吸血鬼生活

More, more than ever just the chips.
我最爱的薯片 我却不能再吃了
My favorite food. I can’t eat chips.
我恨
I hate…
我当够吸血鬼了 这简直活得像坨屎
I said it. I’m over being a vampire. It’s shit.
所以 不要相信民间那些花言巧语
So, don’t, don’t believe the hype.
杰姬
Jackie?!
杰姬 能让我进去吗
Jackie, can I come in please?
好了 上♥床♥睡觉了 孩子们
Okay, off to bed, guys! Hello, children!
– 别看这个男人 – 你想让我杀了他吗
– Don’t look at the men. – You want me to kill this?
别看这个男人
Don’t look at the men!
我本来打算今晚咬你的
I was going to bite you tonight.
真的吗
Really?
但是现在我不能这么做了 因为尼克变成了吸血鬼
But now I can’t because there’s this Nick being a vampire.
不好意思 等等 我以为你两个月以前杀了他
Sorry, sorry, I thought you killed him 2 months ago.
不 我没杀他 他现在是个吸血鬼了
No, I didn’t…no… he’s a vampire.
什么意思
What do you mean?
他插♥你♥队了
He jumped in front of your place.
我想说的是
All I’m saying is that, um…
如果我有小♥弟♥弟♥ 我可能
You know if I had a penis, I would have been…
好几年前就被咬了
I would have been bitten years ago.
这件事可能要推迟
I might have to penalize you.
可能几年 也可能十几年
Perhaps another couple of years. Maybe 10 years.
围成一个圈子 互相咬对方的小♥弟♥弟♥
Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks.
他们穿的都不是普通衬衫 而是女式衬衫
You know, they don’t even wear shirts, they wear blouses. It’s, it’s
他们简直就是一个巨大的同性互咬俱乐部
… just a big homo-erotic dick biting club.
我却还要在这里给他们熨衬衣的花边
And I’m stuck here, ironing their fucking frills.
顺便帮忙打扫一下卫生间 谢谢
Also clean the bathroom, please.
里面到处都是血 令人毛骨悚然
It’s blood everywhere. It is gruesome.
就这样 明天见
Okay, see you tomorrow.
赶快上♥床♥睡觉吧
Off to bed, please.
凯瑟琳
Catherine.
她是那样的人美心善
She was so charming and nice.
她就是我想要的一切
She was everything I wanted.
不幸的是
Unfortunately…
她结婚了
… yeah, she was married.
我当然很想杀了这个男的
Sure, I wanted to kill the guy.
我幻想过把他的脑袋砍下来
I thought about, chopping his head off.
吸干♥他♥身体里的每一滴血
Draining him of every drop of blood that he had.
谁不想呢
Who wouldn’t?
但是 我看到了她幸福的笑脸
But then, I also saw how happy she was.
看到她开心 我也觉得开心
And that made me kind of happy.
我不想毁掉她的幸福
And I didn’t want to ruin it for her, so…
所以我做了件很光荣的事
I did the honorable thing and I just…
我退让了
… stepped back.
让她享受属于她的幸福
And let her live her life.
佩蒂尔
Petyr!
在哪儿啊
Where is it?
佩蒂尔
Petyr!
佩蒂尔
Petyr!
拿水来
Get water!
离阳光远一点 水呢 水呢
Get out of the sunlight! Get water! Get water!
去拿水 佩蒂尔 你离阳光远一点
Get water! Petyr, get away from the sunlight!
快躲到黑暗里 佩蒂尔
Get in the shadows, Petyr!
不要待在阳光下
Get out of the sunlight!
让开让开
Get out of my way!
我要进去啦
I’m going in!
我来了 佩蒂尔
I’m coming Petyr!
– 迪肯 你不能去 有阳光 – 我来啦
– Deacon, no, it’s sunlight! – I’m coming for you!
里面有阳光啊
It’s sunlight out there!
那可是阳光啊
It’s sunlight!
已经来不及了
I was too late.
关掉摄影机
Turn that thing off.
我们的朋友刚刚在一场严重的阳光事故中罹难了
Our friend had just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident.
关于事情的经过我是这么想的
So this is what I think happened.
吸血鬼猎人
The vampire hunter…
打破这里的窗户进来
… broke into the window here.
