The wheels on the bus go round and round
巴士的车轮转啊转
All through the town
一天到晚不停闲
The– I don’t know.
我不记得词了
And then Keanu Reeves saves the bus Nice.
基努·里维斯拯救了巴士 很好
Saves the bus Saves the bus
拯救了巴士拯救了巴士
And then Keanu Reeves saves the bus
基努·里维斯拯救了巴士
And then he dies That’s all I got.
然后他就死了 我编不出来了
Does he die? I don’t know.
他死了吗 管他的
Okay. Maybe she’s hungry.
好 她可能是饿了
I think she’s hungry. I’m gonna feed her.
我觉得她是饿了 我来喂她
Come on, let’s go eat. Come on.
来 我们去吃东西 走
I thought we weren’t picking her up.
不是让她自我安抚吗
Okay, Sophie girl, I’m almost done, hold on.
苏菲乖乖 我马上好了 坚持一下
She’s not a food critic. She’s a 1-year-old.
她不是美食评论家 她才一岁
I’m not gonna feed her just anything.
我不会让她随便吃
We’re gonna feed you something today, Sophie, I promise.
我们今天会让你吃到东西的 苏菲 我保证
Hopefully before you’re 2.
尽量赶在你两岁之前
So tell me,
告诉我
what does Sophie do to your dreams of ever meeting a guy…
苏菲会影响你遇到个男人
…and having your own baby? Thought about that?
然后生自己的小孩的梦想吗 你想过吗
A woman your age already has a hard time
像你这种年纪的女人
competing for the few guys who don’t suck.
想找个像样的男的本来就不容易
I’m sorry, did you just say a woman my age?
不好意思 你刚是说像我这种年纪的女人吗
In the dating world, you wouldn’t be considered single.
在约会界 没人觉得你还单身
You know what you’d be? Complicated. Beyond complicated.
你嘛 情况太复杂 他们承受不起
You don’t know anything about me, Messer.
你根本不了解我 梅瑟
Well, I know that you can’t open a childproof drawer.
我了解你打不开防孩童开启的抽屉
Oh. There it is.
打开了
Why are you trying so hard to convince me not to help her?
你干嘛这么费劲的让我放弃照顾她
I’m not trying to. I’m just trying to do what’s best for her.
我没有 我想做对她最好的事
You’re trying to do what’s best for you.
你是在做对你自己最好的事
I’m trying to do what’s best for her.
我是为了她好
OK. You know what. We’re not it.
行了 你知道吗 我们根本不在行
They loved Sophie
他们爱苏菲
more than anything in the entire world and out of everyone.
胜过世界上的任何东西任何人
Messer, they picked us.
梅瑟 他们选了我们
They picked us.
他们选了我们
I’m coming.
我来了
Check this out. I think you’re gonna love it.
看看是什么 你一定爱吃
Taste sensation. Ready?
开吃咯 准备好哦
No? Come on. Just try it, Soph.
不要吗 尝尝 苏菲
Just try it. I think you’re gonna love it.
尝一口 你一定会爱吃的
Just try it.
就尝一口
Come on, Soph, give it a try.
来 苏菲 吃一口
Oh, please? I’ve seen you eat things like this.
吃一口吧 我见你吃过这类东西
I think you’re gonna love it. Come on.
你一定会喜欢的 来
Mmm. Mmm. Yum, yum, yum.
嗯 真好吃 真好吃
There you go. Good girl, Soph–
真乖 好孩子 苏菲
So you honestly think we’re the best thing for her?
你真觉得我们是最合适的人选吗
Well, it was a beautiful service. Yeah.
他们以前招待得很棒 没错
I did not know that’s how they met. Oh, that story about Paris?
不知道他们是这么认识的 巴黎的事是吗
Are you kidding me? Yeah.
你开玩笑吧 真的
What is gonna happen with the baby? Do we know?
这孩子怎么办 有谁知道吗
Oh, yeah, you didn’t hear? No.
你没听说吗 没有
They named one of their friends, yeah. The single girl who bakes.
他们指定了朋友 那个做烘焙的单身女孩
And the super-hot one that always smells,
还有那个总散发
like, so good and sweaty.
迷人体香的超正帅哥
That guy. That’s interesting. So he’ll be around.
就那个男的 有点意思 那他应该在这
“Good”? What do you mean, “Good and sweaty”?
迷人 迷人的体香是什么意思
Mom, thank you for being here.
妈妈 谢谢你过来
I couldn’t have done it without you.
要没你真不知道该怎么办
You’re welcome, honey.
不用谢 宝贝
Do you mind watching her for another minute?
能帮我再照看她一会吗
I gotta talk to Messer. It’s family members. Okay.
我跟梅瑟说两句 亲戚们都在这 好的
Mess.
梅瑟
There’s a lot of them.
