议事录（2019）

– Oh do shut up, Diana
– I tell you, it’s the great mystery of our time
人♥民♥一心要找个伊顿公学毕业的老男人来祸害这个国家
The insatiable desire of the people
of this country to be fucked by an Old Etonian
– 我本来是在说狐狸的事
– 狐狸？
– I was talking about the fox
– The fox?
你应该很清楚，看看我那可怜的草坪
看着就像索姆河战场
As you know perfectly well.
Look at my poor lawn. It’s like the Somme out there
– 哦，我懂了
– 简直像无人区，像是受到了严重的炮击
– Oh, I see
– No-man’s land. Bout of particularly heavy shelling
真是抱歉，罗宾
太丢人了，我还以为你说的是这个国家呢
Oh, I’m so sorry, Robin. How embarrassing, because
I thought you were talking about the country, you see
– 好吧
– “这神佑之乡”（莎士比亚《理查二世》）
– Yes, all right
– ‘This blessed plot’
– 行吧
– “这英格兰大地……”
– Yes
– ‘This England…’
你又来了，我受不了你了
Oh don’t start up again.
I’m not sure I can take any more
– 来啊，我还可以再战一轮
– 不行
– Go on, I can have one more bash
– No you can’t
– 一点都不？
– 不行
– Not even a little…
– No
不行，那好吧
不过一天中的这个时候，也不算差吧？
No, all right. Wasn’t bad though, was it?
This stage in the day
– 还可以吧
– 没有热身
– It was all right
– Without a warm up
– 还行
– 只是来一点……立定跳远
– It was fine
– Just a sort of… standing jump
– 你说什么？
– 是叫这个吧？
– Sorry?
– Isn’t that what it was called?
没有助跑，双脚起跳，跳进沙坑里
No run-up. Both feet together and they just
hurled themselves out into the sandpit
– 立定跳远，罗宾
– 我不……
– The standing jump, Robin
– I don’t…
你肯定记得
行啦，我们家体育相关的胜利时刻
Of course you do. Oh, come on.
The moments of sporting triumph in our family…
就只有那么几次，还间隔很久
你不可能忘的
…have been so few and far between,
you can’t possibly have forgotten
龙校（The Dragon，著名私立学校）的运动日
That final sports day at The Dragon
只在英格兰预备学校（公学之前的私立学校）运动场上
才有的那种夏日
The kind of summer’s day you only get
on the playing fields of an English prep school
查韦尔河岸边
远处有板球的声音，停车场停满了沃尔沃
The banks of the Cherwell, the distant sound
of cricket balls, the car parks full of Volvos
– 你这是干什么？
– 怀旧，亲爱的
– What are you doing?
– Nostalgia, darling
哎，别用那种表情看我
托利党（即保守党）的全部竞选策略基本也就是它了
Well, don’t give me that look. It’s more or less
the entire electoral strategy of the Tory Party
– 她又开始了
– 他还得了个奖章呢
– Oh, she’s off again
– And he won a rosette
– 什么？
– 不是吗？这就是了
– Sorry?
– Didn’t he? There we are, you see
“那是失却的乐土，在我眼中光华灿烂”
‘That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain’
“满载欢欣的大路，我曾走过却难回还”
（A.E.豪斯曼，《什罗普郡一少年》）
‘Those happy highways where I went,
and cannot come again’
– 我觉得艾滋病总可以吧
– 你说什么？
– I suppose there’s always AIDS
– I’m sorry?
– 你觉得怎么样
– 艾滋病？
– What do you think?
– AIDS?
你说你想要得个什么病，附近又没有公路能帮忙
Only you said you wanted to catch something.
In the absence of an A road
当然了，它感染性很强
这正是它的优点，不像癌症那么随机
And of course it’s terribly infectious. That’s the real
advantage. Trouble with cancer, it’s so hit and miss
现在是谁在恶心人了？
Now who’s being disgusting?
来啊，来点静脉注射的毒品，再加上点无保护的性行为
说不定你还乐在其中呢
Oh, go on. A bit of intravenous drug use.
Some unprotected sex. You might even enjoy it
– 怎么？我觉得这主意不错呢
– 是吗？
– What? I think it could be rather a good idea
– Do you?
足以让你一举成名
它无所不至，我们就这么说
Really put you on the map.
