天啊!看看这个,我的跑鞋全毁了!
Jesus Christ! Look at this. My sneakers ruined!
它只花了35块钱
They’re only $35.
该死的城市变成了一大坨狗屎!
Fucking city’s turned into one big pile of dog shit!
出来在我身上拉屎吧!其他人也一样!
Come on out and take a crap on me! Everybody else is!
妈的 – 把它还给那只狗吧 – 跑2 5公里有什么意义?
Fuck. Give it back to the poodles. What’s the point of jogging for two and a half miles?
让自己得肺癌
Giving yourself lung cancer.
我跟你说, 艾丽卡 越是跟你待得久
Tell you somethin’, Erica. The longer I’m married to you,
越是觉得你就像我妈妈
the more you sound like my mother.
自己清理你的跑鞋吧
Clean your own sneaker.
你想让我踩上去 -你疯了, 马丁
I think you wanted me to step in it. – You’re going crazy, Martin.
是吗? – 对
Yeah? Yeah.
为什么我会想让你踩上狗屎?
Why would I want you to step in dog shit?
这是一个很好的问题
Well, that’s a good question.
天啊 – 哦,非常抱歉
Oh, god. – Oh, I’m sorry.
我不是你妈妈
I’m not your mother.
你懂吧 – 是的
You know. Yeah.
听着,你觉得我们有时间来一次快点的吗?
Listen, do you think we got time for a little quickie?
我们只有11分钟
I got about 11 minutes.
嘿, 过来!
Hey, come on.
让我歇会儿 我快要冻伤了
Gimme a break here. I’m gettin’ frostbite.
天啊,我要戒烟才行了
Jesus, I got to quit smoking.
我星期二遇见雅可布了 我跟你说这事了吗? – 嗯
I saw Jacobs on Tuesday. Did I tell you? – Uh-uh.
是的, 我去进行年度体♥检♥了
Yes, I went for an annual physical
你怎么样?
How are you?
不错
Fine.
你听起来很吃惊
You sound surprised.
你知道,我那里长了东西
Well, you know, I go up there for the damn thing,
我因为要参加那个检查感觉有点焦虑,血压升了20个点
and my blood pressure goes up 20 points from anxiety of having to take the exam.
你今天打算做什么? – 在画廊工作
What are you doing today? – Working at the gallery.
哦, 对
Yeah – –
我去上学了
going to school.
你好 – 你好
Hi Hi
你好, 亲爱的 – 你好
hi, sweetie. – Hi
嗯 地震了吗?
hmm. Did the earth move?
再见
Bye.
我告诉你, 我们让孩子知道太多了
I’m telling you, we expose that kid to too much.
我们有锁着门 -对对对
Well, we still lock the door. – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
开心点 今晚见 – 好的
Have a good time. See you tonight.
“今晚,我们将向大家介绍这位芭蕾舞者
“Tonight, the ballet world was introduced
“她有着过人的天资-
to a brilliant new talent –
“让众人期盼已久的艾丽卡
the long-awaited debut…
本顿的首场秀
Of Erica Benton.
“本顿小姐昨晚撼动了芭蕾舞的世界
Miss Benton astounded the ballet world last night
凭着她难以置信的表演
in her incredible performance of
天鹅湖 “swan lake.”
“她的空中踢腿让人屏息 ”
“Her pas de deux were breathtaking.”
你好 – 你好
Hello. – Hi.
她来了
There she is.
你好 – 你好,你最近怎么样?
Hi. – Hi. How are you?
你看上去好极了 – 哦,抱歉我来晚了
You look great. – Oh, I’m sorry I’m late.
你刚好赶上了一个重要消息
You’re just in time for the big news.
是吗 – 哦 嗯~
Well. – Oh, hi. Uh –
酒 – 让我们再喝一杯咖啡 好吗?
wine. – Let’s have a glass and another carafe.
好吧,然后呢
Okay. – Yeah. And, uh –
还要什么?- Steamer Vic
anything else? – Steamer.
给每个人都斟满
Refills for everybody.
– 你准备好了吗? – 你陷入爱河了
Are you ready? You’re in love.
我希望如此 这不是我要公布♥什♥么消息的时候 – 苏
Would that I were. It’s not my news. Sue.
上周发生在我身上的事情是
Only thing that happened to me last week
我们的电梯服务员因为露阴癖被捕了
was my elevator man got arrested for flashing.
到底是什么重要消息, 珍妮特?
What is it, Jeannette?
我在跟一个男人恋爱
I met a man.
那太好了!
Well, that’s terrific.
但是有一个问题 – 他已婚了?
Well, there’s a little problem. – He’s married.
不是
No.
他非常年轻 – 你完全没猜对
He’s very young. You’re not close.
有多年轻? – 他只有19岁
How young? – He’s 19.
哦,天啊 – 我懂 我懂
Oh, Jesus. – I know, I know.
他非常成熟 – 19岁?
He’s very mature. – Nineteen?
问题是: 她应该跟他上♥床♥还是应该领养他?
The problem is: Does she fuck him, or does she adopt him?
我是一个糟糕的人 我喝醉了, 我头晕, 我要去洗手间
I’m a terrible person. I’m drunk, and I’m giddy, and I’m going to the loo.
