Distinguished villains,
我叫格鲁
my name is Gru.
我说话声音好像太大了
I feel like I’m talking too loud
但实际上 咱们距离这么近
even though our proximity
根本不需要我喊得这么大声
doesn’t require this kind of volume.
如果你告诉十岁的我
If you told me when I was ten
我能有机会接任我最最喜欢的坏蛋
that I would have the chance to fill the shoes
威酷魔王
of my favorite villain ever,
成为坏蛋六人组的一员
Wild Knuckles, I would say,
我会说 你脑子进水了吧
“You got rocks in your head.”
但介于我已经十一又四分之三岁了
But now that I’m 11 and three quarters,
一切就变得合理多了
it makes a lot more sense.
你们谁让这小屁孩来面试的
All right, who let the kid in?
我以为他只是个头小了点而已
I thought he was a tiny man.
你是哪根筋搭错了吗
What’s wrong with you?
你不会觉得一个乳臭未干的小屁孩能成为大坏蛋吧
You seriously think a puny little child can be a villain?
我能的
Um, yes.
我…我超级卑鄙
I-I am pretty despicable.
惹我可没好果子吃
You don’t want to cross me.
偷取古老的宝石 肆意搞破坏
Evil is for adults
这些大人做的坏事 才是真正的恶行
who steal powerful ancient stones and wreak havoc.
你这种毛都没长全的小屁孩
And not for tubby little punks
应该乖乖待在学校里 好好学习
who should be at school, learning,
课间休息忙着打闹
taking a recess,
啃着手指头喊妈妈
sucking his thumb.
啃着手指头…
“Sucking his…”
等你什么时候做出了点真正的成绩 再回来见我
Come back when you’ve done something to impress me.
下一个是谁
Who’s next?
我是飞行侠
I am Wing Man,
我将成为坏蛋六人组的一员
the next member of the Vicious Six.
请看 飞行的力量
Behold, the power of flight!
行了 不闹了
All right, joke’s over.
是时候玩点真的了
Showtime.
这家伙块头不小啊
This is a big one.
对 对
Yeah, yeah.
往左一点 没错
To the left. That’s right.
把他拉过来 把他拉过来 伙计们
Bring him in, bring him in, boys.
大家赶紧过来
Everybody pile on!
他抢走了那块宝石
He took the stone!
我来抓住他
I’ll get him!
封锁整栋大楼
Lock down the building.
嗷 嗷
Oh! Oh!
哈 -什么 呃
Huh? -What? -Uh…
这里什么事也没发生
Nothing to see here.
噢 -哦 瞧瞧你
Oh. -Oh, look at you.
弗兰普顿再世 这专辑不错 好眼光
Frampton Comes Alive! Nice choice.

I…
赶紧走
Just keep walking.
那是谁 一个小屁孩
Who the heck is that? A kid?
哦 是你们
Oh, guys.
你好啊 -小老板
Bello. -Mini-Boss!
你们在这儿干嘛
What are you doing here?
行吧 赶紧上来
Okay, just get on.
他去哪了
Which way did he go?
那个小扒手在那边
There’s that little thief!
快追 快追
Go! Go, go, go!
大家散开
Split up!
咚咚咚 快递
Knock, knock. Delivery.
那个小魔头
That demon child!
奥托 把宝石带回地下室
Otto, take the stone back to the lair.
我来引开他们
I’ll distract them.
快走 快 快 快
Go! Go, go, go!
呃 呃 哦
Uh, uh… Ooh!
噢 别掉链子
Oh, not now.
快啊 快啊
Come on, come on!

Oh!
我来了 宝贝
Yeah, baby.
我来搞定他
I’ll handle this.
但愿你能好好享受人生最后几分钟
Hope you enjoy the rest of your short life.
拜托 快点火
Please work.
快啊 快啊 快啊
Come on, come on, come on!
好耶
Yay!
我们会抓到你的 小不点
We’re coming for you, tiny man.
耶 -耶
Yeah! -Yeah!
乔什 音量调大
Josh, pump it up.
调大 大 大
Up, up, up!
他们说小孩当不了真正的坏蛋
They all said the kid couldn’t be a real villain.
然而
Well…
这个小孩刚刚从世界上
this kid just stole something
最坏的坏蛋们手中偷走了宝石
from the worst villains in the world.
等我把宝石带回去 他们就会说
When I bring it back to them, they are going to say…
“我们犯了个大错
“We have made a terrible mistake.
请你加入我们吧 格鲁 求你了”
Please join us. Please, Gru.”
然后我就会说 那好吧
And I will say, “Yes!
我会成为坏蛋六人组里最年轻的成员
I will be the newest member of the Vicious Six.”
现在就等奥托来了
Now all I need is Otto.
他在哪
Where is Otto?
呃 啊 奥托快到了
Uh, uh, Otto le come-ay.
不不不 我不要奥托快到了
No, not “Otto le come-ay.”
他必须立刻马上到
He needs to “come-ay” now.
奥托 -小老板
Otto! -Mini-Boss!
你回来啦
There you are.
东西还在吧
Ah. You got it?
这是… 你在开玩笑吗
Is this… Are you pulling on my legs right now?
奥托 宝石在哪里
Otto, where is the stone?
宝石 啊 对 宝石
Le scone? Ah, si, le scone.

Ooh…
在这
Over there.
哦不
Oh, no!

Oh.
我的宝贝 我的宝贝
Mi amor. Mi amor.
我好爱你
I… love… you.
嗯哼
Huh?
你是不是用我的远大前程
Did you just trade my future
换来了一个宠物石
for a Pet Rock?!
啊 是的
Uh… si?
行吧
Okay.
奥托 这个生日派对在哪
Otto, where was this birthday party?
啊 啊
Uh, uh…
真是难以置信 不可理喻
This is unacceptable. Unacceptable!
我早就说过你们还没准备好
I told you guys that you weren’t ready
不能加入大联盟 真是不出所料
for the big leagues, and you have proven me correct.
你们只会搞砸一切
All you do is mess everything up.
搞 搞起来
Up? Pump it up!
不是放音乐 啊
No play-a musica! Ah!
我妈是对的
My mom was right.
你们不属于这里
You do not belong here.
你们被炒鱿鱼了
You’re fired!
我会找到那个宝石的
I’m going to find that stone.
我回来之前 你们赶紧收拾好东西走人
When I get home, you all better be gone.
小老板
Mini-Boss…
还有 奥托 别再废话了
And, Otto, close your yapper!

Oh.
乔什
Josh.

Si, si.
格鲁
Uh, Gru.
拜托了 别走
Por favor. Por favor.
凯文 不行
Kevin, no.
我还是一个人更合适
I will be better off on my own.
小老板
Mini-Boss!
噢 不

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