爱情与灵药（2010）

Hi, there. Jamie Randall here.
你们好 我是杰米·兰德尔
Just reporting from bed, having just fucked my girlfriend.
正在床上为大家报道 我刚干完我女友
Don’t use that word.
别用那个词
What? You use “fuck” all the time.
怎么了 你天天把”干”挂在嘴边上
No, not “fucking. ” “Girlfriend. ”
不是”干” 是”女友”
That’s what you are.
你是我女友
I am?
是吗
Yeah, you are.
是的 没错
I guess I am.
也许是吧
Jesus.
天哪
No, Mom.
不 妈妈
No, it’s not an aphrodisiac. It’s a vasodilator.
这不是春♥药♥ 是一种血管扩张剂
A vasodilator. No, Ma…
血管扩张剂 不是的 妈
No, just… No, I…
我只是 不…
Yeah, I’ve already sold 2,000 prescriptions this month alone.
是 我仅这个月就有二千张处方的销量
It’s a lot of money.
这可是一大笔钱
Okay, I really can’t talk. Maggie needs me.
好了 不能说了 玛吉找我
Okay, bye.
再见
I thought you said it was 1,200 prescriptions.
我记得你说的是一千二百张处方
It is.
没错
Well, why did you tell her 2,000?
那你为什么说是二千张
Did I?
我说过吗
Are you kidding?
你开玩笑的吗
I don’t know, it just sounded better.
不知道 听起来好听
You told your mother a lie because it sounds better?
你对你妈说谎 就为了好听吗
Look, she doesn’t know numbers.
不 她对数字不敏感
Do you tell me lies because they sound better?
你有没有因为听上去好点而骗过我
No!
没有
Well, why did you do it with her?
那你为什么对她说谎
Because she wants to know that I’m doing well…
因为她想望子成龙
Okay, but you are doing well,
但你已经很有出息了
so why do you need to make it sound better?
何必还要再好听点呢
Okay, you know what?
好吧
I will call her back up right now, and I will correct my mistake.
我马上给她打回去更正我的错误
Okay?
怎么样
Tell me four good things about yourself.
叙述你的四个优点
Excuse me?
什么
You heard me.
你听到了
Okay.
好吧
Four good things about myself.
我的四个优点
I can…
我能
Why are we doing this?
我们为什么要这样做
This is just… I don’t…
我真的…
You can’t even think of four good things about yourself.
你连四个优点也说不出来
What? I totally can!
我当然能
Do you think that you’re generous?
你觉得你慷慨吗
Do you think you’re sweet?
那你温柔吗
Not particularly.
一般
Do you think that you’re smart?
你聪明吗
Oh, my God!
天哪
Look at you.
看看你自己
You’re this
你就是那种
talented,
才华横溢
charming, handsome, capable, determined, smart man.
英俊迷人 果断聪慧的男人
I am?
是吗
Yes, you are.
是的
I can juggle.
我会玩杂耍
Does it make it longer? Time or inches?
它变长了吗 时间还是尺寸
How come we can’t take it? You can.
我们为什么不能吃 你们能吃
Are you saying that we can get hard?
你是说我们也能硬吗
There is some indication of increased lubrication.
研究证明可产生大量粘液
If they come inside you, does it burn? No.
内♥射♥时会过于激烈吗 不会
How about in your mouth?
那口♥射♥呢
Jamie, we want more Viagra!
杰米 我们还要伟哥
More! More Viagra! More Viagra!
伟哥 伟哥
Stan! Come here. Come over here!
斯坦 到这儿来 过来
Ladies, this is Dr. Stan Knight, king of all internists.
女士们这位是斯坦利·奈特医生 内科之王
Right? And this is…
这位是
Cassie.
凯西
But my friends call me Lisa.
但我朋友叫我丽莎
Lisa wants to marry a doctor, so good luck.
丽莎就想嫁一个医生 祝你好运
Oh, dear.
好的
Ladies, next round is on me! Okay?
女士们 下回我请客
Nice jacket, man.
夹克很帅 伙计
Did you get laid?
打炮了吗
Yeah. Yeah?
打了 是吗
Six times.
梅开六度
I was scared that you were.
你太猛了吧
You’re crazy.
你野味儿十足
What?
怎么了
Is everything okay?
没事吧
Jamie… Honey?
甜心
Honey, your heart’s beating really fast. I know.
你的心脏跳得很快 我知道
What’s…
怎么
Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie.
杰米 杰米
Jamie. It’s okay. It’s okay.
杰米 没关系
Talk to me.
跟我说说
I…
我
I…
我
Okay, you know what? Just breathe. Don’t even worry about it.
好的 听我说 深呼吸 别担心
Just breathe.
呼吸
It’s okay.
没事的
I…
我…
I love you. What?
我爱你 什么
Just give me a second, okay?
让我喘口气 好吗
Oh, God, I do.
天哪
No, you don’t. Don’t touch me!
不 你不是 别碰我
Okay. Do you want a glass of water? I’m sorry.
好 要喝点水吗 实在对不起
No, it’s fine. It’s fine.
不 没关系 没关系
A little water? Yeah, water.
喝点水 好的 水
Okay, see? Here you go. Here you go.
水来了 水来了
I love you. I can’t stop saying it.
我爱你 我情不自禁说我爱你
Just stop saying that, okay? I can’t. I love you.
你不用 说点别的 我不能 我爱你
You don’t understand.
你不明白
I’ve never said that to anyone before.
我从没对别人说过这话
You’ve never said “I love you”? No.
你从没说过”我爱你”吗 没有
You never said it to your parents?
没对你父母说过吗
No.
没
You never said it to your brother?
没对你弟弟说过吗
Jesus, you’re more fucked up than I am.
你比我还混♥蛋♥
I once said it to a cat.
我还对猫说过
Okay, that makes me feel better. It does? Okay, good.
真会安慰人 是吗 好吧 好了
You can hold me now.
你可以抱我了
Okay.
好吧
Joshie!
乔什
That is disgusting.
真恶心
Jamie, I didn’t know you were coming home!
杰米 我不知道你要回来
Listen, it’s not what it looks like, okay?
听我解释 事情不是你想得那样
Well, it kind of is, but…
虽然有点 但
Okay, just chill.
好吗 冷静
Yeah, chill. Oh, I’m sorry,
搞错没
I thought I just caught my brother masturbating while watching me have sex.
我刚刚逮到你边手♥淫♥ 边看我的性♥爱♥录像
Well, I was focusing on her.
我看的是她
Oh, “her. ”
她
You mean my girlfriend! I’m sorry. No.
你是说看我女友 不是
Not on her!
不是她本人
On her body parts! Does video make everything look bigger?
是她身体的某部分 只是视频把东西放大了点
Because I didn’t think her tits were that big.
我不认为她乳♥头♥有那么大
Then I saw you,
然后我就看到了那个
and I was like, “What, did an anaconda get loose on the bed?”
就像一条美女大蟒躺在那里