Well, l’d advise against it. Against it.

Listen.
哈肯
Harken.
廓尔喀三号♥的幸存者们 快进军吧!
Survivors of the Third Gurkhas, quick march !
缅♥甸♥人在集♥合♥了
lt’s the Burma reunion.
还有热乎的晚餐
And hot dinner.
骑兵来了!
The Cavalry cometh !
我必须马上找到艾伯特•霍尔
l must find the Albert Hall.
得在外面待到天亮
l shall be out till dawn.
不用等我了 也不要收任何租金
No, don’t wait up. And don’t take any rent.
终于调走他了 快 阿卜杜勒 我们拿些家具进去
That’s got rid of him. Come on, Abdul, let’s get the furniture in.
妈妈
Mummy!
谢了 亲爱的
Thank you, my dear.
众所周知 电是文明的生命线
As you chaps know, electricity is the life blood of civilisation.
没有电 文明也会消逝
Without electricity, civilisation as we know it could not survive.
所以我决定 在上帝的庇佑下不停地蹬脚踏车
So l intend, with God’s help, to go on pedalling this bicycle
直到我们熬过六天的黑暗
until we’ve hit this desolation for six
获得上帝赐予的、战胜邪恶的力量
and won God’s just victory over the forces of evil.
嗯?嗯?
Hmm? Hmm?
妈妈!
Mummy!
我到这儿上面看看
l’ll look up here.
不要…
No. . .

噢 你在看吗
ALAN: Oi, you watching?
拜托了 快下来吧!
PENELOPE: Oh, please come down !
好的 来了
Okay, coming.
PENELOPE: Oh !
真好!真好!
l like it! l like it!
再强烈点!
More! More! Oh !
你拿着这个干什么?现在没有下雨啊
What are you doing with that? lt’s not raining.
来吧
Come on.
Oh.
#我在三叶草丛中翻来覆去
# Roll me over in the clover
#再来一次#
# Do it again #
#翻来覆去…#
DlSTANT CHORUS: # Roll me over. . . #
#在去曼德勒的路上#
# On the road to Mandalay #
谁在那儿? -真悲哀
LORD FORTNUM: Who’s there? MOTHER: Oh, for pity’s sake!
有色人种禁止入内 滚!
LORD FORTNUM: No coloureds, damn you !
你还没折腾够我这把老骨头吗?
MOTHER: Have you not yet finished with my poor bruised body?
你是黑人的女人吗?
LORD FORTNUM: Are you that black man’s woman?
以我的情况来看 不太可能
MOTHER: That’s hardly likely, in my condition.
你的情况是什么?
LORD FORTNUM: And what is your condition?
我是个柜子 没人帮我关一下门吗?
MOTHER: l’m a cupboard. Will nobody close my doors?
我是阿♥拉♥曼的福特纳姆勋爵 你是谁?
l’m Lord Fortnum of Alamein. Who are you?
我是弗莱顿夫人
l’m Mrs Frereton.
好的 女士 目前来看
Well, madam, in view of the ghastly circumstances
我们都处在一个可怕的情况下
in which we both find ourselves,
所以我建议 我们听到自己的语言之后再讲话
l suggest we speak only when spoken to and hold our tongues.
好的 那就听你的
MOTHER: Very well, if you think so.
妈妈!
Mummy!
妈妈!妈妈!
Mummy! Mummy!
妈妈!
PENELOPE: Mummy!
亲爱的 我们先在这儿睡一会儿吧 天亮的时候再找一遍
Oh, let’s sleep here for a bit. We can look again when it’s light, love.
我想对他说
l will say this for him,
我不会和他说只言片语
l can’t really say anything for him,
只有当他像一片白纸时
except he is like a sheet of white paper.
我很久没见过薄薄的白纸了 我想在上面画一张脸
l haven’t seen a sheet of white paper for years l could draw a face on.
多么邋遢的西装
His poor suit!
皱巴巴的缝线坠在边缘
Crumple-fashion little stitches on the edges.
我想对他说
And l’ll say this for him,
他是如此时尚俏皮
trendy boy.
尽管他的领子皱成一团
You can say his lapels are crumpled
鼻子点缀得平平无奇
and he has got a nose where noses used to be.
我想对他说
And l’ll say this for him.
他一直在这里
He’s always here.
无论他的双脚流向何方 他都在这里
Wherever his feet are, he is.
大多数脚趾都一齐弯曲 但他的脚趾是一条直线
Toes are bent upwards, but he’s straight,
如此平坦
flat.
像阳光一样赤诚
Stupid as the sun.
我想对他说
l will say this for him.
他有一头卷翘的头发
And he has got twirly hair.
而你真正地拥有他
But you do get the whole of him,
像现在这样 手指轻抚
now, to stroke.
没有多余之人前来打扰
There’s nobody else.
让三叶草将我环绕
# Roll me over in the clover
将我环绕 让我躺下 将我环绕
# Roll me over, lay me down and do it again
当她
# When she’s. . . #
中士 检查一下你的量尺吧 -这有…
All right, Sergeant, let’s just check your ruler. -That’s, uh. . .
22英寸 先生 -继续
. . .22 inches, sir. -Carry on.
谢谢
Thank you.
头 22英寸
Head, 22 inches.
噢 测量我的尺寸
Ah, taking my measurements!
胸腔 22英寸
Chest, 22 inches.
这样 噢 就是这样 把那些都记下来
That’s right. That’s the hammer. Get it all down, eh !
大腿内侧长度
lnside leg,
22英寸 先生 -是的
22 inches, sir. -You’re right.
好了 先生 我们之后会通知你的
Right, sir. We’ll let you know.
非常感谢你
Thank you very much, thank you.
啊!他们是我的孩子
Ah ! There are my children !
你好!爸爸!
Hello, Daddy!
当然 你不会想要他们的尺寸 他们太年轻了
You won’t want their measurements, of course, they’re a bit young.
啊呀!这箱子长了好多毛
My word ! What a hairy trunk!

