要是智商200能叫睿智的话
If an iq of 200 is brilliant.
她转述了你的生活无义论
She explained to me your theory about life being meaningless.
别让这理论毁掉约会
Don’t let it spoil your evening.
-好了 佩里走吧 -好
– okay, let’s go, Perry. – okay.
等等 过来
Oh, hey! come here.
别把我的隐私告诉他
Don’t give him any information about me.
比如
Like what?
生日 信♥用♥卡♥号♥ 血型之类
You know, dates, credit card numbers, blood type, things like that.
再见 博里斯
Goodbye, Boris.
如果你回来时我不在 别担心
Oh, and hey, if I’m not here when you get back, don’t worry.
你要去哪
Oh? where are you going?
-出去晃晃 -好的
– out. – okay, fine.
-我也是有朋友的 -知道了
– yeah, I have friends, too. – okay. yeah.
听说开场音乐很不错
I even heard the opening’s supposed to be good.
是的 你以前听过他们的歌♥吗
Yeah, they are. have you seen them before?
没有 这是我到纽约第一次听音乐会
No, no. this is my first concert in new york.
你没跟我说过
You didn’t tell me that.
得了吧你
Get the hell outta here.
在美国 用什么理由开夏令营都行
In america, they have summer camps for everything.
贵族营 篮球营 魔术营
Rich kids, basketball camp, magic camp.
-网球营 -对 还有导演营
– tennis camp. – tennis camp. movie director camp!
还该搞一个集中营
They should have a concentration camp.
两周♥强♥化训练成长
Two weeks mandatory for all kids growing up,
了解如何发挥人类的潜力
So they would finally understand what the human race is capable of.
太妙了 不过谁会送孩子去集中营
Brilliant! except who’d send their kid to a concentration camp?
有责任心的父母 希望孩子把握现实的
A responsible parent who wants their child to grasp reality.
好吧好吧 换个话题
Alright, alright, alright, let’s change the subject.
对了 哈里·劳森死了
Meanwhile, Harry Lawson died.
-哈里·劳森 -没错 我听说了
– Harry Lawson? – yeah, I heard.
刚过完51岁生日
Yeah. just celebrated his fifty-first birthday.
-他是个好药剂师 -不过他抽烟
– what a great chemist. – but he was a smoker.
抽烟啊 现代人死因不是吸烟就是超重
A smoker. the minute a person dies, he’s a smoker or overweight.
告诉你 不吸烟的瘦子也会死 好吧
Hey, I got news for you, thin non-smokers die, too. okay?
节制禁欲不是万能
Abstinence isn’t gonna save you.
你今晚挺高兴啊
You’re pleasant tonight.
-什么意思 -梅迪在哪
– what are you talking about? – where’s Melody tonight?
她去听那些震耳欲聋的垃圾噪音了
She’s out listening to some eardrum-busting bilge posing as music.
我以为你把她赶出去了
I thought you were gonna kick her out.
希望今晚那家伙能带她离开我
Well, hopefully this guy tonight will take her off my hands.
没啥不好的 她挺漂亮
You know, why not? I mean, she’s pretty.
你说她漂亮了
Now she’s pretty?
她也不是丑八怪就是
What? I’m just saying she’s not atrocious-looking. that’s all.
能打个7、8分吧
I’d say a seven or eight.
有人吗
Anybody here?
-你起来了 -我也刚回来
– oh, you’re up! – yeah, I just got in.
你干什么去了
And what did you do?
我去了拉丁俱乐部 今晚跳林波舞
I went dancing at a latin club. it was limbo night.
胡说
Shut up!
你肯定在聊人 聊政♥治♥
You were talking about people…
什么东西都批评一通
And politics and all that stuff you guys like to hate.
约会怎么样
Oh… how was your date?
-太失败了 -是吗
– it was a big washout! yeah. – really?
专业摇滚乐队也不怎么样
This particular rock band wasn’t any good?
你还知道辨别啊
I don’t know how you can differentiate?
不是 音乐本身不错 只是…
No! no, the music was fine. just…
那人和他的朋友 我…
That guy and his friends! I just…
怎么
What?
他的品味有问题 什么都喜欢
Well, his taste! he just… he likes everything.
生活 爱情 人类
Life, love, human beings!
还有同去的那对 他们都是质子
And the couple that we double-dated with, they were just protons!
-质子 -我说了质子吗
– protons? – do I mean protons?
是笨蛋
Cretins!
我想说笨蛋 他们根本就不懂
Cretins, that’s what I mean. yeah, they didn’t know…
对弦理论一窍不通
The first thing about string theory.
