叫我第一名

我们要把自己的事告诉对方吧
So, ahh, I guess we’re just supposed to tell each other our life stories.
好啊
Umm, OK. Do, do…
那我能不能先喝杯咖啡
…you think I could get a, get a cup of coffee first?
-要喝咖啡 -对
-Cup of coffee. -Yeah.
-好 没问题 马上来 -谢谢
-Right. Yeah! Of course. Coming up. -Thanks.
你要不要吃个杯子蛋糕
Ah. Do you want, like, a muffin?
我在节食
I’m on a diet.
但我好想吃杯子蛋糕
But I would love a muffin.
我室友快把我搞疯了
My roommate is driving me absolutely crazy.
她从来不整理床铺 衣服到处丢
She never makes her bed she’s got clothes everywhere
她从早到晚都在大声听音乐
she’s, like, always blasting her music…
但我每次听我的音乐
…night and day. But, of course, whenever I want to listen to my music,
她就叫我转小声一点
she’s all, like, “you need to keep it down”.
你都听怎样的音乐
So what kind of music do you listen to?
-就…-说啊
-Well, umm, -Yeah?
大部分都是老歌♥啦 尤其是史汀…我超爱史汀的
Mostly oldies stuff. Especially Sting…Oh, I love Sting!
-玛丹娜 邦乔飞 -米利瓦尼利
-Madonna, Bon Jovi, you know -Milli Vanilli…?
我好喜欢米利瓦尼利
I love Milli Vanilli!
真的假的
Really?
等一下 你也喜欢
Wait. You too?
全世界大概只有我们两个人 喜欢米利瓦尼利吧
We’ve gotta be the only two people on earth that love Milli Vanilli.
-不会吧 -真的
-You do not. -Yeah!
我今天好开心 谢谢你
Well, I had a really nice time. Thank you.
我不应该吃那个杯子蛋糕啦
I shouldn’t have had that muffin but…
-但我很高兴能认识你 -我也是
-I really enjoyed meeting you. -Yeah, me too.
好了 谢谢你 布莱德
OK. Well, thanks again, Brad.
你这个猪头 你自己说她很完美
I can’t believe you! You said she was perfect
她是很完美啊 我只是不想毁了这一切
She was perfect. I just didn’t want to ruin it.
再约她出去会毁了一切
Oh, by asking to see her again?
对啦 第二次约会症候群
Oh, right: second date syndrome.
你打算就这样过一生 第一次约会就结束
So is that gonna be your life? Nothing but first and only dates?
那你怎么可能有进一步的发展
How do you ever expect to have a relationship?
也许就不要有啊
Maybe I don’t.
新邮件
南西 我在听米尼瓦尼利 想到认识同好的你有多幸运
布莱德 我也是
欢迎来上科恩老师的课
科恩老师
不一样也没关系
请进 进来吧
Come on in. Get in there.
请进
Come on in.
怪咖
Weirdo!
妥瑞症候群
你们的老师有警告过 科恩老师会发出怪声吗
Did your teachers warn you that Mr. Cohen makes funny noises?
有
Yeeesss.
-她说你有妥…妥…-妥瑞症
-She said you have Tour…tour…-Tourette Syndrome.
好 想知道什么就问吧
OK. Anything you want to know about it, I want you to ask.
会不会传染
Is it catching…?
不会 绝对不会 这是天生的 像我一样
No. Absolutely not. You have to be born with it, like I was.
会不会痛
Does it hurt?
有时候
Well, sometimes,
比如颈部抽搐就会痛 但发出怪声不会痛啦
like when my neck jerks. But the noises do not hurt at all.
问得很好 继续问
These are great questions, keep ’em coming.
关于妥瑞症的事都可以问我
And, it’s okay to ask me anything about Tourette’s
请说
yes?
-你可以去看电影吗 -我可以去看电影
-Can you go to movies? -Yes, I can go to movies,
但有时候会被赶出来 让我觉得很难过
but sometimes I get kicked out and that makes me sad.
那只兔子叫什么名字
What’s the bunny’s name?
威…威…威化
Waffle
威威威化
Wa Wa Waffle!
它叫威化啦
His name is just Waffle!
好了
All right, guys.
还有关于妥瑞症的疑问吗
Any more questions about Tourette’s?
有没有
Anyone?
科恩老师 你能不能好起来
Are they ever gonna make you well, Mr. Cohen?
目前是没有药可以治好妥瑞症
Well. Right now there’s no medicine that can cure Tourette’s.
但没关系
But, it’s okay.
因为我学会了接受 我不会让它毁了我的一生
Cuz I’ve learned to accept it and I don’t let it run my life.
你有什么不能做的吗 比如不能吃东西
What can’t you do? Like…can you not eat?
