We’ve all pooped on the rug, Reggie.
那你也会在屎上打滚吗 玛吉？
Did you roll in it, Maggie? Did you roll in the poop?
因为我会在屎上打滚
Because guess what, I rolled in the poop.
这样确实不好
Okay, that’s not great.
我居然到现在才认识到
God, I can’t believe it took me this long to realize this,
每次他说我是“坏狗” 说的都没错
that every time he called me a bad dog, he was absolutely right.
全都是我的错
-It was all my fault. -Wow.
我不要再当坏狗了
Well, I’m not gonna be a bad dog anymore.
我要当个好孩子
It’s time for me to be a good boy.
老天 我为了这个混♥蛋♥冒着生命危险
Jesus, I cannot believe that I risked my life for this asshole
就是为了让他跟另一个混♥蛋♥团聚
just so he could go back and get with another asshole.
我做这些都是为了你 雷吉
I did all of this for you, Reggie.
你不是为了我
You didn’t do this for me.
你自己说的 不是因为道格
You said it yourself. This isn’t about Doug.
是为了所有被人类伤害的狗狗
This is about every single one of them who treated us like shit.
-是为了艾玛！ -雷吉！
-This is about Emma! -Reggie.
操♥你♥妈♥的
Fuck you.
还记得规则第三条吗 小虫？
Hey. How about rule number three, Bug?
一切靠自己 那我们是什么？
You’re on your own? Well, then what were we?
我觉得你根本不想当流浪狗
-Wow. -I don’t think you want to be a stray.
-我觉得你悲伤又孤独 -听听这混球说什么？
-I think you’re sad and lonely. -Can you believe this fucking guy?
我觉得你这么痛恨人类
And I think the only reason you claim to hate humans
是因为你不敢放下痛恨去思考
is because if you ever stopped to think about what happened,
不然你就会意识到 搞砸的不是艾玛
you’d realize that Emma didn’t fuck it up.
-是你 -你给我滚远点
-You did. -Get the fuck away from me.
相信我 我也搞砸了跟主人的关系
Believe me, I fucked up with my owner, too.
谢谢你帮我认识到 问题在我
So thank you for helping me realize I was the problem.
唯一的区别是 我有机会改正 不会沦落到你这种下场
Only difference is I have a chance to fix it and not end up like you.
-喂 干什么？ -行了 别这样
-Hey, hey. What are you doing? -Guys, stop it! Guys!
把它给我！
– Come on! – Give me this thing!
-还给我！ -小虫！
-Give it back! -Bug!
那是道格给我的！还给我！
Doug gave me that! Give that back!
-我知道是他给你的 -不要！
-I know he did! -No!
-行了 -小虫 别这样
– Stop it! Stop! – Bug, don’t do that.
这就是我对你和你主人的看法
That’s what I think about you and your owner.
操你自己去吧 雷吉
Go fuck yourself, Reggie.
你们俩真是绝配
You two deserve each other.
-雷吉 别这样！ -小雷
-Reggie, don’t do this! -Reg.
我希望他已经搬走了！
I hope he’s already left without you!
哎
Man.
我真觉得我的鸡鸡能够到钥匙
I really thought my dick was gonna hook those keys.
不过这事也很丧
Um, but this is also a bummer.
小虫 我们不能回去
Bug, we can’t go back.
当然能 天上的恶魔 锥体 仓鼠轮
Sure we can. The devil in the sky. Cone. Hamster wheel.
原路返回就行了
Just in the opposite order of how we came.
不过这次不杀兔子了
No dead bunnies this time.
小虫 她是说我们不能这样扔下他
Bug, she means we can’t leave him like this.
首先 亨特 我们没有扔下他 是他扔下我们
First off, Hunter, we didn’t leave him. He left us.
第二 反正我们也不知道 道格住在哪里
Second, we don’t know the rest of the way back to Doug’s place, anyway.
第三 我才不要留在这里
And third, I’m not just gonna hang around here
让没屌♥的鸟趁机抓走我的女朋友
and let some dickless bird swoop in on my girlfriend while I’m gone.
什么？
What?
如果那个混♥蛋♥有一件事说对了
Look, if there’s one thing that the asshole got right,
那就是我一直在跟你们浪费时间
is that I have been wasting my time with you guys.
我是流浪狗 也该有个流浪狗的样子了
I’m a stray, and I should start acting like one.
-等等 你要去哪？ -不知道 反正不关
-Wait, where are you going? -I don’t know. To go do some “nunya.”
什么是“不关”？
What’s “nunya”?
不关你们的事
Nunya fucking business.
好吧 真被他接上梗了
Oh, yeah. I walked right into that one.
回家吧 亨特
Let’s go home, Hunter.
还说我孤单 还说我害怕
Talking about I’m lonely. Talking about I’m scared.