你喝高了
I think you’re a little drunk.
就喝了一点点
I did have a few drinks.
能怪我吗 跟那些笨蛋出去玩
But can you blame me? hanging out with those inchworms?
他们真的以为爱情能解决一切
I mean, they actually think that love is the answer to everything.
回家路上我说了杰思·罗佩奇的事[一头奶牛]
I told them about Jethro Paige from back home.
它跟绵羊…跟绵羊做♥爱♥被抓了现行
He got caught doing it with a sheep. making love with a sheep.
而且他们见什么都要笑
And they were all laughing and everything,
我就看着他们说: 伙计们
But I just looked at them and said, “folks,
正如博里斯所说 怎样都行
“as Boris would say, whatever works”.
-你看什么 -难以置信
– what’re you looking at? – unbelievable.
人生中的机遇真是不可预料
The chance factor in life is mind-boggling.
你诞生在
You entered the world…
密西西比某地
By a random event…
是出于偶然
Somewhere along the mississippi.
我呢 则是随着珊敏和叶言他
I, having emerged through the conjoining…
在纽约布洛克斯区的结合产生的
Of Sam and Yetta Yellnikoff in the bronx,
比你早几十年
Decades earlier.
随着无数
And through an astronomical…
随机事件的发生
Concatenation of circumstances,
我们相会了
Our paths cross.
两条轨道
Two runaways…
在广袤的
In the vast,
黑暗的
Black,
无法意会的暴♥力♥中…
Unspeakably violent…
不同的宇宙中…相会
And indifferent universe.
你相信吗 我娶了她 我这是怎么了
Can you believe I married her? what possessed me?
在生活中找寻赋予幻觉含义的事物
This search in life for something to give the illusion of meaning.
借此消除恐惧感
To quell the panic.
结婚一年了
Alright, so it’s been a year.
365天婚姻生活
3 hundred and 65 days of married life.
知道吗 这一年过得还不错
And you know what? not the worst year of my life, either.
这是什么
What are these?
-粗燕麦粉 -真的?
– they’re grits. – seriously?
口感真恶心
They’re actually disgusting.
她乐观知足
She’s cheerful, not demanding.
虽然没杰西卡聪明
Okay, not as brilliant as Jessica,
但也没有她那么大的野心
But not as ambitious and predatoct, either.
杰西卡的缺点是过分自我 不够超我
Jessica’s problem was she made up in ego what she lacked in superego.
但Melody不是
But not Melody.
她乐于照顾人 喜欢和别人的小孩相处
She likes being a nanny. she’s happy with other people’s kids,
希望她不会烦我要一个自己的
So mercifully she doesn’t bother me about having our own.
我们每周看一次电影
Once a week we see a movie.
也许她不明白我教的每件事
Maybe she doesn’t understand everything I take her to,
但她很努力 是个贤内助
But she tries and she’s a good sport.
恐惧症发作的时候 她就陪我坐着
She sits up nights with me when I have my panic attacks.
如果我觉得蚊子叮的包是黑素瘤
She keeps me company at the emergency room
她陪我上急诊室
When I’m convinced my mosquito bite is a melanoma.
没错 我的生活圈子有限 但压力也少了
Yes, my life is circumscribed, but I manage to avoid stress.
达到了微妙的平衡
I’ve achieved a delicate balance.
如果能够保持 这么过下去也不错
And as long as I can maintain it, I feel less inclined to ending it.
不不 不行
Oh, no, no, no.
-不能接受 关掉 不好听 -什么
– unacceptable. come on, this is not good. – what?
我喜欢能跳舞的音乐
I like music I can dance to.
我知道 但这个太粗鲁了 我给你听点别的
I know, I know, but this is brutal. here, you know what I want you to do?
听听这个 等我出来我们讨论一下
Put this on. okay? and then when I come out, we’ll discuss it.
好吧 我试试
All right, I’ll try.
贝多芬第五交响曲
It’s beethoven’s fifth!
想象一下 命运在敲击你的大门
Think of the music as fate knocking on the door.
想象一个故事有助你理解
Maybe a little story will help you appreciate it.
命运在敲击大门
Fate knocking on the door.
-妈妈 -梅迪
– mother? – Melody!
是你
Oh, it’s you!
-天啊 -我的宝贝
– oh, my god. – it’s my baby!
感谢耶稣 我终于找到你了
I finally found you, praise jesus!
你怎么找到我的
How did you find me?
祈祷总会给我答案
Oh, my prayers were finally answered!

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