乔乔的异想世界

I think I’ll hold onto this. It’s pretty.
真刺♥激♥
That was intense.
-我要怎么办 -说实话 不知道
– What am I going to do? – Honestly, no idea.
可能不止她一个
I mean, there could be more of them.
几百个住在你家墙里的犹太人
Hundreds of them living in your walls.
她是怎么夺走主导权的
How did she get control like that?
她肯定用了她的魔力
She must’ve used her powers.
心灵控制
Mind control.
老一套了
Oh, typical.
-你看到她移♥动♥得多快了吗 -看到了
– Did you see how fast she moved? – Yes.
美国短跑与跳远名将
就像个幼小女性版本的杰西·欧文斯
Like a little, female Jewish Jesse Owens.
-现在她还拿走了你的好刀 -我的刀
– And now she’s got your fancy knife. – My knife!
对 就像个幼小女性版本的杰西·欧文斯
Yeah. Like a little, female Jewish Jesse Owens,
开膛手杰克
Jack the Ripper.
你绝对有麻烦了
You’re definitely in a pickle, my friend.
怎么办 怎么办
Ah, what to do, what to do?
-想到了 -想到了
– Got it! – Got it!
-谈判 -烧掉房♥子
– I will negotiate. – Burn down the house
然后怪罪温斯顿·丘吉尔
and blame Winston Churchill.
或者谈判
Or negotiate.
打扰一下
Excuse me?
小姑娘
Little girl?
墙里面的犹太姑娘
Jew girl in the wall?
喂 犹太佬
Yoo-hoo. Jew?
那好 我就直接说我要说的话吧
Okay, well, I’ll just say what I have to say and that’s this:
我不怕你
I’m not scared of you
并且我认为你应该换个地方住
and I think you should find somewhere else to live.
行吗
Okay?
不行
Not okay.
滚出我的房♥间
Get the hell out of my room.
她真粗鲁
She’s pretty rude, you know?
这是我的个人意见
That’s just my two Pfennige.
-而且她现在有两把刀了 -我知道
– And now she’s got two knives. – I know!
-你要怎么切东西 -我不知道
– How are you going to chop up stuff? – I don’t know!
而且她还在那上面
Oh, and she’s still up there, too.
那个…那东西 那个…
That… that thing, that, that…
-犹太人 -对 犹太人
– Jew. – Yeah. Jew, yeah.
-我们要怎么对付那个犹太人 -想点办法
– What are we gonna do about that Jew? – You think of something.
现在我成专家了
Oh, now I’m the expert?
别再给我香烟了 我才十岁
Stop offering me damned cigarettes! I’m ten!
行 抱歉 我压力太大了
All right. Sorry. I’m stressed out!
好 我们直说吧
Okay, let’s talk like turkeys.
你不能告诉你妈妈
You can’t tell your mother
要不那个犹太人会砍掉你的纳粹脑袋
or that Jew will cut off your Nazi head,
但没理由让这个阁楼里的玩意
but there’s no reason this thing in the attic needs
毁掉你的生活
to ruin your life.
实际上 你可以利用这一点
In fact, you could use it to your advantage.
怎么做
How?
别人企图对我使用心灵控制时
When someone tries to use mind powers on me,
你知道我怎么做吗
know what I do?
反过来对他们用心灵控制
Use mind powers back on them.
1944年以一枚临时组装的定时炸♥弹♥
刺杀希♥特♥勒♥的德国陆军上校
记得去年那个独臂海盗冯施陶芬伯格
Remember last year when that one-arm pirate von Stauffenberg
企图用一枚桌子下的炸♥弹♥炸死我的事吗
tried to blow me up with a table bomb?
对 你活下来了
Yeah, you survived.
更正
Correctomundo.
除了拥有防炸♥弹♥腿之外
The only reason I survived,
我幸存的唯一原因
apart from having bombproof legs,
就是我智取了老冯施陶
is because I outwitted old von Stauffy.
我让他以为我死了
I let him think that I was dead,
但实际上 我安然无恙
when in actual fact, I was absolutely fine.
通过装死 我引出了所有叛徒
By pretending I was dead, I drew out all the traitors.