你们继续
Keep moving.
你们之后会通知我的 对吧?
You going to let me know, then?
你是什么人物呀?
Uh, who are you?
他们才是人物
They are.
他们似乎对我的腿长很惊讶
l must say, they seemed rather impressed with my inside leg.
不好意思 先生 但就只有22英寸而已 不是吗?
Excuse me, sir, but it was a 22, wasn’t it?
是的 我确信是 -我就说
Yes, l believe it was. -l say!
你知道 没有多少人了
Not many of them left, you know.
本想和你握手
Like to shake you by the hand.
但要等到申请得到卫♥生♥部♥的批准后
Yeah, l would, but not until l’ve referred it
应该这样 应该这样
to the Ministry of Health. -Quite, quite.
小心驶得万年船
Can’t be too careful.
你是做生意的吗?
You in business, then?
嗯? -我说你是在找合伙人吗?
Hmm? -Looking for a partner?
不是 我是合伙人
No, l am a partner.
当然 谁是你的合伙人?
Of course. Who is your partner?
我不需要 我自己主持
l don’t need one, l’m just Partner and Company.
我说 那是你女儿吗?
l say, uh, is that your daughter?
我说 是的 丰满的小个子
l say, it is. Chubby little thing.
身材很好 -谢谢
Well-built young girl. -Thank you.
走了多长时间?
Been going on for some time?
十八个月了 -十八……当然了 当然了
Eighteen months. -Eight. . . lndeed, indeed !
我想请你允许我
Well, l’d like your permission to
认识你的女儿
call upon your daughter.
可以 现在就可以
Often. Starting now.
不用
No.
我这里想剪多点 为了求爱嘛
l’d like a bit more off here, for courting.
啊 !对 这样好看多了
Ah ! Ah, yes, that’s much better.
我不像你们这些嬉皮士 从未赢取美人芳心
l’m not one of your hippie types, you know. Such as that never won fair lady.
还有别的事吗 先生 -嗯?
Anything else, sir? -Mmm?
但是爸爸 我爱阿兰
But Daddy, l love Alan.
爱?爱是一个四字单词
Love? Love is a four-letter word.
说起来 扯淡也是四字单词
Come to that, so is bull.
猫是三字单词
Cat is a three-letter word.
你说得对
Right.
你会成为有名的女婿
You’re going to make a famous son-in-law.
我想当很多年了
Been my ambition for years.

Uh. . .
现在看着我 弗莱顿先生!
Now, look here, Mr Frereton !
你不能按照你的想法来安排我俩的事情 你明白吗

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