There’s nowhere it can’t go, that’s how we’d pitch it
哪怕是全国最高贵的家族
不论男女，不论贫富，不论老幼
It can reach the very highest houses in the land.
Men and women, rich and poor, young and old
我认为这可算是真正的公共服务，而且你猜怎么？
I think it could be a real public service.
And you know what?
我敢打赌，连戴妃都会来看望你
I bet we could get you a visit from Lady Di
她可是对这些人着迷得很
整天待在艾滋病房♥里拉都拉不走
Because she’s mad about them.
We can’t keep her out of the AIDS wards
病房♥里全是摄影师
护士都快挤不到病人身边了
So many photographers in there,
the nurses can hardly get at the patients
可以让索梅斯家的人（丘吉尔后人）给传个话
带上媒体，这就是你的高光时刻
We could get the Soames’ to put a word in.
Bring some press along, it could be your big moment
而且你知道的，你在幕后等待时机等得够久了
And you know what?
You’ve waited in the wings for long enough
原来我在等待时机啊？
Is that what I’ve been doing?
这么多年来你一直在背景里给我加油助威
All these years you’ve been there
in the background, cheering me on
– 你的支持如同滔滔江水
– 哈！
– The torrents of support
– Ha!
– 也该轮到你闪耀了
– 谢谢你，亲爱的
– It’s your turn to shine
– Thank you, darling
就这么定了
吃完午饭我就开车送你去赛伦赛斯特
Well, there we are.
I shall drive you into Cirencester after lunch
– 你真好心，罗宾
– 可不是吗
– You’re too kind, Robin
– Well, I am
– 思虑周全
– 啊，这是我的弱点
– Too thoughtful
– No, it’s a failing, isn’t it?
我之所以无法担任重大国务官位就是这个原因
在下不幸身负过高的情商
It’s why the great offices of state have eluded me.
Here I am, cursed with emotional intelligence
我还以为你没能登上权力顶峰
是因为你没有娶到合适类型的夫人
I thought you hadn’t made it to the top
because you didn’t have the right sort of wife
– 这是什么话？
– 你一直在这样暗示啊
– What’s that?
– That’s what you normally imply
我做梦都不会做这样的暗示
I’d never dream of implying that
他们在想，可怜的老赫斯基斯
被那可怕的左翼女人拖累了
Poor old Hesketh. That’s what they all think, isn’t it?
Lumbered with that frightful left-wing woman
– 没人这么想
– 他们当然是这么想的
– Nobody thinks that
– Of course they do
他们并不认为你是左翼，亲爱的
他们认为你神经兮兮
No, they don’t think you’re left wing, darling.
They think you’re highly strung
– 滚蛋
– 这两者还是有区别的
– Oh, fuck off
– It’s not exactly the same thing
我不是神经兮兮，而是非常不幸福，还是有区别的
And I’m not highly strung. I’m profoundly unhappy.
Not exactly the same thing
– 你知道真正让人难以忍♥受的是什么吗？
– 我还真知道
– Do you know what’s really unbearable?
– I do, actually
现在感觉这像是复仇
It’s beginning to feel like a vendetta
明明有整个不列颠的土地任它选择
When it has the entirety
of mainland Britain to choose from
而它不但要来我的选区，还专挑我本人的花♥园♥
Because it isn’t just my constituency it returns to.
It’s my actual garden
– 我又说回狐狸的话题了
– 好的
– I’m back on the fox
– Yes
你看到没？整个权杖之岛在我们四周开疆拓土
Do you see? The whole sceptred isle
spreading out around us on every side
看到了
I do
想想看，有那么多空地可以让它们挖，我就不懂了
And if you think of the great open spaces
it could dig up. That’s what gets me
整个科茨沃尔德，整个南部丘陵国家公园
The whole of the Cotswolds are there.
The South Downs
– 是啊
– 威尔士的峡谷，约克郡的荒原
– Yes
– The Welsh valleys, the Yorkshire Moors
– 真是没天理
– 布雷肯比肯斯国家公园
– No, it’s terribly unfair
– The Brecon Beacons
– 老天，他可真是滔滔不绝啊
– 峰区国家公园，谷地国家公园
– Oh my God, he’s on a roll
– The Peaks, the Dales
– 差不多行了
– 凯恩戈姆山
– That’s it
– The Cairngorms
– 你去和它们说啊
– 苏格兰的高地，伊顿的操场