哈啦上路（2000）

我知道，相信我，我试过
(EL) I know. Believe me, I’ve tried.
那就闲话少说，首先介绍…
Without further ado,
let’s introduce our first…person.
劳拉！
– Laura!
– (Applause )
她来自长岛
Laura’s from Long Island.
喜欢户外活动和吃海鲜
She likes the outdoors
and loves seafood.
你好，拍卖♥♥从五元开始
你三块五
– OK, let’s start the bidding at $5!
– $3.50!
天啊，钱袋们
她不是麦当劳的儿童餐
Good God, moneybags,
she’s not a Happy Meal.
五块
有人出五块，谁出十块？
– $5.
– OK, we’ve got five. Do I hear 10?
十块
– 10 bucks.
– (Auctioneer calling)
谁出十五与劳拉共度一晚？
Who’s got 15 bucks
for a lovely evening with Laura?!
好，十五块，谁再加些？
十五块，一，二
OK, we got 15. Who can beat 15?
Going once, going twice…
卖♥♥给…队长了
Sold…to the captain.
你在这儿
There you are.
嗨，你在干什么？
没干什么
– Hey, what’s going on?
– Not much.
你你真漂亮
你谢谢
– You look great.
– Thank you.
别客气
You’re welcome.
听着，雅克布来了
他是个疯子
Listen, Jacob’s here,
and he’s a total psycho…
你可以叫赢他吗？
Can you go outbid him?
但我没带那么多钱
You know what,
I didn’t bring that much money.
你不明白，他迷上我了
You don’t understand. He’s obsessed.
这很有趣，对吧？
See? That’s fun, right?
好，现在我要你们互吻对方
OK, OK. Now, I want you two
to kiss each other.
有人见到贝思了吗？她在那儿
All right, has anyone seen Beth?
There she is!
贝思，对大家打个招呼
嗨
– (Cheering)
– Say hi to the crowd, Beth.
有人开价五块了吗？
Can I hear a $5 opening bid?
我出五块
谁能击败五块？
– $5 right here!
– Who can beat five?
七块
十块
– Seven.
– $10.
十块！一，二
十五块！
– $10! Going once. Going twice.
– $15!
二十块
二十五块！
– 20.
– 25!
二十五，谁能击败二十五？
25. Who can beat 25? Going once.
一，二
二十六
– Going twice.
– 26.
二十六，一
三十！
– 26, going once.
– 30!
好，谁来击败二十六？
我刚叫过三十
– OK, can anyone beat $26?
– I just said 30!
一定会有人击败二十六
There must be someone
who can beat $26?
我呀！在这儿，三十
卖♥♥给乔希二十六块
– Me, right here! 30!
– Sold! To my man Josh for $26.
你听到我高声叫喊三十块
You heard me.
I bid $30 loud and clear.
你的不算
Your bid didn’t count.
为什么？
因为你是助教
– Why?
– Because you’re a TA.
怎样啦？
这是学生的拍卖♥♥
– So?
– This auction is for students.
再见
Goodbye.
谢谢你，我欠你一个
Thanks for doing that. I owe you one.
欠我何止一个
是吗？
– You owe me more than one.
– Do I?
严格地说
Technically.
那…
Well…
你准备好提货了吗？
are you ready to collect?
对，准备好了
I think so. Yeah.
我们互相抚摸
We’re touching.
非常有趣
It’s a lot of fun. (Chuckles )
我们很开心
– We’re having a good time.
– (Chuckles )
我想你爱你的渧芬妮
(Romantic music)
渧芬妮是谁？
Who’s Tiffany Henderson?
我五岁开始约会的女孩
Just some girl I used to date
since I was, like, five.
现在散了，她蹬了我
But that’s over now. She blew me off.
啊，可怜的孩子
Oh, poor baby.
你一定很难过
You must be very hurt.
你需要特别的照顾吗？
Do you need some special attention?
的确，我很难过
Well, I am pretty upset.
这样会好点儿吗？
Did that help?
好多了
That helped a lot.
我有个主意
I have an idea.
你说呢？
What do you say?
嗯，这不太好
Uh, I don’t think so.
来！会很好玩
Come on! It’ll be fun.
你我一直想试这个
你不…
– I’ve always wanted to try this.
– No…
来
Yes.
我来采访你
I’m gonna interview you.
可以
Fine.
好
OK.
你好，乔希
你好
– OK, Josh.
– Yes.
你喜欢什么样的女孩子？
What do you look for in a girl?
嗯，让我想想
Um, well, let’s see.
她应当精明有趣…
She should be smart and funny and…
这也很不错
That’s good, too.
现在觉得好点了吗？
Do you feel better yet?
好一点儿了，对，一点点儿
I feel a little bit better.
Yeah. A little…
你还喜欢什么？
What else do you look for?
她要漂亮…
She should be attractive and…
温柔…
nice and…
无上装，无上装
Topless. And topless.
还要吻我
And she should kiss me.
还有呢？
What else?
她不应该停止吻我
She shouldn’t stop kissing me.
你为什么停下来？
Why don’t you keep doing that?
小小三文鱼在溪中游动
# Tiny salmon swimming in a stream
小小三文鱼有非份之想
# Tiny salmon
chasing that impossible dream
八哥鸟说
# The mynah bird says
黑猩猩说
# The chimpanzee says
猫头鹰朋友说
# The friendly owl says
但三文鱼只会说
# But the salmon can only say
好可怜啊
# And it’s sad #
早安，各位
# Good morning, everyone.
早安，各位
# Good morning, everyone.
你好，你好，你好？
# How are you and you and you #
你为什么这么高兴？
What are you so happy about?
不知道，今早我像高兴吗？
I don’t know.
Do I seem happy this morning?
对，你在这儿跳来跳去
Well, you’re bouncing around here.
你确实看起来特别开心
You do seem
unusually light-hearted.
可能是昨夜
我度过了一生最好的夜晚
Maybe it’s because I had
the best time of my life last night.
两次！今早又干了一次
Twice! And once this morning.
你和贝思？
You and Beth?