruits of our communal efforts,
肩并肩，发挥各自的才能，
shoulder to shoulder, from each according to his abilities,
还有很多没有提到的．
so forth and whatnot,
在我们的道路上有小小分歧，
We have had our little differences along the way,
但是我想那让我们体现出更多价值．
but I’d like to think that they’ve only made us value one another all the more,
我们每个人来理解，感激，
Each of us coming to understand and appreciate
其他人唯一的品质和力量，是的，还有癖好．
the other’s unique qualities and potencies and, yes, foibles,
我建议我们回顾下那开心的日子．
I suggest that we shall look back upon this little caper one day,
将来有一天， 当孙子们在我们膝盖上嬉戏时，
one distant day, grandchildren dandled upon our knee,
可能我们会掉下眼泪，我们会说
and perhaps a tear will form and we shall say,
＂带着智慧，钻研精神，还有巨大的勇气．
“Well, with wit and grit and no small amount of courage,
我们总有一天会达成某些的，
we accomplished something on that day,
一个壮举，一个光彩的事业＂
a feat of derring-do, an enterprise not ignoble,”
我们愉快的队伍，没有被社会的约束
We merry band, unbound by the constraints of society
还有俗世的偏见所束缚．
and the prejudices of the common ruck,
我们开心的少数
We happy few,
先生们，干杯！ 干杯！
Gentlemen, to us! – (all) To us!
（笑）
(laughter)
雷♥管♥应该已经爆♥炸♥了啊
Charge shoulda gone off already,
我请你再说一次？
I do beg your pardon?
炸这个地道的雷♥管♥，我设置的８分钟．
The charge to collapse the tunnel, I set it for eight minutes,
就算更多时间都应该已经过去了啊，
Well, that much time and more has certainly elapsed,
我不应该提醒你， 这是这计划最基本的．
I need not remind you, it is of the essence of this plan
我们要毁灭痕迹．
that the money should appear to have simply vanished without a trace,
就像鬼魂一样消失． 当然．
spirited away, as it were, by ghosts, – Of course,
钱库悄悄的被偷空的这个迷，
The conundrum of the undisturbed, yet empty vault,
这个无法解决的密室被侵犯却还密封着的迷．
the unsolvable riddle of the sealed yet violated sanctum,
这是非常重要的，
is of the utmost importance,
不止是让我们在智力上让我们更加满意，
not only to make our caper more intellectually satisfying,
这也是个紧迫的实际问题．
it is exigent as a matter of practical fact,
我提醒过你，如果哪个地道通到了这个屋子，
I remind you that if any tunnel is ever found leading to this house,
房♥主就会知道你们所有人的名字．
the owner knows all your names,
（肚子隆隆响）
(stomach rumbling)
（警报）
(alarm)
（这世界的烦恼）
(“Trouble of This World”)
（隆隆声）
(rumbling)
你刚放屁？
You just fart?
（笑）
(laughing)
不，不，我很好． 完好无损！不是问题！
Nope, nope, I’m fine, Perfectly all right! Not a problem!
没留下洞．
There’s no hole left,
教授！
Professor!
我很惊讶！
I’m surprised!
好吧．．啊．．确切的说，太太， 我们也很惊讶，你这么早就回来了．
Well,,, uh,,, properly speaking, madam, we are surprised, You are taken aback,
然而我承认你所想的
Though I do acknowledge that the sense that you intend
就是赚了钱就是来花的，是的．
is gaining increasing currency through its use, yes,
你从你的礼拜早退了．
You have returned from your devotions betimes,
我得来沏茶，
I had to make tea,
我要和你谈谈，教授， 所以你别走！
I want to talk to you, Professor, so don’t you be leavin’!
还有你！我告诉过你， 我不想有人在这房♥子里面抽烟
And you! I told you I don’t want any smokin’ in this house!
（门铃）
(doorbell rings)
（叹气）
(sighs)
哦．进来吧．
Oh, come on in!
你好吗？
How you doin’?
