感谢上帝
Thank God.
-哦,上帝,真是解脱 -对
– Oh, God, what a relief. – Yeah.
他有黄金般的心肠
He’s got a heart of gold.
你这个性变♥态♥!性恶魔!
You sex demon! You, you sex fiend!
不,你误会了
No, you got it all wrong.
淫秽!淫秽!
Impure! Impure!
-吉米,等等! -兄弟!
– Jimmy, wait! – Hey, wait! Brother man!
我们没有怎麽样!
– Nothing happened! – Jimmy!
等等!吉米!
Wait! Jimmy!
-走开! -吉米!不!该死
– Get away! – Jimmy! No!
拜託,接电♥话♥
Damn it.
兄弟,接电♥话♥
Come on, pick up. Come on, buddy.
嘿,我是吉米,有梦想就办得到
Hey, it’s Jimmy. If you can dream it, you can do it.
吉米,是我却斯
Jimmy, it’s me, Chazz.
听著,刚刚发生的事,没什麽大不了
Look, what happened back there, so not a big deal.
就当成是,我跟你女友的咪♥咪♥握手
Just think of it as like a boob handshake between me and your lady’s…
听著,这样说不对 我会解释,请回电
Look, that’s not coming out right. I’ll explain it. Call me back, please.
是我却斯
It’s me, Chazz.
我坚持我们的友谊
I’m committed to this thing called friendship.
我哪裡也不会去
And I ain’t going nowhere.
如果你以为我要去哪裡 那你就错了,你知道为什麽
And if you think I’m going anywhere, you’re wrong. You know why?
因为我不会让步,永远不会!
Because I will not back down, ever!
我赢过很多电台比赛 因为我拒绝挂电♥话♥!
I’ve won a lot of radio contests, because I refused to get off the line!
如果我们参加万圣节派对 扮成蝙蝠侠和罗宾…
If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin.
我当罗宾就好 你对我就是那麽重要
That’s how much you mean to me.
这样说真蠢,不
That was stupid that I said that. You know what? No.
我不觉得那有什麽蠢 我很高兴自己那样说
I don’t think that’s stupid. I’m glad that I said that.
嘿,臭小子
Hey, turd-face, guess what?
我把你所有泰迪熊…
I’ve taken every single one of your teddy bears,
塞在我的裤子裡
and I’ve stuffed them down my pants.
嘿,哎哟,对不起
Hey, yikes. Sorry.
一个月来,我的尿有棉花糖的味道
For about a month, my urine smelled like marshmallows.
不想闭上眼睛
Don’t wanna close my eyes
不想睡著 因为我想你,吉米
Don’t wanna fall asleep ‘Cause I miss you Jimmy
我不要错过什麽
And I don’t wanna miss a thing
立刻回电给我!
So call me back now!
我是吉米,有梦想就办得到
It’s Jimmy. If you can dream it, you can do it.
嘿,又是我 吉米,拜託,回我电♥话♥,让我解释
Hey, it’s me again. Jimmy, please, call me back, so I can explain.
哇,干得好,看来有人很忙
Wow! Nice work. Somebody got busy in a big way.
犯罪现场
Scene of the crime.
告诉你们,我没有跟却斯上♥床♥
For your information, I didn’t have sex with Chazz.
好, 「做♥爱♥」
Fine. “Make love.” Whatever.
我没有跟却斯睡觉
I didn’t sleep with Chazz.
-什麽? -但是恭喜你们!
– What? – But congratulations!
-我觉得就像跟他上过床 -你要去哪裡?
– I feel as slimy as if I had. – Where do you think you’re going?
把事情讲清楚!吉米要知道真♥相♥!
To make this right! Jimmy needs to know the truth!
你不顾自己的家人?
You would do that to your own family?
少来罪恶感那一套
Don’t give me that guilt trip.
不顾我们为你的付出? 看看你把爸妈怎麽啦?
After all we’ve done for you? After all you did to Mom and Dad?
爸妈没繫安全带…
Mom and Dad were not wearing their seatbelts
他们不当左转
and they made an improper left-hand turn.
拜託,凯蒂,不要走,我们爱你
Come on, Katie, don’t go. We love you and stuff.
听著,要靠自己了好吗?
Look, it’s up to us, okay?
我们不能让麦可斯 和麦克罗伊参加比赛…
We are forced to take Michaels and MacElroy out of play, no matter what.
不管代价是什麽,可能得使坏
That might require some bad behavior.
欢迎来到第三天的 奥比兹世界冬季运动会
Hello, and welcome to day three of the Orbitz World Wintersport Games.
最优秀的中国 和苏俄双人组合纷纷落败…
The best Chinese and Russian pairs have fallen away,
所以金牌的终极之争…
setting up the ultimate gold medal showdown.
只剩下两支美国队伍 两队都迫切想获得冠军
Just two pairs remain. Both American. Both hell-bent on reaching the top.
