最后一周（2008）

所有事情 都必需有序进行
Everything had to be done in a certain order.
如有偏差
Deviating from this costs
她就会失眠 易怒
sleepless and general irritability.
尽管Ben努力再三 Samantha仍断然拒绝了
In spite of Ben’s efforts, Samantha steadfastly refused to
给电影 书籍
quantify movies, books and
他家人的举止表现
behavior of members of his family
按从1到10 评级打分
on the 1 to 10 scale.
Ben对此深感失望
A major disappointment to Ben,
因为他正是凭借此法 将生活各方面分门别类的
as this had to be the filter through which he classified many parts of his life.
令Ben颇为不满的另一点 是他们的情爱生活
Ben regretted how their sex life
也不再像以前那样兴致勃勃了
has lost some of its earlier carnal urgency.
你不介意的话 明天再来吧?
Do you mind if we wait until tomorrow?
最令人难以忍♥受的是
And finally, most annoying of all,
Samantha嚼东西时 会发出嘎吱声响
Samantha’s jaw clicked when she ate.
Ben坚信 即使多年以后
Ben was certain that as the years went by,
他仍难以对此视若无睹
he would see still even notice it.
(法文歌♥曲: 流浪的加拿大人) # 请告诉朋友们 #
(French song: Un Canadien errant) # Va, dis à mes amis #
# 他们永在我心 #
# Que je me souviens d’eux #
# 请告诉朋友们 #
# Va, dis à mes amis #
# 他们永在我心 #
# Que je me souviens d’eux #
你有一副好嗓子
You have a fantastic voice.
谢谢 其实很早以前
It’s nice of you to say that. I’ve long since given up
我就不指望自己能唱好歌♥了
on the hope that I can sing.
我音高辨识力挺好 你能唱得很好的
Well, I have perfect pitch, and you can definitely sing.
唱的太糟了!
That was dreadful!
看来 四年级时 教我的老师骗了我
My fourth grade teacher lied to me.
你在说什么?
What are you talking about?
算了 那无关紧要
It’s not important.
那么 你第二本书是关于什么的?
So what’s your second book about?
我只写过一本
I didn’t write a second novel.
那有想法了吗 还是..
Any ideas or…
噢 没有 屡次被拒出版 让我灵感全无了
I don’t know. Oh, no. Rejection pretty much killed my creativity.
小时候 爷爷常常对我引述爱迪生的话
You know, my grandfather used to quote Thomas Edison to me
听得我都厌了
ad nauseam when I was a kid.
他最喜欢的一句是
His favorite line,
“败者 常败于放弃之时
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
不知成功已近在咫尺”
how close they were to success when they gave up.”
好吧 即使坚持奋斗 最后也可能一无所获
Ok, but there’s perseverance, and then it’s just delusion.
可总会有人 愿相信格言 坚持下去
Well, I guess somebody gonna to fill the world’s delusional quotation.
如果生命只剩一周 你会做什么?
What would you do if you have one week to live?
也许 就做现在正做着的事吧
Maybe just do what I’m doing right now.
我并不关心明天
My mind is not on tomorrow or
或昨天 甚至是3小时前发生什么 我活在当下
yesterday, or even three hours from now. It’s just here.
你呢?
What would you do?
我会想和你温存
I’ll make love to you.
为什么?
Why?
我想寻找 最美妙的某一刻
I am just searching for a moment.
Samantha订到了机票 当晚便出发了
Samantha had managed to book a flight out that night
而不是照计划 隔天早上才走
instead of next morning as planned.
Ben醒来时 满足至极
When Ben woke, he was deliriously content.
也许是因为 从某种程度上来说
Maybe it was the fact that somehow,
他摆脱了病魔的缠扰
he has managed to outrun his demons.
但这趟旅途 确实比治疗
But this road made a lot more sense
更有意义
than treatment.
你整晚都在哪儿了?
Where were you all night?
你就这样原谅我了?
How can you just forgive me?
你一点都不难过?
Aren’t you upset?
我当然很难过
Of course I’m upset.
但至少 你实话实说了
But at least you didn’t lie about it.
况且现在 你的心情也是一团糟
And you are completely messed up right now.
所以我告诉自己 这事跟你我无关
So I’m telling myself it’s not even about us.
也许过段时间 我会很生气
Maybe later, I’ll be angry.
但是现在 有更重要的事 急需处理
But right now we have bigger things to deal with.
比如 你为什么还不回家
Like why wouldn’t you come home.
