那当然 我还因此淹死了两匹马
I’ll say. l had two ponies drowned under me.
你收集的贝壳在哪里
Where’s your shell collection?
是呀 他们把贝壳放在哪儿
Yes of course. Where could they have put it?
我一到星期四 就搞不清楚东西南北
You see on Thursdays I’m sort of lost around here.
-为什么 -星期四船员放假
-What’s on Thursdays? -It’s the crew’s night off.
-船上就只有我们两个 -没错
-You mean we’re alone on the boat? -Completely.
我从未三更半夜跟男人独处过
I’ve never been completely alone with a man in the middle of the night,
-还在茫茫大海上 -很安全的
-in the middle of the ocean. -Oh it’s perfectly safe.
船已经下锚了 这艘船坚固无比
We’re anchored. The ship’s in shipshape shape.
要是有冰山 海岸防卫队会通知我们
The coastguard will call if any icebergs appear.
我担心的不是冰山
It’s not the icebergs.
有些男人就会趁机大占便宜
But certain men would try to take advantage of a situation like this.
-你真是太恭维我了 -我相信你是个君子
-You’re flattering me. -Of course I’m sure you’re a gentleman.
应该说我没有危险性
It’s not that. It’s just that I’m harmless.
-没有危险性 为什么 -我不知该怎么解释
-Harmless? How? -l don’t know how to put it,
我跟女孩相处有障碍
but I’ve got this thing about girls.
-什么障碍 -她们会让我兴致全消
-What thing? -They just sort of leave me cold.
你性冷感
You mean like frigid?
应该说有心理障碍
Well it’s more like a mental block.
女孩完全无法让我动心
When I’m with a girl it does absolutely nothing to me.
-你试过了吗 -我无时无刻都在试
-Have you tried? -Have l. I’m trying all the time.
瞧 完全没反应
See? Nothing.
-完全没反应 -我是个软脚虾
-Nothing at all? -Complete washout.
-这让我好难过呀 -这不是你的错
-That makes me feel just awful. -My dear it’s not your fault.
有时命运就是会捉弄人
Now and then Mother Nature throws somebody a dirty curve.
是我天生有毛病
Something goes wrong inside.
-你不能坠入爱河吗 -现在不能了
-You mean you can’t fall in love? -Not any more.
我曾经爱过 但现在不想提这件事
l was in love once but I’d rather not talk about it.
-你想来点雉鸡肉吗 -发生什么事了
-Would you like a little cold pheasant? -What happened?
-我不想烦你 -快别这么说
-l don’t want to bore you. -You couldn’t possibly.
这个嘛…
Well…
大学一年级时
lt was my freshman year at Princeton.
我认识了一个叫奈莉的女孩
There was this girl. Her name was Nellie.
她爸爸是汽车公♥司♥的副总裁
Her father was the vice president of Hupmobile.
她也戴眼镜
She wore glasses too.
那年夏天我们一起去大峡谷
That summer we were at the Grand Canyon.
我们坐在山顶上看夕阳
We were on the highest ledge watching the sunset,
我们突然有接吻的冲动
when suddenly we got this impulse to kiss.
我们两个都拿下眼镜
l took off my glasses. She took off her glasses.
我向她走近一步
l took a step toward her.
她向我走近一步
She took a step toward me.
没错 八小时后 他们用骡子把她背上来
Yes. Eight hours later they brought her up by mule.
我帮她输了三次血 我们都是O型血
l gave her three transfusions. We had the same type blood -type O.
但是为时已晚
But it was too late.
真令人伤心
Talk about sad.
从那时起
Ever since then,
我就成了行尸走肉 再也不会动心
numb no feelings like my heart was shot full of Novocain.
你真太可怜了
You poor poor boy.
我腰缠万贯 但又有何用
Yes. All the money in the world and what good is it?
你要加薄荷酱还是红莓酱
Mint sauce or cranberries?
你怎么现在还会想到食物
How can you think about food at a time like this?
除了美食我还有什么
What else is there for me?
-真的这么惨吗 -我的家人已经绞尽脑汁
-ls it that hopeless? -My family did everyzhing they could.
他们请了最漂亮的法国女佣
Hired the most beautiful French upstairs maids.
还帮我找了专门朗诵禁书的家教
Got a special tutor to read me books that were banned in Boston.
找了一群峇里岛舞娘
lmported a troupe of Balinese dancers
她们十指纤长 脚上还绑着铃铛
with those bells on their ankles and long fingernails.
真是浪费钱啊
What a waste of money.
你试过美国女孩吗
Have you ever tried American girls?
为什么
Why?
有没有反应
Was that anyzhing?
还是谢谢你了
Thanks just the same.
你该找个好医生看看
You should see a doctor, a good doctor.