就看今天晚上他们在冰上的表现
And it’s come down to this. Tonight, they leave it all on the ice.
最引人注目的是
The big story here is
双人花式滑冰
the men’s pairs figure skating team of Michaels and MacElroy.
男子双人组合麦可斯和麦克罗伊
同性别带来的轰动…
These same-gendered sensations have taken
赢得千万名粉丝的心
center ice in the hearts of millions of skating fans everywhere.
他们横扫这项运动
They’ve literally taken this sport by storm.
浑蛋,吉米已经来了
Jimmy.
Jimmy’s here at the arena, you ass.
他盯著一包口香糖看了九个小时 你对他做了什麽?
He’s been staring at a pack of gum for nine hours. What’d you do to him?
我马上到
I’m on my way.
计程车!
Taxi!
世界冬季运动会 对,我是却斯麦可麦可斯
World Wintersport Games. And yes, I am Chazz Michael Michaels.
-嘿,史坦兹 -嗨
– Hey, Stranz. – Hi.
滑冰手,请清理场地 准备进行双人滑冰比赛
Skaters, please clear the ice in preparation for the pairs competition.
Thank you so much.
哦,我的天,你…
Oh, my gosh. Can you…
对不起,却斯,这不是个人恩怨
Sorry, Chazz. Nothing personal.
其实刚好相反
Actually, it’s quite the opposite.
你在镁光灯下的日子已经结束了
See, your days of stealing the spotlight are over.
你这个疯狂的浑蛋!
You crazy bastard!
该死
Damn it.
你在干什麽?
What are you doing?
你这个恶魔!超级恶魔
You are evil. Pure evil!
你们一家都是!
Your whole family’s evil! Your brother.
你哥,尤其是你妹
And most of all, your sister.
我们可不一样
Don’t even think about putting us in the same league.
如果她有我一半的女人味 她就会听我的话…
If she was half the woman I was, she would have done her job
跟你的搭档上♥床♥
and slept with your partner like I told her to.
-她没有? -没有
– She didn’t? – No.
她办不到,因为你
She couldn’t, because of you.
我不懂
I don’t get it.
噁心,让我离开这裡!谁来救我!
Gross. Get me out of here! Somebody help me!
不管绳子是谁发明的,他是浑蛋
Whoever invented rope was a real a-hole.
对不起,妹,我延误了 我的头髮就是弄不好
I’m late, sis. My hair is just not cooperating.
哦,该死
Oh, crap.

Okay.
却斯,现在谁能救你?
Who’s gonna save you now, Chazz?
小麦克罗伊会来跟你碰面吗?
Is Little Lord MacElroy gonna come and meet you down here?
太好了
Oh, great.
嘿!你在干什麽?
Hey, there!
不,等等,没关係,不
What are you doing there? No. Wait, wait. It’s okay. No.
陌生人危险!
Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
不,拜託!
No, please!
却斯,来吧!
Let’s do it, Chazz!
好,史坦兹,看看我却斯的厉害
All right, Stranz. Time for a little Chazzle Dazzle.
漂亮
Beautiful.
我来了,却斯
I’m coming, Chazz.
拉我一把
Give me your hand.
-我不会伤害你 -却斯,我来了!
– I won’t hurt you. – I’m coming for you, Chazz!
该死,史坦兹
Damn it, Stranz.
有没有看见吉米?我找不到他
Have you seen Jimmy? I can’t find him anywhere.
他刚刚还在这裡
Oh, yeah. He was here a minute ago.
叫他给我过来
And if you find him, would you tell him to get his ass down here?
我真的很感激
I really appreciate this.
那个傢伙想杀我,谢谢
That man who’s chasing us is trying to kill me. So, thanks.
你扮演谁?罗德史林?
Who are you supposed to be anyway? Rod Serling?
约翰甘迺迪
JFK.
-到时候就知道 -不,不,很好,对
– It’s gonna make sense. – No, no, no. It’ll be fine. Yeah.
真逊
That’s lame.
看你过得来吗!
Try to get through that!
不要逼我杀了她
Don’t make me kill her.
雪花!
Snowflake!
来自美国的…
From the United States,
双人组合史坦兹和菲儿凡华丁堡
the pairs team of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg.
大家最喜欢的史坦兹 和菲儿现在来到冰上
So, the favorites, Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg
now taking the ice.
化身玛丽莲梦露和约翰甘迺迪
As Marilyn Monroe and JFK,
他们要将一段禁忌的爱戏剧化
they’ll be dramatizing a forbidden romance, Jim.
我很荣幸自己是土生土长的柏林人
I take pride in the words, “Ich bin ein Berliner!”
美国双人组合麦可斯和麦克罗伊…
Calling for preparation on ice of the United States team
请到冰上准备
of Michaels and MacElroy.
这样诠释美国历史很有趣
Well, that was an interesting take on American history.

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