这里有很多亲戚
Well, we just need to find one.
我们只要找一个就行
So I understand you’re Peter’s cousins?
我听说你是皮特的表哥
Hey, don’t climb on that. Hey, hey.
别爬那个
Who is that, Tyler? Mason.
那是谁 泰勒吗 梅森
Mason, take a seat right now. Let’s go.
梅森 赶紧坐好 快点
Eight kids. Eight kids? You guys have eight kids?
八个孩子 八个 你们有八个孩子吗
Nine, dear. Nine, right. Baseball team.
九个 亲爱的 九个 对 棒球队
I had to come for Alison. Yeah, thank you.
我为了艾丽森赶了回来 谢谢
And I was on tour through Atlanta, so…. Oh, on tour.
我在亚特兰大巡回演出 所以 巡回演出
Are you performing anywhere that I would know?
请问你是在哪里表演呢
I’m dancing at Juggles tonight…
今天在詹格夜♥总♥会♥
…and then Bush League Thursday through Monday.
星期四到下周一去次级棒球联盟表演
Oh, how exciting. That’s really exciting. Yeah.
很棒 真的很棒
It’s really good for Sophie to get to see her grandfather.
祖孙相见真是太好了
She looks just like Peter.
她长得跟皮特一个模子
I think she looks just like you.
我觉得她跟您也是一个模子
So you have a house in Miami now?
您现在在迈阿密有房♥子吗
Yeah, because we, you know, were hoping…
我们希望
…given that Sophie is your only grandchild, that….
因为苏菲是您唯一的孙女
Well, it seems to make the most sense that you’d be–
最好是她能跟…
Okay, okay, okay.
来来来
Sophie, no, no, no. Over here.
苏菲 别别 快过来
Oh, I am so sorry. Okay.
真对不起
You okay? Okay.
还好吗 好
Good as new. Still breathing.
没事了 又能用啦
Well, we could go with the nine-kids family.
可以去有九个孩子那家
I mean, they clearly know how to keep a child alive.
起码他们知道怎么养活一个孩子
Stripper seemed nice.
脱衣舞娘也还行
And the grandpa’s a definite no?
爷爷绝对不行吗
We’re screwed.
我们惨了
Next case, the matter of Sophie Novak, Index Number 05893-01.
下一个 苏菲·诺瓦克案 编号♥05893-01
All right.

I’ve read your submissions, along with the will.
我看了你们递交的文件 还有遗嘱
Given that you folks were named as guardians…
既然你们被列为监护人
…I see no reason to countermand the parents’ wishes.
我没有任何理由来违背孩子父母的遗愿
However, permit–
然而
Just leave it. No, no.
别管了 不行
They’re gonna get ground into the carpet. Guys, guys, okay.
会卡到地毯里面 伙计们 行了
Let’s leave the Goldfish. What do you say we stand up?
别管那些饼干了 快站起来
Okay. Okay. Stand up. Leave them.
好的 站起来 就放在那
Sorry.
不好意思
I’ll pick these up. Just…
我等会再捡 就
Until that time, I hereby
现在 我在此
grant joint legal and physical custody…
同意将苏菲·克里斯蒂娜·诺瓦克的共同法定监护权
…of Sophie Christina Novak to Holly Berenson and Eric Messer.
授予霍丽·贝伦森和艾瑞克·梅瑟
That’s it? You’re not gonna ask us anything?
就这样吗 你不用问我们什么吗
How do you know we’re not dealers or pimps?
你怎么知道我们是不是毒贩子或皮条客
Are you drug dealers or pimps? No, ma’am. No.
你们是毒贩子或皮条客吗 不 法官 不是
Let’s go.
我们走吧
Boom. “Done, next case.
啪 行了 下一个
Here, take a kid. No, take two, we got extra.”
来 给你个小孩 不 带两个 正好有多余的
Where is that stupid duck that she loves that drives me crazy?
那个让人抓狂苏菲最爱的那个鸭子在哪
I don’t get it, man. I’ve been good. Some chick says:
我没搞明白 我一直很小心 有妞对我说
“Messer, you can forget the condom,”
梅瑟 你可以不戴套
I say no, and I still end up with a kid.
我拒绝了 但我还是有了个小孩
We need to figure out a schedule. I need to work tomorrow.
我们得制定一个时间表 我明天得上班
Do you smell that? What?
你闻到了吗 什么
Oh, maybe she finally pooped.Did she?
她终于拉便便了 是吗
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she–
是的是的 我觉得她
What? It’s not that bad.
什么 有那么夸张吗
Oh, Soph.
噢 苏菲
It’s a weird smell, right? Okay.
这味道真怪是吧 好
Go ahead.
开始吧
What? Why me? Because I’m the girl?
什么 为什么是我 就因为我是女生吗

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