林中漫步（2015）

但你会尽最大的努力
but you give it your best shot.
最大的…
Your best…
既然都说出来了…
So, on that note…
出发 ?
-We go?
好的
Au right.
跟得上么 ?
You keeping up?
嗯 跟得上
Yeah. Keeping up.
我们这是远足还是散步啊 ?
Are we hiking or strolling?
怎么 这是在比赛吗 ?
What, is this a race?
我们要走11英里呢
We’re trying to do 11 miles.
要稳扎稳打 老弟 想累断腿你自己去好了
Slow and steady, pal. You wanna burn out your legs, go ahead.
– 尽量在午夜之前赶到那就好 – 嗯 好的
-Just be nice to get there before midnight. -Yeah, well.
那样确实好
That would be nice.
你们先走吧 自便
Go ahead. Help yourselves.
哦 天啊
Oh, jeez
好的 接我这个句子
Okay, complete the following sentence.
什么东西有上坡就有
What goes up must come
下坡
down.
下坡到底死哪去了 ?
What the hell happened to down?
总不会像缅因州的路那样一直是上坡吧
It can’t be uphill all the way to Maine.
借过
Coming through.
哦天啊 好的
Oh, my God. All right.
– 怎么啦 ? – 没啥
-What’s up? -Not much.
– 多好的天气啊 – 嗯 确实
-Beautiful day. -Yeah, it sure is.
– 借过 – 好
-Excuse me. -Okay.
一群小混♥蛋♥
Little fuckers.
这才只是个小山丘 伙计们
It’s just over the hill, guys.
– 老天 – 你还好吧 ?
– Boy. -You okay?
嗯 我差点摔下去了
Yeah. I almost fell off the log.
你估计我们已经走多远了 ?
How far do you figure we’ve gone?
哦 差不多四分之一英里吧
Oh, about a quarter of a mile.
我♥操♥
motherfuck
这么快又出发 ?
We’re going already?
杀了我吧
Just kill me now.
我不在乎你用什么办法 拜托 现在就杀了我吧
I don’t care how you do it, but please, just kill me now.
怎么 就这样 ? 不吃晚饭了 ?
-What, that’s it? No dinner?
好啊
Hiya.
– 你还记得兰道尔农场吗 ? – 当然
– You remember the Randall Farm? -Of course.
现在变成沃尔玛超♥市♥了
Super-Walmart now.
老天
Christ.
那间老汽车影院 ?
The old drive-in theater?
别告诉我
– Don’t tell me.
– 成了斯巴鲁车行了 – 不
– Subaru dealership now. -No.
嗯 我第一次享受口♥交♥就是在那
Yeah. I got my first blowjob there.
在斯巴鲁车行 ?
– In the Subaru dealership?
你这老花开得太慢了吧
-Bit of a late bloomer, huh?
几周以前我碰到了吉米·邓肯
I bumped into Jimmy Duncan a few weeks back.
还记得他么 ?
You remember him?
嗯 他妈妈是在图书馆工作来着 ?
-Yeah. His mom worked at the library?
你当然会记得他的妈妈
‘Course you remember his mom.
是啊 她很和善的
Yeah, she was nice.
而且还没有奶罩
And she didn’t own a bra.
就算她有 也从没戴过
– Well, if she did, she never wore it.
天 我爱死那间图书馆了
Man, I loved that library.
– 嘿 布莱森 ? – 嗯 ?
– Hey, Bryson? -Yeah?
这些年你一直都在
Have you really kept in
跟道格·格拉温斯基联♥系♥ ?
touch with Doug Glawinski all these years?
没有 不常联♥系♥ 怎么了 ?
No, not at all. Why?
你邀了他 所以我只是有点好奇
You invited him, so I was just curious.
哦 好吧 我把能想到的人都邀了一遍
Well, yeah. I invited everyone I could think of.
哦 可不是所有人
No, not everyone.
我可是从道格那才听说的
I heard about it from Doug.
我不记得有你的电♥话♥
I don’t think I had your number.
而你却有道格的的电♥话♥ ?
You had Doug’s number?
好吧 如果这样说能让你好受一点 我一点都不喜欢道格
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I really don’t like Doug.
这可不怪你
Well, I don’t blame you.
不过你这话也没让我好受点
I’m not sure how that’s supposed to make me feel better, though.