抱歉, 珍妮特 – 没事
Sorry, Jeannette. – It’s okay.
我认为伊莲提前进入更年期了
I think Elaine’s going through early menopause.
这太讽刺了 我前几年跟那么多男人约会过
It is so ironic. I’ve dated so many men
他们都跟我差不多岁数或者比我年纪大
in the last few years that were my age or older,
史蒂文- 他的名字叫史蒂文-
and Steven – his name is Steven –
是唯一的一个我真正喜欢的男人
is the first man that I’ve really liked
自从我离婚以来
since my divorce.
他是怎么样的一个人? 他很沉稳,安静 他没有猴急
Well, what’s he like? – He’s calm, quiet. He doesn’t come on.
他非常聪明
He’s very bright.
他不怕表现得温柔
He’s not afraid to be tender.
如果你是一个男人,而你谈论的是一个19岁的姑娘
Well, if you were a man and you were talking about a 19-year-old girl,
那似乎就完全没有什么问题了,不是吗?
there would be no problem, would there?
不,我担心的是 泰迪
No, I worry about Teddy.
你如何告诉一个6岁的孩子他的新爸爸是个十几岁的孩子?
How do you tell a 6-year-old child his new daddy is a teenager?
他现在住在哪儿?
Where does he live now?
跟他父母一起住
With his parents.
或者我应该领养他
Maybe I should adopt him.
我错过什么了吗?
Did I miss anything?
没有
No.
昨天晚上实在是太不可思议了
It’s just that last night was so incredible.
我刚哄完泰迪上♥床♥睡觉, 史蒂文就过来了
I put Teddy to bed, and Steven came over.
我们聊了整整一个晚上
We just sat and talked all night long.
一直聊到今天早上7点钟 – 你们都聊了什么?
I mean, till 7:00 this morning. – What did you talk about?
我们聊了关于孤独的很多话题
We talked a lot about loneliness.
我们聊的很起劲
Got kind of emotional.
– 然后呢?Then?
向我保证你不会笑我? – 我保证
Promise you won’t laugh? – I promise.
然后他脱下了我的衣服
Well, then he undressed me…
帮我按♥摩♥
And he gave me a massage.
那也许是我这辈子里最不可思议的经历了
And it was the most incredible experience I think I’ve ever had in my life.
我想是的 – 是性按♥摩♥?
I’ll bet. Was it sexual?
可以说是,也可以说不是
That’s it. It was and it wasn’t.
我想说,他帮我按♥摩♥了我的脚和我的脚趾
I mean, he massaged my feet and my toes,
还按♥摩♥了我的手指
and he massaged my fingers.
还按♥摩♥了我的眼睛
He massaged my eyes.
他真的按♥摩♥了我的眼睛
He actually massaged my eyes.
然后我感受到了高♥潮♥
And then I had an orgasm.
一次又一次
And then another and then another.
我感觉那很性感
I’d say it was sexual.
享受一次美好的,老式眼部按♥摩♥并没有什么错
There ain’t nothin’ wrong with a good, old-fashioned highball orgasm.
哦,我喜欢这些,我不能没有它们
Oh, I love them. I mean, I couldn’t live without them.
你看了最近的书吗? – 没有 – 你以为我疯了
Have you read the latest book? – You think I’m going crazy, don’t you?
疯了? 你知道那个男孩的电♥话♥号♥码吗?
Crazy? What’s this boy’s phone number?
我这么问希望你别觉得冒犯 – 不会,怎么了?
Don’t be offended, okay? – No. Why? What?
他对你忠诚吗? – 这很天真, 艾丽卡
Is he being honest with you? – That’s pretty naive, Erica.
不, 这不是 – 不, 这不是
No, it isn’t. – No, it’s not.
百分之百忠诚根本不存在的 对于男人来说
There’s no such thing as total honesty. Not with men.
他们在性♥爱♥方面都带着自负
They’re all wrapped up in sexual ego.
什么叫做性♥爱♥方面的自负? – 永远不会满足
What the hell is sexual ego, Elaine? – Never getting enough.
总是持续不断地担心表现
Always on the make. Constantly worried about performing.
那很荒谬
That’s ridiculous.
我认识很多男人并非只是对性♥爱♥感兴趣
I know lots of men who are interested in other things besides sex.
– 比如说谁 – 比如说我丈夫
Name one. – My husband.
哈罗德已经有六个月没有调情了
Harold hasn’t made a pass in six months.
听着伊莲 难道你不觉得你把这件事扯得有点远了吗?
Well, listen, Elaine. Don’t you think you’re taking this thing a little too far?
我? 不
Me? No.
我觉得你有点憎恨男人 – 我爱男人!
I think you’re getting to be a man-hater. – I love men.
我们在谈论他们的忠诚
We’re talking about their honesty.
你觉得马丁是完全忠诚的吗? – 我不会去想这些
Do you think Martin is totally honest? – I don’t think about it.
我认为艾丽卡拥有五个区内最好的丈夫
I think Erica has the second-best man in the five boroughs.

你的评论可以尖锐,也可以湿疣!