为什么是他？（2016）

蛋酒 好 谢谢你
Eggnog. Yes. Thank you.
你是哪里人 老大？
Where you from, boss?
密西根
Michigan.
密西根 你在汽车业吗？
Oh, Michigan. You in the car business?
印刷业 我是奈德·弗莱明
Uh, no. Printing. Ned Fleming.
– 我是伊隆·马斯克 – 伊隆·马斯克？
– Elon Musk. – Elon Musk?
– 对 – 特斯拉的伊隆·马斯克？
– Yeah. – Tesla, Elon Musk?
– 是啊 – 哇
– Yeah. – Wow.
你怎么认识莱德的？
How do you know Laird?
他在跟我女儿交往
He’s dating my daughter.
糟了
Uh-oh.
– 跟你交谈很愉快 – 是啊
– Nice talking to you. – Yeah.
什么？
What?
嗨 老婆
Oh, hey! Hi, honey!
请给我一杯白酒
Could I get a glass of white wine, please?
– 嗨 帅哥 – 嗨
– Ooh, hiya, handsome. – Hi!
– 你真美 – 少来
– You look great. – Oh, come on.
– 是真的 – 谢谢
– No, you do. – Thank you.
我只是在感受节庆气氛
I’m just getting in the holiday spirit.
你跟莱德聊什么聊了那么久？
So what were you talking to Laird about for so long?
我听了梅修家族全史
I got the entire Mayhew family saga.
老天 真惨
Oh, God. I’m sorry.
不会 其实还蛮有趣的
No, no, turns out it was pretty interesting actually.
他妈妈是某间科技公♥司♥的秘书
His mother was a secretary at one of these tech companies.
想来点神户牛迷你堡吗？
Can I interest you in a Kobe beef slider?
– 好耶 – 真的食物吗？
– Ooh, yum. – Real food?
好 我饿坏了
Yes, I’m starving.
等等 什么？
Wait, what?
天啊
Oh, God.
– 夫人要来一管吗？ – 不了 谢谢
– Ma’am? Kobe squirt? – No, thanks.
谢谢你
Thank you.
其实味道还不错
It’s actually pretty tasty.
总之 她看到年轻工程师发达起来
Anyway, she saw all these young programmers getting rich.
她就逼莱德…
So she basically forced Laird
把整个童年都花在学电脑上
to spend his entire childhood inside, learning computers.
那有点可悲吧？
I think that’s kind of sad, right?
被他吞了
He ate it. Hmm.
他是章鱼
He’s an octopus.
他像章鱼伸出触角纠缠我们全家
That kid is wrapping his tentacles around every member of this family.
他在玩弄你
He’s manipulating you.
老公 我们该退一步想想
Darling, we need to bring this down a notch.
你觉得你在跟莱德斗争
Okay? You think you’re at war with Laird.
但他没有在作战 只有你
But he’s not fighting. It’s just you.
我们去认识他那些可爱的朋友吧
Come on, let’s go meet his friends. They look darling.
我的天
Oh, God.
JDK建置接精简型APP整个GG
Totally tanked porting the thin-client apps for the JDK build.
瞎毁？所以要重写编码？
The fuck? So you had to rewrite all the code?
对 我亲自出马
Mm-hmm. By myself.
– 那你有写好吗？ – 当然
– But did you do it? – Oh, you know I did!
– 他们来了 – 嗨
– Hey, there they are! – Hi.
美得冒泡
Looking like a babe.
这个小帅哥是谁
Look who’s looking sharp.
– 正点 – 你们好
– Okay! – Hello!
泰森 他们是史黛芬的爸妈 弗莱明夫妇
Tyson, these are Stephanie’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fleming.
叫我们芭芭拉和奈德就好
Oh, no. Barb and Ned, please.
他妈的有够瞎
So it was fucked up, man.
我花了两周弄J2EE资料库
It took me two weeks on the J2EE database…
想让介面随着伺服器反应
trying to get the interface to react with the server…
我才能让容器再次运作
so I can get the containers up and running again.
抱歉 泰森 什么是J2EE？
I’m sorry. Tyson, what’s a J2EE?
Java2平台企业版
Java 2 Platform Enterprise Edition.
– 你不写程式的？ – 抱歉
– Do you not write code? – Sorry.
– 这家伙超讨厌 – 是啊
– This guy’s the worst. – Yeah.
我比较擅长人际关系
I’m actually more of a personal relations kind of guy.
像是专案管理 客户服务之类
Like account management, client services. That kind of stuff.
