我得去和斯坦利打个招呼
I’m gonna go say hi to Stanley.
– 斯坦利？ – 嘿，你好
– Stanley? – Hey, you.
– 见到你真好 – 我也是
– Good to see you. – Good to see you.
我有一些朋友. 来认识一些吧，过来
I got some friends I want you to meet. Come here.
哦，伙计，真有意思
Oh, man, this should be fun.
安迪拉，这是汤米…
Andera, this is Tommy…
– 凯文… – 嗨
– Kev… – Hi.
– 保罗… – 嗨
– Paul… – Hi.
– 威利 – 各位…
– Willie. – Guys…
– 嘿，臭小子 – 抱歉. 还有 莫
– Hey, Stink. – I’m sorry. And Mo.
– 嗨，莫 – 嗨
– Hi, Mo. – Hi.
各位，这是安迪拉
Guys, Andera.
嗨
Hi.
如果有什么需要我就过来
I’ll be here if you need me.
你来自芝加哥哪个地方？
So what part of Chicago you from?
– 你了解芝加哥？ – 我了解士兵队的球场
– Do you know Chicago? – Yeah… I know Soldier’s Field.
那是橄榄球场
That’s a football field.
– 说得没错 – 那你是干什么的？
– She said it. – So what do you do?
– 我做广♥告♥的 – 广♥告♥业？不错
– I’m in advertising. – Advertising! That’s great.
– 那你们是做什么的呢？ – 我们是做什么的？
– What do you guys do? – What do we do?
嗯，保罗和我做…生意
– Well, Paul and I have… – …a business.
– 建筑… – 绘画…
– Construction… – Painting…
– 凯文in为我工作 – 我是他的同事
– Kevin works for me. – I work with him.
– 莫在纺织厂工作 – 我是工厂经理
– Mo works in a textile plant. – I’m plant manager.
而威利是个音乐家
And Willie here’s a musician.
– 你弹什么？ – 钢琴
– What do you play? – Piano.
– 你愿意表演一下吗？ – 不，不…
– Would you play something? – No, no…
– 嘿，威，弹点什么吧 – 不…
– Hey, Will, play something. – No…
弹吧
Come on.
– 弹吧. 你再也不弹了？ – 我知道
– Come on. You never play any more. – I know.
– 他是好手 – 我想喝一杯
– He’s good. – I need a shot.
– 你们也要来点吗？ – 喔，我们喜欢
– Do you guys want to do a shot? – Shots? We love shots.
– 呃，woo-woos，还是melon balls？ – 女人们喜欢num-nums〔应该都是酒的名字〕
– Er, woo-woos, melon balls? – Chicks like num-nums.
– 威士忌 – 威士忌 好 就来威士忌
– Whiskey. – Whiskey, yeah. Whiskey it is.
– 斯坦，六个杯子 – 谁叫斯坦？
– Stan, six shorts. – Who’s Stan?
来了
You got it.
谢谢
Thank you.
好
Gotcha.
爱尔兰式
Irish.
那么，威利，你是不是该表演一下呢？
So, Willie, you gonna play something or what?
行，好
All right. All right.
好
All right.
嘿，伙计
Hey, buddy.
为什么你要提钢琴这事？我们可比不过
Why’d you mention the piano? We can’t compete with that.
那就向她展示你的魅力吧，会很性感的
Show her how you spread mulch. That’s sexy.
臭小子的侄女. 他的亲戚！
Stinky’s cousin. He’s related!
这是哪首曲子？
What’s this song?
你不知道？
You don’t know this?
跟着唱啊，伙计
Take it, buddy.
我不想再跟你们废话了，OK？你们俩有毛病
I’m done speaking to both of you, OK? You’re both fucking insane.
你知道你们是什么毛病吗？MTV，花♥花♥公♥子♥， 麦迪逊大道
You know what your problem is? MTV, Playboy and Madison fucking Avenue.
好. 让我解释给你们听
Yes. Let me explain something to you.
大咪♥咪♥的女人一定有大屁♥股♥
Girls with big tits have big asses.
反之，咪♥咪♥小的女人一定是小屁♥股♥. 这就是真理
Girls with little tits have little asses. That’s how it goes.
上帝不会偏心，他是公平的
God doesn’t fuck around. He’s fair.
他让胖子有又大又漂亮的咪♥咪♥
He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits
而瘦人只有小咪♥咪♥
and the skinnies little, tiny niddlers.
那不是我定的规则 如果你们不喜欢这样的规则，跟上帝说去
It’s not my rule. If you don’t like it, call him.
嘿，米奇
Hey, Mitch.
谢谢
Thank you.
噢，你们看看这里有什么
Oh, guys, look what we have here.
– 看这个. 你最喜欢的 – 噢，你喜欢这个？
Look. Your favourite. Oh, you like that?
– 这不错啊 – 很好吧？那么，这是不可能存在的
– I can go with that. – Nice? Well, it doesn’t exist.
看她的头发，像河流般又长又柔顺
Look at the hair. It’s long, flowing – like a river.
嗯，这只是假发，OK？
Well, it’s a fucking weave, OK?
再看看这乳♥房♥♥，拜托！挺的我都能 把我的外套挂上去了
And the tits. Please! I could hang my overcoat on them.
乳♥房♥♥是用来哺育婴儿的
Tits, by design, were invented to be suckled by babies.