所以你要怎么做
So what are you going to do?
装死
Pretend I’m dead?
正是 等等 不
Exactly. Wait, no.
不 我的意思是
No, what I mean is this:
给她制♥造♥安全感 然后她会卸下防备
make her feel safe and then she’ll drop her guard
然后你就取得主导权了
and then you will be the one in control.
-反向心理 -别把事情复杂化
– Reverse psychology. – Don’t complicate things.
就用我的反向心灵控制招数
Just use my backwards mind power trick,
然后一切都会解决的
and everything will be fine.
我得走了
I gotta go.
今晚我那边晚餐要吃独角兽
We’re having unicorn for dinner at my place tonight.
专心 乔乔
Concentrate, Jojo.
记住 一个犹太人生活在你家墙里
Remember, a Jew living in your wall
好过两个犹太人扑闪着蝙蝠翅膀飞在外面
is better than two Jews flying around with their bat wings
沿着烟囱爬下来吃掉无辜的纳粹
climbing down chimneys and eating innocent Nazis.
还有别再给她刀了
And don’t give her any more knives.
再见
Tschüss.
亲爱的崽崽 你怎么没睡
Darling cub, why are you up, huh?
你吃过东西了吗
Did you eat anything, hmm?
抱歉 我忘了时间
Sorry, I lost track of time.
我去散步了 然后…
I was taking a long walk and having a thing…
我们该拿你的鞋带怎么办 老天
What are we going to do with these laces, huh? My goodness.
你总会学会系鞋带的 是不是
You’ll learn how to tie them eventually, no?
-我听到她的声音了 -什么
– I heard her. – What?
谁
Who?
英格
Inge.
她的鬼魂
Her ghost.
你真惨
That’s so sad for you.
你发疯了
You’ve lost your mind.
然而我更惨
It’s sadder for me, though,
因为我得和一个疯子住一起
because I have to live with a crazy person.
我听到有动静 在楼上
I heard noises. Upstairs.
鬼魂 说真的 你知道我听到了什么动静吗 老鼠
Ghosts? Honestly. You know what I heard? Rats.
对 我们家里有老鼠 你能相信吗
Yes, we have them. Can you believe that?
肮脏的动物
Dirty animals.
我一直想叮嘱你不要上楼
I’ve been meaning to tell you to stay away from upstairs,
直到我把老鼠清理干净 好吗
until I’ve cleared them all, okay?
我不想让你生病
I don’t need you getting sick.
好 妈妈
Okay, Mama.
我会警惕那些肮脏的老鼠
I’ll watch out for those dirty rats.
刀都去哪了
Where are all the goddamn knives?
你也要上♥床♥睡觉了吗
Are you going to bed, too?
对 马上
Yes. Soon.
我得先整理一些东西
I have to tidy some things first.
什么东西
What things?
妈妈的东西
Mama things.
小子 你得信任我 好吗
Boy, you have to trust me, okay?
我是家里的老大 是不是
I’m the boss here, ja?
我猜是吧
I guess.
好孩子
Good boy.
对 但用一只眼 像这样
Yes, but with… with one eye. Like…
很接近了
Almost.
不太对
Not quite.
很棒 你学会了
Great. You got it.
好
Ja.
你得再安静点
You have to be more quiet.
他听到了楼上有动静
He heard noises up here.
如果我要在你和我儿子之间做选择 我…
If I have to choose between you and my son, I…
我都不知道该把你送到哪里去
I won’t know where to send you.
你听到了吗
You hear me?
他不能知道 他知道的话 他们也会知道
He can’t know. If he knows, then they know.
-你可以跟他讲道理 -你不了解他
– You could reason with him. – You don’t know him.
他是个狂热分子
He’s a fanatic.
他花了三周才接受了
It took him three weeks to get over the fact
他祖父不是金发的事实
that his grandfather was not blond.
我知道那个小男孩就在他内心某处
I know he’s in there somewhere.
那个喜欢玩耍 因为害怕雷声
The little boy who loves to play and runs to you
而奔向你的小男孩
because he’s scared of thunder.