圣诞怪杰

I know you hate Christmas,
但如果那些都只是误会呢
but what if it’s all just a misunderstanding?
我不在乎
Don’t care.
我是说 我自己也有一些圣诞节的疑虑
I mean, I myself am having some Yuletide doubts.
但是如果你可以和胡团聚
But maybe if you can reunite with the Whos
并且参与圣诞节
and be a part of Christmas…
-成熟点吧 -那也许我也会很开心的
– Grow up! – Then maybe it’ll be all right for me, too!
对不起 你的会面已经结束了
I’m sorry, your session is over.
请在出去的路上与接线员再次预约时间
Please make another appointment with the receptionist on the way out.
拜托 求你了 你必须接受这个奖项
Please, please. You have to accept the award.
奖项
Award?
你从来没有提过奖项
You never mentioned an award.
对 有奖杯之类的
Yeah, with a trophy and everything!
-我得奖了 -你得奖了
– And I won? – You won!
-这意味着有人输了 -我猜是的
– That means there were losers. – I guess.
所以 如果你来的话
So, if you come…
有一整个小镇的输家
A town full of losers!
我喜欢
I like it.
有人情绪崩溃了吗
Was anyone emotionally shattered?
拜托 一分钟前我都没法让你闭嘴
Come on, a minute ago I couldn’t shut you up!
细节 细节
Details, details!
好吧 镇长并不开心
Well, the Mayor wasn’t happy.
不
Oh! No.
玛莎·梅会在那里
Martha May will be there.
她会吗
Oh, she will?
并且她会看见我 一个赢家
And she’ll see me. A winner.
她会扑在我身上
She’ll be on me like fleegle flies
像趴在扁脸马上的苍蝇一样
on a flat-faced floogle horse.
好吧 抱歉让你失望了
Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you,
玛莎宝贝
Martha baby.
但是火车G已经驶离了车站
But the “G” train has left the station.
G是格林奇的英文名缩写
所以 你会来吗
So, will you come?
好吧
Oh, all right.
我不知道是不是你眼中那可爱的星星
I don’t know if it’s that adorable twinkle in your eye,
或者说是离经叛道
or that nonconformist streak
这让我想起了年轻时的自己
the reminds me of a younger,
那个没有这么多毛的我
less hairy me.
但是你说服了我
But you’ve convinced me.
谁知道呢
Who knows?
这可能会改变我的整个人生观
This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!
-真的吗 -假的
– Really? – No.
你在这里呀 亲爱的
There you are. Honey.
你可以一会儿再做雪地天使
You can make snow angels later.
我们不能在胡谷庆典上迟到
We can’t be late for the Whobilation!
那些胡可真大胆 邀请我过去
The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there.
在这么短的时间内
On such short notice.
就算我想去 时间安排也不允许呀
Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it!
四点钟 沉浸在自怜中
“4:00, wallow in self-pity.
四点半 凝视深渊
“4:30, stare into the abyss.
五点 解决世界饥饿
“5:00, solve world hunger,
不告诉任何人
“tell no one.
五点半 爵士舞
“5:30, Jazzercise.
六点半 和自己吃晚餐
“6:30, dinner with me.”
我不能再取消这个了
I can’t cancel that again.
七点 与自怨自艾搏斗
“7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing”
我被预约了
I’m booked!
当然 如果我把讨厌的事推到9点
Of course, if I bumped the loathing to 9:00,
我还是可以按时完成的
I could still be done in time
然后准时躺在床上
to lay in bed,
盯着天花板
stare at the ceiling,
然后慢慢陷入疯狂
and slip slowly into madness.
但是我穿什么呢
But what would I wear?
这不是裙子 是短裙
It’s not a dress, it’s a kilt!
神经病
Sicko!
太蠢 太丑 过时了
Stupid. Ugly. Out of date!
这简直是无稽之谈
This is ridiculous.
要是我找不到好看的衣服 我就不去了
If I can’t find something nice to wear, I’m not going.
