很显然 丹尼尔根本不觉得自己有错
Obviously, Daniel didn’t think he was doing anything wrong.
-对《时代》爆这种料吗 -没错
– By talking to Time about it? – Yeah.
我不懂你什么意思
I don’t know what that means.
你说 你告诉我这件事的时候
You said, when you told me the story…
你说你跟丹说
You said you said to Dan,
“《时代》杂♥志♥有没有问你
“Did Time magazine ask you
我是不是有个叫丽萨的女儿”
if I had a daughter named Lisa?”
丹说”有”
And Dan said, “Yeah.”
我要说的是他回答你的话干脆又诚实
My point was that he answered you simply and honestly
因为他根本不觉得自己做错了什么
because he didn’t think he’d done anything wrong.
乔安娜 除了我根本没有一个女儿叫丽萨
Except, Joanna… Except I don’t have a daughter named Lisa.
现在这个故事变成
And this story is now about
我是如何否认父亲身份还去验血的
how I’m denying paternity and took a blood test.
所以这张图是…
And that’s why there’s a picture of…
不知道他妈的什么鬼东西
I don’t know what the fuck that is.
《时代》年度机器
《时代》年度机器
计算机时代来临
计算机时代来临
所以封面上是台个人电脑
That’s why there’s a picture of a PC on the cover
而不是我跟Mac
instead of a picture of me and the Mac.
我不知道该说什么了
I don’t know what to tell you.
本来我应该是《时代》杂♥志♥的年度人物
I was supposed to be Time magazine’s Man of the Year.
结果丹·科特克横空出世
And then Dan Kottke was born.
-那个… -什么
– Well… – What?
-她在等你 -谁
– She’s waiting for you. – Who?
-克里斯安 -布伦南?
– Chrisann. – Brennan?
她们在外面的走廊里
They’re out in the hall.
她们从早上七点开始
They’ve been sitting in the
就坐在观众席的后面
back of the auditorium since 7:00 this morning.
我现在不见克里斯安
I’m not having a session with Chrisann right now.
我们邀请了335位记者来参加发布会
We issued 335 press credentials for the launch.
史蒂夫 你要是惹怒了克里斯安
Steve, you piss off Chrisann,
她可以站在大厅接受335家采访
she’s gonna stand in the lobby and give 335 interviews,
而你 将会渴望跟丹·科特克的平静生活
and you, pal, will be longing for the halcyon days of Dan Kottke.
我去把这事解决了
Let me get this over with.
但你别走 待在这儿
But don’t leave. You’re gonna stay here.
什么 不行 我不干
What? No. I’m not.
不行 你在这儿
No. There’s less of a chance
场面混乱的可能性更小
of a scene if you stay here.
她会冷静一些
She’ll be cool.
这事非常私人…
I find all this excruciatingly personal and-and…
我不要待在这儿
I-I’m… I’m not staying.
不行 拜托了
No. Come on.
我不想跟克里斯安处独处一室
I don’t wanna be in a room alone with Chrisann.
你陪我
This is me and you.
好吧
Fine.
史蒂夫
Steve.
真是意外
This is a surprise.
进来吧
Why don’t you come on in?
谢谢
Thank you.
你也来吗
You coming too?
当然 我不会留她在走廊上的
Yes, I’m not gonna leave her in the hallway.
好吧 这走廊挺安全的 不过算了
Okay. It’s a safe hallway, but anyway.
还记得乔安娜·霍夫曼吗
You remember Joanna Hoffman?
她是Mac的市场部主管
She’s the head of marketing for the Mac.
很高兴见到你
Good to see you.
很高兴见到你 丽萨 你好
Nice to see you. Hello, Lisa.
我们见过 你还告诉我
We’ve met before, and you told me
你喜欢我说话的方式
you like the way I talk,
这是我听到过的最喜欢的话了
and that was my favorite thing anyone’s ever said to me.
-你是波兰人吗 -是的
– You’re from Poland. – Yes, I am.
-你知道它在哪儿吗 -地球最上面
– Do you know where that is? – The top of the Earth.
我想你说的是北极
I think you’re thinking of the North Pole.
我们时间有点紧
Well, we’re a little pressed for time, so…
你们慢慢聊 我先走了
I’ll leave you guys alone.
为什么要走 不是刚说好
Why do you wanna leave when you just said…
我要去看看赫茨菲尔德
I’m gonna check in with Hertzfeld.
我们要让一台电脑跟大家问好
We’re trying to get a computer to say hello,
但它现在太害羞了
but right now it’s being very shy.
你能来帮帮我吗 可以吗
Would you come help me? Is that okay?

