This is, like, from a long time ago!
很久之前的事了
It’s okay.
别哭了
What are you doing?
你说了什么
Well, that was a major setback.
这下扣了不少分
“When my dad doesn’t have time for me.”
“我爸爸没时间陪我”
We’re sorry.
对不起
I know you’re sorry.
我知道
I know you got real stuff going on with your family.
我知道你们家有点小问题
And it’s painful.
很糟糕
But you gotta just hold it in
但也得等回去之后
till you get to the mainland again.
再难过
You’re the ones who wanted to come here
是你们说要来这里
and go swimming with the dolphins
和海豚游泳的
or standing with the dolphins because you can’t swim.
结果你也不会游 只能站着看海豚
Can you act professional? Yes, sir.
能专业点吗 遵命
For at least two more days, until I kill you off
在我让你去英国寄宿 被火车撞死之前
in a boarding school train accident?
再撑两天
I thought it was a car accident.
我以为是汽车车祸
I don’t know.
管他的
Either that or a science explosion, just something.
被这个或被科学爆炸实验炸死
You’re gonna be dead soon. That’s the good news. Okay?
你们马上就解放了 好吗
So, can you just focus for a few more days?
再好好干几天
Yes. Good.
好的 不错
So, give me some fake hugs right now and laugh real loud
快假装抱着我 使命笑
like we’re the happiest family on earth.
想象我们是世界上最开心的家庭
Okay. Is that possible?
好的 可以吗
And laughing, laughing, laughing.
笑 快笑
Okay, that’s it. Laugh louder, louder.
就像这样 大声点
I love you guys!
我爱你们
Hey, sweetie! What’s going on? What’s up?
宝贝 怎么了
So, kids, I just got off the phone with your mom
孩子们 我刚打电话给你们妈妈
and you guys are gonna have plenty of time
明天你们有足够的时间
to spend with your dad tomorrow
和老爸在一起
because she and I are gonna have a nice, long spa day.
因为我和她要去做整天的温泉水疗
Awesome! Awesome, awesome.
太好了 太好了
You guys are so…
你们太
I’ll see you in a minute, okay? I love you.
我等会过来 爱你
Okay, he’s losing it. Okay, good night.
好了 他要发飚了 晚安
He’s losing it.
他要发飚了
All right, here we go. Everybody out.
好了 都下来
So, what are we doing?
我们要干什么
Palmer forgot her camera in the room
帕莫尔出去忘带相机了
so I’m gonna have a surprise for her
等她做完水疗回来
when she gets back from the spa.
我想给她个惊喜
A stolen camera?
你偷了她相机
No, some pictures of us having a great time
不 照些我们玩的照片
reassuring her of all the fun we have together.
让她知道我们玩得多开心
I forgot to flush the toilet before I left the hotel.
出门前我忘了冲厕所
So she’s gonna have two surprises.
她现在有两个惊喜了
Okay. No one’s supposed to crap as much as you do.
当然 没人拉得比你多
You gotta look into that Pepto Bismol or something.
改天去开点肠胃药
Here’s your putters. Bing.
球杆 你一支
And a bam. Thank you.
她一支 谢谢
Let’s just look right in the camera. And we’re having fun.
看着镜头 高兴点
And we’re a family. We love each other.
我们是一家人 相亲相爱
And boo!
笑
All right, let’s do the old Michael hit a putt shot. Okay?
好 这次假装迈克尔进球了
So boom, that’s in the hole.
啪 进洞了
And you’re excited about that,
你很兴奋
and we’re happy for him, and…
真为他高兴
Maggie just hit the ball, but you followed through too much
麦姬击球 但用力过猛
and it made you fall on your back.
自己摔了一跤
Okay, but… Look at this.
好 继续
You’re laughing, but I’m a concerned father, so I’m like,
你笑她 但我太关心孩子 所以我大叫
“Oh, my God.”
天啊 没事吧
All right, now,
好 这次
let’s just laugh at something I say, because I’m a funny dad.