跳到桌子上 弄坏了桌腿
Has impacted the table. Breaking the table leg.
然后他从这个方向过来
Then he has come this way.
走向坟墓
Towards the tomb.
十字架
Crucifix!
快把十字架盖起来
Cover the crucifix!
然后呢
And then…
佩蒂尔从墓里出来了
… Petyr has burst from the tomb.
把墓盖砸向吸血鬼猎人
Pushed the tomb lid on to the vampire hunter.
之后阳光从这里照射进来
And then the sunlight has come through here.
活活烧死了佩蒂尔
And burned Petyr alive.
我感觉这就是个桌腿
Think this is just a table leg, which is…
打磨过的桌腿
… sanded down.
– 你觉得会是他亲手磨的吗 – 估计是
Do you think he hand sanded that, or? Yes.
想象一下 插在你身上
Image that, stuck in your…
这场景也太让人震惊了 尼克
It’s quite shocking down here, Nick.
看 这个就是我们可爱的佩蒂尔
Look, here’s our sweet Petyr.
烧的只剩灰了
Burnt to a sizzle.
– 我不知道是谁动的手 – 这是吸血鬼猎人
– I can’t figure out this. – This is the vampire hunter.
会是弗朗克吗
Is this Franco?
– 这人谁啊 – 你看看
– Uh, who’s this guy? – Look at this…
这血淋淋的脑袋 都被拧麻绳了
… bloody head, back to front.
从另一个方向拧回来
Twist it the other way, the other way!
让我们来看看这是谁
Let’s see who this guy is.
典型的硬汉脸 看了就讨厌
Hm, typical macho type. Yuck!
妈的
Oh, shit!
我认识这个人
I know that guy.
你认识他
You know him?
– 认识 – 什么
– Yeah. – What?
我有天晚上在市里遇到他
I saw him the other night in town.
告诉了他我是吸血鬼
Told him I was a vampire.
你说什么
What?!
他说他是吸血鬼猎人 我还以为开玩笑的
I thought he was joking. He said he was a vampire hunter.
你让一个吸血鬼猎人进了我们家
You let a vampire hunter into our house?
– 我只是给了他我的邮箱 – 尼克
– I just gave him my e-mail. – Nick!
舌头伸出来
Take out your tongue.
割了你舌头 按在你屁♥股♥上
And shove it down your ass.
你这个大嘴巴
You and your big mouth!
这就是个错误
It was a mistake!
能不能像个男人一样从天花板站起来
Get up and stand on this ceiling like a man.
我们都能说说理 好吗 兄弟
We can talk it out, yeah, man?
来谈谈嘛 兄弟
We can talk it out, mate!
– 我要杀了你 – 我早就死了
– I’ll kill you! – I’m already dead!
斯图 退后
Stu, stay back!
有人在门口
Someone’s at the door.
快去看看
Go, go.
妈的
Oh, shit.
– 晚上好 先生 – 你也好呀 警官
– Good evening, sir. – Hello, police.
我是奥莉丽警员 他是米诺格警员
Hi, I’m constable O’Leary. This is constable Minogue.
我们接到举报说
We’re just responding to a report of
您家可能有非法入侵
a possible forced entry and also.
以及有大量尖叫声
… a rather large amount of shrieking.
所以能让我们进去
Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in
四处看看情况吗
and just have a way look around?
好的
Okay.
这哥们干嘛呢 为什么拿着摄影机
What’s with the fellow? What’s with the camera?
我们过来是因为有电♥话♥打来
Yeah, we’re obviously just here cause there was a phone call
是周围的居民 说有很大的噪音
from the, a member of the public, um, about a bit of disturbance.
非常扰民
Um, some loud noises.
可能是有非法入侵的情况 还有别的吗
Possibly a forced entry, wasn’t there? Um…
并且还有烟飘出来
And, also, maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so…
所以我们来勘察一下现场 确保一切都
We’re just checking over the scene. Making sure every thing’s uh…
你知道的 总的来说
You know, above board sort of speaking, uh…
确保没人处在危险中 之类的
Making sure no ones in danger, that kind of thing.
我们可能还要上楼看一下 可以吗
We might go up and have a way look up there, if that’s alright with you?
– 来吧 带路吧 – 只是小小的参观一下