这个周我意识到了一些事情
I realised a few things
this past week.
是吗?什么事情?
You did? Like what?
比如,我们在念大学
Like, we’re in college.
去玩儿、去认识人的机会
The window of opportunity to go out
and have fun and meet new people
变得越来越小
is getting smaller by the day.
你是吗?
你别这样,乔希
– It is?
– Come on, Josh.
我们一直在一起
We’ve been together forever.
我是说…
你几乎.上是我唯一的男友
I mean…you’re pretty much
the only guy I’ve ever been with.
“几乎.唯一的”是什么意思?
What do you mean,
“pretty much the only guy”?
我十四岁那年,你去露营了
那是多年以前的事
Well, I was 14, and you were away
at camp, but that was years ago.
此外,我们处于不同的地区
Besides,
we’re in different area codes.
我也想过不少我们的关系
I’ve been thinking a lot
about us, too.
我来的真正原因是…
The real reason I drove down…
等等
Hold that thought.
喂?
Hello?
对,他在这儿
Yeah, he’s right here.
你是谁?
Who is this?
等等
Hold on.
找你的,是贝思
It’s for you. It’s Beth.
贝思是谁?
Who’s Beth?
贝思,你怎么了?
Beth? What are you doing?
我不知道我们怎么了
但我得告诉你一件事情
I’m not sure what’s going on between
us but I need to tell you something.
我很高兴你来电♥话♥
我也有事要告诉你
I’m actually glad you called,
cos I wanted to tell you something.
好,你先讲
OK, you first.
现在不太方便
I can’t really talk right now,
我回去后一定好好解释
but I’ll explain everything
when I get back.
好吧?真的,我保证
‘OK? Really. I promise.’
我要挂了,好吗?
Uh, I-I gotta get going, OK?
你等等,你不想听我的吗?
你对,抱歉
– Wait! Do you want to hear mine?
– Right. Sorry.
是好消息?
Is it good?
恐怕不是,雅各布骗了你
Not really. Jacob lied to you.
期中考试你不能延期
There’s no extension
on your mid-term.
什么?
What?
他耍你,你回不来就过不了
‘He tried to trick you. If you
don’t get back you’re gonna fail.’
混♥蛋♥!
Shit!
她应该精明,有趣
‘She should be smart and funny.’
你我来电♥话♥你高兴吗?
你高兴,谢谢
– ‘Aren’t you glad I called?’
– Yes. Thank you.
我一回去就给你打电♥话♥,再见
I’ll call you as soon
as I get back, OK? Bye.
这是给我的?
– Is this for me?
– Hmm?
啊,天啊,不!你别…
Oh, God, no, no, no! You don’t…
这是什么?
What the hell is this?
我上电视了,再倒带看看
‘I can see myself on TV,
I think it must be rewound.’
是巴里
It’s Barry.
嗨,看…
‘Hey, look…
看,我看到我的屁♥股♥了
‘Look at that. I can see my bum.
(Laughs )’
你为什么给我这个?
Why would you send this to me?
等等你你们分手了
拥抱后你就离开了?
So wait – you guys broke up,
then you hugged and then you left?
对,大致是这样
Yeah, pretty much.
输家!分手前一定要再来一次
Loser! Always have sex with the girl
one last time before you break up.
谁都会这样!
Everyone knows that!
不能那样,我认识她很久
她是我最好的朋友
It’s not like that. I’ve known her
my whole life. She’s my best friend.
那,我们现在干什么?
So, what do we do now?
你想抽两口吗?
你不抽
– Wanna smoke some drugs?
– I don’t think so.
再过46小时就要考试了
我必须回去
My mid-term starts in exactly
46 hours so I got to get back.
虽然我不会通过,但…
Although I’m gonna fail anyway,
so it doesn’t matter but…
你考什么试?
你古代哲学
– Which class was it?
– Ancient Philosophy.
我能在46小时之内教会你
I can teach you ancient philosophy
in 46 hours.
你能?
You can?
我能在46小时内教会猴子
I can teach a monkey in 46 hours.
关键是让你有兴趣
You just got to find a way
to relate to the material.
就像…你喜欢职业摔角吗?
Like, OK…
You like pro wrestling, don’t you?
你谁不喜欢?
你好
– Who doesn’t?
– OK.
苏格拉底就是哲学上的温森
Socrates was like
the Vince McMahon of philosophy.
他发起了哲学
He started it all.
两天之后艾菲嘉大学
晚了57分钟
啊,二十人皇家大战是什么?
Oh, what was the 20-Man Battle Royal?
参与解释预言,亚里士多德
Participation explains predication.
Aristotle.

Right.
你懂这个!你没事儿
You know this! You’ll be fine.
站住,呆那儿!别动!
Freeze, right there! Don’t move!
这是哲学课吗?
Is this philosophy?
有什么消息,打电♥话♥给我
If you hear anything, give me a call.
炸♥弹♥威胁是重罪,我的名片
A bomb threat is serious.
Take my card.

– OK.
– (Sirens wailing)
好,我们走吧
(Cop ) OK, let’s move it.
炸♥弹♥威胁是怎么回事儿?
What’s goin’ on
with this bomb threat?
谎报,各位,大家回去
False alarm, people.
Everyone back inside.
我们要考试了,对
We’re gonna do this thing.
That’s right.
你乔希
你贝思!
– Josh.
– Beth!
嗨…谢谢你的电♥话♥
Hey, um…thanks for calling.
这个星期真离奇
Uh, it’s been a really weird week.
你考得怎么样?
So, how’d you do?
实际上,很不错
On the exam? Pretty good, actually.
你真的?
你真的
– You did?
– Yeah.
你感到奇怪吗?
Were you surprised?
你考试来晚了
You weren’t back
in time for the exam,
于是我打电♥话♥说有炸♥弹♥…
so I, uh, called in a bomb threat.
是你打的?
You did that?
你发疯了
(Laughs ) That’s insane.
我不能让雅各布赶你出校
I wasn’t gonna let Jacob
get you kicked out.
此外,下学期我会需要你
Besides, I might need you
around next semester.
我没做错,对吧?
So I did good, right?
做错?
Good?
这是别人为我做的最棒的事
That’s the coolest thing
anyone’s ever done for me.
妈妈?
Mom?
对不起
(Panting) I’m so sorry.
妈妈?
Mom?
故事使我情不自禁
I got carried away
with the story there.
不管怎样,乔希得到了B+
So, anyway,
Josh got a B+ on his mid-term.
继续上学
He got to stay in college.

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