够了 我不去了
That’s it, I’m not going.
好了 这是我们颁发年度节日圣诞主角奖的时候了
Well, it’s time for our Holiday Cheermeister of the Year Award!
祝贺你 格林奇先生
Congratulations, Mr. Grinch!
他不在这
He isn’t here.
什么
What?
他没来
He didn’t show?
谁能想得到呢
Who could have predicted this?
好吧 我先过去一会
All right. I’ll swing by for a minute,
让他们嫉妒我
allow them to envy me,
抓一大把爆米花蹦虾 然后就溜
grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and blow out of there.
但是万一那是个残忍♥的恶作剧呢
But what if it’s a cruel prank?
万一是个现金吧呢
What if it’s a cash bar?
他们不敢的 好吧 我去
How dare they? All right, I’ll go.
但是我会迟到的
But I’ll be fashionably late.
不去 去 不去 去 不去
No. Yes. No. Yes. No!
去
Yes!
肯定不去
Definitely not!
好吧 我决定了
All right. I’ve made my decision.
我去 就这样了
I’m going, and that’s that.
祝我好运
Had my fingers crossed.
或许我应该扔个硬币的
Maybe I should flip a coin!
我想这个奖项该给亚军
Well, I guess the award goes to the runner-up.
对
That’s right.
对他来说 圣诞节不是一年一次
A man for whom Christmas comes, not once a year,
而是每天的每一分钟
but every minute of every day!
一个英俊而高贵的男人
A handsome, noble man,
一个切除了两次扁桃体的人
a man who’s had his tonsils removed twice!
那是个有趣的故事
That’s an interesting story.
你知道 当时
You see, what happened was…
你好啊 玛莎
Hello, Martha.
他做到了
He made it!
辛蒂 亲爱的
Cindy, wha… Honey!
热烈的人群 热烈的人群
Hot crowd. Hot crowd.
我相信我来是为了
I believe I’m here to
接受一个奖项之类的
accept an award of some kind?
而且一个孩子提到支票了
And the child mentioned a check?
我没说过
No, I didn’t.
好吧 那就 把奖项给我吧
All right, then, give me the award.
快点 趁我还年轻
Come on, while I’m young!
别担心 节日圣诞主角先生
Don’t you worry, Mr. Holiday Cheermeister,
你会得到你的奖项的
you’ll get your award.
但是首先 一个小小的家庭团聚
But first, a little family reunion.
她们照顾你
They nursed you.
她们给你衣穿 她们来了
They clothed you. Here they are,
你的老妈子
your Old Biddies!
你们俩还活着吗
Are you two still living?
我们想死你了
We missed you!
罗斯 这件毛衣 快穿上 罗斯
Rose. The sweater. The sweater, Rose.
毛衣 你们在说什么 不 不行
Sweater? What are you talkin’ about? No, you can’t!
我不能穿这毛衣
I can’t do this!
不要乱摸
Don’t touch me there!
把他放到圣诞宝座上
Put him in the Chair of Cheer!
圣诞宝座 什么是圣诞宝座呀
Chair of Cheer? What’s the Chair of Cheer?
你没提过还有圣诞宝座这玩意
You didn’t tell me about the Chair of Cheer!
拜托 格林奇先生 别生气好吗
Please, Mr. Grinch. Please?
不 不 不 我做不到
No, no, no. I can’t do it.
真的 我没做好心理准备呢
Honestly. I’m not ready.
太过分了 还为时过早呢
It’s too much, too soon!
每年的那个时候
It’s that time of year.
圣诞主角都会坐在圣诞宝座接受欢呼
The Cheermeister’s ride in the Chair of Cheer!
放我下去 说真的 我要找我的律师来
Put me down! I mean it! I’ve got a lawyer.
你们会付出惨痛的代价的
There’ll be hell to pay!
首先要考验一下你的味觉 你要做裁判
First, you’ll put your taste buds to the test, as you judge the