议事录（2019）

不是吧！
Oh no!
难以置信，每次都他妈是这样
Unbelievable. Every shitting time
离我远点！
Leave me alone!
– 它们永远不会，你知道的
– 戴安娜？
– They never will, you know
– Diana?
所谓复仇女神, 就是永远不会放过你
Whole point about the Furies.
Never let you go
上帝啊，她居然还活着！
My God, she’s still alive!
– 我懂，真是噩梦一场啊
– 真是成就非凡啊
– I know, it’s a nightmare
– It’s a triumph
– 还在苟延残喘
– 干得漂亮，亲爱的
– Still breathing away
– Well done you, darling
– 依然拖着我的残骸在厨房♥周围游荡
– 啊，但这是怎样一具残骸啊
– Still hauling my carcass round the kitchen
– Ah, but what a carcass it is
– 女士们先生们请上眼，她真是风采依旧
– 真的吗？
– Look at that, ladies and gentlemen, she’s still got it
– Do I really?
光彩照人啊，戴安娜！
年龄无法损她分毫，岁月也对她宽宏大量
Dazzling, Diana!
Age shall not weary her, nor the years condemn
就是这样，郝薇香小姐嫉妒死了
（Miss Havisham，狄更斯《远大前程》中的人物）
There we are.
Miss Havisham, eat your heart out
– 什么小姐？
– 但你是这么希望的对吧？
– Miss what?
– That’s the hope, though, is it?
某个周末回家
发现我脸朝下倒在猫薄荷丛里
Get back one weekend
and find me face down in the catmint
– 我明白你有多失望
– 我去个洗手间
– I can see it must be terribly disappointing
– I’m spending a penny
尤其是再想想可怜的公共医疗服务
Especially when one thinks
of the poor old Health Service
我听不见
I can’t hear
你们在大批地把人赶走，不是吗？
Because you’re turning them away in droves,
aren’t you?
他们在走廊里生命垂危
我却连个疱疹都得不上
They’re dying in the corridors,
and I can’t even catch a bit of shingles
– 你知道这该怪谁吗？
– 我，我猜你要说
– You know what I blame?
– Me, I imagine
– 都怪空气太新鲜
– 都怪……
– All this fresh air
– You blame…
住在风景如画的科茨沃尔德就是这么可怕
But then this is what’s so terrifying
about living in the Cotswolds
人根本死不掉
One could go on forever
你知道要想摆脱我，需要什么吗？
You know what we need?
If you’re ever going to get rid of me?
一条多车道公路
A dual carriageway
– 一条啥？
– 一条公路，要有稳定的重型货车车流
– A…?
– An A road. Steady stream of heavy goods vehicles
哦明白了
Oh I see
这可是你的选区，办成这事应该不难吧？
It’s your constituency.
You could make it happen, couldn’t you?
牺牲一下绿化带，奉献一下马场
众所周知伯福德镇正缺一条环镇公路呢
Deconsecrate the green belt. Offer up the paddock.
And we know Burford’s desperate for a bypass
– 你还好吗？
– 何止是好，简直是生机勃勃，就是如此
– Are you all right?
– I’m not just all right, I’m thriving. This is it
你还没穿好衣服
You’re not dressed
除了那点莫名其妙的自发性骨折
我身体好得可怕
The odd self-inflicted fracture aside,
I’m in relentlessly good health
已经过了十一点了，你知道今天是什么日子
It’s after eleven.
And you know what day it is
– 我想，总还是有抽烟这个选项的
– 你说什么？
– I suppose there’s always smoking
– I’m sorry?
你觉得一天得抽多少支烟
How many do you think
one would have to get through a day…
才能确保足够高的患癌几率？
十支？二十支？
…to give oneself a really good shot at cancer?
Ten do you think? Twenty?
– 我的老天……
– 不行吗？
– Oh for goodness sake
– No?
– 别恶心人了
– 你说的对，当然，这主意太糟糕了
– Don’t be disgusting
– No, you’re right. Of course you are. Terrible idea
– 话说回来……
– 这样去世太不体面了，是不是？
– Anyway…
– Because it’s such an unattractive way to go, isn’t it?
掉的头发堵满浴室下水道
All that hair tufting out in the shower
这就是了，到底还是虚荣心占了上风
There we are.
