Every guy wants to be a father,
都想要做足球教练
wants to coach the soccer team,
以及在科学节时帮上忙
and help out with the science fair,
做一些”火山爆发”什么的
the volcano goes off… I don’t know.
就那些
Yeah. All that.
歌♥塔带我们过一遍
Maybe Gerta could take us through
你们起草的初步文件吧
the preliminary documents that you’ve drawn up.
当然了
Sweet. Yeah,
我能先用一下洗手间吗
could I use the facilities first?
怀孕以后我的尿就像《奔腾年代》一样
‘Cause being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit.
当然 楼下的洗手间在重贴瓷砖
Sure. The downstairs bathroom’s being retiled,
不过你可以上楼
but if you go upstairs,
向右拐进…
and then to the right and to the…
好极了 有马桶的房♥间
Oh, yeah. The room with the toilet.
她没事吧
Is she all right?
-是你 -不好意思
– Oh! It’s you. – Sorry.
不好意思 我没想到会在这见到你
Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you up here.
我上来拿点东西
Just came up to get something.
你老婆让你上来监视我吗
Did your wife send you up here to spy on me?
不 怎么 我们表现得像个妄想狂吗
No. What? Do we come off as paranoid yuppies or something?
我偷喷了你老婆的香水
Well, I… I stole a squirt of your wife’s perfume.
-是吗 -那可是倩碧的快乐香氛
– Really? – It’s Clinique Happy.
你闻闻这迷人的前调
Get a whiff of those sparklin’ top notes.
闻了这个能让我快乐吗
Oh, yeah. That supposed to make me feel happy?
你当然该快乐 伙计
You should feel happy, homes.
我要给你和瓦妮莎送一份生命之礼
I’m giving you and Vanessa the gift of life,
甜蜜的 会尖叫会拉屎的生命
sweet, screaming, pooping life.
而且你都不用看着它出生
and you don’t even have to be there.
-还糊满着… -内脏
– When it comes out all covered in… – Viscera.
鲜血和肠子
Blood and guts.
那是莱斯·保罗吉他吗
Is that a Les Paul?
没错
Yes, it is.
瓦妮莎给我腾的房♥间 只放我的东西
Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff.
她给你腾房♥间 在你家里
She gave you your own room in… in… in…
放你自己的东西
in your whole house for your… for your stuff?
她管得可真严 马克
She’s got you on a long leash there, Mark.
真是太美了
Oh, it’s beautiful!
比起芬德我更喜欢吉普森的吉他
You know, I always loved Gibson more than Fender. Like, just…
你玩什么的
What do you play?
和声吉他
I rock a Harmony.
-这是红木吗 -对
– Is it mahogany? – Yeah.
万一琴颈裂了怎么办
And what happens if you crack the neck?
这肯定超级…
I mean, that must be, like, a bitch to…
没错
Tell me about it.
我以前在芝加哥住的时候玩过乐队
I used to play in this real tight band when I lived in Chicago,
有天晚上我们给”讨厌鬼”乐队做暖场
and this one night we opened up for the Melvins,
我在台上把它给摔了
and I busted that thing right onstage.
光修它就花了我八百美金
It cost me $800 just to get it fixed.
那是什么时候 大概是…
So… so when was that? Was that, like…
93年 摇滚的巅峰时期
’93. Best time for rock ‘n’ roll.
才不是
Nuh-uh!
当然是1977年了 你…
’77! Are you…
-怎么了 -朋克初诞生时啊
– What?! – Punk, volume number one!
你太疯狂了
You’re crazy.
你没经历过
You weren’t there.
当然无法了解那种魔力
You couldn’t understand the magic.
你那时还没出生呢
You weren’t even alive!
那是什么
What’s that?
那是普拉提的器材
It’s a Pilates machine.
你用它做什么
What do you make with it?
不是做什么
You don’t make anything.
是用来健身的
It’s for exercising.
我太太从电视上订了一个
Yeah, my wife ordered one of those,
托尼·利特尔的漫步机
Tony Little “Gazelles” off the TV.
