游戏之夜（2018）

嘿
HI!
谁在乎赢不赢 喝酒吧
Who cares about winning? Let’s get drunk!
开始吧
Let’s do it.
从现在开始好好喝 梅金斯 你也是 柏格
Let’s get you drunk, Merkins. You, too, Borgs.
我口渴了 嗯？
I’m thirsty. Huh?
给我4杯伏特加 4杯白水
I need four shots of vodka, four shots of water.
把伏特加送去梅金斯那里
I want you to send the vodka over to the Merkins.
水送给我们 明白了吗？
Send the water to us. You understand?
哪一个前最高法♥院♥法官…
What former Supreme Court Justice…
– 奥利弗温德尔霍姆斯 – 回答正确
– Oliver Wendell Holmes! – Correct.
好
Yes!
再次申明 我希望参赛选手们可以先等我…
Again, I’d like to ask the players to allow me to…
说完问题再回答
To finish the question.
真幽默
Very funny.
好了 好了 现在的情况非常尴尬
Okay, okay. This is getting embarrassing,
我们必须集中精力
so we need to focus
因为这已经不是一场游戏这么简单了
because this isn’t a game.
这就是一场游戏
It literally is.
比尔 现在不是开玩笑的时候
Bill, do not test me right now.
现在领先的两个队伍同分
Looks like we’re down to two teams.
最后一道加分题
So, for double points,
紫色的天线宝宝叫什么？
what is the name of the purple Teletubby?
– 丁丁 – 两队都回答正确
– Tinky Winky! – You’re both correct.
他总是喜欢拿着一个…
He always carried a…
– 红色的手提袋 – 没错
– Red purse. – Yeah.
– 而且他还喜欢大大的拥抱 – 大大的拥抱
– And he loved big hugs. – Big hugs.
我知道我叫麦克斯
I know. I’m Max.
我叫安妮
Annie.
哈哈你们是永远没办法一直占据亚洲 听清楚了吗？
Ha- ha! You’re never gonna be able to hold on to Asia! You hear me?
嘿 如果你占据堪察加半岛 我占据蒙古
Hey, if you take Kamchatka, and I take Mongolia,
我们就可以把琳达困在中间了
we could trap Linda in the middle.
– 饿死她的军队 – 嘿
– Starve out her armies. – Hey!
你们怎么能结盟呢
You can’t form alliances.
我们都是希♥特♥勒♥的手下 是吧？
Worked for Hitler, right? Hmm?
你们居然为希♥特♥勒♥击掌？
You’re high- fiving Hitler?
好吧，你明白了 最后一题
All right, you got this. Last one.
答案是 “暮光之城:破晓”
Oh, that’s Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.
答对了
Yes!
我对我很有信心
I’m up. I feel good.
二个词
Two words.
比尔 肥胖
Bill. Overweight.
– 不对 – 单身失业
– No. – Single. Out of work.
什么鬼？
What the fuck?
多毛
Hairy.
拿着 结婚
Uh, carry, marry.
结婚
Marry!
你 我
You. Me.
嫁给我？
Marry me?
我们答对了 我们答对了
Dude, we got it! We got it!
安妮 你愿意吗？
Annie, will you?
你愿意嫁给我么？
Will you marry me?
– 你这是答应了么？你答应了 – 我愿意
– Is that a yes? That’s a yes! – Yeah!
真为你们高兴啊
I’m really happy for you guys.
【游 戏 之 夜】
– 看起来你压力很大啊 – 是的
– Ooh, lot of pressure here. – Yeah.
一个不小心 就有可能全盘皆输
You miss, you lose it all.
别分散我的注意力
Stay out of my head.
你的手比较小 玩这个有明显的优势 这一点你是清楚的吧？
And you know you have a distinct advantage with the smaller hands, right?
你取胜的关键就在于你的手没我的大
Your goal posts are not as big.
那你应该娶乌玛瑟曼啊
Well, I guess you should’ve married Uma Thurman.
我倒有这个想法
Yeah, that would’ve been great.
就算你再怎么影响我 我也还是可以稳得住
There’s a snap. Here’s the hold.
– 喔 – 偏偏在这个时候来条短♥信♥
– Ooh! – And a text.
这属于外界干扰成绩不算
That was interference.
抱歉 亲爱的 我知道输赢对你有多重要
Sorry, honey. I know how much that meant to you.
不是吧
Come on.
陈医生已经在等你们了
Dr. Chin is ready for you.
啊 好的
Uh, great.
我想我们已经找到你们无法怀上孩子的原因了
I think we’ve determined why you’ve been having trouble conceiving.
– 好的 告诉我们吧 – 好吧
– Okay. Let’s have it. – Okay, great.
