8位机圣诞（2021）

进来帮帮我
Come on in here and help me.
通常 我一般最不想帮我爸爸
Normally, helping my dad with whatever halfbaked renovation
he was doing would be the last thing I wanted to do,
做他那些半吊子的装♥修♥工作
不过今晚 我有使命在身
but tonight, I was a man on a mission.
我马上来 爸爸
I’ll be right in, Dad.
哇 瞧瞧
Kathy Wow, look at that.
他终于让你屈服了
He finally wore you down.
我爸是一个阅读障碍版的鲍勃维拉
My dad was something of a dyslexic Bob Vila.
林伍德大道的人都知道 1978年
It was wellknown up and down Linwood Avenue that in 1978
我爸爸去安装一个厨房♥的橱柜从那之后 他就没停下来过
my father went to install a kitchen cabinet and had not stopped since.
这次请戴上你的防护眼镜
Kathy Please wear your safety glasses this time.
你戴了防护眼镜了吗？
Annie Did you wear the safety glasses?
当然
Absolutely.
是吗？
Really?
Kind of.
算是吧
好吧 你现在可以取下来了
All right, you can take that off now.
什么？取下来
Jake What? John Take it off.
我们过一会再去找眼镜
We’ll look for the glasses later.
那只是建议罢了
It’s really more of a suggestion.
哇
Jake Wow.
你的手是如何变得那么有力？
How’d you get your hands so strong?
我用这双手干了30年 所以才有力气
I’ve been working with them for over 30 years, that’s how.
很酷 是吗？
That’s so cool. Yeah?
或许你们圣诞节可以给我买♥♥一个
Maybe you guys could get me something for Christmas
增强我手的力量 这样我就能更好地帮你了
that builds up my hand strength, so I could help you out better.
这个主意不错
You know, I like the sound of that.
一台任天堂？
Like a Nintendo?
好的
Yeah.
就这么定了
Done. chuckles
好了 我们来收拾一下 来吧
All right. Let’s go clean up. Come on.
你做到了 爸爸！
Annie You did it, Dad!
他们同意了
They said yes.
我高兴极了
I was on cloud nine.
故事这就讲完了吧？
So the story’s over, right?
很好 我可以给梅芙发短♥信♥了吗？
Cool. Can I text Maeve now?
芝加哥黑鹰队
约翰 这个杯子真恶心
Kathy John, that cup is disgusting.
这是他们在1985年的半决赛中…
This is the exact cup I was drinking out of when…
打败北星队时
When they beat the North Stars
我用的杯子 好吧
in the Conference semis in ’85. Fine. Yep.
那是一段美好的回忆 但这杯子很恶心
It’s a beautiful memory and a gross cup.
没错
Totally.
别再说“没错”了
Stop saying “totally.”
你听起来像个白♥痴♥
Stop saying “totally.”
你把保持器拿出来做什么？
John And what’s your retainer doing out of your mouth?
可我们在吃饭
But we’re eating.
你知道这东西有多贵吗？戴回去
Do you know how expensive that thing is? Put it back in.
不是那样用的 戴着那个他没法吃东西
he really can’t eat with it in. It doesn’t work that way.
如果他把它弄丢了那就完全不起作用了
Well, it won’t work at all if he loses it.
我是说 正畸是最大的诈骗
I mean, orthodontistry is the biggest racket.
这种东西我也可以做 简单
I could make one of those. Easy.
几个回形针、护齿套…完事
Couple of paper clips, mouth guard… whistles Done.
我希望你先把客厅和餐厅装♥修♥好
I’d like you to finish the living room and the dining room
再去研究他们的保持器
before you start work on their retainers.
如果我有一副保持器无论怎样 我都会一直戴着它
If I had a retainer, I’d wear it all the time, no matter what.
我知道你会的 亲爱的
I know you will, honey
你真是一个甜心
You are such a sweetheart
嘿 你见过我的空气压缩机吗？
Hey, you haven’t seen my air compressor, have you?
在后院
It’s in the backyard,
就放在杰克没捡的那些狗屎旁边
right next to all the dog poop that Jake didn’t pick up.
嘿
Hey.
你还没去捡吗？
You haven’t picked that up yet?
躲墙角哭去吧 杰克
Cry in a bucket, Jake.