Vanity prevails yet again
– 你准备一天都这样吗？
– 你猜怎么，我觉得是
– Are you going to be like this all day?
– Do you know, I think I am
哦好，太好了
回家可真是让人高兴
Oh good. Excellent. Thrilled I came back
你不会以为就可以这么算了吧？
But then you didn’t think
you’d get away with it, did you?
– 什么意思？
– 你不会以为自己可以全身而退吧
– Sorry?
– Didn’t think you’d get off scot-free
– 怎么回事？
– 我只是……
– What is it?
– I’m just…
– 是什么？
– 没什么，这样不好
– What?
– No, it’s no good
– 你在干什么
– 我正要回忆一下我为什么和你结婚
– What are you doing?
– I was trying to remember why I married you
为什么我还要回家来？
这才是真正的问题
And why I still come back like this.
That’s the real question
外面的路况有多可怕你知道吗？
Because it’s hell out there on the roads.
Did you know that?
然而我每周还是杀出一条路来回到你身边
And yet every week I flog my way back to you
汉格巷回旋，牛津环路，恐怖的A40公路
The Hangar Lang gyratory, the Oxford bypass,
the horrors of the A40
上帝啊，我为什么要这么跟自己过不去？
My God, why do I put myself through it?
不知道，罗宾，我猜大概是负罪感吧
I don’t know, Robin. Guilt, I imagine
– 你说什么？
– 要不然就是因为花♥园♥？
– I’m sorry?
– Well it’s either that or the garden
– 你可别提
– 怎么？
– Oh don’t
– What?
– 简直让人无法忍♥受
– 负罪感？
– It’s unbearable
– The guilt?
– 我说的是花♥园♥，别告诉我你没注意到
– 注意到什么？
– The garden. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed?
– Noticed?
– 老天啊，戴安娜，看看花♥园♥受损程度！
– 哦！损坏！哦我明白了
– Oh for goodness sake, Diana. The damage!
– Oh the damage! Oh I see
– 又来了
– 这个我确实注意到了，当然注意到了，真是不好意思
– Again
– No, I did notice that, of course I did. I’m so sorry
– 真是令人伤心啊，是不是
– 我是这么觉得
– Because it’s heartbreaking, isn’t it
– Well I think so
– 看它这种状态
– 没错
– To see it in that sort of state
– Yes
– 饱受摧残
– 一点不假
– Ravaged like that
– Exactly
– 满目疮痍，整个国家破败不堪
– 什么？
– Decimated. Whole country in tatters
– What?
可是出于某种奇妙的原因
人们还是不停地选保守党上台
And yet for some extraordinary reason
they all keep voting Conservative
– 他们这是什么毛病？
– 哈，哈
– What’s wrong with them?
– Ha ha
按说他们应该吸取教训啊？或迟或早？
Because you think they’d learn, wouldn’t you?
At some point?
– 而且我还一直告诫他们不要给你们投票
– 哦，是吗？
– And I’m always telling them not to vote for you
– Oh, are you?
– 我在威特尼的街上游荡，告诫他们
– 好啊
– I wander the streets of Witney, telling them
– Oh good
我在超♥市♥里和人搭讪，我说他们虽然很会讲话
I accost them in the supermarket.
I say they may talk a good game…
但实情是他们难以想象的危险
…but the truth is they’re unbelievably dangerous
– 我是知道的，我说，我丈夫就是其中之一
– 我受宠若惊
– I should know, I say. I’m married to one
– I’m so pleased
因为如果你真的停下来仔细观察
我蹒跚在在卖♥♥水果蔬菜的过道时就这么和人讲
Because if you really stop and look…
this is what I say as I totter the fruit and veg aisle
你就会发现长♥期♥占优的执政党其实能力难以置信的差
…you’ll notice that the natural party of government
is in fact unbelievably bad at it
我本来是在说花♥园♥
Yes, I was talking about the garden
然而就像长♥期♥受虐的妻子一样
他们总还是要回头去找你们，是不是？
And yet like a battered wife,
they keep coming back to you, don’t they?
– 快闭嘴吧，戴安娜
– 我跟你讲，这就是我们这个时代的未解之谜啊