是的，乳♥房♥♥本来有它们的功用 这些，只是被硅填充的假货
Yes, they’re purely functional. These are silicone city.
再看– 我最喜欢的，被剃掉的阴毛
And look – my favourite, the shaved pubis.
阴毛本是自然的东西
Pubic hair being so unruly and all.
这是嘲笑，是耻辱 这 是 狗 屎
This is a mockery, a sham. This is bullshit.
用塑胶填充的胸部、假牙、抽脂
Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out,
接头发、做鼻子、剃毛
the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved…
她们不是真的女人. 她们只是些漂亮的怪物
These are not real women. They’re beauty freaks.
她们使我们这些有皱纹，
They make us normal women with our wrinkles,
胖胖的正常女人– 嗨，鲍勃– 感觉糟糕
our puckered boobs – hi, Bob – our cellulite, feel somehow inadequate.
哦，我是不会信这个
Well, I don’t buy it.
但是如果你们妄想得到这些女人，
But if you think there’s a chance you could get one of these women,
而你们却不喜欢真正的女人– 那真是悲哀
you don’t give us real women any commitment – it’s pathetic.
我不知道你们认为自己将来会怎样？ 你们最终在疗养院里做梦
What do you think you’ll do? You’ll end up drooling in some nursing home,
然后你们决定应该好好成个家，生几个孩子了，
then you’ll decide that it’s time to settle down, have kids?!
你们还想找个啦啦队长之类的女人？ 付钱，米奇
You gonna find a cheerleader? Charge it, Mitch.
– 你想得太简单了 – 噢，拜托！
– You’re oversimplifying. – Oh, eat me!
看看保罗– 贴了满墙的模特，连给狗取名都叫 艾拉·麦克弗森〔著名模特〕
Look at Paul – models on the wall, dog named Elle MacPherson.
他疯了！他迷失了. 你们都迷失了
He’s insane! He’s obsessed. You’re all obsessed.
如果你们还有一盎司的自尊、自重、自信
If you had an ounce of self-esteem, of self-worth, of self-confidence,
你们会体会到一句老话：美丽只流于表面
you would realise that as trite as it may sound, beauty is truly skin deep.
如果你们真有幸钩到一个模特，我保证 你们会厌倦的
And if you did hook a model, I guarantee you’d be sick of her.
是，我想我会厌倦
Yeah, I suppose I’d get sick of her
在20或30年后？
after about, what, 20 or 30 years?
醒醒吧. 谢谢，米奇. 替我问候格特鲁德
Get over yourself. Thank you, Mitch. Say hello to Gertrude.
不管她们胸部有多完美，腿有多长
No matter how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh,
除非有什么东西能打破自然规律
unless there’s some other shit going on besides the physical,
不然她们都会变老的，OK？
it’s going to get old, OK?
你们必须得明白这一点，
And you guys have got to get a grip,
否则人类的未来岌岌可危
otherwise the future of the human race is in jeopardy.
那是什么？
What was that?
我讨厌等你，皮特？
I have to wait for you, Pete?
我不知道
I don’t know.
– 大屁♥股♥ – 大咪♥咪♥. 不说了，走吧
– Great ass. – Nice tits. Come on. Let’s go.
– 嘿 – 在干嘛呢？
– Hey. – What’s up?
没什么
Nothing.
那个男孩是谁？
Who’s the guy?
– 安德鲁 威利斯. 他是我同学 – 哦. 你男朋友？
– Andrew Willis. He’s in my class. – Oh. He your boyfriend?
我不知道. 我想，他也不错
I don’t know. I guess. He’s OK.
他有点矮
He seemed a little short.
– 他只有12岁，威利 – 噢，是的
– He’s 12 years old, Willie. – Oh, right.
他真的…不怎么样
So, he’s not really… Right.
你还好吧？
Are you OK?
当然. 当然. 我…为什么这么问？
Yeah. Yeah, I’m… Why?
– 你今天看起来不太好 – 不！不，我很酷嘛
– You seem a little flavoured today. – No! No, I’m cool.
酷
Cool.
是
Yeah.
那么，说说看，你们这些小孩
So, tell me something. What do you kids…?
像你这么大的，周末都会做些什么？
What is it you do, kids your age, on the weekend?
嗯，最近我们疯狂吸毒
Well, what we’ve been doing lately is smoking massive amounts of drugs,
在Entenmanns狂欢， 听平克弗洛伊德的歌♥
bingeing on Entenmanns and listening to Pink Floyd.
真的？
Really?
你今天感冒了
You are flavoured today.
– 哦，你刚才说的都是开玩笑的吧？ – 狂欢那个是真的
– Oh, you’re kidding? – The Entenmanns part was true.
哦，哇喔
Oh. Wow.
那么…你喜欢那个叫安德鲁的男孩？
So… you like this guy Andrew?
他还好. 他赞成男性避孕， 这倒是个不错的交往前提
He’s OK. He’s into male contraception which is nice for a change.
– 开玩笑啦 – 你看起来真的很冷，威
Joking. You really got to chill, Will.
是的，是的
Right. Right.
我要进去了
I’m gonna go inside.
– 你确定你没事吗？ – 我会没事的
– You sure you’re OK? – I’ll be OK.
那就好
Good.
嘿，玛蒂！
Hey, Marty!
怎么？
Yes?
