I’m to advertise whiskey?
我知道你觉得有损尊严, 但五万块钱就在这里跑不掉
I know it’s beneath your dignity, but there’s $50,000 in there.
如果您不喜欢钱也可以 把它捐给慈善机构
If you don’t want the money you can give it to charity.
再说,多好的主意,慈善天使
That’s a peach of an idea, that charity angle!
我们可以在所有的报纸上 做广♥告♥,大肆宣传
We’ll advertise it in all the papers.
我,我觉得陛下不会 为了捐款做广♥告♥
I don’t think it becomes His Majesty to advertise his charitable donations.
我个人也认为那很令人生厌
Personally I think it’s most distasteful.
行了国王,全听你的!
OK King, you’re the doctor!
哦,至于这笔款项? 呃。我们什么时候可以…
About the payment, when do we…
我们可以马上签约
On signing the contract.
贾姆。立即去办
Jaume, attend to that matter at once.
说定了?太好了!
Then it’s a deal? Great!
带他去工作室。 拿个杯子给他
Take him to the studios, get him mugged.
我们需要照片。 非常尊严的那种
We want pictures. Lots of dignity.
你把皇冠带来了吗?
Say, you haven’t got your crown with you?
我无论如何都不会戴皇冠
Under no circumstances will I wear my crown.
行行,国王,全听你的
OK King, you’re the doctor!
荷伯特,向你右边移一点
Herbert, a little to the right.
陛下,请允许我提议您把杯子 移到一边去,它遮住你的脸了
May I suggest holding your glass to one side? It’s hiding your face.
有阴影
There’s a shadow.
现在。照张没有杯子的
Now one without the glass.
荷伯特。 去拿一打彩色底片来
Herbert, bring up a dozen colored plates.
您知道您真的很上镜!
You’re really photogenic.
你还想哄我,嗯?
You still want to beguile me?
– 但我说真的。 – 你知道你可已经愚弄我一次了
But I mean it.
You fooled me once.
您从没原谅我吗?
And you’ve never forgiven me?
你只是个错觉和圈套而已
You’re nothing but a delusion and a snare.
其实不然
I’m not really.
我要报复
This is my revenge!
你要大的还是…噢!对不起!
Do you want the large… Oh, excuse me!
荷伯特。怎么了?
Yes, Herbert, what is it?
你要大的彩片, 还是3寸的?
Do you want the large colored plates or the three-quarters?
大的
The large ones.
不。你最好留在这里! 嗯。去吧,拿大尺寸的来
No, you’d better stay here! Go ahead, get the large size.
他走了吗?
He’s gone?
我要你看起来英俊,甜心。 祝你好运
I want you to look handsome, honey. Good luck.
他准备好了!
He’s ready!
好。再排练一下
All right, let’s have one more rehearsal.
现在,记住,拿出皇家的威严
Now remember King, give it that majestic stuff.
管家,准备好了吗?开始!
– You ready, butler? – Go ahead!
您的皇冠威士忌
Your Royal Crown Whiskey, Sir.
谢谢。梅罗斯。 我一直欣赏皇冠威士忌
Thank you, Melrose. Royal Crown Whiskey I always enjoy.
我知道尊贵的皇上没它不行
I know it, Sir. Your Gracious Majesty is never without it.
我不喜欢最后一句
– I don’t like that last line. – Right, it might get a laugh.
你说得对。 里面的暗示会惹人发笑
剪掉最后一句
Cut that last line.
从国王那句开始
From your line please, King.
噢,谢谢你。梅罗斯。 我一直欣赏皇冠威士忌
Thank you, Melrose. Royal Crown Whiskey I always enjoy.
我就知道
I know it, Sir.
那也会惹笑的
That too can get a laugh.
别太强调,自然一点。 我知道。陛下
Don’t emphasize it, say it lightly: “I know it, Sir”.
噢,谢谢你。梅罗斯。 我一直欣赏皇冠威士忌
Thank you, Melrose. Royal Crown Whiskey I always enjoy.
我知道。陛下
I know it, Sir.
全删掉。只点头就好
Cut it out entirely. Just nod.
为健康干杯,梅罗斯
Your health, Melrose!
啊。多么强劲却柔和的醇香
What a flavor! So strong, yet so mild.
柔顺的滑下喉咙
So caressing as it slips down the throat.
然后涌起一阵活力 与信心的温暖
Then comes that warm afterglow that energizes and exudes goodwill.
这就是为什么 我爱喝皇冠威士忌
That’s why I like Royal Crown Whiskey.
– 怎么样? – 太棒了!
– How’s that? – Great.
就是它了!给我拿来真的 威士忌。现在大家安静
Give me the real whiskey. Now quiet, everybody.
陛下。等红灯亮开始
Wait for the red light, King!
