真的 你四处看看
see if you can find
能不能找到
someone decent looking.
那些看起来不吓人的
How ’bout her?
她是吗
The lady from Saw?
《电锯惊魂》女郎吗
Fine. Who did you do?
好吧 哪个是你的作品
All right. I hate to rat the guy out,
我讨厌出卖别人
but see that guy over there?
看到那个家伙吗
You mean Sexy Ass?
你是说那个翘屁屁吗
Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby.
我没遇到他之前 他是个平屁男
Really?
真的啊
His back went straight to his legs. No kidding.
从后背笔直到腿 一点不开玩笑
He’d go to the bathroom,
他上厕所
he’d slide right in the toilet.
会从马桶上滑下来
I know, I know, that’s really romantic, isn’t it?
我知道 那有点不切实际了 是吗
So, North Carolina, how long have you lived here in LA?
北卡罗来纳人 你来洛杉矶多久了
I’ve been here almost two years.
差不多两年了
Uh huh. That’s a lot of auditioning for you.
这里试镜的机会很多
You think I’m an actress?
你认为我是个演员吗
I guarantee you’re an actress.
我肯定你是个演员
Well, guess again, Doc. I teach sixth grade math.
再猜猜 医生 我教六年级数学
They got no schools in North Carolina to teach at?
在北卡罗来纳不能教吗
My parents divorced.
我八年级的时候
Had a pretty nasty one, actually,
父母离异了
when I was in the eighth grade. Mmm hmm.
闹得很厉害
And… I don’t know. I got tired of picking sides, so…
我实在是厌倦了选跟谁在一起
Okay. I thought I’d make a change and,
我当时想 倒不如换换环境
yeah, move out to LA.
就搬到了洛杉矶
You came to the right place.
你来对地方了
No one gets divorced in LA.
洛杉矶没人离婚
I’ve never hung out with a girl your age.
我从没和你这年龄段的女孩一起出来过
This is nice.
感觉很好
Oh, no. Your first lie to me.
好吧 这是你第一次对我撒谎
You’re good. All right.
你很厉害 好吧
I’ve never hung out with a girl your age and
我从没和你这年龄段的女孩一起出来
connected the way we are right now.
并感觉如此心灵相通过
Actually, I’ve never connected with,
实际上 我从没
I don’t think any girl at any age.
和任何女孩觉得心灵想通过
See? I can tell when you’re lying
看到没有 我知道你什么时候说谎
and when you’re telling the truth. Oh.
什么时候说真话
Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth.
是啊 我的第二句是真的
I know.
我知道
Oh, my God. That was the greatest night of my life.
上帝啊 这是我有生以来最棒的一夜
Yeah. This feels like it could be…
是啊 这感觉
I don’t know, a real thing.
很真实
It’s a thing all right, Palmer.
是很真实 帕莫尔
Well, I have to get to work,
我得去上班了
but how ’bout I take your number
告诉我你的电话号码
and then you can take me out on a proper date next time?
下次你就可以带我出去来个正式约会
I got a business card in my pocket if you wanna get that.
我的名片在口袋里
You better call.
你最好打电话给我
You better not just, just leave me hanging.
最好别把我晾一边等着你电话
I’d get it for you myself,
我可以自己拿给你
but I don’t want you to see me naked in the daylight.
但我不想在白天 被你看到我的裸体
It could be a deal breaker.
说不定因此你就毁约了
What’s this?
这是什么
A circle?
一个圈圈
A wedding ring? You’re married?
结婚戒指 你结婚了
No, no, no, I’m not, I’m not married.
不 不 我没结婚
That is a… That is… That’s not mine.
那是… 那不是我的
Whose wedding ring is in your pants, Danny?
谁的婚戒会在你口袋里呢 丹尼
All right, listen, just give me a minute to explain this.
听着 给我一分钟来解释
Please.
请讲
It’s gonna take more than a minute.
可能一分钟讲不太完
I am such an idiot!
我真是太蠢了
No, no, no, no, no.
不 不 不
Don’t call me!