Sure.
谢谢
Thank you.
我爸爸用我的名字命名了一台电脑
My dad named a computer after me.
我不是你的…
I’m not your…
其实 你知道这有多巧吗 丽萨
Actually, do you know what a coincidence is, Lisa?
不知道
No.
就好像你遇到了一个人
Like if you met someone.
你和她交朋友 发现她也叫丽萨
You made a new friend and her name was Lisa too.
就是这样的巧合
That would be a coincidence.
“丽萨”是”本地集成系统架构”的缩写
“Lisa” stands for “Local Integrated Systems Architecture.”
L-I-S-A
L-I-S-A.
只是个巧合
It’s a coincidence.
-你说完了 -对
– You about done? – Yeah.

Okay.
来吧 我们去让那台电脑问好
Come. Let’s make that computer say hi.
去吧 丽萨
Go ahead, Lisa.
那么 是正相反吗
So it was the other way around.
我是以那台电脑命名的
I was named after the computer?
都不是 只是个巧合
Nothing was named after anybody. It’s a coincidence.
走吧
Come on.
你怎么回事
What’s the matter with you?
你怎么回事 为什么要告诉她这些事
What’s the matter with you? Why are you telling her these things?
你为什么还跟她说我是她爸爸
Why are you still telling her I’m her father?
-是法官告诉她的 -不 不是
– A judge told her you’re her father. – No, he didn’t.
你好大的胆子 竟然跟《时代》杂♥志♥说
Where the hell do you get off telling Time magazine
我和28%的美国男人都睡过
I’ve slept with 28 percent of the men in America?
-我不是… -你哪儿来的胆子
– That’s not… – Where do you get off?
我根本不是那么说的
That’s not remotely what I said.
就在这儿
It’s right here.
首先 关于《时代》杂♥志♥ 我要跟你说
First of all, can I tell you something about Time magazine?
它就是个训练刺客的机构
I believe it’s a training facility for paid assassins.
上面的原话是”乔布斯坚称”
“Jobs insists”… I am quoting…
我没编造数据
I didn’t invent math.
“美国男性人口的
“…twenty-eight percent
百分之二十八
of the male population of the United States
都可能是孩子的父亲”
could be the father.”
我不是说你跟28%的美国男人睡过
I wasn’t saying you’ve slept with 28% of American men.
我是用一种算法 根据血检结果
I was using an algorithm based on the blood test
有94.1%的可能性我是她父亲
which said there was a 94.1% chance that I’m the father.
你这是公然地把我描绘成荡♥妇♥
You’re trying to publicly paint me as a slut and a whore.
相信我 我不想公然对你做任何事
Believe me, I’m not trying to publicly do anything with you.
《时代》有二百万读者 我怎么…
Two million people read Time. How am I supposed…
要是他们让我上封面 读者会更多
It would be more if they put me on the cover,
但丹·科特克却狠捅了我一刀
but Dan Kottke decided to kidney-punch me…
我昨天申请了福利救济
I applied for welfare yesterday.
-你说什么 -你好
– I’m sorry? – Hello!
我说我昨天申请了福利救济
I said I applied for welfare yesterday.
《时代》的文章说
The Time article said
你的苹果公♥司♥股票价值四亿四千一百万美元
your Apple stock was worth $441 million,
我想问问你对此感受如何
and I wanted to ask you how you felt about that.
我觉得苹果公♥司♥的股票价值被大大低估了
Well, I feel like Apple stock has been dramatically undervalued.
这时正是入股的好时候
This would be a good time to get in.
你的女儿和她母亲…
Your daughter and her mother…
-克里斯安… -正在接受福利救济
– Chrisann… – are on welfare.
我们住在门罗公园的窝棚里
We’re living in a hovel in Menlo Park.
我们交不起采暖费
We can’t pay the heating bills.
她穿着大衣睡觉
She sleeps in a parka.
-你女儿… -她不是我女儿
– Your daughter… – She’s not my daughter!
因为 据《时代》杂♥志♥报道
Because, as reported by Time magazine,
-我跟28%的美国男人睡过吗 -不
– I’ve slept with 28% of the men in America? – No.
恰好在丽萨出生九个月前 跟他们都睡过
All of them, exactly nine months before Lisa was born.

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