您的皇冠威士忌。陛下
Your Royal Crown Whiskey, Sir.
谢谢你。梅罗斯。 我一直欣赏皇冠威士忌
Thank you, Melrose. Royal Crown Whiskey I always enjoy.
– 为健康干杯 – 谢谢。陛下
– Your health, Melrose. – Thank you, Sir.
说呀…!
Say, what the?
停,停杀。停
Cut it! Kill it! Cut it!
呛死我了!
Went down the wrong hole!
彻底失败!
What a fiasco!
– 为什么会开始咳嗽? – 那个威士忌
– What started the coughing? – The whiskey.
一辈子都没尝过 那么恶心的味道
Never tasted such beastly stuff in my life.
在文明的国家里 我们应该喝葡萄酒
In a civilized country we drink wine.
还有那个侮辱人的庄生?
And that abusive Johnson man!
当我差点被呛死时, 还威胁要起诉我
While I’m choking to death, threatens to sue me!
幸好。我们拿到了 他们的五万块钱
Oh well, there’s one consolation. We’ve got their $50,000.
我希望你已经把支票兑现了
You’ve cashed the check, I hope?
– 又是那个姓凯的女人 – 叫她上来
– It’s the Kay woman again. – Have her come up.
请让凯小姐上楼
Will you send Miss Kay up, please?
她不会是来叫我们还钱的吧?
Wonder what she wants? The money back, I suppose.
噢。不。不会的。 这女孩很正派的
Oh no, this girl’s rather decent.
只要不涉及金钱的问题 谁都很正派
They’re all decent until money’s involved.
她不一样
Not in this case.
她只是想帮我们
This girl’s trying to help.
那她从您那里想得到什么?
What’s her interest in you?
我最好点到为止
I’d rather not discuss it.
否则你会大吃一惊
You might be shocked, or agreeably surprised.
我们行了! 我们机会来了!
We’re in!
We got ’em rolling!
壳牌油!皇家烟草! 立普顿红茶!
Shell Oil, Imperial Tobacco, Lipton’s Tea!
所有的大公♥司♥都跃跃欲试, 只待你把握机会
They’re all hot. You can write your own ticket!
我。我恐怕没明白
I don’t understand.
还没明白。 这会是空前绝后的轰动
Neither does anyone, but it’s a smash hit!
每个人都在谈论它
Everyone’s talking about it.
谈论什么?
Talking about what?
实播,最大的电视爆笑节目
The broadcast! It’s the biggest laugh on television.
所有的角色经过反覆研究。 赞助商都觉得这是个绝妙的注意
They all figured it was deliberate.
The sponsor thinks it’s the most original idea he’s ever had.
他们打算做全国转播
They’re going to give it another nationwide hook-up!
砖搏?
Hiccup?
这表示你还可以多拿两万块
That means you can get another $20,000 extra!
我晕头转向搞不懂了
It’s all very bewildering. I don’t understand it.
哪里不对了?
What’s wrong?
你如果提荷尔蒙做广♥告♥, 得看起来年轻些
If you’re to advertise hormones, you have to look young.
我想最好替别的什么 做广♥告♥算了
I think we’d better advertise something else.
当然不行,这份合约很重要。 笑一个
Of course not, this is a very important contract. Smile.
不,别这样
No, don’t do that.
下巴抬高
The chin up.
我知道,这里都太松弛了
I know. All this flabby business here.
噢,你该去做整容手术
What plastic surgery could do for you!
所有那些松弛部分都可以消除
All that flabby business could be eliminated.
– 包括垂肉 – 垂肉?
– Including the wattles. – Wattles?
松弛的…眼袋
The baggy…
眼下的部分
Under the eyes.
你只是不喜欢我了, 不是吗?
You just don’t like me, do you?
胡说八道! 只需稍微整容一下
Nonsense! A little lift here and there and you’d look quite young.
保证让你年轻不少
For instance,
这些垂肉可以拉到耳后根。 鼻子也一样
all this can be pulled back and eliminated.
Same with the nose.
我可不想拉掉鼻子
I don’t think I want my nose eliminated.
别傻了,只是改善一下
No silly, but it could be improved.
可以把它抬高点
It should be raised a little.
我的鼻子?
My nose?
但那年轻的效果 会让你大吃一惊
You’d be surprised the youthful effect it’ll give you.
这样做试试
Go like this.
噢,别傻了
Don’t be silly!
哎,别害羞嘛
Don’t be shy!
向后拉。用力拉紧!
Pull it back. All back, tight!
你看起来真年轻!
How young you look!
是吗,但我快被掐死了
Yes, but I’m strangling to death.
但真是脱胎换骨
But what a difference!
当然,你的颧骨小了一点
Of course it accentuates the small chin,
但可以重修- 用石膏
but that can be built up with paraffin.

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