别给我打电话
No, Palmer!
别这样 帕莫尔
I told you that this whole fake marriage thing
我告诉过你 虚假的婚姻
was just gonna come and bite you in the ass.
迟早会毁了你
Why don’t you just tell her the truth?
为什么不告诉她事实呢
You think I can tell her the truth?
你觉得能说出来吗
Let me practice. You be her right now.
我来练习一下 你现在假装是她
Oh, good. Okay, hold on.
好的 等等
Okay. She’s not like that, but anyways.
她不是那样子 但无所谓了
Um, I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes…
我有时会戴着这个假婚戒…
You’re a pig.
你是头猪
Sorry. You’re a pig.
抱歉 你是头猪
What’s wrong? You’re walking really weird.
怎么了 你走路怪怪的
My back. I slept on the beach last night.
我的背不舒服 昨晚睡在沙滩上
God Almighty.
上帝啊
When are you gonna strengthen your spine?
你什么时候锻炼一下你的脊椎啊
Seriously, Flomax.
说真的 用盐酸坦洛新
You gotta work out more than once a month.
你得一个月里练上几次
I can’t, I don’t have time to work out.
我没时间锻炼
You do. You can’t say that, Danny.
你有时间 别那样说 丹尼
My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym.
我妈常说加里·格兰特从不去健身房[美国著名影星]
Only took the stairs, every day, never an elevator.
只是每天跑楼梯 从不坐电梯
You wanna hear my impression of
你想不想听听我对
Cary Grant’s butler?
加里·格兰特的管家的印象
Watch. What?
看好了 什么
Hello? No, he’s dead.
你好 不 他已经死了
Okay, bye bye.
好的 再见
That’s good. That’s funny.
太好了 真搞笑
Mom, give me some money.
妈妈 给我点钱
Hi. How are you?
你好吗
Nice to see you, kids.
很高兴见到你们
Please be polite and say hello to Dr. Maccabee.
请讲礼貌 向麦卡比医生问个好
‘Ello, Dr. Danny.
你好 丹尼医生
‘Ow is you today?
今天过得好吗
Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle?
那是我的同事 杜丽特医生吗
Why is she talking like that?
她为什么那样说话
She’s been working on some accents.
她最近在学口音
I am takin’ an acting class this summer, I is.
这个夏天我在上表演课
Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am.
我就是下一个麦莉·塞勒斯
How ’bout you, young man?
小伙子 你怎么样
Do you like Hannah Montana?
你喜欢《汉娜蒙塔娜》吗
No. I like Californication.
不 我喜欢《加州靡情》[成人画面较多]
When do you ever watch Californication?
你什么时候看的《加州靡情》
Rosa lets us watch Showtime
玫瑰打电话给她男朋友的时候
when she calls her boyfriend.
就让我们看电视
Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes!
吃蘑菇 吃蘑菇 真棒
Mmm. You run a tight ship at home, huh?
你家规甚严啊
Dr. Danny?
丹尼医生
Yeah?
怎么了
Will you take me to Hawaii
你会带我们去夏威夷吗
so I can swim with the dolphins?
这样我就能和海豚一起游泳了
Take you to Hawaii? No.
带你去夏威夷 不会
I saw a show on the Discovery Channel.
我在《探索频道》看到个纪录片
They say in Hawaii they have dolphins
他们说 在夏威夷 付钱后
that you can swim with if you pay money.
就能和海豚一起游泳
Okay.
知道了
But I don’t have any money.
但我一分钱没有
And my mom says you’re rich.
妈妈说你很有钱
Michael! No, it’s fine.
迈克尔 没事
Maybe you should make your own money.
你该自己去赚钱
Maybe a paper route or something like that?
去送送报纸或干些其他什么
‘Cause rich people don’t give other people trips.
因为有钱人不会白送别人去旅游
That’s why they remain rich. You understand?
因此他们才能继续富有 你明白吗
But my mom says you do charity for kids all the time.
但妈妈说你一直在为儿童慈善捐款
I do charity work like