怎样都行（2009）

我知道你需要固定程式
I know you require a certain ritual.
洗澡后吃晚饭 但不要又是小龙虾派
And then after the shower, our dinner, but not crawfish pie again.
上次吃完我就消化不良了 还以为得了甲状腺癌
I got indigestion from it last time. I thought I had thyroid cancer.
博里斯 我有别人了 我坠入爱河了
Boris, I met someone else. I’ve fallen in love.
然后贝多芬或舒伯特 但…
And then some Beethoven, maybe some Schubert for a change, but, you know..
你有别人了
You met someone else?
不是说我对你没有深厚的感情 我有
I’m not saying I don’t have very deep feelings for you. I do.
你有别人了
You met someone else?
是的
Yes.
你想跟你妈妈一样 三人行
And you want us to live in a threesome, like your mother?
博里斯 当你遇到我时 我还很年轻
Boris, when you found me, I was very young.
你还是很年轻啊
You’re still very young.
是 但我长大了
Yes, but I’ve grown.
因为你 我成熟了很多
I’ve grown so much. and mainly because of you.
这倒是实话 我对你惊人的愚昧很有耐心
Yes, it’s true. I have been very patient with your phenomenal ignorance.
你不能永远依靠我
You can always count on me for anything.
我只是…
I just…
正处于易受影响的年纪 还有…
I guess I’m at a very impressionable age, and I…
我不知道如何表达
I can’t think of a way to say this well.
-你不用费心表达 -我想表达
– You don’t have to say it well. – I want to.
我完全理解 真的
I completely understand. I do.
这并不违背我的信仰
This does not run counter to my convictions that
爱情转瞬即逝
Love relationships are almost invariably transient.
我认为事实并非如此
I don’t really think that’s true if they’re right.
真的 你有自己的想法
Really? you have your own ideas?
就像一对夫妻感情并不深厚 但…
Just a couple. you know, they’re not very deep, but…
即使生活很残酷 我还是想参与其中
As cruel as life is, I miss participating in the world.
我甚至怀念那些人 那些笨蛋白♥痴♥
And I even miss people, even the inchworms and the cretins,
他们不是坏人 只是害怕罢了
Because I don’t really think they’re bad, I think they’re just scared.
你的决定是正确的
I think you’re making the correct decision.
-博里斯…-我说真的
– Boris… – I mean it.
我是个知识渊博而敏感的人
I’m a profound and sensitive soul with an enormous grasp
对人类现状有深刻体会
Of the human condition.
不可避免 最终你会…
It was inevitable you would
厌烦被全面压倒 和伟人生活并非易事
Eventually grow tired of being so grossly overmatched.
对普通人来说尤其如此
Greatness isn’t easy to live with, even by someone of normal intelligence.
你很沮丧 我不期望你会理解 你怎么理解呢
You’re upset. I don’t expect you to understand. how could you?
相信我
Believe me,
如果我能理解量子力学
If I can understand quantum mechanics,
我当然能理解
I can certainly comprehend the thought process
一个智力低下的乐队指挥的思维过程
Of a sub-mental baton twirler.
-博里斯…-没关系
– Boris… – It’s okay.
我知道这一天迟早会来
I knew this day would come. I really did.
宇宙都在趋向毁灭 我们为何就不会呢
The universe is winding down. why shouldn’t we?
再来一杯
Again!
我也再来一杯
I’ll have another, too.
她离开我 你相信吗
She left me. can you believe it?
我说什么啊 是我离开她 她孤身一人
What am I talking about? I left her. she’s alone.
现在 不管她往哪边睡都有个丈夫
Now, no matter which way she turns in bed, she’s got a husband.
我太太也离开我了
My wife left me, too.
她肯定很漂亮 就像我太太一样
I’m sure she was beautiful, just like my wife.
诺曼吗
Norman?
诺曼非常帅
Norman was gorgeous.
他是范思哲有史以来最棒的模特
He was the greatest runway model Versace ever had.
我以为是说你太太
I thought you said your wife.
我们在荷兰结婚[荷兰法律认可同性婚姻]
We were married in Holland.
你跟一个男人结婚
You married a guy?
不然呢
What else?
但你会变成…
But that would make you…
什么 一个鳏夫 诺曼没有死
What? a widow? Norman didn’t die.
不是鳏夫 一个…
Not a widow, a…
-同志 -成为一个…
– Gay? – A member of the…
一个什么
Of what?
一个同性恋
The homosexual persuasion.
天哪
My god.
你说话像个信徒
You make it sound like a religion.
如果那是一种信仰 你可以说我虔诚狂热
Yes. If it’s a religion, you could call me devout. a fanatic.
但那是违背神的旨意的一种罪
But that’s a sin against god’s law.
