摇滚之神（2006）

啊！啊，啊！
Aaagh! Aaah, aaah!
可以了，关掉它 – 啊，啊！
He’s had enough. Turn it off. – Aagh. Aaaah!
灯！
Lights!
哦 – 嗨，嗨，好了好了
Oooh. – Hey, hey, it’s OK.
我很烂 – 你不糟
I suck! – You don’t suck.
我弄坏了我的吉他
I broke my guitar!
我的“捣乱魔鬼”
Monster mash!
没人第一次就通过模拟试验
Nobody passes the gig simulator on the first time.
即使是我
Not even this guy.
你也没？
You didn’t?
但后来你通过了？
But then you did pass it later?
后来通过了 但你知道，我试了好几次
I passed later, but, you know, took me a couple of tries.
噢，是么？我做得… – 你明白你能做到的
Oh, you did? I was doing… – You know you can do it.
刚才很不错 – 对
It was going pretty good. – Right.
直到我，我…
Until I got–until I got to the–
我弄糟了那个
When I messed up on that thing.
我们先打扫一下 你觉得呢？
Let’s clean this place up. What do you say?
然后我们吸点大♥麻♥，唱段最高断层
And then we’ll do bongloads and play Maximum Overthruster.
嗨，兄弟，这是凯奇 – 吸点大♥麻♥？
Hey, dude, it’s KG. – Do some bongloads?
你知道该做什么，呃
You know what to do. Uhhh.
嗨，小南瓜 我是你妈妈
Hi, pumpkin. It’s your mother.
你♥爸♥和我决定…
Your father and I have decided…
15年想成为音乐家的努力已经足够了
that 15 years of trying to be a famous musician is long enough.
我很抱歉
So I’m sorry to say…
我们不会再寄给你支票付房♥租了
we aren’t going to be sending you any more rent checks.
是时候找份新工作了
It’s time to get a real job.
我爱你，小南瓜
I love you, pumpki–
“我爱你小南瓜”？
“l love you, pumpkin”?
那不是版税支票
Those weren’t royalty checks.
真搞不懂这机器，这…
I can’t believe this machine, it’s–
我们看会儿电视吧？怎么样？
Let’s watch TV, you wanna?
你骗我
You lied to me.
你不认识迪奥 – 嗨！
You don’t know Dio. – Hey!
我想正在放《寻找大脚野人》
I think that In Search of Sasquatch is on.
等下 – 把他妈的遥控器给我
Hold on. – Give me that fucking remote.
别，别动
No! Leave it!
别
No!
啊！
Aaah!
哦！ – 啊！
Ohhh! – Aaah!
你到底是谁？
Who are you?
这是你的午饭，小南瓜
Here’s your lunch, pumpkin.
谢谢，妈妈
Thanks, Mom.
噢，唔
Oh! Mwah!
我爱你，小南瓜
I love you, pumpkin.
嗨，小南瓜！ – 哈哈哈！
Hey, pumpkin! – Ha ha ha!
哈！看你戴的帽子，老弟
Hah! What’s with the hat, dude?
你妈妈给你织的？哈哈哈！
Your mom sew that for you? Ha ha ha!
哈哈哈！
Ha ha ha!
哈哈哈哈哈！ – 哦！我的上帝！
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! – Oh, my God!
你妈妈在你睡觉的时候给你剃的？
Your mom shine that for you when you go to bed?
光球！ – 科学试验出错了吧！
Cue ball! – Science experiment gone wrong!
怪物！ – 哈哈哈！
Freakazoid! – Ha ha ha!
我他妈不干了！
I’m fucking outta here.
别走啊
Don’t walk away from me!
我可清理了你的公♥寓♥，老兄
I fucking cleaned your apartment, man.
你在干什么？
What are you doin’?
为什么要收拾东西？
Why are you packing?
我得回到爸妈家去了
I have to go back to my mom and dad’s.
我破产了
I’m broke.
我已经花光了最后那份房♥租钱
I already spent the last rent check.
噢，你这人♥渣♥！
Oh, you fucking dick!
