海盗电台（2009）

-而我这会儿正看着一只 -拜拜了
– and I’m looking at one right now. -Adios amigo
有人落水了
Man overboard!
妈的
Fuck!
我压根不喜欢西蒙
I don’t even like Simon!
你个爱哭精
Cry-baby.
爱哭精
Cry-baby!
妈的
Bollocks.
你要干嘛
What are you doing?
玛尼玛尼哄
Wop-bop-a-loom-a-blop-bam-boom.
大不列颠的女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen of great britain.
亚伯拉罕·林肯曾经说过
Abraham lincoln once said, “It is the measure of a man
承认自己的错误 最为考量男人
that he can admit when he’s wrong.”
我犯了灾难性的错误
And I have been catastrophically wrong.
我也想借这个机会
I’d also like to take this
向我的一位好友致歉
Opportunity to apologise to a dear friend of mine,
西蒙
Simon.
最后
Finally,
船上的一切平静如初
Everything onboard is gonna be just fine.
各位 这是最后一个球了 拜托小心点
Everyone, this is our last ball, so please be careful.
-凯文 该你开球了 -加油凯文 加油
– Kevin, it’s your kick-off. – Kevin, come on, Kevin.
白♥痴♥ 你个白♥痴♥
Idiot! ldiot!
把他裤子给脱了 脱
Get them trousers off. get him!
我能看到你的蛋蛋 纳特福德
I can see your nuts, nutsford.
在篮球史上第一次
For the first time in the history of basketball,
大不列颠联合王国
The united kingdom of great britain
将挑战美♥利♥坚♥合众国
Will take on the united states of america.
加油 加油
Come on, come on.
犯规
Cheat!
要保证用最好的方式把他扔出去
Sure throwing him in the best way
让他能游起来
to get him to swim.
-毫无疑问 -好的
– Absolutely. – Okay.
再想想 这也许只对小孩儿管用
On second thought, it might just be for kids.
-我踩不到底 -没错
– I can’t touch the bottom. – Yeah, that’s right.
把小孩儿扔进去 会浮起来 这是本能 天性
Throw a baby in, it floats. Instinctively, naturally.
很美好
It’s a beautiful thing.
-救命 -我发现如果扔个成年人下去
– Come on. – I think if you throw in an adult,
-也许不管用 -再见
– Doesn’t work that way. – Goodbye.
真心话大冒险
Deprivation.
-好 -好
– Yes. – Yeah.
现在开始
Let’s do it.
好
Yes.
-从你开始 -行
– You hand this. – Okay.
我来打败你们这些英国佬 我做春梦时
I’ve got you limeys beat. I have never had a sexual dream
从未梦到过任何皇室成员
Featuring a member of the royal family.
要是你们也没有 举个手
Raise your hand if you have been as equally deprived.
-玛格丽特公主 -玛格丽特公主
– Princess Margaret. – Princess Margaret.
瞧 6个人全部缩头乌龟了
Yes! The full six tortoises
-不错 通杀 -菲利斯蒂
– Good. Full house. – Felicity.
我从没和男人上过床
I have never had sex with a man.
-小意思 -我觉得这样下去不行
– Risky one. – I didn’t think that was the road to go down.
该死
Damn it.
好吧 很显然是在学校 谁没有过
Okay, it was at school, obviously. who hasn’t?
我 咱们全都没
Me. All of us.
-除了你们好吧 -就一次吗
– Besides you guys, okay. – It was just once.
他叫管大通
And his name was Jackman.
-就因为他叫管大通 -没错
– Cause his name was Jackman. – Yeah.
笑吧 但实际上 他还是个神职人员
You can laugh. But actually, he was something of a god.
-瞧 我猜他就是 -是五级以上的
– You know, I bet he was. – In the upper fifth.
-五级以上人员 -没错
– In the upper fifth? – Yes.
-他是五级以上的神职人员 -对
– He was a bit of a god in the upper fifth? – Yes.
好了 管大通
Okay. Jackman.
-我当时很好奇 -抱歉 这意味着你只能得一分
– I was curious. – Sadly, it means you only get one point.
一分 菲利斯蒂得一分
One point. One point for Felicity.