我说了个笑话让你们笑死了 因为我是个幽默的爸爸
You’re very close with me, and you think I’m funny, and…
你靠着我站 你觉得我很好笑 然后
Why are we always laughing?
为什么我们总在笑
Is there something wrong with us?
我们有毛病吗
No. You’re just amused by everything I say. So, here we go.
不 你被我逗乐了 快
Can we take a break? Do something really fun?
能歇会吗 玩点真正好玩的
No, we’re not doing anything fun, man.
我们不是在玩
We’re here to fake having fun.
我们是假装很好玩
Come on. Right to the camera.
来 对着镜头
Don’t worry. We never have fun with our real dad either.
算了 反正跟真正爸爸也没开心过
All right. How’s this?
好 要不这样
I’ll teach you how to swim, okay?
我教你游泳 好吗
Before your mother gets back
在你妈做完四个小时的
from the “Spa day” in four hours?
温泉水疗 之前
Is that even possible? Yeah.
有可能吗 当然
But we’re gonna take one more picture, if you don’t mind.
但还要再照一张 坚持下
Make that two pictures. Maggie.
两张 麦姬
Throw this straight in the air. Make it look like…
把这举着 像是要把它扔上天
On the count of three, one, two, three.
数三下 一 二 三
Okay.
行了
Now, Michael, lay down.
换你 迈克尔 躺下
On your back. And…
放你后面
Yeah, all the way over. See if you can clench this.
整个躺下 夹着这个
Now look like you’re in pain.
假装很痛
It took my friend a whole summer to learn how to swim.
我朋友学游泳学了整个夏天
How’re you gonna teach me so quick?
你怎么能让我这么快学会
I’m gonna do it the same way my grandfather taught me.
照以前我爷爷教我的方法
Don’t worry.
别担心
It took Grandpa eight hours to teach us.
爷爷花了八个小时教会我们
It was a nightmare.
像个噩梦
But there’s two of us here now, and we’re sober.
现在我们俩都在 也没喝酒
You’re gonna be fine.
你不会有事
All right. You’re doing great.
你做得不错
Is he doing great? He’s doing great.
他做得不错吧 很不错
Okay. We want to advance a little, though.
下面加大难度
I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie.
游到艾迪叔叔那里
If you get there without touching the bottom,
如果你游到那 没有沉下去
we’ll give you a dolphin cookie.
就给你一个海豚饼干
Is that what your grandpa gave you?
你爷爷也是给你这个吗
No, Grandpa gave us something he’d call a Heineken.
不是 我爷爷给的是喜力[啤酒]
I want one of those.
我也要那个
No. Stick with the dolphin cookie.
不行 我们还是吃海豚饼干吧
Yeah. They hurt less when they get thrown at your head.
是啊 这东西砸你头上也不会痛
God, he was a sick man.
天 那个老混蛋
Yeah. Okay? Are we ready?
好了 准备好了吗
Don’t think about it. Commit. Kick, kick.
别多想 上 注意踢腿
Get the cookie. Move your feet.
饼干在这 快过来
Kick, kick!
踢腿 使劲
Right there! Reach for it! You got it!
加油 你办得到
Doing good, buddy!
干得好 伙计
There you go!
你做到啦
My boy! That was terrific, buddy.
儿子 你干得太棒了
Have your cookie. We’re gonna move on, though.
吃完了 咱们再继续
Devlin?
德芙琳
Devlin? Yeah?
德芙琳 啊
So, Danny’s birthday is next week,
是这样的 下星期就是丹尼的生日
and I have no idea what to get him.
我还不知道该送他点什么
Well, don’t get him a tie.
千万别送他领带
He has 100 of them and he never wears them.
他有一大堆 却从来不戴
That’s good to know.
谢谢提醒
He loves books on tape for his car.
他喜欢在车里听书
Fishing gear.
喜欢渔具
Loves it. Doesn’t use it.
但只是喜欢 却从来不用
Can’t take the fish off of the hook
连把鱼从钩子上摘下来都不会