你这一整天都在干什么？
What have you been doing all day?
我在提米基恩的地下室
I was in Timmy Keane’s basement.
怎么？为什么不能出去玩？
What, you can’t play outside?
外面冷
It’s cold.
外面温度都没到零下
It’s not even below zero out.
你一整天都在室内做什么？
What’ve you been doing inside all day?
可能在玩能天堂？
Probably playing the Mimtendo?
“任天堂”
“Nintendo.”
我刚就这么说的 “应天堂” 约翰
That’s what I just said. “Intendo,” John.
我今天在珠宝店遇到了特罗特太太
You know, I ran into Mrs. Trotter at the Jewel today.
据说电子游戏
Apparently, video games have been doing
给日本的小孩造成了很多奇怪的影响
all kinds of strange things to children in Japan.
比如什么？
Like what?
他们非常投入
They get so involved
完全忘记了其他的一切
they completely forget about everything else
学校、朋友
School, friends.
一个小孩得了脑动脉瘤
One little boy had a brain aneurysm
他的鼻子会流出东西
and stuff oozed out of his nose.
我很高兴我们家没有
I’m very glad that we do not have one. chuckles
但你说了圣诞节可以给我买♥♥的
But you said I could get one for Christmas.
我没这么说过
I said nothing of the sort.
电子游戏会让你肥胖的杰克 这是事实
Video games make you fat, Jake. It’s a fact.
卷心菜娃娃不会让你肥胖
Cabbage Patch Kids don’t make you fat.
不
Jake No, no, no.
爸爸 你也说可以给我买♥♥一台的
Dad, you said I could have one, too.
不 我没有 好吧 我是说了
No, I didn’t. Well, okay, I did.
但我以为那是一个亚洲的工具品牌 就像牧田牌那样
But I thought that it was an Asian tool brand, like Makita.
你知道吗？你该去室外玩
You know what? You should be playing outside.
埃文奥尔森在外面玩的时候
Evan Olsen almost got frostbite from
差点被冻伤
playing outside
他差点失去他的小脚趾
He almost lost his pinkie toe.
奥尔森一家太没用了
The Olsens are weak stock.
我家不允许有任天堂
No Nintendo in my house.
我同意
I second that.
我也同意 少数服从多数
Me three, and that makes a majority.
看来任天堂泡了汤
Looks like a nogo on the ‘Tendo.
她很幽默 约翰
She’s funny, John.
有史以来最棒的小孩
John Best kid ever.
就这样 没戏了
And just like that, it was gone.
我永远不会拥有自己的任天堂了
I was never getting my own Nintendo.
我的人生完了
My life was over.
杰克
Jake.
拜托 你得集中注意力
Come on. You gotta focus, man.
昨晚他父母说不会给他买♥♥任天堂
Evan His parents said he couldn’t get a Nintendo last night.
我父母不同意的时候 我很生气
When my parents said no, I was so mad,
我开始直呼他们的名字
I started calling them by their first names.
好吧 把那股怒气
Okay, well, channel that anger into taking down Jagorski.
转移到打败杰戈尔斯基上
好！
Yeah!
快！
Let’s go!
每天放学 我们聚在一起
Every day before school, we would gather,
莫名其妙地被杰戈尔斯基
for reasons unknown, to get pummeled by Jagorski
在《山王》游戏上碾压
in the game King of the Mountain.
我的山！我的！
My mountain! Mine!
一直不清楚“山王”乔什杰戈尔斯基
It was never quite certain what grade Josh “King of the Mountain” Jagorski
到底是读几年级
was actually enrolled in,
因为他大部分时间
as the vast majority of his time
都在教室以外的地方 比如说校长室
was spent in such foreign districts as the principal’s office,
以及加油站的成人饮料冰柜那里
and the adult beverage refrigerator case at the gas station.
走好不送
Josh Bye and bye.
漂亮！来啊！
Yeah! Come on!
这味道像是我爸在车♥库♥练习吉他后的味道
He smells like my dad after he practices guitar in the garage.
谁想要一块
Who wants a piece
美味的草莓蛋糕？
of this delicious strawberry cake?
就是这个 我们上！
This is it. Let’s go!
为什么是现在？我们非得这样吗？
Why now? Do we have to?
快！
Come on!
上来！
Come here!