为什么是他？（2016）

Just means a lot of things are happening and you’re feeling overwhelmed.
– 这样啊 – 对
– Mm-hmm. – Yeah.
我也有颜♥射♥的经验
Yeah. I’ve felt bukkake before.
坐吧 当自己家 轻松一下
Grab a seat. Make yourself comf. Let’s break it down.
直接躺地上是吧
Just pop down right here on the floor.
这就对了
There you go.
奈德 你跟我有很多共通点
Ned, I think you and I have so much in common.
我们看到想要的东西 就全力以赴
We see something we want and we just dive in
然后拿下它
and we take it.
你懂吗？
Know what I mean?
懂…
Yeah.
所以呢…
Which is why…
圣诞节当天…
…on Christmas Day…
我要向史黛芬求婚
I’m going to ask Stephy to marry me.
我知道你们的感情有多紧密
And I know how tight you two are.
对
Mm-hmm.
所以我真的很想…
So I’d really, really
得到你的祝福
like your blessing.
莱德
Uh, Laird.
– 谢谢你找我谈 – 当然
– Really appreciate you coming to me. – ‘Course.
但答案是不行
But, uh, the answer’s no.
老兄 我好困惑
Dude, I’m so confused.
搞屁啊？什么鬼？
What the fuck? What the hell?
我跟古斯塔排练时完全不是这样
This went so much differently when I rehearsed it with Gustav.
我问你 然后你说“好 儿子”
Yeah. I asked you and you were like, “Yeah, dude. My son.”
莱德 听我说
Laird. Listen to me, okay.
先不说我根本不知道你的来历
Beside the fact that I don’t know you from a hole in the wall…
史黛芬还没准备要迈入这个阶段
Stephanie is just not ready for this step in her life.
我倒觉得她一直在暗示我
Oh, I’m totally getting the signals that she is.
我是她爸 我还蛮了解她的
I’m her father, I know her pretty well.
好…奈德
Okay, all right. All right, Ned…
老兄 我知道这太唐突了
Dude, I know I sprung this on you.
是我不好 我们倒带一下
My bad. Okay? Let’s just back it up.
– 好吗？ – 好
– All right? – All right.
你何不给我几天博取你的好感？
Why don’t you give me a few days to win you over, okay?
等到圣诞节早上
And by Christmas morning…
我保证你会叫我“儿子”
I promise, you’re going to be calling me “son.”
而我会喊你“老爸”
I’m gonna be calling you “Dad”.
你还是别做梦了
Don’t think that’s going to happen.
我敢打包票 老爸
I think it’s gonna, Dad.
住口
Don’t.
老爸 得了
Dad, come on.
– 别喊我爸 – 别喊你♥爸♥？
– Don’t call me “Dad.” – Don’t call you “Dad”?
我不是你♥爸♥
I’m not your dad.
你将来会是我岳父
I mean, you’re gonna be my dad.
不…
No. No.
什么 老爸？
What, Dad?
现在你只是在胡闹
Okay, now you’re playing with me.
好啦 老爸
All right. Dad.
听着 莱德
Look, Laird.
你何必在乎我怎么想？
Why do you even care about what I think?
你是史黛芬的爸爸
You’re Stephanie’s father.
没有你的祝福 我不会向她求婚
I’m not gonna ask Stephanie to marry me unless I have your blessing.
好吧
Okay.
贾丝汀 你有录到吗？
Justine, did you get that?
完录 一字不漏
Totes. Yeah, recorded every word.
完录…什么是“完录”？
Totes. And totes is what?
就是“完全有录到” 但用简称省事
It means totally. But totally’s kind of long, so “totes” is just easier.
好 很好
Okay. Good.
– 好吧 – 好吧
– Okay. – Okay.
– 酷哦 – 是啊
– All right, cool. – Yeah.
但是你要答应我
But you gotta promise me
你不会向史黛芬透露求婚的事
that you won’t tell Steph anything about this.
只字不提
About any of this.
相信我 我一点都不想提
Trust me, that is the last thing in the world I will do.
