家长指导（2012）

I’ll call you back in a little bit for the details.
她同意了
She said yes.
你同意了
You said yes.
阿蒂 咱们有日子没见孙子孙女了
Artie, we practically never see our grandchildren.
咱也没去过他们的新家
We’ve never seen their new house.
他们也没来过咱这儿
They’ve never been to Fresno.
我刚被解雇 还在疗伤呢
I just got fired. I’m licking my wounds.
我会帮你疗伤的 去吧
I’ll lick them. Come on!
他们需要人帮着带孩子
They need someone to take care of the kids.
那个房♥子不就会自动带吗
Can’t the house do it?
咱们就一个独生女
We have one child.
她那三个小孩就是
These three kids are the
咱们仅有的三个外孙了
only grandchildren we’re ever going to have.
我跟那些孩子合不来 他们讨厌我
I’m awkward around those kids. I don’t think they like me.
亲爱的 他们只是没见过你几次
Honey, they don’t see you enough.
他们需要更了解你才能讨厌你
They have to know you better before they don’t like you.
我是说真的 都是爱丽丝遗传的
No, but it’s a real thing, Di. And it all comes from Alice.
上次最小的那个孩子
Like the last time, the little one left the house…
套着脚蹼和浴袍就出门了
wearing flippers and a bathrobe.
我就开了个小玩笑说
So I made a little joke.
这孩子想变正常是没戏了
I said, “This one, any hope for normal?”
然后他们就用眼神杀死了我
And I got this withering gaze.
就像你现在这样
Like you’re giving me now.
首先呢
Well, first of all…
也许你应该记住最小的那个叫什么名字
it might be a good thing if you learned “The little one’s” Name.
他叫巴克
It’s Barker.
小戴
Di.
我现在很脆弱
Listen to me, I’m fragile right now.
我需要份工作
I need a job.
而不是爱丽丝的责备 我不去
I don’t need Alice’s disapproval. I’m not going.
-你必须去 -我就这意思
– You’re going. – That’s what I meant.
她带孩子的方法就像一大把…
Her whole way of raising her kids is a giant…
啐在咱们脸上
…in our face.
她们这代人有自己的办法
It’s her generation. It’s just their way.
你找什么呢 兄弟
Hey, what are you looking for, sailor?
要是还没找到 就说明那儿没有
If you haven’t found it yet, it’s not there.
我可以提示你一下
I’ll help you out.
前列腺检查时 医生会要求咳嗽
-快点儿 -他还没摸够呢
– Come on! – He’s not done groping.
她当年就不能嫁个不那么像我的人吗
And could she have found anyone less like me to marry?
你对菲尔怎么这么大意见 他很不错的
What’s your problem with Phil? He’s such a sweet guy.
他是挺好 还用乳汁养育了孩子呢
He is sweet. I think he breastfed the kids.
欢迎来到96年奥♥运♥会举办地佐治亚州
真倒霉 下雨了
Perfect, it’s raining.
阵雨而已 20分钟就停了
Scattered showers, honey. It’ll be over in 20 minutes.
这是个凶兆
It’s an omen.
-什么凶兆 -厄运即将来临
– What’s it an omen of? – Impending doom.
-我有个建议 -什么
– I have a great idea. – What’s that?
闭嘴
Shut up!
我考虑考虑
I’ll think about it.
-知道照顾孙子辈的意义吗 -是什么
– You know what grandparenting is? – What?
第二次机会
A second chance.
听着不错
That’s pretty good.
-你知道爱丽丝怎么说吗 -怎么说
– And you know what Alice told me? – What?
孩子们知道我们要来都乐疯了
The kids are over-the-moon excited about our coming.
为什么是他们
Why them?
因为他们是你们的外公外婆 他们很爱你们
Because they’re your grandparents and they love you.
那…那我们必须得穿这衣服吗
D…Do we have to wear these?
这可是外婆亲手做的 她以为你们很喜欢
Well, Grandma made them. And she thinks you like them.
为什么她觉得我们会喜欢
Why would she think that?
因为我告诉她你们很喜欢
Because I told her that you did.
放心吧 没事的 我保证
Look, it’s going to be okay. I promise you.
他们很有趣的
You know, they’re very funny.
外公很会讲笑话
Grandpa tells lots of jokes…
不过你们都听不懂
that you won’t get.
总之 笑就对了
So just laugh.
