热带惊雷（2008）

我叫凯文
No, it’s Kevin.
凯五 不管你♥他♥妈♥的叫什么 给我过来
Kev, whatever the fuck. Come over here.
我没告诉你 肥仔之家 第3屁马上开拍了
I didn’t tell you, but Fatties: Fart Three is coming down the pike,
你要是把我解开 我就把一个角色让给你
and there’s a role in there for you if you come over and untie me.
杰夫 你得表现坚强点
Jeff, you’re just going to have to tough it out.
你妈就是个浑身溃烂的婊♥子♥!
Your mother’s a cankerous whore!
天哪
Jesus, man.
喂 哥们
Hey, man.
刚才我说你妈是烂婊♥子♥的时候?
Remember way back when I said your mother was a cankerous whore?
抱歉 我不是这个意思 她才不是
I’m sorry, man. I did not mean that. She’s not.
你呢 伙计?
How about you, man?
明天在家那边有个风♥骚♥姑娘等着你吗?
You got some little minx waiting for you on the other side of tomorrow?
等我?
Me?
我都没谈过女朋友…
I’ve barely even had a girlfriend, and…
我其实特想拍完电影后就能找人上♥床♥
I was really hoping I’d get laid when this movie came out,
好像不太可能
but that’s not gonna happen.
你呢 爆破小子?
What about you, Masterblaster?
老家那里有你想要得到的人吗?
You got a certain someone you trying to get with back in the States?
阿尔帕·奇诺? 他可是整天整夜都有10个妞陪着
What, Alpa Chino? He’s like 10 girls deep, 24/7.
你理解错我的意思了
No. You missing me, man.
我是说的某个特别的人 与众不同的
I’m talking about something special. Big difference.
有吗?
How about it?
有
Yeah.
确实有
Yeah, there is.
有什么内部消息? 你们约会过了吗?
Well? What’s the skinny? Y’all been on a date or what?
没有 我…
No. I mean…
我一直想约会 不过可能永远不会有胆子去问
I always wanted to, but I guess I just never had the courage to ask.
事情…很复杂
It’s… It’s complicated.
得了! 跟做馅饼一样简单
No! It’s simple as pie, man.
你在地上站稳了 瞪着她眼睛说
You plant your feet in the ground, you look her square in the eyes, you say,
“宝贝 咱们约会吧” 这就结了
“Hey, baby, you and me’s going on a date.” That’s the end of story.
-她叫什么名儿? -兰斯
-What’s her name? -Lance.
“听我说 兰斯…”
“Listen here, Lance…”
兰斯? 我刚才听成什么了? 兰斯?
Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance?
-你说”兰斯”? -没有
-Did you say “Lance”? -No!
-听着像兰斯 -我说的是南斯
-That sounded like “Lance.” -No, I said “Nance.”
-我说南斯 -听着就是兰斯
-That’s what I said, “Nance.” -It sounded like “Lance.”
我可是阿尔帕·奇诺 好吧?
Look, I’m Alpa Chino, okay?
“我爱BB” 明白?
I love the pussy! All right?
屁♥股♥坐稳了 看你们的星星
Lay your ass back down and look at the stars.
你写那首”我爱BB”的歌♥时
When you wrote I Love Tha Pussy
是在想像你的蛋蛋在兰斯脑门上乱晃吧?
was you thinking of dangling your dice on Lance’s forehead?
我靠 说什么呢? 得了吧
Oh, hell, no! What? Come on. Look.
-伙计 人人都会有一时的同性恋倾向 -我不是
-Man, everyone’s gay once in a while. -I’m not gay!
好莱坞里不稀奇
This Hollywood.
还是聊正事吧
How about we all get back to work?
-好了 行了! -真是可笑!
-Okay. Cool. -This is ridiculous!
明天还有大事要做 大家别瞎分心
We got a big day tomorrow. Let’s get focused.
阿尔帕 你要给我松绑 我现在就去吸你DD
Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick right now.
我跟你说最后一遍 我喜欢BB
I told you, for the last time, I love the pussy!
我会捧住蛋蛋 按♥摩♥棒♥棒
I’ll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft,
来回运动 咽下肉汁
work the pipe and swallow the gravy.
你赶紧过来 咱们开始做吧
Get it over here, buddy. Let’s do this.
好 计划是什么?
Okay, so, what’s the plan?
你跟他们说越南话?
Are you gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?
不 我说普通话
No. No. Mandarin Chinese.
我听出来他们在这儿说汉语
Which, from what I can tell, is what they speaking down there.
你怎么会说汉语?
How the hell do you know Chinese?
和巩俐演过《丝绸黄金之地》 得了第2个金球奖 第3个奥斯卡
Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar.