神就是同志
God is gay.
不可能 他使整个宇宙如此和谐
He can’t be. he made the whole universe perfect.
海洋 天空 美丽的花朵 到处可见的树木
The oceans, the skies, the beautiful flowers, the trees everywhere.
没错 他是个装潢师
That’s right. he’s a decorator.
我还是不懂 他有什么好的
But what do you miss about him? I still don’t get it.
什么都好
Everything.
他的脸庞
His face.
他的善良 他的幽默
His kindness, his sense of humor.
我们共有的激♥情♥时刻
Our mutual passion.
跳舞的方式 他让我后仰然后吻我
The way we’d dance and he’d dip me back and kiss me.
上帝啊
Jesus.
他干吗离开你 她离开你 诺曼离开你
Why did he leave you? she leave you. Norman.
他想定居巴黎 但我无法撇下生病的母亲
He wants to live in Paris, and I can’t leave my sick mother.
你妈是个女人吗
Is your mother a woman?
她年轻时像玛琳·黛德丽(好莱坞电影明星)
She used to look like Marlene Dietrich.
有何不同 她们最终都伤害了你 每个女人都一样
What’s the difference? they all hurt you in the end, every woman,
不管他们是男是女
Whether they’re male or female.
你太太为什么离开你
Why did yours leave you?
我为她闺蜜离开她 但最终失败
I left her for her best friend, but it didn’t work out.
为何失败
Why not?
我该说实话吗
Can I be perfectly frank with you?
我心理承受能力不错
I don’t shock easily.
我无法跟她做♥爱♥
I couldn’t make love to her.
为什么
Why not?
起初还好 但之后我失去性趣 想要玛丽塔
It was fine at first, but then I lost interest, I wanted Marietta back.
真可笑 过去几年
Which is funny, because in the last years,
我对玛丽塔都没有性趣
I really didn’t have a lotta sexual interest in Marietta.
在异性恋身上很常见 我们一直都有性趣
That happens with you heteros. we always have interest.
上帝啊 如果要我坦白…
Christ, if I’m going to be honest,
我从未曾对玛丽塔燃起过欲♥火♥
You know, I never, ever really had a burning sexual desire for Marietta.
那你干吗娶她
Why’d you marry her?
大家都这样啊 我住的地方
It was the thing to do. everybody where I lived,
他们有妻子 有孩子 还有…
You had a wife and children and…
我真的可以跟你说实话吗
Can I really level with you?
当然
Of course.
我叫约翰 萧约翰
John. John Celestine.
约翰 我叫霍卡明尼卡明
Of course, John. I’m Howard Cummings, Nee Kaminsky.
我娶玛丽塔 是因为我害怕
I married Marietta, because I was afraid.
害怕什么
Of what?
怕在橄榄球队里按捺不住冲动
The way I felt towards the tight end on the football team.
每次他俯身冲刺我就受不了
Every time he got in the line of scrimmage and bent over.
服务员 请再来一杯
Bartender, another round for my friend and me, please.
你相信我两次自杀失败吗
Can you believe I blew it twice?
我跳窗 砸到一个遛狗的女人
I jumped out the window and landed on a woman walking her dog.
她受伤了 而我毫发无损
She got hurt. I got off scot-free.
你不知道自己的行为对他人的影响吗
Don’t you realize the consequences of your actions impact on other people?
-得了吧 别说了 -不 你自杀成功又怎样
– Oh, come on. seriously. – No. what if you had committed suicide?
想想 如果你死了 你不知道…
Think, think if you didn’t exist, how the world…
世界会怎样瞬间改变
Would suddenly change in ways you can’t imagine.
天哪 你知道吗
Oh, my god. you know what?
你说话活像圣诞必看电影
You sound like that movie they ram down your throat every christmas.
-什么 -要是守护天使…
– What? – What if the guardian angel…
救了吉米·史都华会怎么样(美国著名影星)
Had saved Jimmy Stewart,
吉米·史都华在床上抽烟
And Jimmy Stewart was the guy who smoked in bed,
他活下来了 引发的火灾却烧死了60人
And he lived and caused a fire that killed 60 people? so?
怎么样 人的生命都值得拯救吗
How about that? everybody’s life is still worth saving?
即使是圣诞节 说说看 说真的
Even if it’s christmas? come on, seriously.
你的人生观真消极
You must have a very dim view of the human race.
人类
Oh, the human race.
他们得在公厕安装自动马桶
They’ve had to install automatic toilets in public restrooms,
因为人们不会自觉冲厕
Because people can’t be entrusted to flush a toilet.
拜托 冲马桶啊 连马桶都不冲
Come on, flushing a toilet! they can’t even flush a toilet!