只管笑 我保证一个星期很顺利地就过去了
Just laugh and I promise you we’ll get through this week.
记住 妈妈很爱你们
Remember, Mama loves you very much.
他们到了
They’re here!
不
Oh, no.
这所房♥子真不错
This is a McStadium.
谢谢你们能来
Hey, thanks for coming.
你好 菲尔
Hello, Phil.
天啊 他们居然穿着我做的衣服
Oh, my goodness! They’re wearing their shirts.
我都说了 他们很喜欢的
I told you, they love those shirts!
让我亲一下
Give me a kiss.
我好激动
I’m so excited.
她绝对会比她的外婆漂亮
This one’s gonna be prettier than her grandma.
-她叫哈珀 -我知道
– Harper. – I know.
小提琴练得怎么样了 还在学小提琴吗
How’s the fiddle coming? Still fiddling?
小伙子们 你们还单身吗
Hello, boys, still single?
妈妈 你还带了生活用品吗
Mom, you brought groceries?
你懂得
You know Dad.
你♥爸♥爸就害怕这里没有饭给他吃
He just wanted to make sure you had food here for him.
好吧 还带了卫生纸
Okay, and toilet paper?
我用惯了的牌子 芦荟牌
Well, I know what I like. Aloe.
那是给我们的吗
Are those for us?
当然是给你们的
Those are definitely for you!
每人一个
Yep. One for each of you.
你的 这是你的
Here you go. And for you.
超级水枪 太棒了
S-Super Squirters! Awesome!
你给他们买♥♥枪了
You bought them guns.
是啊
Yeah.
爸爸 我们不玩枪的
Dad. We don’t do guns.
如果你们觉得水枪已经很好了 看看这个
Hey, if you think that’s something, wait until you see this.
这是阿蒂经典玩偶
This is classic Artie.
阿蒂·戴克版摇头玩偶
Artie Decker bobbleheads.
送给你们 看看
Here you go. Look at this, huh?
你们该说什么呢
What do you say?
好诡异 让它别摇了
That’s creepy. Make it stop!
谢谢外公
Thank you, Grandpa.
谢…谢谢外…外公
Th-Thank you, G-Grandpa.
各位 既然我们就要一起相处了
Hey, you know what? Since we’re all gonna be pals now…
你们就别叫我外公了 叫我阿蒂怎么样
instead of calling me “Grandpa,” Why don’t you call me “Artie”?
外婆和阿蒂 说的好像你是我男朋友一样
So it’s “Grandma and Artie” Now? What are you, my boyfriend?
不 我们上次把所有的称呼经历了一遍
No, listen. We went through all those names last time.
我不想再被叫做么么 帕帕 或是波波
I don’t want to be “Mup-Mup,” Or “Bup-Bup,” Or “Boop-Boop.”
那都是宠物的名字
Those are puppet names.
我一直叫阿蒂 你们也请叫我阿蒂
My name is Artie. Always been Artie. Call me Artie.
叫你阿屁行吗
Can I call you “Farty”?
那不是名字 笨蛋
That’s not a name, dope.
你贬低我一次 得夸奖我三次才能抵消
Hey, that was a put-down. You owe me three put-ups.
我喜欢你的鞋子 衬衣 还有头发
I like your shoes. I like your shirt. I like your hair.
我们进去吧
Let’s go inside.
你们必须得换衣服
You guys all have to change because
因为我们要出去吃饭 走吧
we’re going out for dinner. Come on.
拿行李 阿屁
Get the bags, Farty.
前门
关闭
爱丽丝 你家的房♥子真漂亮
Alice, this is a beautiful house.
谢谢
Thank you.
-这还只是雏形 -雏形
– It’s a prototype. – Prototype?
欢迎回来 爱丽丝 菲尔
Welcome, Alice and Phil and
哈珀 特纳 巴克和
Harper and Turner and Barker and…
两位不明客人
two unidentified guests.
这还真是不吓人
But that’s not strange.
这是智能生活系统
It’s the R-life.
那是菲尔的发明 也是他一直以来工作的中心
It’s Phil’s invention. It’s what he’s worked on all this time.
这就是这个全自动 声控标准智能房♥屋的
This is the brain center to this fully automated…
指挥中心
voice-activated, prototype smart house.
我现在就把你们两个加入系统中
And I’m just going to enter you two into the system right now.
好的
All right.
扫描我吧