你的钱花到哪儿去了？嗯？
What’d you spend the money on? Huh?
买♥♥了职业证书？
An official professor bullshit degree?
你把房♥租钱花哪儿去了？
What’d you spend the rent on?
我买♥♥了这个给你
I got that for you.
别走了，兄弟
Stop packing, dude.
我们能付房♥租的
We’re gonna pay the rent…
只要我们摇滚就行
with our rock.
可以么？ – 嗯
We are? – Yeah.
但我们不能叫凯勒·葛丝方案了
But we’re not gonna be called the Kyle Gass Project.
从现在开始…
From now on…
我们叫做特内克
we will be known as Tenac.
特内克？
Tenac?
那是什么？
What’s that?
是一个标记
It’s a sign.
一份遗产
A legacy.
我从出生开始就有这个胎记
I’ve had this birthmark since I was born.
我查了字典
I looked it up in the dictionary.
字典上没有
It’s not in there.
我从不知道它到底是什么意思
I never knew what the hell it meant.
直到现在
Till now.
这是我们乐队的名字，老兄
It’s the name of our fuckin’ band, dude.
我屁♥股♥上也有个标记
I have ass-mark too.
你们！
You guys!
看
Look!
哇噢！
Whoa!
他们必须付房♥租
They must pay the rent
用他们的摇滚
With their rock
噢噢噢，哦哦
Oh-ohhhh, oh, oh
但，那是我的生活
But thaaaaat’s my life.
好吧
All right.
尼尔·汉堡， 大家注意，尼尔·汉堡
Neil Hamburger, everybody, Neil Hamburger.
有意思
Funny stuff.
呃，下一个表演的乐队 让我念以下的话
Uh, the next band asked me to read this.
“自从时间的起点
“Since the beginning of time…
“石碑上就刻着 有一天一个乐队会诞生
“twas written in the stones that one day, a band would come.”
“现在，那个乐队已经诞生
“Well, that band has come…
“现在，他们就在这里…
and now they’re here to come again…
“在你的耳边摇滚”
in your ear-pussies.”
女士们，先生们 狂热的D
Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D.
你念的方式太棒了
That was awesome, the way you read that.
凯奇，凯奇？
Kage. Kage?
别忘了 气势要表演出来
Don’t forget to fucking bring the thunder.
好的 – 嗨，大家好么？
OK. – Hey, what’s up?
好的 – 嗨，大家好么？
OK. – Hey, what’s up?
我们是狂热的D 这是我们的第一场演出
We’re Tenacious D and this is our first concert ever…
具有历史意义
so it’s kinda historical.
而且我们写了这首
And, um, we wrote this song that gives you a little taste…
具有乐队历史意义的歌♥
of, like, the history of the band.
我们开始吧，凯奇，开始！
Let’s fucking do it, Kage, go!
这首歌♥叫做《狂热的D的历史》
This is a song called The History of Tenacious D.
这不同于
And it’s not just a list of bullshit…
我们过去唱的烂歌♥
that we’ve done in the past.
这是我们乐队
It’s a chronicling of our rise.
崛起的编年史！
To power!
我们和国王一起骑乘骏马
We ride with kings on mighty steeds
穿越恶魔的平原
Across the Devil’s plain
我们和耶稣及他的十字架一起旅行
We’ve walked with Jesus and his cross
他并不是白白死去
He did not die in vain
不
No!
我们和野狼一起奔跑，翻越过K2峰
We’ve run with wolves, we’ve climbed K2
我们甚至阻止过一辆奔驰的火车
We even stopped a moving train
我们一起穿越了时间与空间 我的朋友
We’ve traveled through space and time, my friends
为了让这件屋子摇滚起来
To rock this house again
摇滚！
Rock!
我们驰聘，我们驰聘 我们永不停息
We ride and we ride we’ll never subside
我们会驰聘直到这个星球毁灭
We’ll ride till the planets collide
如果你说我们不行
And if you say that we do not ride
我会把你暴打一顿
I’ll tan your fucking hide
驰聘
Ride!