说真的 我要给她惊喜
For reals, dude. I want it to be a surprise.
我什么都不会说的
No word. I won’t say a word.
对芭芭拉跟史考特也不能乱说
Barb and Scotty, too. No clowning.
不乱乱说
No clowning.
什么？
What?
我们打勾勾 这样我比较放心
I’d just feel a lot better about this if we pinky swore.
哦…
Oh.
– 我懂了 – 酷
– I see what you mean. – Cool.
– 去吃早餐吧 – 好
– Go get breakfast. – Okay.
妈的
Fuck!
你们好
Sup, guys?
– 老板 – 梅修
– Hey, boss. – Mayhew!
♪ …took a little longer ♪
♪ Go into the school gonna run another banger ♪
– 搞什么？ – 马上跟我来
– The fuck? – Come with me immediately.
这里面有什么？
The hell is this room?
蓝迪 给我滚
Randy, get the fuck out.
– 是 古斯塔 – 快点
– Yes, sir, Gustav. – Mm-hmm.
我现在好忐忑啊
I am on the needles und pins.
你快告诉我结果 不然我要爆♥炸♥了
I need you to tell me how it went right now or I’m going to burst.
– 他说不行 – 什么？好…
– He said no! – What? Okay, okay.
那你怎么回应他？
But how did you respond?
我被捅刀了 整个慌了手脚
I was blindsided, man. I didn’t know what to do.
我就挑战他
I challenged him.
– 好 – 我开始叫他爸
– Okay. – I started calling him Dad.
– 我难过 – 干嘛啦？
– Oy vey. – The fuck, man!
你干嘛叫他爸？你让他不自在了
Why would you call him Dad? You’re putting him at unease!
你要投其所好
You have to find a way in.
为他做件真正特别的事
You have to do something for him that’s truly special
让他知道你是真心诚意的
so that he knows that your intentions are pure.
老古 我不知道怎么跟他相处
Dude, Goose, I don’t know how to talk to the guy.
我们好像语言不通一样
It’s like we speak two different languages or something.
– 这倒是 – 对啊
– You do. – Yeah.
他讲英语
He speaks English.
你也讲英语 和数不尽的“妈的”
And you speak English with resounding amounts of “fuck.”
好啦 史黛芬也念过我
All right, Stephanie’s been on my case, too.
– 对 – 我知道了
– Yes. – I got it.
– 你懂了？ – 对
– All right? – Okay.
– 好 – 没问题
– Right. – All right, man.
– 很好 – 很好
– Great. – Great.
你这巴掌真♥他♥妈♥的用力
You just fucking really hit me really hard.
我知道 抱歉
I know. I am sorry.
只是 莱德…
It’s just, Laird…
你跟史黛芬小姐的感情
…your relationship with Miss Stephanie
非常特别 而且是认真的
is very special. It’s the real deal.
– 你哦… – 真的
– Hey. – Yes.
我知道我付你一狗票钱
Goose, I know I pay you a shit-ton of money,
但你真是我的好麻吉
but you’re my best friend.
我们的友谊无价
Our friendship is priceless.
谢了 兄弟
Hey. Thanks, brother.
好吧
Okay.
好啦 我放弃…
Okay. Ow! Mercy. Mercy.
妈的
Fuck.
兄弟 你太狂了
Bro, you’re incredible.
你真有创造力
That was very imaginative
你利用感性时刻来施展攻击
how you took that tender moment and used it as your pivot to attack.
– 是的 – 非常好
– Yeah. – Very good.
老大 我正要去看足球赛
What’s up, Cheese? I’m about to go to the football game.
雄狮队赞啦
Lions, baby!
好极了 公♥司♥还好吗？
Great. How’s business?
来点好消息吧
Tell me something good.
哦 呃…
Oh, uh…
我跟迪克体育用品的人谈过了
I talked to my guy over at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
比那更糟
Worse.
可恶的网页图像广♥告♥
Freaking online banner ads.
不 该死 你听我说
No. Damn it. All right, listen.
我要打给速霸陆的唐密里斯