老兄 这小子超屌♥的
Dude, this kid is fucking awesome.
奈德在培育史考特接手家族企业
Yes, Ned is grooming Scotty to take over our family business.
– 没错 – 我们在密西根做印刷
– That’s right. – We own a printing business in Michigan.
真假？既然你们是做印刷的
Really? I’m sure you’re familiar with those two siblings over there
应该很熟那对兄妹
since you’re in the printing business.
那边的兄妹档 来见见这家伙
Yo, brother-sister act! You gotta meet this guy.
你们好
Hello!
我们是布廉和蜜西裴德曼
Hey! Blaine and Missy Pederman.
我是芭芭拉·弗莱明
Hi, I’m Barb Fleming.
– 这是我先生 – 我是奈德
– This is my husband. – Ned.
我是史考特·弗莱明 你们好
I’m Scott Fleming. Nice to meet you.
两位应该很有名 但恐怕我们…
I’m sorry, we were told we might know you, but I’m afraid we don’t.
布廉和蜜西创办了无邮无虑
Blaine and Missy started Stamp Free Invites.
好的
Oh, okay.
很好
Right.
怎么了？
What’s up?
系统忘了提醒你有庆生派对吗？
Did the server forget to send a reminder for your birthday party or something?
不 他做的是真的印刷业
No, he is actually in the printing business.
– 靠 – 糟糕
– Oh, shit. – Whoops.
没关系
No, no.
我们没害你关门大吉吧？
We didn’t put you out of business or anything?
没有
No.
– 关门大吉？ – 没有…
– What? Ruin our business? – No, no.
我们生意很好 感谢关心
We’re doing quite well. Thank you.
– 太好了 – 很好 我是说真的
– Oh, that’s great! – Good for you! Honestly, good for you.
我们很爱这种街坊影印店
We love little mom-and-pop printers.
– 超励志又重要 – 没错
– So inspirational. So important. – Mm-hmm.
我爸的公♥司♥比较像工厂
My dad has more of a factory.
不是要吹牛 但规模蛮大的
Not to brag, but we’re a pretty big shop.
人们需要纸 能在上面写字的东西
People need paper. They need something to write on.
他们喜欢拿着卡片纸的手感
They love the feel of that card stock in their hands.
是啊
Yeah.
我从来没听过这种话
I’ve never heard anyone say that.
– 我们不知道有这种事 – 真的
– Hmm. We have not found that at all. – Yeah. Nope.
我们应该来自不同星球
I think we come from two different worlds.
是的
Yes, we do.
你最好立马开始学编码
You better start learning code pretty fucking fast, dude.
奈德出运时
Dude, Ned was crushing it
你们俩还在抢母奶喝咧
since before you two were fighting over your mother’s titties.
我妈没喂我们母乳
Our mom didn’t breastfeed us.
你明知道我们有奶妈
Laird, you know we had a wet nurse.
看得出来
Oh, I can tell.
我还真听不懂你们的对话
Boy, I’ll tell you, I don’t know what’s going on.
听拢呒
I’m lost.
– 我应接不暇 – 我也是
– I’m overwhelmed. Yeah! – Me, too.
我完全被颜♥射♥了
There’s bukkake floating all around me.
– 什么？ – 蛤？
– What? – Hm?
什么是颜♥射♥？
What’s bukkake?
莱德教我的
Oh, Laird told me.
就是应接不暇那些此起彼落的
It means when you’re overwhelmed and you got too much going on.
– 这样啊 – 完全状况外
– Oh, my gosh. – Can’t figure things out.
那我简直是被颜♥射♥淹没了
Then, I’m drowning in bukkake at this point.
说真的 那是射♥精♥在脸上的意思
Okay, I’m gonna be real with you guys. It means jizz on your face.
你说啥？
I’m sorry?
颜♥射♥是指被射在脸上
Bukkake means covered in jizz.
一大堆精♥液♥在脸上
Tons of jizz, ejaculate.
通常是在多P以后
Usually after a gangbang.
没有听起来那么糟啦
Not as bad as it sounds.
对 多P的最后
Yeah, post-gangbang.
或中间 如果有人提早缴械
Or during. Depends if someone finishes early.
– 搞什么？ – 我是想保护你
– What the heck? – I was trying to protect you, dude.
– 保护我？ – 可恶的贾丝汀
– Protect me? – Fucking Justine.
你是想整我吧？
You mean embarrass me?
那是很感性的谈话时间
It was a really sensitive conversation.
我不想聊一群男人打枪的事
I didn’t want to start talking about guys jerking off on each other.