有关时间旅行的热门问题（2009）

他们付你钱了吗 我可以给你小费
Have they paid you yet? I could get you a tip.
不是给脱衣舞♥女♥那种 显然你不是
Not in a stripper kind of way because obviously you’re not a stripper.
但你有个好坯子 要是穿上…一定很漂亮
But you’d make a fine one. I’m sure you’d look great in a…
等一下
Wait a minute.
这是什么
What’s this?
透过这儿 我能感觉到有一颗杉树
I can-I can feel a fir tree through here!
这…
There’s…
这后边有另外一个世界
There’s a whole other world back here
有雪 有荆棘 还有会说话的狮子
With-with snow and thorns and talking lions.
真的吗
Is there?
不是
No!
妈的
Dick.
我爱看纳尼亚传奇
I love Narnia.
再见 雷
Bye, Ray.
凯西 凯西
Cassie! Cassie!
雷 我真的该走了
Ray, I really have to go.
不 不 不 你以为我是他?
Oh, no, no, no! You think I’m him?
我不是他 我是说 很明显 我是我
I’m not him. I mean, obviously, I am.
我们真的需要你帮助
We really need your help.
首先 我现在完全相信你是个时间旅行者了
First of all, I now believe you are a time traveller.
很抱歉刚才怀疑你 还说你是脱衣舞♥女♥
Sorry about doubting you there and sorry about the whole stripper,
还有女太空人
Space-woman thing.
好的
Ok.
其次呢 我发现了你所说的时间裂缝
And second of all, I think we found your time leak.
就在男厕所里
It’s in the gents.
很好 很好
Oh, oh, very good. Very good.
-原来裂缝是在… -在厕所里
– So the leak is… – In a toilet.
没错 看来宇宙很有幽默感啊
Yes, yes! It seems the universe has a sense of humour.
而且很有趣 动作也很快
And it’s very funny and quick too.
你不相信我
You don’t believe me.
猜对了
Touch?
不 不 不
Oh, no. No, no!
这次是来真的 皮特在酒吧里看见尸体了
This is for real, ok? Pete saw dead bodies in the pub.
好吧 我得爬回我的宇宙飞船然后消失了
Ok, well, I’ve got to go climb back into my spaceship and disappear.
你看 那为什么我要藏两个男人在壁橱里呢
Look, why else would I have two men in this cupboard?
回头见 未来男孩
I’ll see you around, future boy.
等一下 凯西 凯西
Wait, Cassie! Cassie!
我觉得我们是时候再聊一聊了 雷
I think it’s time we had another little chat, Ray.
-你确定我们在外边没事吗 -是的 没事
– So you’re sure we’re ok out here? – Yes, we’re fine.
接下来23分钟里应该没人出来
No one’s due out in the garden for another 23 minutes.
好的
Ok. Good.
你换新造型了
This is a bit of a new look for you.
-喜欢吗 -喜欢
– Do you like it? – Yes.
我是说 很漂亮 动作也很快
I mean, you know, it’s very nice. Very quick too.
从我的角度来说不是这样的
Well, not from my point of view.
实际上花了好长时间才弄出来的
It actually took quite a bit of time to sort all this out.
-真的吗 多长久 -半年
– Oh, yeah? How long? – Six months.
你只是走过那扇门 就经历了未来的半年
So, you just went through the door, went into the future for six months
-然后又回来了… -只是在我离开你的一秒钟后
– And then came back out… – One second after I left you.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
那么…
So, it’s erm…
都处理好了吧 时间裂缝还有那些尸体
It’s all sorted, then, with the time leak and dead bodies?
是的 都处理好了
Yep. All sorted.
你确定?
Are you sure?
雷 过去的半年我不是只染了头发而已
Ray, I didn’t spend the last six months just dyeing my hair.
我是专业人士
I’m a professional.
那么 这一切到底是怎么回事
So, what was all this about, then?
抱歉 我不能告诉你
I’m sorry, I can’t tell you.
什么 为什么
What. Why not?
那些知识在你们这个时代是无法解释的
That knowledge is anachronous to your time period.
听上去对于你说的这些问题你好像很懂啊
That sounded like you really knew what you were talking about.
我知道 我知道
I know. I know!
很棒 不是吗
It’s great, isn’t it?