就是扎着马尾辫的那个家伙
You know, from the guy with the ponytail?
我反正是看不惯那家伙
Guy just doesn’t look right to me.
我马上回来
I’ll be right back.
对不起
Excuse me.
真的希望
Really want to
真的真的希望 我也愿意
Really, really want to, and I do, too
我想成为…
I want to be…
你们在玩音乐
You’re playing music.
朱诺想近距离感受一下金宝
Juno wanted a little closer look at Kimber.
你的吉他叫做金宝
Your guitar is named Kimber?
-是的 -真酷 我的叫罗斯福
– Yeah. – That’s cool. My ax is named Roosevelt,
是小罗斯福 不是的
but after Franklin, not Ted.
小罗斯福的是有小儿麻痹却挺性感的那个吧
Franklin? He was the hot one with the polio?
是的 歌♥塔还在楼下
Yeah. hey, Gerta’s downstairs.
我们还有…
We still have…
还有一堆事要做
Still have a lot of stuff to go over and do.
我来 我来
I got it. I got it.
-好了吗 -好了
– You got it? – Got it.
我也不想打断你们的即兴演奏会
Not to interrupt the jam session, but…
仔细看一下
Just look these over.
有任何问题 打我办公室电♥话♥
If you have any questions, call me at my office.
不管是去看医生还是做B超
We would really appreciate if you would just,
如果你不嫌麻烦
you know, keep us updated on any doctor’s appointments,
一有宝宝的最新消息
or ultrasounds or anything of that nature,
请马上告诉我们
if it’s not too much.
不麻烦 没问题
No. Right. For sure.
我能理解你们不想错过它长成胎儿的过程
You want to know how your kid’s a-cookin’. I get it.
你觉得自己真的要这么做吗
You think you’re really going to do this, then?
是的 我喜欢你们俩 是啊
Yeah. Yeah. No. I… I like you guys. Yeah.
你觉得自己有多确定
How sure would you say you are?
就你觉得你是80%确定呢
Like, would you say you’re 80% sure,
还是90%确定
or 90% sure or…
我觉得是104%确定
I’m going to say I’m about 104% sure.
真的吗
Really?
给你 先生
Here you go, sir.
说真的 如果现在可以把它拿出来
No, seriously, if I could just have the thing,
交给你们 我完全没问题
and give it to you now, I totally would.
但是我想它现在也许
But I’m guessing it looks, probably,
看起来像个海猴子
like a sea monkey right now,
我们还是让它长得…
and, you know, we should let it get a…
长得再可爱点儿
get a little… get a little cuter.
-对吧 -对
– Right? – Yes.
太棒了
That’s great.
慢慢长吧
Keep it in the oven.
我觉得这主意不错
I think that’s a great idea.
很高兴见到你们
Nice to meet you both.
-我也是 -请一定小心驾驶
– You, too. – Please drive carefully.
-希望能尽快听到你们的消息 -谢谢
– Hopefully, we’ll hear from you soon. – Thank you.
-谢谢你 -好的 你们保重
– Thank you. – All right. You take care.
好的 拜拜
All right. Bye-bye.
宝贝
Honey.
过来
Come here.

我粘上你了
I’m sticking with you
因为我是胶水做的
‘Cause I’m made out of glue
你要做的事情
Anything that you might do
我也要一起做
I’m gonna do too
哥们
Hey, man.
维杰 最近怎么样
Hey, Vijay. How’s it going?
你听说了吗 朱诺·麦高夫怀孕了
Did you hear? Juno MacGuff’s pregnant.
是的
Yeah.
-就跟咱们的老妈和老师一样 -是啊
– Like our moms and teachers. – Yeah.
你有没有听说孩子是你的
Did you hear it’s yours?
是的
Yep.
这问题可大了
What a trip.
我对这事真的不太了解
I don’t really know too much about it.
你应该留个胡子
You should grow a mustache.

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