我找过了 我在维也纳 看了六个月的心理医生
l have. l spent six months in Vienna with Professor Freud flat on my back.
我打♥针♥ 吃药 催眠 药浴样样来
Then there were the Mayo brothers injections hypnosis mineral baths.
要不是胆子小我早就自杀了
lf l wasn’t such a coward I’d kill myself.
别说这种话
Don’t say that.
一定有能让你动心的女孩…
There must be some girl someplace that could…
要是我找到这样的女孩 我会马上娶她回家
lf l ever found a girl that could I’d marry her just like that.
-帮我个忙 好吗 -没问题 什么忙
-Would you do me a favour? -Certainly. What is it?
我也许不是心理医生
l may not be Dr Freud or a Mayo brother
或貌美如花的法国女佣
or one of those French upstairs girls,
但能让我试试吗
but could l take another crack at it?
若你坚持的话
All right if you insist.
-这次有反应吗 -恐怕还是没有
-Anyzhing this time? -I’m afraid not.
-真的很抱歉 -还要喝点香槟吗
-Terribly sorry. -Would you like some more champagne?
放点音乐 把灯光调暗 如何
Maybe if we had some music. How do you dim these lights?
你的好意我心领了 但没有用
Look it’s terribly sweet of you to want to help out but it’s no use.
灯的开关好像在那里
l think the light switch is over there.
那是收音机
That’s the radio.
你这简直就是对牛弹琴
It’s like taking someone to a concert when he’s tone-deaf.
你要给自己一个机会
You’re not giving yourself a chance.
不要抗拒
Don’t fight it.
放轻松
Relax.
这就像抽空烟一样
It’s like smoking without inhaling.
那就一口气把烟吞进去
So inhale.
黛芬妮
Daphne,
-你又开始带舞了 -抱歉
-you’re leading again. -Sorry.
怎么样
Well?
我不太确定
I’m not quite sure.
能不能再试一次
Would you try it again?
我的脚趾有种怪怪的感觉
l got a funny sensation in my toes.
好像有人在用小火烤一样
Like someone was barbecuing them over a slow flame.
我们把火烧旺一点
Let’s throw another log on the fire.
我想你的方向对了
l think you’re on the right track.
我想也是 你的眼镜开始起雾了
l must be. Your glasses are beginning to steam up.
没想到这种感觉妙不可言
l never knew it could be like this.
谢谢
Thank you.
他们说我不行了 没救了
They told me l was kaput finished all washed up.
你却让那些所谓的专家 都下不了台
And here you are making a chump out of all those experts.
药浴怎么会有用
Mineral baths. Now really.
你在哪儿学会这样接吻
Where did you learn to kiss like that?
我曾是牛奶基金会的香吻女郎
l used to sell kisses for the Milk Fund.
提醒我明天寄一张 十万块的支票给牛奶基金会
Tomorrow remind me to send a cheque for $100,000 to the Milk Fund.
好险
Whoops.
-晚安 -早安
-Good night. -Good morning.
我现在欠牛奶基金会多少钱
How much do l owe the Milk Fund so far?
85万
$850,000.
就凑个整数一百万吧
Let’s make it an even million.
我忘了开收据给你
l forgot to give you a receipt.
杰利 没问题吧
Hi Jerry. Everyzhing under control?
我有好多话跟你说
Have l got things to tell you.
-发生什么事了 -我订婚了
-What happened? -I’m engaged.
恭喜 跟哪个女孩
Congratulations. Who’s the lucky girl?
我就是那个女孩
l am.
什么
What?
奥斯古向我求婚 他要我当六月新娘
Osgood proposed to me. We’re planning a June wedding.
你在说什么 你怎么能嫁给奥斯古
What are you talking about? You can’t marry Osgood.
-你觉得他太老 -杰利 你在开玩笑吧
-Do you think he’s too old for me? -Jerry you can’t be serious.
有何不可 他反正一天到晚结婚
Why not? He keeps marryin’ girls all the time.
但…你不是女的 是个男的
But… you’re not a girl. You’re a guy.
男人为什么要跟男人结婚
And why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
这样比较安全
Security.
-杰利 躺下吧 你生病了 -别把我当三岁小孩
-Jerry lie down. You’re not well. -Stop treatin’ me like a child.
我不傻 我知道有问题
I’m not stupid. l know there’s a problem.
那还用说
I’ll say there is.
我们必须先征求他妈的同意
His mother. We need her approval.
但别担心 我不抽烟
But I’m not worried because l don’t smoke.
-杰利 还有一个问题 -什么问题
-Jerry there’s another problem. -Like what?
-你们的蜜月 -我们讨论过了
-Like your honeymoon. -We’ve been discussing that.

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