我可以吃东西
I can eat.
而且我很会吃哦 其实别人能做的事我都能做
OK, I eat a lot. In fact, I can do anything anybody else can do except
科恩老师只有一件事不能做
there is one thing that Mr. Cohen can never do.
-什么 -我不能说
-What? -No I can not
-是什么 -我不能说啦
-What is it? -No I just cann’t
-告诉我们嘛 -不行
-Tell us -No
告诉我们嘛
Come on tell us. Tell us.
对啊 快说嘛
Yeah, Tell us…
科恩老师永远不能玩捉迷藏
Mr. Cohen can never play hide and go seek.
-为什么你不能玩捉迷藏 -因为会被人听到啦 笨蛋
-Why can’t you play hide and seek? -Cause they’d hear him, stupid.
答对了
Well,
但用这样的字眼是不对的
that’s the right answer but it’s the wrong words,
因为在科恩老师班上不能骂人
because there won’t be any namecalling in Mr. Cohen’s class,
-请问你要去哪儿 -上厕所
-Excuse me? Where are you going? -Bathroom.
-你叫什么名字 -汤玛斯
-And what’s your name? -Thomas.
好 汤玛斯
OK. Well, Thomas,
如果你要离开座位 就要先征求我的同意
if you want to leave your seat, you have to ask for permission.
怪咖
Weirdo.
-科恩老师再见 -盖伦再见
-Bye, Mr. Cohen. -Bye, Gaylon.
科恩老师再见
Good bye, Mr. Cohen.
再见 海瑟 明天见
Bye Heather, I’ll see you tomorrow.
我好喜欢上你的课 科恩老师
I really like your class, Mr. Cohen!
谢谢你 亚曼妲
Oh, well, thank you, Amanda!
-莱特先生 你好吗 -我很好
-How are you doing Mr. Wright? -I’m fine.
四眼田鸡
Four eyes!
-四眼田鸡 口香糖给我 -不要过来
-Four eyes! Gimme gum! -Leave me alone!
好了 你抓住他 汤玛斯
OK, take him, Thomas.
伊莱 汤玛斯 你们谁想帮我
Eli! Thomas! Which one of you guys thinks that you can help me? Huh?
我要
I can, I can!
好 这样吧
All right, all right. Here’s the deal.
我这个球要放回篮子里
I need to get this ball and put it back in that bin.
你们来猜拳决定
Why don’t you guys shoot for it?
剪刀 石头 布
Rock, paper, scissor, shoot!
好 伊莱 你今天赢了
Whoa! All right, Eli. You win today. Boom!
-哎哟 -没关系啦 汤玛斯 你去帮他
-Ah, man! -It’s OK, Thomas, you can help him.
抱歉 我把汤玛斯丢给了你 但他实在闹得我不能上课
Sorry I stuck you with Thomas, but he was making my class impossible.
他有一大堆问题 注意力缺陷症 过动症
He’s got a whole alphabet of problems: ADD, ADHD, OCD.
听我的劝 把他转去特教班吧
You want my advice, you’ll pass him on to Special Ed.
不行
No.
我不能这么做
I can’t, ah, I can’t do that.
等他妨碍你几堂课你就知道了
Oh. See how you feel after he’s trashed a few classes.
没事的啦
I’ll be all right.
我只需要适应一下 我等不及明天了
I just need to get settled. I can’t wait for tomorrow.
好吧
OK.
你比我的喇叭还要吵啦
You make more noise than my air horn.
你好像是有妥瑞症吧
Sounds like you got healthy case of Tourette’s.
开玩笑的啦
I was just kidding with you, son.
我有个同事也有妥瑞症
I’ve got a dispatcher buddy with TS.
你有要搬东西就找梅心吧
You ever need any cross-country hauling, just call for Maxine.
你有名片吗
Hey, umm. Do you have a card?
我不是认真的啦
I wasn’t being serious, son.
除非你是从事运输业
Unless you’re in the shipping business.
不是 我是二年级的老师
Nah, I teach second grade.
梅心的红卡车
-这是我的名片 -好
-Here’s the card. -All right.
梅心给了我一个地理课的好主意
Maxine gave me a great idea for a geography lesson.
谢谢你 梅心
Thank you so much, Maxine.
-不客气 -小心开车
-You’re welcome. -Safe trucking.
我发现自己一直都在专心教书
I found myself focusing on teaching all the time.
几乎啦
Well, almost…
你知不知道我刚才发现什么
You know what I just realized?
什么
What?
所有的鸭子都有妥瑞症
All ducks have Tourette’s.
为什么
Why is that?
我不知道 我跟它们是同类
I don’t know. We’re birds of a feather.