我没法回家
I just can’t.
这很自私
It’s selfish.
这… 毫无道理
It’s… it’s incomprehensible.
你太混♥蛋♥了 你该接受治疗
You’re being an asshole. Get treatment.
你认为自己毫无希望了?
Do you really think there’s no hope?
我还不想成为病人
I don’t want to be a patient yet.
因为 那可能是没意义的
Not if there’s no point.
所以 你一味逃避
So you just wanna keep running
都不尝试与病魔斗争一下? 这当然是有意义的
without even fighting? Of course, there’s a point.
如果旅行就是一种斗争呢?
What if this is fighting?
就是最该做的事呢?
What if this is the right thing to do?
我知道
I know,
今时不同往日了
everything has changed.
但是 这是为什么? 发生了什么事?
But Why? What happened?
不可能只是因为诊断
Because it couldn’t be just about the diagnosis.
因为 Samantha 我看到了一堵 我无法跨越的高墙
Because, Samantha, I am staring at a wall that I cannot get over.
因为我不再清楚 何为正确答案了
Because I don’t know what the good answers are anymore.
你就实话实说吧?
How about being honest?
好吧
Ok.
你知道 当医生说我得了癌症时
Do you wanna know what the first thing that went through my mind was
最先闪过我脑海的 是什么事吗?
when the doctor told me that I had cancer?
头一件事?
The very first thing?
那就是 我要取消婚礼
That is I wanted to call off the wedding.
我百分之百确定 不想结婚了
I was absolutely positive that I didn’t want to get married,
也不想工作 真的 什么都不想做了
and I didn’t want to go back to work, and really, I didn’t want to do anything.
那是正常反应 换作是我 也会想取消它
That’s a normal reaction. Even I wanted to call off the wedding.
但是 Samantha 这与癌症无关
But, Samantha, it’s not about the cancer.
我原先错误的生活方式 才是症结所在
It’s about the life that I built for myself.
我为何要买♥♥那么多保险?
Why am I over insured?
为何时刻都要强调责任感?
Why do I care so much about being responsible all the time?
又为何要对选用哪套厨具斤斤计较?
Why do I give a shit about what kind of appliances we’re putting into our kitchen?
我会变成我父亲的翻版 这样说并无不敬之意 我敬爱他
I am becoming my father. And no offense to my father, I love him.
他一生正派体面 但那不是我想要的生活
He is a decent man, but that was never my life’s ambition.
那你想要什么呢?
So what’s the alternative then?
这些!
This!
这些才是我想要的
This is the alternative.
你不能一直这样游荡下去
You can’t just keeping driving around forever.
总有一天 这会害了你的
At some point, this is gonna catch up with you.
况且 你有病在身
Especially you.
我只想多争取一点时间
I just want time.
如果 能把握剩下的每一天 真实地生活
If I can take each one of these days and turn them into life,
那么 这就是更好的选择
and then it has to be a better choice.
但是 你不一定会死啊
But you don’t have to be dead.
你可以跟病魔抗争
You know that you are allowed to go against the odds.
就算是为了我们 也该试一下
You are allowed to do this for us.
这不是我们俩的事
This isn’t about us.
这才是问题所在 Samantha 这是我一个人的事
That’s the problem, Samantha. This is about me.
你爱过我吗?
Did you ever love me?
但你应得更真诚的爱
Not the way you deserved.
那你为何还向我求婚?
So why did you asked me to marry you then?
因为当时我很想那样做
Because so much of me wanted to.
而且 我也想不出 不向你求婚的理由
And because I couldn’t think of a reason why not to anymore.
我从未想过… 结婚对你来说只是退而求其次
I never thought that… what we had was a fallback position.
只是求安稳
A safe choice.
我怎么一点都没察觉到?
How could I not have seen it?
那些踌躇不定 犹豫不决
All the indecision, all the hesitation,
原来都是我们之间的问题
they’re always about us,
而不只是因为你的病
not about you.
我真蠢
I’m an idiot.
Samantha
Samantha.
别跟着我
Don’t you dare follow me.
# 我们彻夜不眠 凝望着一只只船儿 #
# We stay up all night and watch the boats #
# 在大桥下方 火车飞驰而过 #
# From underneath the bridge, the trucks fly #
# 我鼓足勇气 才敢望向你 #
# And in the bravest moments I watch you #
# 我们的目光 #
# And we take turns #
# 时时交错而过 #
# looking away #