-内特 -怎么了
-Nate! -What?
反正不出三分钟她就会发现的
It was bound to come out in three minutes.
等等 什么叫她不在这里
Wait! So… But okay. What do you mean she’s not here?
那是谁带你们来的 你♥爸♥爸
So who brought you? Your dad?
不是 他听不得我提百老汇
No! He thinks Broadway is a four letter word.
好吧 等一下
Okay, wait.
-那就是说… -我们从家里偷跑出来的
-So you’re telling me… -We ran away from home, lady.
行 好吧
Right, okay.
既然如此 要做负责任的大人
All right, so, yeah, responsible adult mode.
迄今为止我演过的最大的角色
My greatest acting role yet.
“你好 雪莉 我是你妹妹”
“Hi, Sherrie, it’s your sister.
“我知道 我们多年没联♥系♥了”
“I know, it’s been a couple years.
“好吧 大概有十年…”
“Okay, ten, I guess…”
我怎么没有你妈妈的手♥机♥号♥
Why don’t I have your mom’s cell?
因为你们很久没有联络过了
‘Cause it’s been a while since you’ve spoken.
海蒂姨妈没出席我父母的婚礼
Heidi didn’t show up to my parents’ wedding.
她应该去当伴娘的 很重要
She was the maid of honor and everything.
哇 深仇大恨啊
Wow, that’s deep.
是的 好了…
Yeah, well…
我刚刚错过了我的试镜
And I just missed my audition,
这可太好了
so, that’s awesome.
真不敢相信你居然还需要试镜
I can’t believe you still have to audition for things.
你都上过百老汇的舞台了
You’ve been on Broadway.
你太天真了 孩子
You have no idea, kid.
好了 你妈妈的手♥机♥号♥是多少 说吧
All right, What’s your mom’s cell? Spill it.
号♥码是4-1-2-5-5-5-8-7-2-0
It’s 4-1-2-5-5-5-8-7-2-0.
零 好的
Zero. Okay.
小黑妞的魔法
您的呼叫已转接到自动语♥音♥留言系统
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
请在提示音后留言
At the tone, please record your message.
嗨 雪莉 我碰到小外甥了 就是你的儿子 内森
Hi, Sherrie. I’m with my nephew. Your son, Nathan.
-叫我内特 -内特
-Nate. -Nate.
他还活着呢
He is alive.
不过再过12秒 就会被他的姨妈杀死
Well, he’s 12 seconds away from being murdered by his aunt.
开玩笑的 他没事
But, you know, he’s fine.
他现在很好 我会安排最近的航♥班♥…
He is fine and I’m gonna get him on the next airplane…
-汽车 我们坐不起飞机 -送他回家
-Bus. We can’t afford an airplane. -…home.
也许将来 我们可以把这事当笑话讲
And, you know, maybe someday, we can all laugh at this.
前提是我们还有机会说上话
If there is a world where we ever speak again.
好了 再见
Okay, bye-bye, now.
演得真好
Incredible work.
你说什么
Excuse me?
不知道的话 我真会以为你还关心着她
I truly believed you cared about her.
我也同意内特说的 你居然还需要试镜
I’m with Nate, I can’t believe you have to audition for things.
别说了
Please.
好的 莉萝试镜第一组 开始吧
Okay, first group of kids for Lilo! Let’s do this.
好了 我们该走了
All right, let’s get outta here.
你怎么了
-Oh! Oh! -What’s this?
这是憋尿的反应 他老是这样
It’s his pee dance. It’s a thing.
莉比
Libby!
好吧 那你去吧 快点 好吗
Okay, well, just go fast, okay?
-憋久了对膀胱不好 -快去
-That’s not good for your bladder. -Go!
-他总是这样吗 -这么好笑 是的
-Is he always like this? -Hilarious? Yes.
这一点很像我
Takes after me.
人都到齐了吗 13号♥呢
Do I have everybody? Where’s number 13?
洗手间在哪儿
Where’s the bathroom?
-后面左转 -好的
-Back in the left. -Cool.
今天 我们不是要找和玩偶演对手戏的人
Today, we’re not looking for people to act opposite a puppet.
史迪奇这个角色需要一个多才多艺的孩子来演
The role of Stitch will require a versatile child
你们的表演要能够透过全身演出服传达出来
whose performance will need to read through a full bodysuit.
莉萝和史迪奇都是我们的海选目标
We are seeking both a Lilo and a Stitch.
如果你们能像他们之中任意一个那样跳舞 那就更好了
If you can dance in either of these roles, all the better.
补充一条 你们不能有恐高
And you cannot be afraid of heights, I should add.
有一场宏大的叙事情节
There will be a big, power ballad moment
需要在观众席的上空呈现
that takes place literally above the audience’s head,
史迪奇将驾驶飞机穿越火奴鲁鲁山区
where Stitch pilots the plane through the mountains of Honolulu.
就是这样 谢谢
Yeah, thank you.
