8位机圣诞（2021）

好
Now…
我知道你们今年很努力在卖♥♥
I know you’ve all been selling very hard this year
所以我们尽力保证提供
so we’ve done our best to make sure that these prizes…
特别的奖品
are special.
瞧瞧这个！
Ohho! Look at that!
一等奖看起来比普通的任天堂游戏机还大
First prize looked even bigger than a normal NES system.
谁知道下面还有什么任天堂宝藏？
Who knew what other Nintendo treasures were under there?
我说了会有一个免费的地毯式控制器
Told you it came with a free Power Pad.
好了
Okay. clears throat
排在第三位的是
In third place…
杰夫法默！太好了！
Jeffery Farmer!
没人关心第三名
Nobody cares about third place.
考虑到法默总是拿第一
Considering Farmer’s constant claims to victory,
这让我们都很高兴
this was a delight to us all.
这下 任何人都有机会取胜
Anybody had a chance now.
“《男孩生活》刊物”
“Subscription to Boys’ Life.”
棒！
children laughing Yes!
我从小就看这本杂♥志♥
I grew up on that magazine.
文章很棒
Mr. Halberg Great articles.
排在第二位的是
And in second place…
非常出色的
an amazing showing…
泰迪霍奇斯！
Teddy Hodges!
不！
No!
可惜 霍奇斯双胞胎卖♥♥的花环数量
Sadly, the combined totals of the Hodges twins
加起来也只够第二名
were only good enough for silver.
是一个地球仪！
It’s a globe of the whole world!
全世界都在里面！
All of it!
除了任天堂其他奖品没人在乎
There was no second place when it came to Nintendo.
好
And now…
来了！今年卖♥♥花环比赛的
Evan This is it, this is it! …this year’s first prize winner
一等奖获得者
of the wreathselling contest.
童子军史上最高销♥售♥额
The highest sales total in troop history…
杰克道尔！
Jake Doyle!
我赢了！
I won!
把这事写在公告板上！棒！
You can put it on the board! Yes!
要感谢的人太多了
Oh, so many people to thank.
我的朋友、家人和任天堂公♥司♥
My friends, my family, the Nintendo Corporation…
棒！
Yes!
今年一等奖的奖品
Mr. Halberg This year’s first prize…
是我们多年来最好的一次
the best we’ve had in years…
你准备好了吗 杰克？
Are you ready, Jake?
准备好了
Yeah.
一套全新的《世界百科全书》！
A brandnew set of World Book encyclopedias!
什么？
What?
就像赢得了更多作业一样
It was like winning more school.
不！
No!
它在哪里？
Where is it? screaming
我讨厌你！哈尔伯格！天啊
I hate you, Halberg! God.
这说不通 为什么？
It didn’t make any sense. Why?
为什么童子军领导答应给我们玩具 结果却给了书？
Why had the troop leaders promised us toys, and then give us books?
这么过分 这么可怕 这么恶毒的事
Who could possibly be behind something so terrible?
到底是谁干的？
So awful, so villainous?
老提摩西基恩医生 正是此人
Dr. Timothy Keane Senior, that’s who.
巴达维亚的家长们 晚上好
Parents of Batavia, good evening.
嗨 我们并不知道
Hi. Little did we know,
就在花环颁奖礼的前一天晚上…
the night before the wreath award ceremony,
今晚紧急家长会谈
游戏暴♥力♥！
…基恩医生召开了一次会议
Dr. Keane had assembled a meeting
为了毁掉我们的生活
with the express purpose of ruining our lives.
最近我家出了一件事
There was an incident in my home recently.
基恩家的一名成员 狗狗莱西基恩
A member of the Keane family, Lacy Dog Keane…
被我们家的42寸电视机压倒 差点丧命
was crushed to near death by our 42inch television set.
42寸 那可是一台非常好的电视
whispering 42inch, that’s a really nice television set.
约翰
whispering John.
我当然不会责怪我的孩子 提米
Now I certainly do not blame my boy, Timmy,
他是一个有天赋且慷慨的年轻人
who is a gifted, generous young man,
最近被诊断患有一种叫做
who has recently been diagnosed with something called…
“注意力缺陷…”
“Attention Deficit…”
什么的
Blah, blah, blah. Whatever.