我按你说的做了 开始自信的谈论事情
I did what you told me and started saying everything with confidence
即使我不知道我说的是什么
Even if I don’t have a clue.
效果惊人 我还升职了
It’s just had an amazing effect. I even got a promotion.
真的?
Really?
你升职了?
You got a promotion?
我结束了试用期
Well, I got off probation.
都一样
That’s pretty much the same.
是的
Yeah.
你认为我该怎样躲开那边混乱的情况呢
And what did you reckon to me avoiding that paradox in there?
雷 你刚才躲在壁橱里
Ray, you hid in a cupboard.
我认为在刚才那种情况下我做的没错
I thought I did well under the circumstances.
我又没有要遵守的指南
I mean, sure, I don’t have a manual to ignore.
你能别提指南的事了吗
Will you stop it with the manual?
那我们怎么才能回到正确的时间上去呢
So, how do we get back to the right time?
无论如何 就快了
Well, er, we’re nearly there, anyway.
-那我们就这么等着? -是的
– So we just wait? – Yeah.
在壁橱里?
In the cupboard?
恐怕是的
I’m afraid so.
没有发光的入口?
No glowing portal?
没有漩涡? 也没有大型的星际飞船?
No vortex? No big star ship?
只能坐在壁橱里等着?
Just sit and wait in the cupboard?
是啊
Yeah.
时间旅行并不像想象中的那么有魅力
Not exactly the glamour that I had expected from time travel.
我跟你说过的
I did warn you.
我可以在这里和你一起等吗
Any chance I could wait out here with you?
为什么
Why?
只是…因为…
Just, erm, because…
这比和两个臭烘烘的男人挤在壁橱里好多了
It’s better than wedging myself in a cupboard with two very sweaty men.
-那可不怎么样 -是啊 是不怎么样
– Not a good thing. – No. No, I imagine not.
那我们就这样待一会儿
So, we’ll just hang out here for a while.
好啊 这样挺好
Yeah. That would be nice.
你不是说我们有20分钟吗
I thought you said we had 20 minutes.
是啊
Yeah.
这不是问题
Oh, it’s… not a problem.
我要去看看
I’m just going to go check that out and
也许你该回到壁橱去了
Maybe you should get back in that cupboard.
-所有事会恢复正常吗 -雷 放松点
– But everything’s going to be ok? – Ray, relax.
我告诉过你 我是专业人士
I told you, I’m a professional.
他们说在户外接吻感觉更好
Well, they do say that things taste better outside.
感谢上帝
Thank God.
户外接吻感觉更好
Things taste better outside.
笨蛋
Twat.
-坚持住 -停下来
– Hang on. – Pack it in.
就是这儿
This is it.
小皮特 改变主意了吗
Hello, Petey. Change your mind?
不 我就在这儿看着
No. Just gonna watch from here.
该死 该死 你♥他♥妈♥在干什么呢
Shit-shit-shit! What the fuck are you doing?
-你要去哪儿 -我要尿尿
– Where are you going? – I need a piss.
-你们不能进去 -你说那个女人已经搞定了啊
– You can’t go in there! – You said your woman fixed it.
我肯定 但那几个我们说不定还在里边呢
I’m sure she has, but the other us might still be in there.
天哪 去女厕所就好了
Oh, my… just go to the ladies.
女厕所?
Ladies?
感觉真奇怪
I’m confused.
你在女厕里撒尿 当然会觉得奇怪啊
You’re pissing in the ladies, of course you’re confused.
那几个我们已经及时回去并取代我们了
So, the other versions of us have gone back in time and become us.
你看 你好像觉得这很有意义似的
Oh, you see? You say that like it makes sense.
对我来说这一切都太疯狂了
To me it’s just crazy talk.
我倒是挺喜欢女厕所的
I quite like it in the ladies.
真奇怪
I’m so confused.
皮特 不要担心啦
Look, Pete, don’t worry about it.
你只要知道我们马上可以回到对的时间了
All you need to know is that we’re back in the right time
然后一切就都没事了
And everything is going to be ok.
你有那女的电♥话♥吗 雷
Did you get that girl’s number, Ray?
该死
Oh, shit.
-你说她已经搞定了 -她说她搞定了啊
– You said she had fixed it. – She said she had.
也许她不知道我们会进女厕所
Maybe she didn’t expect us to go into the ladies.
我们也没有跳康加舞
And we didn’t do that Conga thing.