说什么鬼话？
Fuck does he think he’s talking about?
告诉你吧 我才不孤独呢
I’m gonna tell you right now, I ain’t lonely
而且绝对不害怕
and I damn sure ain’t scared.
去你大爷的 破叶子
Fuck you, leaf!
还“沦落到我的下场”？
End up like me?
我上周尿过两辆车 三栋房♥
I pissed on two cars and three houses last week.
没错 我才三岁 已经有房♥了
That’s right, I’m a three-year-old dog and I’m already a homeowner.
这他妈的就是梦想中的生活 而且我不怕孤单
I’m living the motherfucking dream. And I’m not scared to be alone.
我什么都不怕
Matter of fact, I ain’t scared of anything.
谁？
Who’s that?
别靠近！我 呃…
Don’t come closer! I-I, uh…
我是疯子！我♥操♥垃圾！
I’m crazy! I fuck trash!
别这样 小虫 快走开
Nope, not doing this. Just walk away, Bug.
跟艾玛一样的小女孩最坏了
Little girls like Emma suck and you know it.
别可怜她 小虫
Don’t listen to her, man. Don’t listen to her.
他们都是自恋狂 把自己的需求看的比你重要
Another fucking narcissist putting her needs above your own.
你已经经历过了 快走吧
You’ve been down this fucking road before, man, just– just…
去他妈的
Goddamn it.
你好呀
Hey, there.
你自己在这里干什么呢？
What are you doing out here all alone?
你是不是跟我一样迷路了？
Did you get lost like me?
会没事的
It’s gonna be okay.
我♥操♥ 你就是那个所有人都在找的女孩
Holy shit. Wait! You’re the girl that everyone’s looking for.
妈蛋
Holy shit!
我找到她了！
I found her. I found her!
来人啊！
Somebody, please help!
-我找到那个女孩了！ -是小虫！
-I found the girl! -That’s Bug!
小虫 你在哪？
Bug, where are you?
快走！
Let’s go!
我看到他了！
I see him!
你居然找到她了
I can’t believe you found the girl.
天呐 小虫！
Oh, my God, Bug!
我们得快点找来救援 她情况不太好
Come on, we gotta get her some help. She’s in bad shape.
救命 快来！
– Help! Over here! – Over here! We found her! Help!
-来人啦！ -罗尔夫！混♥蛋♥！
-Help! -Rolf! You dickhead!
-来人啊！ -救命啊！
-Help! Help! -Come on! Help!
失踪的女孩！这边！
Lost kid! Let’s move!
-这里！ -来人！
-Over here! -Help!
-他们来了 -这边
– Here they come. – Over here.
芒其金 去检查女孩
Munchkin, check the girl.
干得好 亨特和小狗们
Hell of a job, Hunter, and small dogs.
-没想到你技术还没荒废 -老天啊
-Didn’t know you had it in ya. -Oh, my God.
莱莉！你在这里
Riley! Riley, here you are.
好狗狗
Good dog, good dog.
没事了
You’re okay.
我不会过问你们是怎么回来的
I’m not even gonna ask how you ended up back in these woods.
我只想问
All I’ll ask is
怎么回报你们？
how can I repay you?
你能帮我救我朋友
You can help save my best friend.
我该说什么呀
Oh, what am I gonna say? What am I gonna say?
好吧 还是先排练一下
Okay, I should probably rehearse this.
你好 道格
Hey, Doug.
“你好 狗东西”
“Hey, shitbag.”
-最近忙什么呢？ -“打飞机”
– What’ve you been up to? – “Mostly masturbating.”
厉害 还是那个道格
Oh. Cool, classic Doug.
我应该跟你道歉
So, I owe you an apology.
“是嘛”
“Okay.”
你把我扔在那里一点也没错
You were totally right to ditch me in that alley.
我以前太不乖了
I mean, I was terrible.
“同意”
“Agreed.”
不过现在我回来了 我们能不能稍微改变一下？
But I was wondering if we could maybe make some changes when I’m back?
比如遛遛我
Like, maybe we could do walks now,
把尿尿的时间增加到每天两次
and possibly increase pee breaks to twice a day?
而且 如果你喜欢的话
And maybe, if you feel like it,
可以偶尔叫我“好孩子”吗？
you could call me a good boy every once in a while?
太傻了
Ugh. This is stupid.
什么叫你追踪不到他？ 你不是追踪犬吗？
What do you mean you can’t track him down? You’re sniff dogs. That’s what you do.
对啊 罗尔夫 我们在学校学过
Yeah, come on, Rolf. They taught us that.
没有他的气味样本 就没法追踪他
It’s impossible. We can’t track him without knowing his scent first.
你昨天闻到他的味道了吗 芒其金？