（聊天）
(chattering)
茶女
Tea, ladies,
我不知道你们干了什么，
Now, I don’t know what you boys been up to,
但是我看到了损害，现在我需要个解释， 不过，首先，
but I know mischief when I see it, Now, I want an explanation, but first,
我想要你们带着乐器都上来，
I want you to get your fannies up here with all y’all’s period instruments,
我告诉那些太太们你们的音乐， 她们想听你们演奏．
Now, I been tellin’ the ladies about your music, and they want to hear you play,
教授？ 什么事，兰谱？
Professor? – Yes, Lump?
我不会吹号♥啊．
I can’t really play the buttsack,
（聊天停止）
(chattering stops)
太太，是太太们，
Madam, or rather, mesdames,
你一定得接受我们的道歉，因为 我们不能演奏，
you must accept our apologies for not bein’ able to perform,
你看，我们缺人，
for, as you see, we are shorthanded,
伽文仍然在工作．
Gawain is still at work,
在缺１人的时候我们不能演奏的．
and we could no more play with one part tacit
就像马缩起一只脚会跑得慢，
than a horse could canter shy one leg,
也许我可以表演，
Perhaps I could offer,
一段可怜的简短的诗朗诵，
as a poor but ready substitute, a brief poetic recital,
虽然我不会装那种很伟大的朗诵技巧，
Though I do not pretend to any great oratorical skills, (laughs)
我很高兴能得到太太你们的允许，
I would be happy to present, with your ladies’ permission,
选自头脑有点问题的埃德加． 阿兰．勃的诗句．
verse from the unquiet mind of Mr, Edgar Allan Poe,
＂女士，对我而言你很美丽
“Ladies, thy beauty is to me
就像昔日那些美丽的帆船,
Like those Nicean barks of yore,
那样轻柔的,散发着大海的芳香, 疲倦, 在外疲惫的流浪者努力的
That gently, o’er a perfumed sea, The weary, wayworn wanderer bore
回到自己的海岸＂．
To his own native shore,”
（叹气）
(ladies sigh) – My, my, my,
＂在这苍茫的大海上，
“On desperate seas long wont to roam,
你水仙样的头发，你古典的脸蛋，
Thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face,
你是水中的仙女带我飞回家，
Thy Naiad airs have brought me home
飞到辉煌的希腊，还有庄严的罗马＂
To the glory that was Greece And the grandeur that was Rome,”
哈利路亚
(tea lady # 1) Glory hallelujah,
阿门！
(all) Amen!
ｈｍ？
Hm?
再见，太太们， 这是．．我的荣幸．
(Dorr) Bye-bye, ladies, It was,,, it was my pleasure,
我们得再一次． 是的，我们要的．
(tea lady # 1) We have to do this again, – (tea lady #2) Yes, we do got to,
太荣幸了， 回家注意安全．
Such a pleasure, Safe home, Safe home,
（曼森太太咳）
(Mrs. Munson chuckles)
现在我想知道发生什么了． 哦，确切的说，
Now I want to know what’s goin’ on, – Oh, indeed, indeed,
渴望知识是一种非常值得表扬的事情，
The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing,
虽然我知道你听到这个解释你会爆笑，
Though I do believe that when you hear the explanation you shall laugh riotously,
拍着你膝盖笑，也许你会笑到眼泪都会出来．
slappin’ your knee and perhaps even wipin’ away a giddy tear,
解除你刚开始的顾虑．
relieved of your former concern,
兰谱是一个渴望的收藏家． 他收藏印第安人的箭头
Lump here is an avid collector of lndian arrowheads,
就在你地窖找到一个．
and having found one simply lying on your cellar floor –
还是一个稀有的纳齐兹部族人人造的？
a particularly rare artifact of the Natchez tribe? –
纳齐兹什么？
Nats,,, what?
他召集我们整个合唱团帮他努力通过掘土．
He enlisted the entire ensemble in an all-out effort to sift through the subsoil
来寻找看还有没有其他．
in search of others,
显然的，这么做， 我们击到了一根天然气的主要管道，
And apparently, in doing so, we hit a mother lode of natural gas,
我自己都发现有剧烈的＂臭蛋＂的味道．
I myself became acutely aware of the smell of “rotten eggs,”
就是在这不合适的时间，
And itwasjustatthis inopportune moment
这位将军违反了这房♥子的重要的规定
that the General here violated the cardinal rule of this house