为此我花了8个月在北♥京♥纺织厂干活体验
Prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.
估计这次能成
That might be our ride.
皮带太紧了!
The straps are too tight!
闭嘴 跟着我走
Shut your mouth and follow my lead.
-我无比尊敬你 -是谁啊
别动
冷静冷静 拿着你的鸡鸡
找到一个外国人 在稻田里
老天爷也有错
这皮带妈的快让我血液循环停止了!
The straps are cutting off my circulation!
靠你!
Fuck you!
你不知道 我老妈便秘
打你没关系 你老爸就是个错误
不要再说了 蠢蛋
我给你女儿准备了矮冬瓜
发现了另一个外国人 他很肥大
尊敬你 有礼了
有礼了 小蚁王
你在哪里发现这头肥猪的?
我发现这个白条像鲶鱼一样在稻田里找吃的
拉兹 别让他把我从牛上弄下来
Laz, don’t let him take me off the yak.
你个男鸭! 靠你!
Bitch whore! Fucking hate you!
什么时候?
是我找到他 在昨夜
好的
Okay.
你割稻子在晚上吗?
好的
All right.
看来那里是装弹♥药♥的小屋了
That looks like it could be the munitions hut right there.
我到大房♥子那里找快男
I’m gonna try to find Speedman in the main building.
我是说早上
原谅我的粗心
我脑子脱水了
我需要电解液
因为我的豌豆般的脑袋在便秘
闭嘴!
我虽然不懂中国话 但是听上去你在胡说
I don’t know Chinese but it sounds like your improvising is for shit.
喔! 干!
Oh, fuck!
你为什么遮脸?
你不用知道
我的脸长的象鲤鱼脸 象粘满了杏仁饼干
过来啊!
Get over here!
-你俩怎么在这儿? -他有手的!
-What are you guys doing here? -He has hands.
-他杀了戴门 -胡说!
-He killed Damien. -Bullshit!
-他还弄瞎了杰米·李·柯蒂斯 -差点弄瞎!
-He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis. -Almost!
你们胡说些什么? 是戴门自己踩上老式地雷了
What are you talking about? Damien stepped on a old landmine.
太好了 谢天谢地
Sweet. Thank God.
-我们这就去救快男 -快男也在这儿?
-We busting Speedman out. -Speedman’s here?
我一年去两三次劳务市场
这次为了彻底的装扮我甚至去了趟厕所
当我在爆♥炸♥后离开时 三八把我的脸和大部分牙齿都偷走了!
闭嘴!
你结结巴巴的
把这个胖子弄下来 拷问他
你滚回家去
我想你们是在演”雨季进攻”那出戏
I take it y’all are doing the Wet Offensive from the book.
我能帮你们转移视线
I can give y’all a diversion.
这一大坨火♥药♥估计能把这儿炸得 像国♥庆♥节放礼花一样
I got enough shit here to light this place up like it’s the Fourth of fucking July.
谢谢你的恩赐
我会很高兴回到我的罂粟田的
等一等!
一开始你说稻田 现在你说罂粟田
我两个都种
我种植多样化
你的农场在哪儿?
我的农场?
是的 你的农场
Yes, your farm.
你说话声音很奇怪
你的农场在哪儿?
Where is your farm,
美♥国♥佬♥?
American?
我的农场?
My farm?
我靠!
Oh, shit.
这他妈的就是我的农场!
Here’s my motherfucking farm!
耶!
Yeah!
耶! 咯吱喀嚓 宝贝!
Yeah! Chicka-chickaw, baby!
狂了!
Kwan-Lo!
我是农民头头 王八蛋们!
I’m a lead farmer, motherfucker!
耶!
Yeah!
耶! 耶! 把头低下!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep your head down!
把头贴到地上
Keep your head down on the ground!
谁也别动 要不我就干掉这个小老大
Nobody move or I do the little big guy!
干得好 咱们控制局面了 杰夫·波特牛
That’s right, we running this program now, J.P.
现在带我去找毒品
Now show me where the drugs are.
你♥他♥妈♥的怎么回事?
What the fuck?
这不在计划里!
That ain’t the plan!
别指责我!
Don’t judge me!
他的问题可真严重
He’s got a real serious problem.
嘿 你!
Hey! Hey, you!
把衣服脱了!
Take off your clothes!
现在怎么办?
What do we do now?
按着计划走 去找快男
Stick with the plan. Find Speedman.
阿尔帕 控制住这群小丑 咱们走
Alpa, keep this clown posse down. Come on now.
听着了吧 都给我温顺的呆好了别动
Y’all heard the man. Be suede, don’t move!