这是什么表情？是我的原因吗？想也想到了
Oh, what’s that look? Is it me? Of course, it’s me.
你的精♥子♥质量不是很好
I’m not loving your semen.
啊？
Oh?
你的精♥子♥数量是非常好的 但是游动性处于平均水平以下
Your count is excellent, but your motility is well below normal.
– 那太糟糕了 – 是什么原因引起的呢？
– That’s too bad. – What would cause that?
有可能是基因的问题 也有可能是环境因素造成的
It can be genetic, environmental factors.
但是有9成的情况都是由心理或精神方面的问题引起的
Nine times out of 10, though, it’s psychological.
你最近有感觉非常焦虑或者压力大吗？
Have you been feeling anxious or stressed?
应该没有吧
No, I don’t think so. Not really.
呃… 他其实一直压力都有点大
Uh… He’s always a little stressed.
你不需要把这个写下来 我没有…
You don’t have to write… I’m not…
亲爱的 她写下来了
Honey, she’s writing it down.
麦克斯这个人的好胜心非常强 我也一样
Well, Max is very competitive. As am I.
这点我同意
We sure are.
这也是我爱上他的原因之一
One of the reasons I fell in love with him.
这有可能是导致他比正常人的压力要稍微大那么一点点的原因
Maybe, uh, that makes him a little more prone to stress than normal people.
“正常人”？
“Normal people”?
这种情况持续多长时间了 麦克斯？
How long has this been going on, Max?
这不是持续多长时间的问题
It’s not going on.
对了 你确实说过 即使是在你很小的时候
Oh, well, you did say, even when you were a kid,
当你比赛什么的全输了 你会发疯的
you would freak out if you lost at anything.
– 我从小就这样 – 特别是当你输给你哥哥的时候
– Oh, I was a kid. – Especially if you lost to your brother.
嗯
Hmm.
嘿 是因为你哥哥吗？
Hey, is that what this is?
不是
No.
自从你知道布鲁克林要回来之后 你就一直非常的紧张
You have been so uptight since you found out that Brooks is coming to town.
– 我哪有 – 我没办法受孕不会跟这件事有关系吧？
– I don’t think that’s true. – Could that be a factor in all this?
实话实说
Let’s be fair.
手足之争造成的影响远比我们愚象中要强大
Sibling rivalry can be very powerful.
比如该隐和亚伯鲍德温兄弟
Cain and Abel, the Baldwins.
– 什么东西？- 兄弟之间的竞争
– The what? – The brothers.
我不知道我们干嘛要谈这件事 她又不是心理医生
I’m not sure why we’re discussing this. She’s not a therapist.
恕我直言 你不是心理医生对吧
You’re not a therapist, right? With all respect.
– 对但我也是个医生啊 – 这倒没错
– No, but I am a doctor. – Sure.
我的最终目的也一定是建立在把病人治好之上的
And I believe in treating the whole patient.
所以 你哥哥到底有哪些方面会让你觉得自己低人一等？
So, what is it about your brother that makes you feel emasculated?
真的要谈这个？
Are we gonna do this?
我刚刚才在隔壁的房♥间打完手♥枪♥
We’re right next to the room where I masturbated.
我觉得是因为他心里其实一直觉得布鲁克林
I think he has it in his head that Brooks is cooler
比他更酷 更成功 更帅
and more successful and hotter than he is.
我从没说过“更帅”哦
I never said hotter.
他确实很有魅力
He’s charming.
有意思 他单身吗？
That’s interesting. And is he single?
问这个干什么？
What’s that?
我不知道有没有跟你们提过 我跟基思现在临时分居了
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but Keith and I are on a trial separation.
– 哦 – 基思？
– Oh. – Keith?
对 基思
Uh, Keith.
所以 你觉得你哥哥会不会愿意跟我出去喝杯咖啡什么的？
So, do you think your brother would wanna grab a cup of coffee with me?
天啊 我怎么知道
Gosh, I don’t know.
问一下又不会死
Well, it doesn’t hurt to ask.
那可不一定
Hurts a little.
还有他高不高 因为我只有5尺2
Now, is he a tall fellow? ‘Cause I’m only 5’2″.
不说我精♥子♥的问题啦？
We’re all done with my semen?
他比麦克斯高一点
He is taller than Max.
– 很好 – 但他以前确实跟一个芭蕾舞演员约过会
– Good. – But he did date this ballerina once,
那个女孩就是个小不点儿
and she was just a teeny- tiny little thing.
噢
Ooh.
亲爱的 盖理 游戏之夜的事知道吗？
Honey, Gary. Don’t mention game night, okay?
嗯哼
Mmm- hmm.
– 晚上好 麦克斯 – 你好 盖理
– Good evening, Max. – Hey, Gary.
– 安妮 – 你好啊