-好样的 -不赖啊
– Well done. – Well done.
-看他那纯洁无辜的眼神 -好了
– Look at his doe-eyedness. – Okay.
加文·卡维纳先生
Mr Gavin Kavanagh.
好 这个有点奇怪
Right, bit of a strange one this.
我从没和姑娘约会过
I’ve never been on a date with a girl…
等等
Wait, wait.
并且春风一度后 觉得她
And, after sex, thought she wouldn’t
不会注意到
notice if I let her go a little
我放屁了
Bit of wind.
这么做以后
Did so,
我才发现那不是屁
And realised it wasn’t wind…
而是拉肚子
It was diarrhoea.
所以我从没在和梦中情人上♥床♥的时候
So I’ve never been in bed with a girl of my dreams
在床上画地图
With poo all over the sheets behind me.
-不 -没这么过的
– No. – Raise your hands
-举手吧 -这不可能
– Anyone who has not done that. – No way.
戴维
David!
你个混球 妈的
You bastard, man!
-我谁也没告诉过 -真的
– I didn’t tell anyone. – You did that?
-真的 -你干嘛了
– Yeah. – What did you do?
我跟她说我妻子五分钟内会回来
Well, I told her that my wife
于是她走了
Would be home in five minutes, so she left.
你可逃过一劫
So you got away with it.
真是难以启齿 真的
It’s a grey area, really.
继续
Tell them.
问题是 当下午四点
The problem being that my wife then came home and…
我妻子回到家里
I got into quite a lot of trouble for pooing in the bed.
我却拉在床上了
4 o’clock in the afternoon.
倒霉孩子
Pooper!
没错 真不错
Yes. That was beautiful.
重新回到”靡靡之阴”
We’re back on “pubic” air.
摇滚电台 就在中波203
Radio rock, 203 metres on the medium waveband.
不管你在干嘛 别告诉戴维医生是我告诉你们这个拉床的故事
And whatever you do, don’t tell Dr Dave that I told you the poo story.
摇滚电台
Radio rock!
欢迎收听 再次广播的是
It’s coming in here and what’s here repeated
政♥府♥想整倒我们的计划已经一败涂地
Government plans to undermine us have failed spectacularly
实际上 根据最近民♥意♥调查显示
In fact, a recent poll says that at
在表决中 93%的大不列颠选民
an election, 93% pecentage people of Great Britain
更喜欢地下电台而非政♥府♥
love the pirates rather than the government.
我很抱歉 先生
I’m very sorry, Sir.
别急 图怀特
Don’t worry, Twatt.
也许我们失去了公众支持
We may lose the public relations battle
但我们会赢得这场战斗
but we will win the war
我们要进攻
We shall proceed,
但是别告诉别人
But just not tell anyone.
瓮中捉鳖才是王道
Executions are best done behind closed doors.
现在把他妈的那下流玩意儿关了
Now shut that filth off!
现在是安格斯·憨特福德
You’re with me, Angus “the nut”
阿憨 圣诞来啦
nutsford. It’s Christmas time
卡尔
Carl.
我刚收到岸上传来消息
I just got a message from shore,
你妈妈会过来
And your mother is dropping by
与我们共度圣诞
to pay us a visit for Christmas
没搞错吧 什么时候到
You’re kidding? when does she arrive?
明天 她总是喜欢心血来潮
Tomorrow. She was always very impromptu.
-是吗 -是
– Was she? – Yeah.
不论如何 我想你应该提早知道
Anyway, l thought you might like to know,
也许你想修剪一下头发
In case you want to brush your hair
顺便把那架子上的
Or hide the large stack of
一大堆黄书给藏起来
pornography you keep on that shelf
摇滚电台祝你圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas from radio rock
-听说你妈妈要登船 -是啊
– I hear your mum’s coming onboard? – Yeah.
替我向她问好
Yeah, send her my best.
-告诉她 水泥佬(60年代当红摇滚歌♥手)致敬 -好的
– Tell her Muddy Waters rocks. – Okay.
-她知道什么意思 -好
– She’ll know what I mean. – Yep.
上帝 这真够乱的
Christ, what a dump.
-我希望你喜欢 -爱死了
– I hoped you’d like it. – I love it.