-你要不要吃点东西 -我不饿
-You don’t want something to eat, do you? -I’m good.
-不饿 好吧 -是的
-Good. Okay. -Yeah.
我们再试一次
Let’s try that again.
想象一下 你第一次遇到长得像狗狗的
Imagine you’re seeing a blue dog-like alien
蓝色外星生物 吓得你大声尖叫
for the first time in your life and it makes you scream.
是的 肯定不会 非常赞同
Yeah… No. For sure. Hard agree.
在第一轮晋级之前
Before I make the first cut,
有没有人还有什么才艺要展示的
does anyone have a special skill they’d like to demonstrate?
“第一轮晋级” 我们才喊了一声而已
“Make the first cut.” All we did was scream.
我凭翻筋斗得过奖
I am an award winning tumbler.
真的吗 6号♥
Is that so, number six?
是的 我是东北筋斗先生少年组冠军
Yes. I’m the reigning Junior Mister Northeast Flipper.
好的 还有别的体操高手要展示一下吗
Fine. Any other Mary Lou Rettons in the room?
加雷特
Oh, uh, Garret.
我会跳舞
I can sorta dance.
当然 不如他那么高的水平
I mean, not like that, that was ridiculous.
但是我会屈膝舞步
But I can do knee crawls.
屈膝舞步
Knee crawls?
是的 《屋顶上的小提琴手》里那种屈膝舞步
Yeah, like Fiddler on the Roof style knee crawls.
我在一次超外百老汇级的演出中担任酒瓶舞演员
I was a bottle dancer in an off-off Broadway production.
在我朋友的地下室里
In my friend’s basement.
在匹兹堡 我还是闭嘴的好
In Pittsburgh. I’m going to shut up now.
给他一个机会
Give him a chance.
好吧
Well,
跳一段看看
this, I have to see.
好的 想象我头上顶着一个酒瓶
Okay, pretend I have a bottle on my head.
-好的 -还有络腮胡子
-Got it. -And a beard.
祝贺你们
Mazel tov!
-天啊 我的裤子 -你的裤子
-Oh, my gosh! My pants! -Your pants?
是的 我淋过雨 裤子好像缩水了
Yeah, I got caught in the rain and I think my pants shrunk
现在裤子太紧 我无法展示屈膝舞步
and now they’re way too tight for me to do my knee crawl things.
有人有备用的短裤吗
Does anybody have any extra shorts?
不必展示了
That won’t be necessary.
声明一下 我虽然害怕很多东西 但我不恐高
For the record, I have a ton of phobias, but heights isn’t one of them.
可以决定晋级人选了
I think we can make the cut.
-你尽力了 -谢谢你 12号♥
-Good try. -Thanks, number 12.
好的 我要重申一遍
Okay, I’m gonna say this one more time.
被淘汰不代表否定你 你们都很了不起
This is not personal. And you’re all sensational.
我仿佛在看着茱莉亚戏剧学院2027届的学生
It’s like I’m looking at Juilliard Drama class of 2027.
好了 如果我没有念到你的号♥码
All right. If I don’t read your number,
我们还会有…
I will see you on…
下一次 说得好像真的还有下次似的
The next one. Like there will even be a next one.
人生第一次试镜被淘汰 也就成了最一次
Cut at my first and last Broadway audition.
将来写回忆录 我就用这个当标题
That’s going to be the name of my memoir title.
嘿 起码你进去试镜了 不是吗
Hey. At least you got to audition, right?
对 是闯进去的
Yeah. By breaking into the audition
还对姨妈说了谎
and lying to your aunt, by the way.
因为你妈妈对我的语♥音♥留言 只回复了一个点赞的表情
Okay, it is so weird to me that your mom’s only response
这也太奇怪了吧
to my voicemail is a thumbs up emoji.
也没有多奇怪吧
That’s not so weird.
还是一个非裔美国人常用的点赞表情
And it’s an African-American thumbs up emoji.
一定是她手滑发错了
Her hand must have slipped.
旅客们 下午2点飞往匹兹堡的航♥班♥开始登机
– Good afternoon. – 00 p.m. to Pittsburgh now boarding.
下午2点飞往匹兹堡
00 p.m. to Pittsburgh.
好吧 我已经错过了我的试镜
Well, I may have missed my audition,
决不能再错过美国史上报酬最高的犹太受诫礼
but I refuse to miss the most well-paying Bar Mitzvah in U.S. history,
所以我要走了
so I should go.
等等 你现在是拉比了
Wait, you’re a rabbi now?
我拒绝回答
Ha. Ignoring that.
好了 我要在20分钟内赶到自然历史博物馆
No, I have to be at the Natural History Museum in 20 minutes.
对了 有恐龙
Ah. Yes, dinosaurs.
我是去提供餐饮的 别太羡慕哦
Well, I’m just catering. So, don’t be jealous.
我要是能在纽约当餐饮服务商
I would trade my entire life with you right now,
我愿意立刻跟你交换人生
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