好吧
Yeah.
我确实没三思就说出口了
I guess I really didn’t think that through.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
你在埋自己的屎 ?
You burying your shit?
是的
Yes.
– 在树林里 ? – 是啊
-In the woods? -Yeah.
哦 布莱森 我想死你了
Oh, Bryson, I’ve missed you.
谢谢
Thank you.
真等不及想在你书里读到这事了
Can’t wait to read about this in the book.
我没打算写书
I’m not writing a book.
嗨
Hi.
你们是在这野营的 ?
You guys camping here?
不 我们住这
No, we live here.
你们在吃啥 ?
What are you guys eating?
面条 ? 噢 大错特错
Noodles? Ugh, big mistake.
面条根本不含营养 完全不含
Noodles have got, like, no energy in them. I mean, like, zero.
我是玛丽·艾伦 那是你的帐篷么 ?
I’m Mary Ellen. Is that your tent?
嗯
Yeah.
噢 大错特错
Oh, big mistake.
他们肯定在野营店里把你狠宰了一通
They must have seen you coming at the camping store.
– 这玩意你花了多少钱 ? – 我不记得了
-How much did you pay for it? -I don’t remember.
太多了 那就是价格
Too much. That’s how much.
你该买♥♥个三季帐篷的 朋友
Shoulda got a three-season tent, my friend.
这就是三季帐篷
It is a three-season tent.
请原谅我这么说 不过这简直太傻了
Pardon me for saying so, but it is, like, seriously dumb
连个三季帐篷都没有 就在三月份跑到这来
to come out here in March without a three-season tent.
现在是四月 而且那确实是三季帐篷
It’s April. And it is a three-season tent.
这顶才叫三季帐篷
That’s a three-season tent.
不 不 这俩都是三季帐篷
No, no. Those are both three-season tents.
不 我可不觉得
No. I don’t think so.
你们今天走了多少英里啊 ?
How many miles did you guys do today?
差不多10英里
Around 10.
10英里 哦 你们肯定身体特别不在状态
Ten? Oh, you must be really out of shape.
我都走了14.2英里了 从古奇山口开始走的
I did fourteen-two. Started at Gooch Gap.
呃 我们也是 从那到这是8.4英里
Well, so did we. And it’s eight point four.
– 不可能 – 真的 就是8.4英里
-No. -It is. It’s eight point four.
抱歉 但我很清楚自己究竟走了多少英里
Excuse me. But I think I ought to Know. I just walked it.
我们也是 就是8.4英里
So did we. And it’s eight point four.
那就各执己见吧
Tomato, tomahto
知道你们的问题在哪嘛 ?
You know what your problem is?
你太胖了
You’re too fat.
你说啥 ?
Excuse me?
你本该在进入山道前
You should have dropped some
好好减减吨♥位的
of that tonnage before you hit the trailhead.
你这种体型
I mean, you’re liable to
在这种地方很容易犯心脏病的
have some sort of serious heart thing out here.
所以我只能自己走 因为我认识的每个人都很无聊
And so I just walk alone, because everybody I know is boring.
这么多人中 只有我自己不会把我无聊致死
I’m the only person I know who doesn’t bore myself to death.
何况 只要我跟别人一起走
Also, if I walked with someone else,
就只能看着他们不断的
I’d have to watch them make,
一次又一次的犯错
you know, mistake after mistake after mistake,
然后我就开始发疯
and I’d go crazy, and
然后我就没法在小路上保持清醒了
then I’d not be sane on the trail, you know?
就像 “玛丽·艾伦 你认识的人里谁才是”
I was like, “Mary Ellen, wno’s the only person you know
“唯一不会出岔的人 ?” 答案就是 我
“Who doesn’t mess up?” And it’s like, me.
还有和我一起的这人 傻的不行
I went through this person, it was, like, dumb.
还有另一个 超级无聊 这个人
That person, boring. This person,
好傻 好傻 好傻 无聊 无聊
dumb. Dumb, dumb. Boring, boring.
我知道你在想啥 我没结婚
I know what you’re thinking. I’m not married.
我想知道为啥呢 ?
I wonder why?
我是有个男友
Well, I do have a boyfriend,
可是他在正在弗罗里达服刑
but he’s in Florida and he’s in prison.