天赐灵机（2021）

你睡着了
You went to sleep!
不 只是骗你
No. It was a move.
现在我是你的即刻好友了吗？
Am I now your best friend out of the box?
你还在想那件事啊
You’re not still after that sticker.
不 阿荣 我很抱歉 等等阿荣
Oh, no, Ron. I’m so sorry. Hold on. Hold on.
连结… -不 停
Connect. Connect. – No! Stop!
不 快停下来 阿荣 阿荣 -连结…
Oh, no! Not that one! Ron! – Connect. Connect. Connect.
那是莎凡娜家 -连结…
That’s Savannah’s house!
很好 打光 马里布滤镜
Okay, key light, Malibu filter.
完美 -蹦
Perfect. – Boom!
嘿 同学
Oh, hey, guys.
被妳抓到我耍废
You just caught me chilling.
爱美
Afloat.
爱闹
Aquatic.
爱演
Accident.
那是什么鬼啊？
What is that?
听起来像是大蟒蛇 或是坏小丑
It sounds like a giant snake. Or an evil clown!
他们住在树林 而且头还可以旋转
They live in the woods, and their heads go all the way around!
坏小丑… -对不起 我太喘了
Evil clown! Evil clown! – Sorry. I’m sorry.
刚才跑太急了
I’m just really wheezy, guys. I’ve been running.
阿荣
Ron!
巴尼普多斯基？
Barney Pudowski?
你毁掉了我的布景
You’ve ruined my aesthetic.
抱…抱歉 莎凡娜
Sorry, Savannah.
水池很棒
Nice pool.
等等 你什么时候有一个B宝了？
Wait. Since when did you even have a B-Bot?
它…哇 看看它
And… Whoa. Look at him.
对不起 我们该走了
I’m sorry. We’re going right now.
我跟…
I just…
巴尼 你的B宝超级怪
Barney, your B-Bot is, like, super weird.
对啊 -还裸体？
Yeah. – And naked?
还有等一等 它没加我好友？
And hold on a sec. Why hasn’t it friended me?
你想加莎凡娜米兹好友吗？
Would you like to friend @theSavannahMeads?
不 它…它这些事都不能
No. He can’t do any of that stuff.
不能 它不加好友
He can’t make friends or…
它基本上什么都做不到
He’s useless at all that.
不能加好友？ -什么？
Can’t make friends? – What?
巴尼 别告诉我
Barney, don’t say your weirdness
你的B宝跟你一样怪
has rubbed off on him.
交朋友就是它的功能
Making friends is, like, what he’s for.
如果它做不到
If he can’t do that,
那它就没有存在的意义
he’s, like, literally pointless.
就只是一块到处跟着你的塑胶
Like, a lump of plastic just following you around.
销毁垃圾
Hashtag landfill.
我的作用是交朋友？ -阿荣
I am for making friends? – Ron…
我该怎么帮巴尼交朋友？
How do I make friends for Barney?
过来
Come.
不会吧？
Seriously? – Ugh.
你分享他所有的事
You share stuff about him.
像他的食物照片或每天的行程
Like pictures of his food or his wake-up routine.
你搜寻认识他的亲友
You search for people who know him
或喜欢同样东西的人
or like the same stuff as him.
你给他们看照片 人家就会留言
You show them pictures, and then you get comments,
然后就会给他按赞
and then you get people that like him,
最后接受交友邀请
and then you get friend invites.
蹦 他就有朋友了
Boom! Now he has friends.
对
Duh!
阿荣 我们该走了
Ron! We have to go!
那巴尼需要朋友吗？
Does Barney need friends?
对啊 如果他不交
Well, yeah! Or, fun fact,
在学校里就很难生存了
he will not survive middle school.
莎凡娜 拜托别说出去
Savannah, please don’t tell anyone.
我不应该有它的
I’m not supposed to have him.
它其实应该是个秘密
He has to be a secret.
（普多斯基新奇出口）
我妈妈她…她在重接
She’s rewiring los electricos.
好了 独角兽便便
Okay. Unicorn poo.
很棒吧
It’s great.
你说你喜欢
You like it!
船运日期…
Well, shipping date, um…
我被电到了
Ow! It shocked me!
介意我开着灯吗？
Mind if I leave it on?
我的存在毫无意义
I am literally pointless.
什么？
What?
我不能帮你交朋友
I cannot make friends for you.
对
Yeah. Well…
我也不擅长做这个
I’m not so great at that either.
你该看我下课的样子
You should see me during recess.
很糟
Oh, it sucks.
我站在边边…
I stand there every day,
一个人 站在游乐场外
on my own, on the edge of the yard,
只希望
just hoping for
有什么人跟我坐在一起
a few people to share a bench with.
懂吗？
You know?
可是那又怎样？
But why would they?
因为上次他们来我家的时候
The last time any of them came to my house,
我们把他们烧了
we set fire to them.
又来了
Ow! Not again.
我想我们只能睡觉了
I guess I’ll just sleep with it off.
晚安 阿荣
Good night, Ron.
（知道我的一切）
（不喜欢黑暗）
他们疯了
They’re psychos!
就是他们 看到那个耳朵我就认得了
It is them! I’d recognize those ears from space.
OK 找位置 开定位
Okay. Location. GPS.
打…打起精神
Uh… Get up the grid.
它在哪里？
Where is it?
它其实并不在线上
Uh, it’s not actually on the network.
这不可能 所以我不相信你
That’s impossible. So, I don’t believe you.
我们能追踪每个B宝
We track every B-Bot.
对 可是…
Um, yeah, but…
好 这小孩 我什么都要
Then the kid. I want everything.
联络人、购物习惯、鞋型
Contacts, shopping habits, shoe-size.
你是说他的个人资料？
You mean his private data?
对 不然干嘛收集？
Sure. Why else do we collect it?
我们根本没有 他没有加任何好友
We’ve got nothing on him. He hasn’t friended anyone.
也没更新贴文 也没分享
He doesn’t blog, post, or share.
（没有朋友）
怪咖
Creepy.
这个影片是一个叫莎凡娜米兹PO的
The video was posted by @theSavannahMeads.
而且她一直都在线上
Her whole life is online.
阿杜 是真的吗？它还在？
Andrew. Is it true? It’s still out there?
商店搞乌龙 他们毁的是莎莉松鼠
The store made an error. They squished Sally Squirrel.
我…我们约在厕所见…
♫ Let’s learn where we… ♫
真是太好了
That’s awesome!
你在说什么鬼话？
What the heck are you talking about?
我查过了 然后…
I looked into it. And…
看 就是这个样子
See? This is it!
我像他这么大的时候就想这样
It’s what I imagined when I was his age.
他们在玩
They’re having fun!
玩？
Fun?
你…
可…可是离线你要怎么玩？
How… How can you have fun offline?
这…这完全不合理
It’s against nature.
阿杜 我从来没有编写过笑的程式
Andrew, I never programmed B-Bots to laugh.
我一定要弄明白 能留下它吗？
I have to understand this. Can we get a hold of it?
当然可以
Ho-ho, we will.
我们这一区？整条街都没电？
My aerial? No power in whole street?
不 我不知道
No. No idea.
阿荣 不行 你得躲起来
What? Ron, no! You have to hide.
还不是时候
You’re not ready.
对不起 我马上回来
I’m sorry. I’ll be back soon.
杂物间里没有朋友