非常严重
It’s very serious… sighs
而且极为罕见
and it’s extremely rare.
相当罕见
crying So rare.
我爱你
I love you.
请开灯好吗？
Could I have the lights, please?
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen…
害狗狗致残的真正罪魁祸首
the real culprit of this dogcrippling crime…
正是电子游戏
is video games.
这是电子游戏干的
Video games did this.
还有这个
And this.
这个
And this.
这个
And this.
是同一张幻灯片
It’s the same slide.
我是说这个
I meant, and this.
还是一样的 见鬼！
John Still same slide. God damn it!
提米又往这里扔芝士了
Timmy dumped cheese in here again.
你知道你不能给他芝士的 珍妮丝 你明白的
You know you can’t give him cheese, Janice. You know this.
Pookie.
宝贝
还有这个
And this.
问题是 女士们先生们
The question is, ladies and gentlemen… Mrs. Keane crying
那是狗吗？
man Is that a dog?
我们要怎么做？
…what are we prepared to do about it?
We should ban it!
我们应该禁止它！
禁止！禁止！
Ban it! Ban it! Ban it!
我的镇子上
are getting crushed in my town!
不会再有狗被压了！不会了
No more dogs No more.
我们必须保护我们的狗 对
We must protect our dogs. Yes.
我们必须保护我们的社区！
We must protect our community!
对！
Yes!
现代科技正在接管我们的生活
Mr. Keane It’s modern technology taking over our lives.
只会越来越糟 从这里开始走下坡！
It’s only gonna get worse. It’s all gonna go downhill from here!
我们必须阻止它！没错
Mrs. Trotter That’s right. We’ve gotta stop it!
We’ve gotta burn it all, burn it all to the ground.
我们要把它烧了 全部销毁
烧了它 对
Burn it. Yeah.
禁止电子游戏！
Video game over! Video game over!
大声点 禁止电子游戏！再大声一点
Let me hear you. Video game over! Louder.
禁止电子游戏！
all chanting Video game over! Video game over!
大声点！禁止电子游戏！
Let me hear you. chanting continues
现在就击败它 禁止电子游戏
softly Bring it down now. Video game over.
基恩惊慌失措的宣传
Keane’s panicked propaganda continued on
一直持续到了晚上
well into the night.
那是虚拟的电子游戏末日
It was a virtual video game Armageddon.
我能感受到！我们快成功了！禁止电子游戏！
Mr. Halberg I can feel it! We’re so close! crowd Video game over!
禁止电子游戏！
Video game over!
我们对此无能为力
And there was nothing we could do about it.
没有兔子
Bugs Bunny on TV No rabbit.
这些花环白卖♥♥了
All those wreaths for nothing.
你知道澳大利亚的主要出口 是煤球吗？
Did you know that Australia’s chief export is coal briquettes?
我们要中断节目向您插播一则来自凯恩县的特别报道
We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin from Kane County.
谢谢你 瓦尔塔 我们在杰尼瓦市
Thank you, Walter. We’re here live in Geneva
与电子游戏暴♥力♥活动家提摩西基恩医生一起
with video game violence activist Dr. Timothy Keane.
基恩医生 现在距离圣诞节
Dr. Keane, it’s only eight shopping days now
还剩八个购物日了 你设法让全县
until Christmas, and you’ve managed to pass
通过了禁止销♥售♥电子游戏机的禁令
a countywide ban on selling video game systems.
是这样吗？没错
Is that correct? That is correct.
凯恩县的所有商店都同意了
Every store in Kane County has agreed to it.
你真觉得电子游戏过度宣传暴♥力♥
And you really feel that video games promote violence enough
需要禁止吗？
to make them illegal?
你的狗有没有差点被你家的电视机压死？
Has your dog ever been crushed to near death by your TV?
没有
No, she has not.
那场面很惨 家长需要知道真♥相♥
Dr. Keane on TV It’s not a pretty sight. Parents need to know the truth.